Cracker Classics
266 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 months ago -Two guys review old "classic" movies to see if they're still good. Or maybe they weren't any good to begin with?
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Episodes
#129 - Marlon Brando's Objective Truth
October 07, 2022 06:00 - 37 minutes - 23.2 MBThe movie: Apocalypse Now (1979) Joshua and Ian go to war again and ponder the messiness of insanity and leadership. Also tattoos.
Do WHAT with a Chainsaw? ['80s Edition]
October 02, 2022 15:16 - 30 minutes - 20.1 MBThe movie: Heathers (1989) Ian and Joshua see how Winona Ryder stole the show before stealing other things.
#128 - Like Herding Cats
September 30, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 19.4 MBThe movie: To Catch a Thief (1955) Ian and Joshua go Hitchcock again and ponder the evils of Grace Kelly and tipping culture.
#127 - White and Fluffy
September 23, 2022 06:00 - 29 minutes - 17.9 MBThe movie: Cotton Comes to Harlem (1970) Joshua and Ian watch the allegedly-first blaxploitation film and hope for some gritty crime action and a lot of hilariously stereotyped white people.
#126 - What the Ham Saw
September 16, 2022 06:00 - 30 minutes - 17.6 MBThe movie: To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) Ian and Joshua watch the story of a little girl who occasionally dresses as pork products and the disturbing racist world through her eyes.
#125 - Stockholm Syndrome and the Glittery GPS Horse
September 09, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 21.7 MBThe movie: La Belle et la Bête (1946) Ian and Joshua watch this fancy Jean Cocteau classic and see if it lives up to modern Disney standards. Just how cursed is this beast? Are there still talking household items? Do a few other Disney films find their way through?
#124 - Trickle Down Family Dynamics
September 02, 2022 06:00 - 29 minutes - 18 MBThe movie: Chinatown (1974) Water scarcity is becoming a bleak reality and real estate might be to blame. Joshua and Ian watch this Jack Nicholson classic to see if there's anything we can do about it without getting John Huston involved.
Stop It, Mom, You're Embarrassing Me! ['80s Edition]
September 01, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 22.3 MBThe movie: Back to the Future (1985) Ian and Joshua watch this science-y classic and suffer some massive nostalgia. Also they point out all the science that's wrong with it.
#123 - Duck and Cover or: How I Learned to Love the Fluoridation of Bodily Fluids
August 26, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 20.7 MBThe movie: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb Nuclear war has unfortunately been in the news again recently, so Ian and Joshua watch this Kubrick classic to see how close we are to total annihilation.
#122 - Secretly Hoping For a Bing
August 19, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 20.3 MBThe movie: Road to Singapore (1940) Ian and Joshua check out one of those Bob Hope/Bing Crosby buddy travel movies and they just might regret it. They debate pregnancy references under the Hays Code and ponder the possibility of a secret love affair between these two sailors.
#121 - Greed About the Mouth and Eyes
August 12, 2022 06:23 - 33 minutes - 22 MBThe movie: House On Haunted Hill (1959) Craving some Vincent Price, Ian and Joshua strap in for a haunting thrill ride with some capitalism on the side. Do they get what they bargained for? Or is all just a bunch of strings and acid?
#120 - Underwear On the Outside
August 05, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 20.2 MBThe movie: Superman: The Movie (1978) Ian and Joshua fantasize about saving the world and being true Americans by watching an illegal alien finding himself in the scorched fields of Kansas. Plus there's a newpaper and an evil Gene Hackman.
Faking a Salad On the Side ['80s Edition]
August 02, 2022 05:36 - 32 minutes - 21.1 MBThe movie: When Harry Met Sally... (1989) Ian and Joshua explore relationships and Billy Crystal's humor level in the late '80s. Is it possible to just be friends with zero sexual attraction whatsoever?
#119 - Baby and the Tramp
July 29, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 21.1 MBThe movie: The Kid (1921) Joshua and Ian finally watch a Charlie Chaplin movie. They wind up discussing adoption, gangsters drawing guns on children, and the weird, incomplete Christian vein that runs through American society.
#118 - Shh...Just Let It Happen
July 22, 2022 06:00 - 31 minutes - 21.8 MBThe movie: Bringing Up Baby (1938) Joshua and Ian watch this screwball comedy involving a leopard and Cary Grant in glasses. Also there's money and some sort of story in there somewhere. Does it make any sense? Is it wise to analyze screwball comedy? Is Katherine Hepburn just stringing them along for the ride against their will?
#117 - Somerset Maugham Was Not a Lizard People
July 15, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 20.7 MBThe movie: The Razor's Edge (1946) Ian and Joshua watch this adaptation of W. Somerset Maugham's classic novel about a man who pursues the ideals of life and challenges society around him. Sounds like The Fountainhead. Is it going to be better, or just another march through Hell playing the Devil's game?
#116 - Let Me Give You My Pooka
July 08, 2022 06:00 - 31 minutes - 21.3 MBThe movie: Harvey (1950) Joshua and Ian discuss mental health and fitting into society as they watch this Jimmy Stewart classic. Can fantasy aid in being pleasant? And who's really the crazy one here? Is Harvey real or just a neat conceptHow are you, Mr. Wilson?
#115 - Headlights On Your Broom and Crowns On Your Back
July 01, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 20.3 MBThe movie: Playtime (1967) Ian and Joshua watch this Jacques Tati classic, knowing that it looks cool, but that's all they know. Will watching the movie provide more info?
Drag Your Way to Success ['80s Edition]
July 01, 2022 06:00 - 28 minutes - 18.1 MBThe movie: Tootsie (1982) Ian and Joshua look at ambition in the '80s and the hypocrisy of Dustin Hoffman trying to save his career.
#114 - Who's Afraid of Your Coping Mechanism?
June 24, 2022 06:00 - 26 minutes - 17.3 MBThe movie: Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1967) Ian and Joshua debate reality and how we all deal with it, with mixed results. Are we all garbage people? Or are we just doing the best we can with all the (gestures wildly)? Maybe it's just the alcohol...
#113 - The British Museum Plundered This Episode
June 17, 2022 06:00 - 30 minutes - 18.8 MBThe movie: The Mummy (1932) Joshua and Ian watch a horror classic and expect some screams and pre-Code gore. Instead they wind up discussing the hypocrisies of archaeology and the fine print to curses.
#112 - Mr. Hand and the Key Party
June 10, 2022 11:30 - 33 minutes - 19.8 MBThe movie: The Apartment (1960) Ian, and therefore the recording studio, has moved into an apartment, so it seemed fitting to watch this Billy Wilder classic. Expecting clever humor, we are blindsided with inflation and workplace trauma alongside the on-point wit.
I Gotta Gozer ['80s Edition]
June 01, 2022 14:48 - 29 minutes - 19.5 MBThe movie: Ghostbusters (1984) Joshua and Ian revisit childhood memories and debate Zuul and marshmallows as they watch this mysoginisitic '80s classic. How toxic was the workplace? Did the California Raisins rip off Slimer?
#111 - Bye Bye Birdbrains
May 27, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 22 MBThe movie: Bye Bye Birdie (1963) Ian and Joshua say goodbye to screaming teenagers and gold tights with this movie musical most likely made to not stand the test of time.
#110 - When Your Mom Is Just Practice
May 20, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 20.1 MBThe movie: The Graduate (1967) Ian and Joshua ponder cringe, lies, affluence, ennui, and scotch as they explore what it was like to have an affair before the internet.
#109 - The Confusing Handkerchief
May 13, 2022 06:00 - 30 minutes - 19.3 MBThe movie: Othello (1951) Ian and Joshua finally dive into Shakespeare and watch this Orson Welles interpretation of this classic tale of deception and manipulation. But is the lighting too much? Or is that just Orson's ego getting in the way?
#108 - Mad Hatter Smash or Pass
May 06, 2022 06:00 - 28 minutes - 17.3 MBThe movie: Alice in Wonderland (1951) It's time for Disney again, so Ian and Joshua try to obtain some drugs and indulge in some good old-fashioned Victorian nonsense. Did Walt do it justice? Or did he just traumatize it like everything else?
Kick the Rich Off the Boat ['80s Edition]
May 01, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 20.8 MBThe movie: Overboard (1987) One of the perks of being a patron is being able to suggest movies for us to do. One patron picked this classic comedy about class and amnesia, a childhood staple of Ian's. Joshua goes in blind and is rightly concerned about the amount of consent, or lack thereof. Support us by subscribing to our Patreon and you too can suggest a movie: https://www.patreon.com/crackerclassics
#107 - Never Accept a Baby From a Priest
April 29, 2022 06:00 - 31 minutes - 20.7 MBThe movie: The Omen (1976) Joshua and Ian discuss religion, politics, evil, and conspiracy. They all mysteriously intertwine in this '70s horror classic. But does that make it a good movie?
#106 - '60s Woke
April 22, 2022 06:00 - 31 minutes - 19.5 MBThe movie: The Party (1968) Joshua and Ian watch this '60s movie not knowing what they're in for, namely Peter Sellers as an Indian. They discuss party etiquette, foam, and onder how far we've come since then.
#105 - You Got to Know When to Grift 'Em
April 15, 2022 06:00 - 28 minutes - 18 MBThe movie: The Sting (1973) With a desire to learn new tricks, we watch this Newman/Redford classic and realize we probably should've bet on it.
#104 - The Five Grapes of Grief
April 08, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 19.2 MBThe movie: The Grapes of Wrath (1940) Joshua and Ian watch this depressing classic and ponder the meaning of work and government safety nets. They also hope for more grapes than wrath and a glimmer of better times on the horizon.
Richard Pryor Does a Capitalism ['80s Edition]
April 01, 2022 06:00 - 30 minutes - 19.3 MBThe movie: Brewster's Millions (1985) There's only about a million versions of this story and we've seen one so far. Now it's time to watch Joshua's favorite and get in some more John Candy.
#103 - General Backhand
April 01, 2022 06:00 - 29 minutes - 17.3 MBThe movie: Patton (1970) War and violence have been on the mind lately, so we watch this classic WWII film to see the glory of it all. Or is it the ego of it all?
#102 - That's One Spankin' Mai Tai
March 25, 2022 18:00 - 30 minutes - 19.6 MBThe movie: Blue Hawaii (1961) We've somehow gone this long without watching an Elvis movie, so we're solving that by watching this cringefest filled with pineapples, tight shorts, and a side of lust and honor. Is it worth the time?
#101 - Shut Up, Cord
March 18, 2022 06:00 - 31 minutes - 19.5 MBThe movie: Circle of Iron (1978) We revisit the world of kung fu and hope for some enlightenment. Does Joshua wind up hearing the flute? Can Ian settle his monkey mind? Or is Bruce Lee just rolling in his grave?
#100 - Cannoli Can End Wars
March 11, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 20.1 MBThe movie: The Godfather (1972) It's our 100th episode! We had to do a hyped epic, so we decided to watch a family struggle to keep their business and personal lives separate. Plus there's dessert.
The Eve of Our Discontent
March 04, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 19.9 MBThe movie: All About Eve (1950) Ian rewatches one of his favorite movies while exposing Joshua to it. Deception and ruthlessness are discussed, as is the enduring allure of Marilyn Monroe.
#99 - The Eve of Our Discontent
March 04, 2022 07:00 - 32 minutes - 19.9 MBThe movie: All About Eve (1950) Ian rewatches one of his favorite movies while exposing Joshua to it. Deception and ruthlessness are discussed, as is the enduring allure of Marilyn Monroe.
Guns For Naughty Children ['80s Edition]
March 01, 2022 07:00 - 30 minutes - 19.2 MBThe movie: A Christmas Story (1983) We examine this holiday classic and its appeal, if any. Also its positive impact to our cultural heritage, if any. But mainly, Joshua just wants to get it over with.
Coulda Been a Union Jesus
February 25, 2022 07:00 - 30 minutes - 17.8 MBThe movie: On the Waterfront (1954) We watch this Brando classic and ponder how far the labor movement has come. Or do we just wind up getting distracted?
#98 - Coulda Been a Union Jesus
February 25, 2022 07:00 - 30 minutes - 17.8 MBThe movie: On the Waterfront (1954) We watch this Brando classic and ponder how far the labor movement has come. Or do we just wind up getting distracted?
#97 - How to Marry a Senator
February 18, 2022 07:00 - 31 minutes - 19.4 MBThe movie: National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) In memory of Ivan Reitman, we watch this frat classic and feel bad. But also have fun? There some squickiness and lots of privilege to unpack.
How to Marry a Senator
February 18, 2022 07:00 - 31 minutes - 19.4 MBThe movie: National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) In memory of Ivan Reitman, we watch this frat classic and feel bad. But also have fun? There some squickiness and lots of privilege to unpack.
#96 - A Clockwork Fisting
February 11, 2022 07:00 - 34 minutes - 22 MBThe movie: Caligula (1979) We tackle the dichtomy of sex and story in the graphic unrated version of this Roman epic, courtesy of Penthouse. Will there be a story at all? Or will the gods make it all stop in the end?
A Clockwork Fisting
February 11, 2022 07:00 - 34 minutes - 22 MBThe movie: Caligula (1979) We tackle the dichtomy of sex and story in the graphic unrated version of this Roman epic, courtesy of Penthouse. Will there be a story at all? Or will the gods make it all stop in the end?
Only the Chocolate Is Good
February 04, 2022 07:00 - 30 minutes - 18.6 MBThe movie: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) We were going to watch "Caligula" but for various reasons decided on this tale of a creepy dictator of a strange isolated land full of slaves. But there's candy!
#95 - Only the Chocolate Is Good
February 04, 2022 07:00 - 30 minutes - 18.6 MBThe movie: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) We were going to watch "Caligula" but for various reasons decided on this tale of a creepy dictator of a strange isolated land full of slaves. But there's candy!
Rational Responses to Nutrasweet Niceness ['80s Edition]
February 01, 2022 07:00 - 31 minutes - 19.6 MBThe Movie: Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) To celebrate Thanksgiving, we go on a wild road trip and discover whom we truly care about. We also discuss the likelihood of surviving such disaster.
#94 - The Blue Flowered Wallpaper Metaphor
January 28, 2022 07:00 - 31 minutes - 19.2 MBThe movie: The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964) It's time for another movie not in English, so we go all French and ogle a bunch of color and rain. And singing, apparently. Will we fall irrationally in love and get into a bit of trouble? Or will we just go off to war?