Cool Parents (Not a Parenting Podcast!) artwork

Cool Parents (Not a Parenting Podcast!)

350 episodes - English - Latest episode: 4 days ago - ★★★★★ - 20 ratings

We're not parents, we're just a couple silly boys in a rock-n-roll band called Cool Parents. If you dig flawless comedy that's objectively "hysterical," this show is for you. If you want advice on how to be a mama or a pep pep, you should still listen to this show, but also see a licensed professional. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

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Episodes

132 - The First & Last Caveman: The Joe Rogan Experience

August 19, 2020 20:06 - 1 hour - 60.6 MB

This episode is brought to you by the letter "C" for caveman! The first ever caveman podcast was from the original caveman: Joe Rogan. Of course, this was way back in the times of the cavemans of Pangea. Wanna learn more about cavemans? We have a segment for that! We're also diving back into some senior yearbook quotes from 2003! Listen, come on, listeeennn! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcaste...

131 - Weaponized Horse Cleat

August 12, 2020 17:23 - 56 minutes - 51.8 MB

Humans should have horseshoes. It just makes sense.  Today we're looking at another wonderful Android game called Super Miami Girl: City Dog Crime and topping it all off with some Pervert Proverbs! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

130 - Amazing Spider Rope Frog Hero

August 05, 2020 19:52 - 1 hour - 57.7 MB

Amazing Spider frog is new fantastic Spider game. K? Fly like a flying hero with Iron Rope Hero and take down The Bad Gangster. Want to know more about Frog rope game? Listen to this episode. Other topics include: Bionic pee pee Green Banana Blue hole Worm cult Mud Church Moon harpies Seriously folks, you don't want to miss this one! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.co...

129 - "I'm Rocky Balboski, Punch My Meat"

July 29, 2020 18:09 - 1 hour - 67.5 MB

Justy Boy's taking the reigns for this one! Get ready for a journey through British slang and 2003 yearbook quotes in another instant classic episode of the Cool frickin' Parents Podcast. Warning: This episode contains monster erotica. Please be discrete, ok? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

129 - "I'm Rocky Balboski, Punch My Meat"

July 29, 2020 18:07

Justy Boy's taking the reigns for this one! Get ready for a journey through British slang and 2003 yearbook quotes in another instant classic episode of the Cool frickin' Parents Podcast. Warning: This episode contains monster erotica. Please be discrete, ok?

128 - Cotton Eye Puff (on VH2)

July 22, 2020 20:28 - 1 hour - 56.5 MB

The worst song ever written... but viewed through the eyes of a young Puff Daddy. Tough Guy Poetry featuring a band called Soil. A new musical genre called Mountain Funk. Lisa Loeb. All that and more on this installment of the Cool Parents Podcast! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

127 - Blood Lite

July 15, 2020 19:53 - 52 minutes - 48.8 MB

Did you think you could escape the BOPIS? You just can't, you'll have to learn to live with it. Learn to love the BOPIS. We're also taking some time to answer some of the internet's questions and to discuss Lil Wayne's big worm farm.

127 - Blood Light

July 15, 2020 19:53 - 52 minutes - 48.4 MB

Did you think you could escape the BOPIS? You just can't, you'll have to learn to live with it. Learn to love the BOPIS. We're also taking some time to answer some of the internet's questions and to discuss Lil Wayne's big worm farm. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

126 - BOPIS

July 08, 2020 21:18 - 59 minutes - 54.4 MB

Got a new ear worm for ya: BOPIS. It's a big deal. Trust me. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

125 - Jesus Was a Cucumber

July 01, 2020 21:17 - 1 hour - 62.7 MB

You like VeggieTales? Yeah? Then you'll love this podcast! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

124 - Frequent Squeegee

June 24, 2020 18:09 - 1 hour - 58.3 MB

New segment alert! It's called Squat Watch and we're perusing the darkest corners of the internet in search of muscle-related questions that need answering. So get that ass to the grass and tune in, people! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

123 - Mud Gargler

June 17, 2020 19:04 - 1 hour - 75.1 MB

I bet you didn't know that the Baha Men's "Who Let the Dogs Out?" is actually about female empowerment. That's a fact and we're totally here for it. Listen to the story and then listen to us answer your questions about gargling, hot dogs, and everything in between! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

122 - Nipple Wedgie

June 10, 2020 18:00 - 1 hour - 60 MB

FACT: The "G" in "G-string" does stand for GHOST. That's right, everybody, we back on our ghost shit! Hope you're happy. We sure are. Can't get enough ghost to be honest. We're also dipping our toes into some alien hell portal business, so... #GhostThong --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

121 - Spirit Fight: Extendo Stilettos

June 03, 2020 20:07 - 1 hour - 65.4 MB

Guess what, everybody. We're talkin' cryptids! Again! Except this time they're local to us here in New England. Ever seen a garden gnome come to life? Me neither, but I wouldn't really care to. And among other things, we're Making a Muscle Boy tonight, so expect bloodshed! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

120 - Bill Mudd

May 27, 2020 19:01 - 1 hour - 55.1 MB

You probably would like to know who Bill Mudd is... He's Brad Pitt's alter ego, so keep an eye out for Mr. William Bradley Mudd. WARNING: Contains much Sexy Boy. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

119 - My Grand Pappy's Mud Puddle

May 20, 2020 20:06 - 1 hour - 66.3 MB

Do you know the fascinating story behind Sisqó's timeless booty jam "Thong Song"? If not, prepare to have your mind straight up freaked!  We've also got some fresh as mud truck talk you will not want to miss. At one time, there were five fathers... until one was consumed by a mud puddle. Finally, we have a few Pervert Proverbs to discuss and some other odds n' ends. (We don't mean to get political or nothin'...) #UncutThongs --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.co...

118 - Broken Benjamin

May 13, 2020 18:16 - 57 minutes - 53 MB

Benjamin has been breaking for so long, it's time that boy breaks! Speaking of Sevendust, we're getting into some Tough Guy Poetry in this episode along with a brand new segment Don't Get Bent out of Snape. Don't miss it! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

117 - Knight Wiener

May 06, 2020 20:33 - 1 hour - 79.8 MB

You know it's a party when we got Olivia up in this here cluhhhh! We're talkin' truck (duh), bote (duh), and wieners (duh). We're also rebooting the COVID-19 virus and re-introducing the world to Tindergarten Cops! NOTE: May contain Wandy. Please be advised. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

116 - Hippopotapus

April 29, 2020 19:24 - 1 hour - 60.9 MB

What is a Hippopotapus? We can't say for sure, but it's probably some sort of hybrid creature on exhibit now at Owen Wilson's zoo! He bought a zoo, wow! In this episode, we're talkin' shit about a lot of things, starting with the obviously disingenuous ad campaigns exploiting the COVID-19 pandemic. It's more fun than it sounds... Also, you won't want to miss the latest Fred Durst update. It's a doozy! And I'd be remiss not to mention the triumphant return of beloved sex symbol Sexy Boy! ...

115 - The Tsunami Code

April 22, 2020 18:59 - 1 hour - 71.7 MB

We out here. We doin' our thang. Trucks, botes, and bootyholes await! And check out our new album wherever you stream music! bit.ly/streamwhocares --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

115 - The Tsunami Code

April 22, 2020 18:59

We out here. We doin' our thang. Trucks, botes, and bootyholes await! And check out our new album wherever you stream music! bit.ly/streamwhocares

114 - Big Loads Real Quick

April 15, 2020 18:46 - 1 hour - 59.5 MB

Talkin' shit about lil/big rappers, trucker slang, elitist chef culture, and some other stuff I can't remember right now. Who cares? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

"BOTE" by Shark Marvelous & J-Slicky

April 15, 2020 18:35 - 3 minutes - 3.53 MB

In honor of Bote Month, here's a new slappin' rap jam straight outta the yacht cluhhh. Hope your bote's got huuuuge subwoofers. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

113 - Horse Violence & The Doomsday Ghost Bote

April 08, 2020 16:38 - 1 hour - 55.8 MB

We're prepared for doomsday and we plan to bug out on the one and only Ghost Ship, star of the motion picture Ghost Ship. We're gonna solve a mystery as well: the infamous "My Way Murders." Also, be prepared for discussions regarding horse, truck, and of course BOTE. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

112 - Diesel Bath

April 01, 2020 17:07 - 1 hour - 66.4 MB

Every day is truck month, baby! Let's cover that white truck in mud and make that brown POP! Oh, and of course we gotta talk about ghost sex and Bigfoot a little bit. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

111 - Mystery Business

March 25, 2020 19:08 - 53 minutes - 48.7 MB

We have a new business and it takes place in the Mystery Truck. That's because it's TRUCK MONTH, we love mysteries, and we're the rap game Scooby Gang. Got it? First order of mystery business: what the heck happened to Akhenaten's mummy? Did Tom DeLonge buy it? What about his tummy? We can figure this one out, no problem. Not a problem at all. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/...

110 - The Deep Brown Crystal

March 18, 2020 20:48 - 1 hour - 75.6 MB

We're broadcasting live from our doomsday bunker and we're just having a blast down here! But be warned: the end of this episode contains a lengthy and graphic reading of a particularly horny bit of Ghost Adventures fan fiction. So bring a change of underpants. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

109 - Go Worm

March 11, 2020 18:32 - 1 hour - 60.4 MB

Have you ever gone worm? In the club or otherwise? Well maybe you should try, all them Tik Tok kids are doin' it. #goworm #mcflurby #kswiss --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

108 - Carbon Smeeker

March 04, 2020 20:42 - 1 hour - 71.7 MB

Curtis doesn't care much for wrestling. Justy Boy does. Who cares? Stick around after our little argument for a reading of eleven year old Curtis' school project: an enthralling story about an undercover alien boy in Boston called The "Experiment." And don't forget to check out the new Cool Parents single Crazy If True, available know on all major music streaming services! bit.ly/crazyiftrue --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Su...

107 - Future Ghosts

February 26, 2020 17:24 - 56 minutes - 51.6 MB

Strap in for a wild ride to the moon and back with Justy Boy and his friend Andre the Giant. Then we're bringing back Groff the Chain in what may be a display of Nick Groff's most... poetic work yet. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

106 - T'Wario McFlurby

February 19, 2020 19:17 - 1 hour - 61.6 MB

Ice cream has a new name and it's McFlurby. Listen to this episode for the return of a beloved O.G. segment: Tindergarten Cops! There are plenty of goofs to go around, bring your friends! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

105 - Truck

February 12, 2020 22:25 - 1 hour - 62.3 MB

I'll be honest, you're gonna love this one. Tons of truck talk. Also, stick around to the end to hear some very important phone calls! And don't forget to take our survey, the link is right on our home page: coolparents.co --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

104 - Fuzz Banjo

February 05, 2020 15:29 - 1 hour - 57.6 MB

When you think "fuzz banjo" what comes to mind? Is it a banjo plugged in to a fuzz pedal? Incorrect. It is not. It is something far cooler. Listen to find out! Also, don't forget to take our survey! You can find the link right on the front page of our website at coolparents.co! Thank you, slimers. And remember... Bernie Sanders cares deeply about your cock. <3 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcaste...

103 - Cyclopean Pesci

January 29, 2020 20:13 - 1 hour - 55.5 MB

What's it mean to pop one's pussy? You really wanna know? Well, listen to this show, you freak! We're also gonna tell you about each one of the Best Picture Oscar nominees' original concepts. You'll be surprised to hear they were quite different... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

102 - Hard Blood: Enter the Goid

January 22, 2020 17:49 - 52 minutes - 47.8 MB

Let's have a chat about Skull & Bones & drones! We've got some great mysteries in store for you on this episode, so let's solve 'em, k? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

101 - Dark Susan Rises

January 15, 2020 19:06 - 55 minutes - 50.6 MB

We're chatting about Gwyneth Paltrow's pussy candles, Air Buds, and (of course) Bigfoots! Also, The Book of 2 Chainz is back. Thank you for listening! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

100 - TOOK: The Untimely Disappearance of Sexy Boy Justy Boy

January 08, 2020 17:51 - 1 hour - 81.9 MB

Justy Boy has gone missing. Can Curtis peel back the layers of a seedy New England criminal underworld and uncover the vast conspiracy that's concealing his whereabouts? The truth will shock you... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

Best Goofs! (Ep. 20 - 90)

December 31, 2019 19:50 - 1 hour - 62.1 MB

Here are some of our favorite goofs spanning from episode 20 up to 90. Enjoy! See you next week for our extra special 100th episode! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

99 - The Ufoglyist Pageant

December 26, 2019 22:34 - 1 hour - 56.1 MB

"I got 99 episodes and this is one. Hit me."   -J.Z. Olivia pays us a visit to cover a topic we're all wild about: CRYPTID SMUT! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

98 - Goof Dad Begins

December 18, 2019 21:55 - 1 hour - 64.4 MB

A wild Goof Dad appears! Listen to our first Goof Dad brainstorming session and prepare for an emotional roller coaster. The guy just cannot stop goofing... and he's a judge! Later, we take a look at some interesting Tinder profiles in a brand new edition of Tindergarten Cops! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

97 - The Blueberry Enigma

December 11, 2019 21:39 - 1 hour - 59.7 MB

Chuck Biscuits played drums for Danzig. That's just a fun fact for you folks. Also, is Kid Rock actually a misunderstood genius? Nope. He fully sucks shit. Wanna know why? Listen to our dang show! Luv u <3 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

96 - Shrimp Criminal

December 04, 2019 20:45 - 1 hour - 68.8 MB

The Bible is a little out-dated, let's just face it... It's time for a reboot! Listen as we plan our own take on the "Good Book" with a hip new all-star cast! Also discussed: electric RipStiks, butt-chugging sunlight, Kid Rock, and a masturbating ghost ape. Have fun! #rebootthebible --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

95 - Punk Suck

November 27, 2019 19:30 - 1 hour - 59.5 MB

Confused by the title of this here episode? We are too. Help us figure it out, please. We got Tough Guy Poetry, Pervert Proverbs, and a brand new segment called Fittin' Pipes here for you folks! Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

94 - Web to Web

November 20, 2019 21:48 - 1 hour - 89.3 MB

We're joined once again by Warren (AKA W.C. Brigham) to discuss Valomilk candy, Twilight tote bags, idioms, and how "real" men shake hands. Then we dive into some Tindergarten Cops! What we find may shock you... but it most likely will not. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

93 - The Dart Cobra in "Operation Eyeball Tattoo"

November 13, 2019 19:06 - 1 hour - 59.3 MB

This may be the most outrageous Making a Muscle Boy this world has ever witnessed. We're talkin' snake creatures and the long-awaited return of the Neck! Also, Justy Boy presents an... interesting conspiracy theory regarding John Lennon's death. Hint: it involves Stephen King? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

92 - Mo' Ghost, Mo' Problems

November 06, 2019 23:18 - 1 hour - 59.5 MB

This week, we're doing a little experiment! We're watching and commenting on the Ghost Adventures Halloween special: "Curse of the Harrisville Farmhouse" in which Zak and the gang investigate the house that inspired that Conjuring picture. [Ghost Adventures is property of Travel Channel. Any audio excerpts presented in this podcast are used under fair use for critique/parody.] --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast:...

"Smorgasbord of Orbs" by Cool Parents

October 31, 2019 19:23 - 2 minutes - 2.06 MB

Happy Heckoween everybody! Here's a track about hunting GHOST from our upcoming full-length album Who Cares? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

91 - Born Nasty

October 30, 2019 15:30 - 57 minutes - 52.6 MB

The return of Mad Lips! Also some chit-chat about ghosts, mummies, demons, and deep sea lake tortoises. Real spooky stuff. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support

90 - Sasquatch Your Back

October 23, 2019 20:38 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

Folks, we have a banger on our hands here. We're talking 'squatch and Missouri's Bigfoot, Momo! We've also got some Pervert Proverbs for ya, along with a couple additions to our newest segment Butter Man. Listen for the premiere of a brand new Cool Parents track, "I Got Eaten by a Bigfoot," off our upcoming album Who Cares? Thanks for listening! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/po...

Bonus Episode: Butter Man

October 21, 2019 17:40 - 24 minutes - 22.5 MB

Here's a quick introduction to a brand new unnamed segment in which we discuss misheard song lyrics! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cool-parents/support