American Wannabes Podcast

Episode 43 - Jerry Got Dumped

November 27, 2017 22:42 - 50 minutes - 69.5 MB

The guys recap Thanksgiving and Christian's "Friendsgiving" which Jesus doesn't understand and Jerry thinks sounds like a reality TV reunion show. Then they reminisce about their sexual conquests. Jerry with teachers and parents of kids at the school where he worked; Jesus with two girls at the same party; and Christian having a chick he didn't know ask him to make out. They discuss Jerry getting dumped and debating whether or not he has ever cried over a girl. Jesus tells the most e...

Episode 42 - Every Thanksgiving I Invite One Of My Baby Mamas

November 20, 2017 23:45 - 48 minutes - 66.9 MB

The Wannabes just filmed for HBO Latino and their own project but Christian was nervous and couldn't remember his lines. Jerry wants to quit the podcast every week and the guys try explain why he shouldn't. Jesus doesn't know what "forefathers" or "pilgrims" means. Plus, the guys talk Mexican vs. American Thanksgiving, take a quiz to see how American they are, and go deep into Jerry's previous compulsive gambling. They finish off with a little heartfelt list of what they are than...

Episode 41 - This Guy's Probably Just Jerking Off His Monkey

November 14, 2017 00:18 - 43 minutes - 60.5 MB

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian throw shout-outs to listeners. Jerry talks Jesus into driving to see him in Vegas because he was already "half way there" which turned out to be over 2 1/2 hours away. They decline to discuss their antics except to say that they got wasted, played footsies in bed, and both barfed on the way home. The guys discuss Louis CK and Jesus thinks his behavior is "normal" for someone rich and famous. Christian breaks out the "perfect date" questions and stumps the...

Episode 40 - Have You Ever Had A Weinstein Moment?

November 06, 2017 21:36 - 51 minutes - 71.4 MB

Jerry is either recovering from the flu or a depression from the Dodgers losing the World Series. He's currently four bobbleheads in debt. Jesus and Jerry argue over mass shootings and whether or not you're safe in the ghetto. In a dangerous world, only Christian would protect the women and children. Plus, a five sentence review of the entire Game Of Thrones Series, Jesus un-friending a Stranger Things cast member, and Christian leading on Kevin Spacey for a role. And most importantly...

Episode 39 - Fresh Out Of The Coyote's Trunk

October 30, 2017 08:00 - 54 minutes - 75.7 MB

It's the Halloween episode! The guys talk about favorite candies and costumes. Jerry walks his ass off during Halloween for the kids but taking them out in his hometown of HP was a mistake, unless you like dogs and angry people. The guys recount their worst Halloween experiences. Candy gets stolen, people get egged, and somebody gets white-faced. Christian regrets saying he had swamp ass and other terrifying tales from the Wannabes. Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google ...

Episode 38 - Farts And F*cking

October 23, 2017 08:00 - 46 minutes - 64.4 MB

Jesus and Christian kick it off with Christian's anniversary trip which involved mostly f*cking and farting. Jesus admits to shitting himself more as an adult than he did as a child and Christian wipes once a day whether he needs it or not. They trash talk Jerry's selfie game and then he calls in from Mexico where he's king of the village, handing out clothes to the locals. Plus, he "runs the light" talking about his beloved Dodgers for way too long. It's an international episode from ...

Episode 37 - I Don't See Color Bro

October 16, 2017 08:00 - 49 minutes - 68.4 MB

Jerry joins the Latin Kings Of Comedy, Jesus opens for Chingo Bling, and Christian performs in Riverside with people sitting on the stage. The guys discuss getting threatened/befriended by cholos at their shows, the Rock dissing Tyrese, Eminem dissing Trump, and Game Of Thrones. Plus, with the big Harvey Weinstein scandal they ponder what they'd do for a big movie role. Find out which Wannabe would give a HJ for his big break! All this and much more. Please subscribe on iTunes Sti...

Episode 36 - I Used To Grind On Teddy Bears

October 09, 2017 20:52 - 45 minutes - 63.4 MB

Midnight misses his flight and returns for round 2 with Jerry, Jesus, and Christian. Christian celebrates his anniversary this week while Jerry admits that he was faded at Christian's wedding. Jesus finally found the garter he caught all this talk makes Midnight want to get married. Plus, Jerry doesn't remember some of the girls he slept with, Jesus used to grind on teddy bears, and Midnight serenades the Wannabes! All this and much more. Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Go...

Episode 35 - Did Hugh Hefner Have A Huge Penis?

October 04, 2017 22:51 - 41 minutes - 57.6 MB

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian welcome their good friend Midnight to the show. The guys start off in a somber mood discussing the tragic event in Las Vegas. They switch up to discuss the passing of Hugh Hefner and ponder whether he had a huge penis. Then, Christian's first road gig, Jesus plans to get fat when he's successful, and Jerry becomes a king. Plus, how old was Midnight before he realized he was Mexican? All this and much more. Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or...

Episode 34 - Royalty T*tties

September 25, 2017 08:00 - 49 minutes - 68.1 MB

The Wannabes go hard at Kevin Hart who "made the block hot" for guys by getting caught cheating. Jesus thinks ballers should only cheat with baller chicks, Jerry anonymously "outs" a friend who cheats, and Christian sticks with his "good guy" image by explaining how his wife's ring was the biggest purchase of his life. Plus, Canelo vs. GGG, Jerry's gray hairs, natural disasters in Mexico, Houston, FL, and Puerto Rico, and who wouldn't survive the zombie apocalypse. Please subscribe on ...

Episode 33 - If It Wasn't For Chucklef*ckers I'd Never Get Laid

September 18, 2017 08:00 - 33 minutes - 46.9 MB

Christian doesn't like Jesus's "3rd leg" but is really into bush right now. Jesus got recognized as "Big Dick Daddy". Jerry would rather cheat than have a threesome. Plus, the guys go deep on what men really want, the definition of cheating, if it's okay to text with your exes, number of sex partners, and lying. Fun for the whole familia! Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, or any podcast app! American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garc...

Episode 32 - Male Nudity Is Coming Back In a Big Way

September 11, 2017 08:00 - 40 minutes - 56 MB

The guys dig into Trump, the end to DACA, and what they'd each to in Mexico if they got deported. Jerry and Jesus get into a huge argument over the spoiling of Game Of Thrones. Christian's favorite character from Narcos is "gangster" for "making out with dudes". Jerry would do a gay scene to be in Narcos 4. Plus, checking out chicks when you're with your girl, 7 Signs That You're Gay, and what's really important in a relationship! Please subscribe on iTunes Stitcher, Google Play, ...

Episode 31 - Blow Job Raffle

September 05, 2017 08:00 - 48 minutes - 66.6 MB

The guys thank their first "sponsor" then take a dive right into the Mayweather vs McGregor fight. Jerry thinks it was scripted and Jesus admits that he hates UFC because his ex cheated on him with an MMA fighter. Jesus shares a harrowing tale of taking the bus from AZ to CA including drug addicts, homeless people, mean security guards, and a very scary tiny cholo. Things take a turn when Jerry brags about winning raffles at bachelor parties and showering with a stripper. Christian spe...

Episode 30 - Can You Name All 52 States?

August 28, 2017 19:15 - 54 minutes - 75.6 MB

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian wonder how many states America has and if it's okay to fat shame? Jerry things he's more famous than he is, Jesus thinks he's better looking than he is, and Christian thinks he has a keen sense of style. Plus, Raul the intern "guests" and the guys do flashback Friday! Please subscribe on iTunes and follow on Facebook! American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Episode 29 - I Trust All My Baby Mamas

August 21, 2017 05:00 - 35 minutes - 49.2 MB

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian are happy to be alive with the coming war with North Korea. Which Wannabe thinks Vietnam is in another country? Who thought Nagasaki was a drink? And why is Jerry keeping up with heartthrob Josh Hartnett's career? Plus, find out who's smarter when Jerry and Jesus go head-to-head in a game show hosted by Christian. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow on Facebook! American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, ...

Episode 28 - Jerry Goes To A Donkey Show

August 14, 2017 08:00 - 31 minutes - 43.5 MB

Christian's gaggle of kidney stones prompts a debate on whether or not childbirth is actually painful. Jerry admits to killing a pigeon and explains donkey shows to the group. Jesus decides how broke he'd have to be to f*ck a donkey. Plus, road rage, a Furries convention, and the possibility of war! Please subscribe on iTunes and follow on Facebook! American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Episode 27 - For A Girl She's Actually Pretty Smart

August 07, 2017 09:00 - 48 minutes - 66.8 MB

Jerry almost cries over his baseball team and explains why he feels safer with he's with black people. Jesus gives the real scoop on his uncle Cumbia and what he thinks about being talked about on Netflix. Christian get an "epidural" and comes back from the dead. Plus, listener shout-outs and questions answered including: Who's the diva of the Wannabes? What do they regret talking about on the show? Why aren't episodes longer? And more! Please subscribe on iTunes and follow ...

Episode 26 - I Literally Ate A Dick

July 31, 2017 21:47 - 42 minutes - 58.3 MB

Jesus gets mobbed at a festival performing with Chingo Bling and has his "Selena moment". Jerry "literally ate a dick" over the weekend. "Christian got hands" and breaks bad but is scared shitless. Plus, how bombing effects their moods, tipping over a vendors food cart, and listener shout outs. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow on Facebook! American Wannabes is a Latino comedy podcast featuring comics Jerry Garcia, Jesus Sepulveda, and Christian Zaragoza.

Episode 25 - Ugly Women Do Not Have STD's

July 24, 2017 21:12 - 47 minutes - 65.5 MB

The Wannabes answer some of the most pressing questions of our times. Would you sleep with a hot chick even if you know she had STD's? Why can't you die of AIDS anymore? Who is the Beyonce, who is the Kelly Rowland, and who is the "that other chick" of the American Wannabes? Was R. Kelly the soundtrack of your childhood? Please subscribe on iTunes and follow on Facebook!

Episode 24 - I've Never Had An Orgasmic Sh*t

July 17, 2017 23:36 - 40 minutes - 56.2 MB

The fellas discuss the big match ups of Mayweather vs McGregor and Game Of Thrones vs Breaking Bad vs The Wire. Then both Jerry and Jesus talk about their fond sexual memories of teachers while Christian has to explain being born gay. They all (mostly) deny liking butt stuff and argue over whether R Kelly is a cult leader and if being "kept" by him is all that bad. Plus, getting famous so you can date Mexican novella chicks. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow on Facebook!

Episode 23 - Millenials Are Little B*tches

July 11, 2017 01:10 - 48 minutes - 67.5 MB

The guys are flying high after a headlining weekend at Flapper's Comedy Club so they finally give shout-outs to listeners and commenters. Then they talk about Blac Chyna vs Rob Kardashian, dating strippers, being Captain Save-A-Ho, and why they have a problem with the movie Titanic. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow on Facebook! Hit them up with any questions or comments at [email protected]

Episode 22 - Honesty, Fighting Rappers, Is This Racist

July 05, 2017 17:59 - 52 minutes - 72.4 MB

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian "come clean" in this honesty episode. They finally admit that they forgot to follow through to their listeners from a few months ago. They talk about the haters from their Netflix appearance on the Chingo Bling special and how they react to negative comments. Plus they fight rappers, question racism, and discuss how the BET awards screwed Jerry's Dodger game. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow us on Facebook! We're also on Stitcher Radio and Google Play! ...

Episode 21 - N Word, Gringos, & Threesomes

June 26, 2017 17:26 - 46 minutes - 42.6 MB

Jesus and Christian get their producer to prank Jerry for being late. The guys get intense talking about road rage fights and Christian gets punched by an old man. They get into an intense discussion over the "N" word and the origin of the term "gringos" for which they all have different theories. Finally they get down and dirty talking about threesomes. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow us on Facebook! We're also on Stitcher Radio and Google Play! Hit us up with any questions ...

Episode 20 - If I Cheat She Should Take Me Back

June 19, 2017 21:33 - 51 minutes - 47.3 MB

The show starts off happy with Jerry and Christian recounting their celebrations on Father's Day. But the mood takes a turn when Jerry calls bullsh*t on Jesus claiming to have made a movie at 8 years old. Finally, the guys end up discussing a woman getting railed at her bachelorette party and their mansplanation of cheating. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow us on Facebook! We're also on Stitcher Radio and Google Play! Hit us up with any questions or comments at americanwannabes...

Episode 19 - I Sh*t My Pants In The Club

June 13, 2017 01:05 - 49 minutes - 45.5 MB

In a violently stinky episode, Jerry, Jesus, and Christian talk fighting and shi*tting, and sh*tting while fighting. Jerry joins 100 other Mexican dads in line for some donuts, goes to see Wonder Woman and gets recognized on the street. Jesus doesn't get off on superheroes but Christian thinks it's worth seeing since Gal Gadot is hot. Jesus and Christian break up a fight which lead the guys down a path of breaking up fights, helping out in fights, and joining in on fights until some...

Episode 18 - We're On Netflix Now

June 06, 2017 00:43 - 49 minutes - 46.1 MB

Jerry, Jesus and Christian go Hollywood! The secret's out: Jerry and Jesus are featured on Netflix's "Chingo Bling: They Can't Deport Us All." Available now! They talk about the project and what their lives are like now with fame, fortune and personal assistants. Then, the Wannabes defend Donald Trump, but don't defend Bill Cosby, leading to a talk about the limits of good taste in comedy. Finally, Christian tests Jerry on current street lingo – stick around, you might learn something. ...

Episode 17 - I Don't Trust The Cheese

May 30, 2017 08:00 - 40 minutes - 37.2 MB

Jerry, Jesus and Christian get serious for a minute to pay respects to victims of the Manchester terror attack. How do we keep fools in check in these crazy times? As if the Ariana Grande concert wasn't bad enough, now you can't even trust gas station nacho cheese! Or Congressmen. The Wannabes remember their grossest food moments, then go deep on sexting in the wake of Anthony Weiner's "guilty" plea. By the way, if you wear glasses: Take 'em off or leave 'em on during sex? The Wannabes have ...

Episode 16 - That Knocked The Racist Out Of Me

May 22, 2017 18:40 - 51 minutes - 47.1 MB

Jerry returns from where cholos go to retire! Jesus returns from near-death-by tornado! Together again, the Wannabes revisit the cinematic masterwork known as Lowriders, and explore their deep, devotional love for the Kardashians. Then, hear the Wannabes' complete guide to using the n-word and the (other) f-word. Finally, Jerry, Jesus and Christian explain how their lives ARE the Bow Wow Challenge, which leads into a pit of regret as they confess their deepest childhood insecurities. Plus, a...

Episode 15 - I'll Throw A Rear Naked Choke On You

May 09, 2017 01:01 - 46 minutes - 43 MB

Jesus and Christian clown the Canelo vs. Chavez fight! Always smart to see how much shit you can talk about pro fighters. Then, since Jerry is on the road, Producer Frank steps in to school the Wannabes on the glory of UFC. They don't quite buy it. Plus, hear how Jesus overcame his own tendency to cry during fights, only to suffer a humiliating knockout in his first and only boxing match. Then we end with an epic rant as Christian and Jesus tackle the upcoming sure-to-be classic movie: LOWRI...

Episode 14 - Jerry Might Be Smarter Than President Trump

May 03, 2017 01:45 - 53 minutes - 49.2 MB

Jerry, Jesus and Christian celebrate May Day with all their paisa friends! Christian pits Jerry against Civil War history buff Donald Trump, but can Jerry pass the quiz on behalf of Wannabes everywhere? Plus, brace yourselves...JA RULE IS BACK! The Wannabes talked about him, now he's back making headlines baby! All that, plus sleazy cousins in Mexico, underage drinking, and hook-ups that were never meant for public knowledge. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow us on Facebook! We're a...

Episode 13 - I Was Never A Salma Hayek Fan

April 27, 2017 11:21 - 41 minutes - 38.7 MB

Jerry continues his streak of unpopular opinions about legendary Mexican beauties! First Selena, now this?! Jerry, Jesus and Christian talk good hair, and the lack thereof, before tackling Ryan Gosling's dating life. Spoiler alert: Jerry's not impressed there either. Jesus performs Telenovela Theater and NAILS IT. Jerry gets emotional talking about Patriots Day (the movie, because he doesn't know what the holiday is). And finally, the Wannabes share stories of their greatest celebrity encoun...

Episode 12 - Can I Take My Kids To This?

April 19, 2017 17:41 - 44 minutes - 40.8 MB

Jerry, Jesus and Christian celebrate Tax Day by diving into all the ways for Jerry's kids to waste his money. First, it's Christian's time to shine as the Wannabes discuss the new Star Wars movie, toys and trips to Comic-Con. Then, Jesus and Christian enlighten Jerry to the wonders of Coachella, before the whole crew recounts near death experiences at Morrissey and Kanye concerts. Finally, Jesus spins the epic tale of that one time his dad tried to help him get ahead in comedy. You do not wa...

Episode 11 - She Slapped A Ho Before

April 12, 2017 20:38 - 49 minutes - 45.6 MB

Jerry, Jesus and Christian come out swinging, for an episode all about peleas callejeras! The Wannabes throw down with a woman who attacks kissing strangers, and the passenger who got jumped by United Airlines. Plus, learn about the many street fights of Christian's wife, and all the ways that tensions run high at private comedy shows. Somehow, there's still time to reveal the winners of the first American Wannabe's T-Shirt contest, and for Jerry and Jesus to reflect on their life as a coupl...

Episode 10 - Selena Was Overrated

April 05, 2017 17:25 - 50 minutes - 46.2 MB

Christian outs himself for a car accident. Jerry gets excited about Dodger's opening day. And Jesus thinks flat earthers are idiots but admits he thinks the lunar landing was faked. But the big news is that one of the Wannabes thinks the beloved late singer Selena was overrated and would have been washed up by now. Catch Jerry, Jesus, Christian, and even producer Frank performing standup at The Ice House in Pasadena on Friday, April 7 at 8pm. Tickets are available HERE! Please subscrib...

Episode 9 - Karma Is A Bitch Man

March 29, 2017 00:29 - 48 minutes - 44.8 MB

Jerry cursed himself in the last podcast! Find out how, as Jesus returns from Arizona, the Wannabes reminisce about the last time they got in a fight, and things take an unexpectedly touchy-feely turn. The guys weigh in on the benefits of healthy crying before finally tackling the shit show of the Trump presidency. Catch Jerry, Jesus, Christian, and even producer Frank performing standup at The Ice House in Pasadena on Friday, April 7 at 8pm. Tickets are available HERE! Please subscribe...

Episode 8 - What Is He Gonna Do With That Sperm

March 22, 2017 21:17 - 48 minutes - 89.5 MB

Jerry and Christian roll two deep because Jesus had to cross the border to Arizona a few days early. The guys talk about parenting, from explaining masturbation to accidentally watching sex content with your kid. They're joined briefly by producer Frank Prather to discuss the first time they all saw dirty movies. Plus, Jesus calls in from the road! Catch Jerry, Jesus, Christian, and even Frank performing standup at The Ice House in Pasadena on Friday, April 7 at 8pm. Tickets are available ...

Episode 7 - There's A Lot Of Shame In Me Afterwards

March 15, 2017 01:34 - 51 minutes - 94.1 MB

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian dive into exercise, or lack thereof, and getting naked for sex. Speaking of pain, they take us back to their childhood days and the various types of corporal punishment their parents used to discipline them. Finally, they talk female body hair including bush vs. bald, leg stubble, and underarm growth. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow us on Facebook! We're also on Stitcher Radio and Google Play! Hit us up with any questions or comments at americanwan...

Episode 6 - You Said That Joke Last Time Vol 1

March 07, 2017 22:35 - 50 minutes - 92.5 MB

Jerry, Jesus, and Christian pull back the curtain to discuss the behind-the-scenes of their standup careers. From humble beginnings to epic bombs and everything in between. This is the first of an ongoing series of their adventures in standup comedy.

Episode 5 - I'm Just As Brown As You, Bro

March 01, 2017 00:33 - 46 minutes - 42.5 MB

The Wannabes praise movies that none of them have seen, reveal a scandal in the Zaragosa house, then dive deep into the news to relive adventures with creeper cops, Six Flags and high school wrestling. Please subscribe on iTunes and follow us on Facebook! We're also on Stitcher Radio! Hit us up with any questions or comments at [email protected]

American Wannabes Podcast

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