Episode 19: Communicating with your partner with Dr. John Crossen

Problems and communication occur with every single romantic relationship. The good news is that you’re not alone. The Gottman Institute even deems poor communication in relationships a “standard perpetual problem.” Dr. John Crossen, a certified masters Gottman therapist, has been involved in this research at the institute for years. 

In this episode, we discuss the standard perpetual problems that every couple faces. Dr. Crossen also shares the things we do in our relationships that lead to divorce or separation, according to research—known as the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Don’t worry, we will also discuss the tools for repairing these issues.

This episode answers questions you may have about your relationship, but are perhaps too afraid to ask about or share with others. Give this episode a listen if you have ever wondered if your relationship would last—Dr. Crossen will share research based evidence to help answer this question. 

Key takeaways

The work he’s doing and what he’s focusing onWhat the Gottman Institute is all aboutThe four communication dysfunctionsWhat attunement is all about and why it’s importantBreak down of the four communication dysfunctionsExamples of contemptWhat the standard perpetual problems areHow emotional mismatch plays out in a healthy and unhealthy relationshipsHow people should act when a mismatch occursHow to calm yourself down when you’re floodedHis last thoughts on communication between couples

Link
The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com/

Dr. John Crossen Bio
Dr. John “Jack” Crossen completed his doctorate specializing in Clinical Psychology at the University of New Mexico in 1985.  Next, at Oregon Health & Science University he completed two post-doctoral years as Chief Resident in Medical Psychology.  Since then as an OHSU faculty member he has taught classes, led behavioral health services for students, published research, and provided clinical services in collaboration with primary care providers and specialists. He was named Fellow of the National Academy of Clinical Neuropsychology in 2008 for his research contributions and clinical services. He continues to co-lead Balint groups in the Department of Family Medicine. 

He became a certified Gottman couple’s therapist in 2008 and soon after was certified to offer both Art and Science of Love and Seven Principles workshops for couples. He presented Grand Rounds at OHSU on Medical Marriages and Gottman Couple Therapy. Since 2015 he has been a Master Trainer for therapists in all levels of Gottman therapy. He continues to participate in research and innovations sponsored by The Gottman Institute. With deep connections to OHSU, he has a special bond with couples working in health care, biomedical research and teaching. More about his work with couples is found at his website, Couplesdoingbetter.com.