Dating Kinky
367 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★ - 5 ratingsA ‘cast about love, sex, romance, and kink.
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Episodes
Guaranteed! Fix 70% of Your "Basic Bitch" Relationship Problems With This ONE Simple Trick!
April 29, 2022 12:10 - 4 minutesWe end up in relationships of habit, or of assumptions, rather than intentionally creating relations that fill us and give us room to grow.
A key point we often miss when discussing consent...
April 28, 2022 18:00 - 12 minutesThere is something missing in every major consent piece I've read, and even those that mention it seems to gloss it over, as they are focused primarily on the physical, rather than the mental results of consent.
You're asking the wrong question!
April 27, 2022 12:00 - 10 minutesI prefer not to answer questions like this because the answer doesn't help you.
Have you ever wondered, "Am I being used?"
April 25, 2022 12:09 - 12 minutesUltimately, when someone questions whether they are being used, it typically means the person feels they've been taken advantage of and their boundaries have been violated.
I’m open to connections. I’m not “looking.”
April 22, 2022 12:01 - 11 minutesLooking, to me, suggests that I've got ideas about how I'd like people to fit into my life. Like a life partner, or a lover, or a particular scene I'd like to fulfill, or whatever. I'm not looking.
Love Hurts, Part 2
April 21, 2022 18:00 - 12 minutesLove seems so simple. Where is the hurt in love? What about love can make you feel hurt?
I set calendar reminders to tell people I appreciate them.
April 20, 2022 12:00 - 15 minutesI'd hazard to say that many people (most people) don't give good feedback regularly at all, to anyone.
Lying to prove love and loyalty: is it worth it?
April 18, 2022 12:00 - 8 minutesI write about lies and lying every now and again, and I'm constantly surprised at how many people tell me that lying is OK in their relationships.
How do we cultivate apathy in our relationships?
April 15, 2022 12:00 - 13 minutesApathy is probably not something we want a lot of in our relationships, yet it's easy to grow, and it springs up in so many places when we're not looking.
The night I tried to be sexy...
April 14, 2022 18:00 - 9 minutesHint: It didn't go well. It crushed me.
I'm selfish AF, and proud of it.
April 13, 2022 12:00 - 9 minutes - 4.51 MBThose who know me best know for a fact I am selfish. I do what I do because it gives me pleasure.
Dom VS. Domme: What's the difference?
April 11, 2022 12:00 - 14 minutesIt's not just masculine dominance and feminine dominance. Unnecessary gendering is not all that comes with the domme label, is it?
GUEST POST: Single Guys: Roles in the (Cuckolding/Hotwife/Swing) Lifestyles
April 08, 2022 12:00 - 16 minutesBulls, playmates, occaisionals, oh my! Single men in the cuckolding/hotwife/swing lifestyles.
Are You A Priority? Do You Really Want To Be?
April 07, 2022 18:00 - 6 minutesLots of people ARE really busy. To suggest that some people do not have more on their plate than others is denying reality.
Is your relationship style descriptive or prescriptive?
April 06, 2022 12:00 - 9 minutes"I find that we work best with descriptive relationships, rather than prescriptive."
Boundaries' Companion: Fulfillment Points
April 04, 2022 12:11 - 7 minutes - 3.68 MBIt's important to know not only what you won't tolerate in a relationship, but also what fills you up, makes you happy, and what you want and need.
YET ANOTHER reason I hate the concept of "compromise."
March 25, 2022 12:23 - 10 minutes - 4.78 MBIf I care more about how toilet paper is rolled than my partner's happiness, I'm an asshole.
F*¢k NO, I Will NOT Compromise!
March 24, 2022 18:00 - 7 minutes - 3.83 MBWhy do we compromise by default? Why has anyone ever thought that it was a good idea to base a relationship on lowering your wants, needs, and standards?
Stop creating the wrong you.
March 23, 2022 12:00 - 4 minutes - 2.08 MBWho you are (including your fears) shapes what you do, and what you do then shapes who you are (including your fears).
The Effort IS the Reward (Sometimes)
March 21, 2022 12:00 - 6 minutes - 3.19 MBWhat if it's the journey, not the destination that matters? What if you will never ultimately reach your destination, so how you chose to live and strive is what matters?
Boundaries Are Sexy AF: Enforcing boundaries
March 18, 2022 11:56 - 11 minutes - 5.38 MBThe question about boundaries that I get asked most often is, "How do I enforce a boundary?" Good question! Thank you for asking.
Paraphrasing is an amazing, valuable tool when used right (Thoughts On Communication, Part VII)
March 17, 2022 18:00 - 5 minutes - 2.79 MBParaphrasing ideas and concepts into your own words is useful when you are using it as a tool to actually bridge the communications gap. Paraphrasing is also manipulative, self-centered, and often wrong.
We make relationships hard. They don’t have to be. Part 1
March 16, 2022 12:00 - 10 minutes - 4.96 MBReveling in the sweet spots of our relationships makes things wonderful and delicious, while spending time in the ick spots makes us both lesser people, and brings us even more fear, loathing, resentment, anger and more.
Choose people who choose you.
March 14, 2022 12:33 - 6 minutes - 2.82 MBTook me a long time to learn this lesson, but now that I've learned it, I can't even remember what it was like to feel another way.
There is REALLY a fundamental equality in kink.
March 11, 2022 13:00 - 9 minutes - 4.45 MBA dominant and a submissive (or any role), are humans first. They simply have different needs and desires. While this sort of idea is given lip service, many times, implicit bias gets mixed in with discussions.
Your big 'But' is showing.
March 11, 2022 03:20 - 5 minutes - 2.78 MBWhen you stick your big "but" out there for all to see (and hear), this is what happens.
Am I into younger men?
March 09, 2022 13:00 - 4 minutes - 2.27 MBI've dated younger men that I really enjoyed, and I've met older men who I couldn't stand. BUT...
How do you screen for partners for play, dating, or love?
March 07, 2022 13:13 - 8 minutes - 4.08 MBDo whatever you are willing and ENJOY doing, and don't do the rest. Then, it doesn't matter about reading them or whatever, because you are living your best life.
GUEST POST: The Pain of Healing
February 23, 2022 06:36 - 13 minutes - 6.07 MBIt all began with a kiss. A simple gesture of togetherness. The crowned Queen and the hooded Catsuit. The darkness overwhelming me, looking to be brought into the light.
GUEST POST: The Effects of NRE & Misinterpretations
February 21, 2022 14:46 - 11 minutes - 5.12 MB"All the red flags were there and she just didn't see them."
The hot dogs keep coming...
February 18, 2022 13:00 - 6 minutes - 3.28 MBIt's so common, it's a meme. A feminine-presenting person joins a dating site, and suddenly hot dogs are thrown at them. Offer after offer pours in. It's just magic. And it's totally FREE!
Why I don't give blow jobs - a top 10 list
February 17, 2022 19:00 - 7 minutes - 3.64 MBThere are so many reasons I don't give blow jobs. I was thinking about it this morning, and thought I'd write them out, like a top ten.
Are you team ME or team WE?
February 16, 2022 13:00 - 8 minutes - 4.19 MBTeam ME: personal accountability and taking responsibility. Team WE: community responsibility for the safety of it's members. For me, it's team ME.
Can emotions be wrong?
February 14, 2022 13:38 - 10 minutes - 5.1 MBEmotions in my mind are simply feedback. They are not good or bad. They simply are.
What CAN matter: anything. What must matter: nothing.
February 11, 2022 14:48 - 4 minutes - 2.37 MBANYTHING can matter to someone. Nothing matters to everyone.
Lies, Damned Lies And Consent
February 10, 2022 19:00 - 13 minutes - 6.49 MBLies. I can't begin to say in one podcast everything I have to say about lies. They are both fascinating and abhorrent to me.
"The worst they can do is say no."
February 09, 2022 13:00 - 3 minutes - 1.82 MBSome say, "The worst they can do is say no." They're wrong, IMO.
Let them do what they wanna...
February 07, 2022 13:00 - 5 minutes - 2.44 MBDo you want a relationship where you can just do what you want? Is it possible?
Of COURSE they knew... </sarcasm>
February 04, 2022 13:00 - 6 minutes - 1.92 MBEveryone who attended a party or called them friends is assumed to have been part of the cover up. Because, "Well, of COURSE they knew..." Sure. OF COURSE.
I Do NOT Have The Libido Of A Man!
February 03, 2022 19:00 - 6 minutes - 3.03 MBIn one ancient Greek myth, Zeus and Hera argue about whether men or women enjoy sex more. They ask the prophet Tiresias, whom Hera had once transformed into a woman, to settle the debate. He answers, “if sexual pleasure were divided into ten parts, only one part would go to the man, and and nine parts to the woman.”
If dating feels like drudgery, I have some suggestions.
February 02, 2022 14:26 - 5 minutes - 2.48 MBI was dating to reach a specific OUTCOME. I was trying hard to project my best image. Every date was a chance to perform and win (or lose).
"I trust until they show me they can't be trusted."
January 31, 2022 13:00 - 5 minutes - 2.64 MBI act as if someone is trustworthy until they give me proof they are not. But I don't really TRUST them.
The Love of a Cuckold #CuckWeek
January 28, 2022 19:00 - 11 minutes - 5.56 MBWhen I was thinking about what I wanted to write for #CuckWeek, I couldn’t think of anything more amazing than the love of a cuckold to tell you about.
"I hear he only kinks with people he has sex with."
January 28, 2022 13:00 - 6 minutes - 2.95 MBSome people only kink without sex. Some people only kink with sex. Some people mix it up. There is no WON TWOO WAY to do this thing.
[The Most Amazing Non-Sex I’ve Ever Had]
January 27, 2022 19:45 - 10 minutes - 5.07 MBI'm not a woo-woo person, but I had this experience that made it clear that we don't yet really understand how humans (and sex) work, and it was AMAZING!
Don't feed the trolls!
January 26, 2022 13:00 - 4 minutes - 2.21 MB"It's a TROLL!" My answer, "So what?"
What is a pimptress?
January 24, 2022 13:00 - 6 minutes - 3.39 MBI am in control of my own sexuality. And I don't let anyone hold me down or take advantage of me, especially sexually.
When the sex dies...
January 21, 2022 13:00 - 12 minutes - 6.13 MBWhen a woman's libido slows down, and it's assumed it's slowing down because she is a woman, that stops inquiry and curiosity and possible solutions.
When MEN Don’t Want Sex
January 20, 2022 19:00 - 6 minutes - 3.29 MBA popular belief is that that women’s sex drive fails first or that women NATURALLY don't want sex, but that's not necessarily true.
A friend once asked me what being a dom was...
January 19, 2022 13:00 - 3 minutes - 1.64 MBIf I fail at everything else in my relationship, I will always make sure that I am direct, honest, and I make space for the people I relationship with to be the same.