Ask a Christian Counselor
123 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 116 ratingsTres Adames is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and the Director of Arizona Christian Counseling in Phoenix, Arizona. Tres discusses topics on growing deeper spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally, and seeks to help others grow closer in their relationship with God and other people. Visit the website at: http://www.askachristiancounselor.net
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Episodes
Biblical Counseling Basics: 2 - Ways to Use the Bible
June 26, 2018 09:00 - 8 minutes - 15.1 MBThis episode is part 2 of 5. We talk about three different ways biblical truth can be shared with counselees in biblical counseling. Download notes here. Want to learn more? Check out The Biblical Counseling Master Course. Enter 50OFF for a $50 discount.
Biblical Counseling Basics: 1 - Your Approach
June 25, 2018 09:00 - 9 minutes - 16.6 MBThis episode is part 1 of 5. We talk about assessing the biblical literacy of your counselee in one-on-one counseling. Download notes here. Want to learn more? Check out The Biblical Counseling Master Course. Enter 50OFF for a $50 discount.
Career and Calling
April 26, 2018 20:57 - 20 minutes - 38.4 MBIn this episode, Tres addresses a listener's questions around finding a career and living out God's calling on your life. He also discusses how to base your self-esteem in Christ rather than income, image, or status. Suggested Resources: Book: 48 Days to the Work You Love 48 Days Podcast Need to find a counselor? Try Christiancounselornearme.com Have a question for the podcast? Tweet us: @TresAdames.
What is Pastoral Counseling?
March 15, 2018 00:34 - 45 minutes - 83.7 MBThis episode features a roundtable discussion with leaders of AAPC (the American Association of Pastoral Counselors) on the topic of pastoral counseling. To learn more, go to: www.aapc.org
Responding to a Narcisssist
February 15, 2018 23:55 - 21 minutes - 38.8 MBIn this episode, we discuss how those in relationships with a narcissist can respond appropriate while taking care of themselves. We explain narcissism from a biblical perspective and discuss practical ways that those in abusive relationships can move on and heal. Resources Mentioned Narcissism from a Biblical Perspective (Blog and Podcast Episode) Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend The Christian's Guide to No Cont...
Falling in Love Again
February 07, 2018 23:08 - 22 minutes - 42 MBIn this episode, we discuss how married couples can rekindle the flame and feel more connected. Often it's easy to feel love when we are first in a relationship, but what to do when the feeling fades and resentment threatens to extinguish the spark? We discuss how to address negative cycles and establish more healthy ones that invite connection. Resources Mentioned: Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud/Townsend Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson For Men Only and For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhah...
Preparing to Become a Counselor
January 31, 2018 21:55 - 20 minutes - 37.2 MBIn this episode, we discuss the character qualities and skills that are helpful to those considering becoming a Christian counselor, pastor, or ministry leader. Resources Mentioned: Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud Christian Counselor Near Me, a new counselor directory 4 Signs You are Called to Christian Counseling Arizona Christian Counseling Academy, courses in biblical counseling The Biblical Counseling Master Course
Wisdom for Dating
January 25, 2018 00:36 - 23 minutes - 43.1 MBIn this episode, Tres tackles some controversial opinions around Christians and dating. He provides some practical suggestions as well as a step-by-step guide for discerning what to look for in a future spouse. Resources Mentioned Wisdom for Dating Worksheet Joshua Harris' Ted Talk: Strong Enough to Be Wrong Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Stigma and Mental Illness
January 18, 2018 00:19 - 23 minutes - 43 MBIn this episode, we discuss stigma and victim-blaming around those who struggle with mental illness. We discuss how to show compassion from a biblical perspective. Resources mentioned: Hope for Mental Health, Saddleback Church The Biblical Counseling Master Course Christian Counselor Near Me, an upcoming Christian counseling directory.
Breaking the Silence
January 11, 2018 01:14 - 17 minutes - 31.9 MBIn this special episode, we discuss the epidemic of sexual assault not only in our culture but in the local church. We discuss what real redemption looks like while advocating for victims of sexual assault. Resources Mentioned: Previous episode: Finding Healing from Sexual Abuse, an interview with Randy Boyd who shares his story about healing from the trauma of sexual abuse. Mere Objects an art project by Sarah Jane giving a voice to victims of sexual violence.
Slowing Down
January 03, 2018 23:28 - 17 minutes - 32.3 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses the importance of embracing gratitude, slowing down, and choosing contentment over remaining busy.
What It Means to Be Happy
November 29, 2017 22:58 - 23 minutes - 42.4 MBIn this episode, we discuss what it really means to experience happiness. We look to philosophy and theology and ask: Is happiness just mere pleasure or good feeling? Or is there a deeper explanation of what it means to find lasting satisfaction and fulfillment? Bibliography Adler, Mortimer. Aristotle's Ethics - Book I: The Theory of Happiness. Encyclopaedia Britannica Films, 1962. Adler, Mortimer J. “Happiness and Contentment.” Ten Philosophical Mistakes, Touchstone, 1985. Aristotle....
Pregnancy and Infant Loss
October 15, 2017 04:41 - 24 minutes - 45 MBIn this special episode, Tres interviews Randy and Gina Weeks who share the story of how they lost their first child together. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month. Randy and Gina's story provides insight on coping through losing a child, and how you can be a help to those who are grieving. Randy and Gina Weeks reside in Phoenix, Arizona with their three children, Katelyn, Hannah, and Josh. Randy is a locally licensed minister in the Church of the Nazarene, and Gina is a ...
Starting a Christian Counseling Practice
September 01, 2017 21:43 - 27 minutes - 50.6 MBIn this episode, Tres shares the story of how Arizona Christian Counseling came to be. He also shares resources for counselors who also want to launch their own Christian counseling private practice. A rundown of this episode: 0:27 - It’s our 5th anniversary! 1:40 - The Biblical Counseling Course 2:42 - The future of the podcast 5:15 - Why I’m recording from home again 5:36 - The story of Arizona Christian Counseling 10:11 - Two kinds of Christian counselors 11:07 - Disclaimer ...
Rebuilding Trust
July 24, 2017 04:22 - 20 minutes - 27.5 MBIn this episode, Tres describes how we can rebuild trust after it has been broken. He talks about how forgiveness and trust intersect, and the process a couple can take as they recover from a major breach of trust. A rundown of this episode: 0:03 - New music for the intro! 0:20 - More recordings on the field in future episodes. 2:09 - Relax to the sounds of an Arizona monsoon rainstorm. 2:56 - The 5th anniversary of the podcast is coming soon. 5:10 - How the issue of trust comes ...
Getting the Most Out of Couples Counseling
May 24, 2017 22:37 - 19 minutes - 27 MBIn this episode, Tres gives some practical considerations for those who are interested in starting couples therapy.
Insight for New Relationships
April 27, 2017 23:39 - 29 minutes - 41.2 MBIn this episode, Tres shares some of the insight he's gained from counseling hundreds of couples during the first few years of their relationship.
Prayer Journaling
March 31, 2017 00:26 - 22 minutes - 31.5 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses his favorite tool for personal and spiritual growth. After explaining the purpose of prayer from a biblical perspective, Tres outlines a practical and powerful way to start your own prayer journal so you can connect deeper with God.
Biblical Counseling
February 16, 2017 23:36 - 22 minutes - 30.9 MBIn this episode, Tres shares the first lesson in the Biblical Counseling Master Course. He discusses the difference between clinical vs. biblical counseling, as well as various approaches in using the Bible to counsel others.
Practical Spirituality
February 02, 2017 10:00 - 25 minutes - 23.2 MBIn this episode, we discuss how Christian spirituality is intended to be useable, authentic, and practical. We go over a few listener questions that address shame, forgiveness, redemption, and discerning the will of God in our lives.
Christian Coaching
January 12, 2017 23:58 - 25 minutes - 22.9 MBIn this episode, we interview Jennie Turton of The Christian Coaching School about life coaching. If you are interested in becoming a coach, or getting coached yourself, Jennie shares the philosophy of coaching and how faith is integrated in the process.
Surviving the Holidays
December 01, 2016 05:00 - 19 minutes - 17.5 MBChristmas can be a challenging time of year for those struggling with depression, grief, disappointment, and complicated family situations. In this podcast, we discuss how to deal with these situations and approach the holiday season with a new perspective and the ultimate hope found in Christ.
Boundaries in Relationships
November 17, 2016 11:00 - 18 minutes - 16.7 MBIn this episode, we discuss how to set boundaries in a romantic relationship. We talk about red flags that come up when a couple becomes too enmeshed, and how to use boundaries to strengthen relationships.
How to Find a Christian Counselor
November 10, 2016 11:00 - 20 minutes - 18.4 MBIn this episode, we discuss certain things to look for when you are seeking the help of a Christian counselor. We go over specific questions to ask and ways to inquire about a counselor's training, approach, and worldview.
Setting Boundaries
November 03, 2016 10:00 - 19 minutes - 18 MBIn this episode, we discuss how to set boundaries with those we love. We talk about the biblical foundation of boundaries and go over a step-by-step process for setting boundaries with loved ones.
What It Means to Be Free
October 27, 2016 10:00 - 27 minutes - 25.1 MBIn this episode, Tres preaches on Christian freedom. He gives specific examples on how those caught in cycles of defeat can find freedom through the grace and empowerment of Christ.
Spiritual Abuse
October 20, 2016 10:00 - 24 minutes - 22.8 MBIn this episode, we discuss spiritual pride and the emotional abuse that can stem from it. We go over the signs of spiritual abuse and how to recognize an emotionally healthy church and leadership.
Relief from Stress and Anxiety
October 13, 2016 10:00 - 22 minutes - 20.2 MBIn this episode, we discuss practical methods to relieve stress. Work can be viewed as "breathing out," so we talk about specific ways to "breathe in" to find restoration and Sabbath rest.
Narcissism
October 06, 2016 10:00 - 20 minutes - 37.8 MBHow can we understand narcissism from a biblical perspective? We all deal with self-absorption and narcissistic tendencies, but Narcissistic Personality Disorder runs deeper. We discuss how such a person can change, and how to understand someone who is narcissistic.
Separation and Reconciliation
September 29, 2016 10:00 - 19 minutes - 43.6 MBIs there hope after a marital separation? In this episode, we discuss how couples can reconcile and save a marriage that is on the rocks. We go over some practical insights to consider if you are currently separated from your spouse but seeking reconciliation.
Uprooting Bitterness
September 22, 2016 10:00 - 18 minutes - 43.1 MBIn this episode, we describe bitterness as "fossilized anger" and discuss the effects that resentment can have on a person, as well as whole communities. We go over some practical strategies that someone can utilize when they are trying to heal from unresolved resentment from the past.
Finding Healing from Sexual Abuse
August 27, 2016 00:05 - 30 minutes - 41.7 MBIn this special episode, Tres interviews Randy Boyd, author of Healing the Man Within: Hope for Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Randy shares his own story of healing from the trauma of sexual abuse, and offers hope for those who are looking for the same healing. You can find Randy's book here and can learn more about his life coaching practice on his website.
From Shame to Grace
July 22, 2016 16:21 - 29 minutes - 6.76 MBIt's easy to think of grace as something that happens when someone first comes to Christ, but in reality, is meant to be received through the rest of one's life journey. In this episode, Tres discusses how many believers still struggle with shame, but how God calls each of us into His grace for the entirety of our journey with Him.
Pastors and Burnout
June 30, 2016 21:40 - 40 minutes - 9.37 MB1,500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to burnout, conflict, or moral failure. In this episode, Tres give practical strategies on how to prevent burnout. Even if you aren't a pastor, this message discusses the importance of knowing about the pressures they face and how to support them.
How Should We View Medication?
May 20, 2016 01:20 - 20 minutes - 4.74 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses how using medication in one's recovery is not unspiritual. He discuss the stigma around mental illness, and advocates for grace and understanding for those who struggle with mental health needs.
Shame and Sexual Addiction
April 27, 2016 00:08 - 30 minutes - 41.3 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses unhealthy and healthy sexuality. He confronts the issue of pornography addiction, emphasizing how shame keeps us locked in bondage.
Lay Counseling in the Local Church
March 23, 2016 20:15 - 32 minutes - 44.7 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses how the local church can provide care to those who are hurting. All Christians are called to minister and the body of Christ is meant to build itself up in love and discipleship. The book referenced is Coffee Cup Counseling.
Relationships in Conflict
February 29, 2016 22:24 - 32 minutes - 44.9 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses how to approach marital and family relationships that are in conflict. He talks about settings boundaries, communication, and the difference between forgiveness and trust.
Theology and Counseling
January 29, 2016 21:35 - 32 minutes - 44 MBIn this episode, Tres does a crash course of theological topics and how they relate to everyday issues we all struggle with.
Finding Grace in Imperfection
December 22, 2015 22:31 - 43 minutes - 59.7 MBWe all struggle with perfectionism on one level or another. In this episode, Tres discusses how we often measure ourselves against an impossible standard, whether from the world around us or in our ideas about our spirituality. He then gives positive and practical insight on how we can let go of perfectionism and walk toward God's grace.
Understanding Mental Illness
December 01, 2015 02:00 - 24 minutes - 34.2 MBMany struggle with understanding how mental illness and spirituality connect. In this episode, Tres discusses how we can understand mental illness theologically and compassionately respond to those who struggle.
Movie Therapy
October 31, 2015 22:30 - 36 minutes - 50.4 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses how movies, and the stories they contain, can help us cope and even grow. He gives his top ten list of movies he regularly prescribes to clients struggling with various issues.
What Makes Counseling Christian?
September 30, 2015 01:10 - 25 minutes - 35.7 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses Christian counseling itself, mainly what defines counseling as Christian? He talks about the integration of biblical principles in the counseling process, and how he approaches clients who don't share the same worldview.
Getting Anger Under Control
August 28, 2015 22:28 - 31 minutes - 43.2 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses how anger itself is not a sin, but can easily become sinful when out of control. He gives some biblical insight, then outlines practical strategies for processing and expressing anger in a healthy manner.
Dealing with Toxic People
July 21, 2015 20:20 - 31 minutes - 42.6 MBIn this episode, Tres discusses how to approach and interact with toxic people—those who are critical, manipulative, and destructive in the way they relate with others.
The Most Important Thing You Can Do for Your Marriage
June 17, 2015 01:08 - 33 minutes - 45.4 MBIn this episode, Tres shares what he's learned from working with couples in counseling. He dives deep into many elements that make a marriage work, and addresses some often overlooked factors. The online courses mentioned can be found here.
Discovering Your Personality
May 20, 2015 00:26 - 30 minutes - 41.2 MBHow well do you know yourself? In this episode, Tres discusses the DISC profile which describes four basic temperaments. Identifying your personality style can help you learn more about yourself and how you relate to others at home, at church, and in the workplace.
Finding Happiness
April 07, 2015 22:43 - 35 minutes - 48.8 MBWhether someone is struggling with depression, anxiety, addiction, or relationship problems, the thing everyone desires is to be happy. In this episode, Tres discusses how to find true happiness regardless of circumstances.
Hope in the Night
March 25, 2015 20:40 - 27 minutes - 37.7 MBIn this special message, Tres describe healthy and unhealthy ways to grieve. He then discusses the hope of heaven and how we can have the assurance of being with the Lord when we pass on.
Hope and Healing for Addiction
February 24, 2015 02:07 - 34 minutes - 47.7 MBTres interviews Eddie Fisher, the founder and director of Cross Stitched, a ministry dedicated to helping men overcome addiction. Eddie shares his own story of recovery and gives practical advice to those struggling and affected by addiction.