About Face artwork

About Face

61 episodes - English - Latest episode: 8 days ago - ★★★★★ - 51 ratings

About Face explores a wide range of themes around identity and self including addiction, sex and relationships, trauma, LGBTQ issues, and family of origin stories. Through reflection, interview, and narrative storytelling this podcast deconstructs personal, family, and cultural narratives to better understand our ourselves and access authenticity.

Hosted by Kate Marlene, writer and therapist.

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Episodes

49. PSA: Stop Texting When You Should Be Talking!

March 21, 2024 09:38 - 21 minutes - 20.2 MB

When it comes to texting- I am the worst! I have a history of sending break-up texts, having serious conflicts by text message, and trying to communicate my emotional reactions and needs by text message.  The thing is- we don't get anywhere by dumping on others through text message. We lose nuance, accountability, and the opportunity for conflict resolution. In this episode, I talk about my own history of being a bad communicator by text message, how I learned to (eeek!) call instead of ...

48. Burnout in Mid-Life and 'The Way Home' w/ Ben Katt

March 14, 2024 13:20 - 1 hour - 61.4 MB

I started this podcast after my own 'rock bottom' story and recovery journey, really in effort to capture the essence of personal growth and transformation coming out of darkness. But, what if there is no rock bottom?  What if you simply feel, or hear a voice deep down that tells you ... something isn't right? 'Rock bottom’ stories can be inspiring, they do not always capture the very normative experiences of burnout, feelings of disconnect, and a lack of purpose, particulary at mid-life...

47. Managing Fear and Anger During Loss

March 04, 2024 13:20 - 18 minutes - 17.3 MB

I wanted to share a difficulty that I have been struggling with the last month and how I was able to manage some hard, even shameful emotions that came up for me. When my kids' father got sick and ended up in the hospital for the last month I had to accept my new role as a single mom, without the help of a co-parent. In this episode I discuss the stages of grief I went through, including some anger and resentment that I was not proud of. I also discuss the shift I was able to make from fea...

46. Love Stories in Art and Life w/ Olivia DeRecat

February 06, 2024 08:49 - 1 hour - 55.1 MB

Love stories captivate all of us, but how do narratives of love influence how we date, make meaning, and tell our own stories? What do we look for in the love stories of our own lives and how do larger narratives about love influence how we pursue and experience romance? In this episode, I interview Olivia de Recat, author, illustrator, and cartoonist for the New Yorker. Her book Drawn Together was named one of the best books of the Year by the New Yorker in 2022. This book was absolutely ...

45. Illness, Negative Self-Talk, and Healing

December 06, 2023 11:48 - 20 minutes - 18.4 MB

Being sick can have a negative impact on our sense of self and mental well-being. Do you feel unproductive, unable to be a good parent, or isolated and lonely when you're sick? When we are ill, a myriad of stories, beliefs, and negative associations can surface. These stories can impact our sense of self and, in my case, even lead to questioning my ability to work or be a good parent, fostering self-doubt and blame. To stop negative self-reflection during illness we must detach our identit...

44. Break Ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On w/ Janice Formichella

November 16, 2023 16:28 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

One of the greatest pains we will ever endure in life is heartache, either from a break-up, rejection, divorce, or the severance of a relationship. In this episode I talked with Janice Formicella, a break-up coach and host of the podcast, "Break-ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On." We talked about recovery from our own divorce and other break-ups, withdrawal after break-up, the power of no-contact, and how to use the pain of a break-up to fuel personal growth at any stage of life. We also tal...

43. College Pregnancy: An Interview with the Father (20 Years Later)

October 17, 2023 09:00 - 1 hour - 58.6 MB

Almost exactly 20 years ago I got pregnant. I was still in college and my boyfriend at the time was getting ready to start a Ph.D. at Harvard. We had big life dreams, that for both of us, seemed inevitable, not to be disrupted by an unexpected pregnancy. A couple years ago I met up with Jeremie when we were both in Paris and he agreed to let me record this conversation about what happened, our relationship, and how our lives were impacted. I want to clarify firstly, this is not an anti-abo...

42. My (Ex) Mother in Law Thinks I'm Cray! Dealing with Multiple Truths

October 04, 2023 11:28 - 18 minutes - 17.2 MB

Any time we try to convince others of our truth and convictions we lose power. When I got divorced I heard a lot of rumors about myself-- I'm crazy, left my husband for a younger boyfriend, etc. This experience taught me a lot about how to stand in my own power and truth and to not let myself be vulnerable to the thoughts and opinions of others.

41. I Am Trapped in a Foreign Country!- Reimagining Limitations

September 26, 2023 12:24 - 16 minutes - 14.9 MB

I got on a dating app in 2012 and met my now ex-husband. Now I have two German kids and I can't leave the country! On a bad day this really gets be down, however, it has taught me a lot about the power of reimagining possibility within the very real limitations of our lives and circumstances. This episode is for anyone who has felt held back back or "stuck" because of circumstances, past decisions, and the consequences of just living our lives. Reimagine your limitations with real hope, poss...

40. Truth Hurts: Saying the Hard Stuff

June 06, 2022 12:37 - 28 minutes - 26.5 MB

I took a break from podcasting because I didn't know how to tell my own stories anymore. There was shame, confusion, fear, and hardship around what I was going through- leaving my marriage, becoming a single mother, and learning to embrace the truth about my situation and my life. This episode is about the reality of why I had to leave my marriage, what I learned about processing the grief and trauma, and how stories and podcasters have given me strength and hope. 

Truth Hurts: Saying the Hard Stuff

June 06, 2022 12:37 - 28 minutes - 26.5 MB

I took a break from podcasting because I didn't know how to tell my own stories anymore. There was shame, confusion, fear, and hardship around what I was going through- leaving my marriage, becoming a single mother, and learning to embrace the truth about my situation and my life. This episode is about the reality of why I had to leave my marriage, what I learned about processing the grief and trauma, and how stories and podcasters have given me strength and hope. 

Healing in Sex and Love w/ Quintin Mecke

May 22, 2022 12:04 - 1 hour - 71.6 MB

Dating after divorce or after 40 can be messy, but it's also a great time for self-growth, healing, and introspection. In this episode, Kate talks with Quintin Mecke, social activist, politician, and former mayoral candidate of San Francisco about healing in sex and love. This episode is a funny reflection on how they met doing storytelling in San Francisco, Kate's existential crisis when a sex tape is revealed, a relapse, polyamory, divorce, breakups and their misadventures in dating and hea...

39. Healing in Sex and Love w/ Quintin Mecke

May 22, 2022 12:04 - 1 hour - 71.6 MB

Dating after divorce or after 40 can be messy, but it's also a great time for self-growth, healing, and introspection. In this episode, Kate talks with Quintin Mecke, social activist, politician, and former mayoral candidate of San Francisco about healing in sex and love. This episode is a funny reflection on how they met doing storytelling in San Francisco, Kate's existential crisis when a sex tape is revealed, a relapse, polyamory, divorce, breakups and their misadventures in dating and hea...

Truth Telling: if you want to heal, you have to be real

May 09, 2022 06:46 - 23 minutes - 21.9 MB

This is the first episode in a new season of About Face. Kate shares her personal journey with creating the podcast, what it means to be authentic, why being honest with ourselves is crucial to recovery. She shares about losing a guest to overdose, divorce, addiction recovery, sex and love addiction, her inspiration in the trans community, and the role of storytelling in recovery. If you want to heal, you have to be real. Here is the first episode on a journey of truth and finding authenticit...

38. Truth Telling: if you want to heal, you have to be real

May 09, 2022 06:46 - 23 minutes - 21.9 MB

This is the first episode in a new season of About Face. Kate shares her personal journey with creating the podcast, what it means to be authentic, why being honest with ourselves is crucial to recovery. She shares about losing a guest to overdose, divorce, addiction recovery, sex and love addiction, her inspiration in the trans community, and the role of storytelling in recovery. If you want to heal, you have to be real. Here is the first episode on a journey of truth and finding authenticit...

37. I Got Hypnotized: Subconscious Storytelling

February 05, 2021 13:12 - 54 minutes - 49.9 MB

Last summer I got hypnotized for over two hours and I wanted to share about this experience as well as the relationship I found between narrative healing and subconscious imagery. In this episode I interview Marta Styczen about her hypnotherapy practice and we talk about my session, including the process of going under hypnosis, what it is really like, whether anyone is susceptible to hypnosis, what I learned, and how I found it to be such a powerful source of healing and information. While ...

E17: I Got Hypnotized

February 05, 2021 13:12 - 54 minutes - 49.9 MB

Last summer I got hypnotized for over two hours and I wanted to share about this experience as well as the relationship I found between narrative healing and subconscious imagery. In this episode I interview Marta Styczen about her hypnotherapy practice and we talk about my session, including the process of going under hypnosis, what it is really like, whether anyone is susceptible to hypnosis, what I learned, and how I found it to be such a powerful source of healing and information. While ...

E16- Suffering is Optional- Attachment Stories

January 13, 2021 14:52 - 25 minutes - 23.5 MB

Today I want to talk about something I call “Attachment Stories,” and it’s the stories that attach themselves to events, issues, or traits about ourselves, our families, communities etc. Basically, it’s the accompanying stories that might crop up in a damaging way. Many of you have probably heard this expression: “Pain inevitable, suffering is optional” an ancient Buddhist expression, made popular by Haruki Murakami. This quote is basically the premise of how to face attachment stories. Th...

36. Suffering is Optional- Attachment Stories

January 13, 2021 14:52 - 25 minutes - 23.5 MB

Today I want to talk about something I call “Attachment Stories,” and it’s the stories that attach themselves to events, issues, or traits about ourselves, our families, communities etc. Basically, it’s the accompanying stories that might crop up in a damaging way. Many of you have probably heard this expression: “Pain inevitable, suffering is optional” an ancient Buddhist expression, made popular by Haruki Murakami. This quote is basically the premise of how to face attachment stories. Th...

35. Why Me? When Bad Things Happen

December 07, 2020 11:49 - 24 minutes - 22.1 MB

I used to think I could insulate myself against pain or hardship by doing the right thing or making "good decisions." When my daughter was diagnosed with a rare brain condition, I had to face my greatest fears of illness, vulnerability, and a total loss of control. In this episode I share about going through the transition from denying and fighting against hardship and how learning to accept difficult fates and struggles has taught me about connection, humanity, and empathy.  This episode ...

E15: Why Me? When Bad Things Happen

December 07, 2020 11:49 - 24 minutes - 22.1 MB

I used to think I could insulate myself against pain or hardship by doing the right thing or making "good decisions." When my daughter was diagnosed with a rare brain condition, I had to face my greatest fears of illness, vulnerability, and a total loss of control. In this episode I share about going through the transition from denying and fighting against hardship and how learning to accept difficult fates and struggles has taught me about connection, humanity, and empathy.  This episode ...

34. I'm Successful, How Could I Be An Addict?

November 25, 2020 12:57 - 52 minutes - 47.7 MB

I hated the thought of being an addict or an alcoholic. I would often point to my external successes as a straight A student, a lawyer, having a good job and other markers of "well-being" to distract from my problem with alcohol, my depression, anxiety, and my pain. After going through recovery I've noticed that so many addicts are actually "successful" in many other areas of their lives. But, how is this narrative of success preventing them from getting help? Today I am bringing you an in...

E14: I'm Successful, How Could I Be An Addict?

November 25, 2020 12:57 - 52 minutes - 47.7 MB

I hated the thought of being an addict or an alcoholic. I would often point to my external successes as a straight A student, a lawyer, having a good job and other markers of "well-being" to distract from my problem with alcohol, my depression, anxiety, and my pain. After going through recovery I've noticed that so many addicts are actually "successful" in many other areas of their lives. But, how is this narrative of success preventing them from getting help? Today I am bringing you an in...

33. Sick of Gratitude Lists? Try My Shit List

November 18, 2020 10:05 - 14 minutes - 13 MB

I love gratitude lists, but I think sometimes the pressure to focus on the positive (and shaming for negative thinking) can be destructive. In this episode I want to share my experience with learning to acknowledge some of the challenges in my life, taking an honest approach to hardship. This is about self compassion and learning to get real when things kind of suck. 

E13- Sick of Gratitude Lists? Try My Shit List

November 18, 2020 10:05 - 14 minutes - 13 MB

I love gratitude lists, but I think sometimes the pressure to focus on the positive (and shaming for negative thinking) can be destructive. In this episode I want to share my experience with learning to acknowledge some of the challenges in my life, taking an honest approach to hardship. This is about self compassion and learning to get real when things kind of suck. 

E12- Getting Over a Break-Up, Divorce, Love Lost

October 30, 2020 12:32 - 31 minutes - 29.1 MB

Break-ups are HARD and the heartache can last years. This episode explores the relationship between self-identity and break-ups and why the pain is often because of the stories we tell ourselves about why things ended. Whether you left a 20 year marriage or you got ghosted after a few Tinder dates, this episode is for you. Kate explores four steps to narrative healing: 1- What stories are you telling yourself about the relationship or the break-up? 2- What stories are you telling yoursel...

E11- Collective Grief and Rising Hope in a Pandemic

October 13, 2020 15:38 - 25 minutes - 23.5 MB

So. many of us are suffering from the collective grief of this pandemic and it's been manifesting in various ways- pressures on our relationships, money stress, health fears, feelings of isolation, and the unknown. There is also a depressive element- not knowing how we will be moving forward for the next year, the inability to make plans, and this pressing feeling of, "Will this ever end?"   Kate talks about her own struggles with the grief and loss, the inability to travel out of a fo...

E10- Challenging Our Food and Body Narratives

September 25, 2020 12:55 - 53 minutes - 48.9 MB

Food is so basic and primal and yet so many of us suffer from disordered eating--why? This isn't about extreme cases of anorexia, bulimia, or overeating (though it could be), but the many little ways that we are tortured by food management, food restriction, and the disordered relationships we have with food because of personal, family, cultural and systemic narratives. In this episode Kate talks with food psychology coach Laura Lloyd about the narratives we have about food, our bodies, an...

E9: Restor(y)ing a Father's Absence

September 15, 2020 08:41 - 42 minutes - 38.9 MB

When you think of the most important stories of your life, they are often about relationships. What stories you tell about yourself and your life often begin with family, parental bonds, siblings, and events that involved these important relationships. Whether you have strong bonds with your family or you have severed ties, you likely continue to have stories and narratives around your early life and how these relationships shaped who you are. I met Aidan “Taco” Jones when he did a stand-u...

E8- When Fear is Real: Medical Fears, Money & Loss

September 08, 2020 11:15 - 42 minutes - 39 MB

In 2017, my 18-month old daughter had to have brain scans for a suspected tumor. While in the hospital, she didn't wake up from the anesthetic. It turned out she had caught a superbug while being tested, but the doctors told me that she should also be tested for lung cancer, blood cancers, among other really scary diagnoses. All of this was something I had to navigate in a foreign country, in a foreign language.   Literally, the scariest week of my life.   Eventually she was diagnose...

E7: Fear Narratives: Finding Self and Truth

August 28, 2020 10:02 - 25 minutes - 23.6 MB

Fear is so basic, primal, but also gets at the role of narrative in our lives is fear. Fear is an instinct of course, it drives us to make decisions, to do or not do things. It can get in the way of moving forward, but of course it also has this evolutionary advantage of keeping us safe from harm. Fear narratives can be based on societal messaging, family of origin stories, experiences, and even cultural mythologies, but it is important to understand where our fears are coming from and whet...

E6: Reimagining Self and the Journey in Tarot w/ Hannah Joy Graves

August 22, 2020 12:00 - 53 minutes - 48.7 MB

This podcast is broadly looking at the way that stories and reimagined narratives can help us shut down negative thinking patterns, deconstruct damaging systemic narratives, and take the power back in reimagining our own lives. My guest today is Hannah Joy Graves a.k.a. Cult Mother a tarot card reader in Berlin who you also heard on an earlier episode of About Face. While the reading of tarot is by no means scientific or having proven healing powers in a medical way, I do think that it has t...

E6- Family Secrets, Narratives, and Reclaiming Self w/ Susie Kahlich

August 13, 2020 10:52 - 31 minutes - 29.2 MB

This episode was originally produced for the Pretty Deadly Self-Defense podcast. It is about family trauma, secrets, and the narratives that work to protect abusers and can leave victims bearing the burden of keeping a family intact. It is about family sexual violence, but also how to live truthfully and authentically as a victim to restore a sense of power and take initiatives in healing.  Kate shares a personal experience with family sexual violence and asks Susie about the reality that ...

E5- Poetry and Embodied Activism (Wicked Slam Live in Berlin)

August 07, 2020 12:23 - 14 minutes - 13.5 MB

I started my work in activism at more of the macro level. I went to law school and studied international human rights at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis. this where George Floyd was murdered and sort of the starting point of the protests against police brutality in the U.S. When I was there I was working for the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of prison inmates. One of my jobs was to read the letters from the inmates, to decide if they had a claim. Now I can tell you what...

E4- Challenging Gender Binaries and Biology Narratives w/ Aisling Ní Chába

July 28, 2020 13:34 - 1 hour - 71 MB

Kate interviews Aisling Ní Chába about her internal experience with gender identity from childhood, growing up in an abusive family and repressive Catholic community in Glasgow. She talks about the challenges she faced in finding institutional support and how transitioning forced her to confront gender binary narratives on the personal level as well as in academia as an archaeologist. I did this interview about a week before she entered the hospital for vaginoplasty or gender confirmation su...

E3- You Are Not Your Problems

July 17, 2020 15:05 - 37 minutes - 34.1 MB

I'm a divorced, single mom, an alcoholic, I suffer from depression and anxiety, among some other things, and yes, all of this sounds really shitty, but it's not really the story of my life. The way we talk about ourselves and our experiences matters. This episode is about how we can learn to separate ourselves and our identity from our problems, how avoiding certain labels can inhibit our ability to get help, and the role of narrative therapy in finding solutions. 

E2- Alcoholism & Recovery: A Personal Narrative Journey

July 09, 2020 07:47 - 32 minutes - 29.8 MB

Stories tell us about where we come from, who we are. They give us meaning and purpose. And without some understanding of how they influence us, a story can keep us in bad habits. I want to use my own life as an example of how my own stories kept me from healing, and how learning new narratives gave me room to heal. I started drinking alcoholically when I was about 16, though I wouldn’t have admitted it. I did know something was “wrong” especially after I wound up in the hospital with alco...

E1: Welcome to Restorya! An Introduction

July 03, 2020 09:11 - 33 minutes - 30.7 MB

In our first episode of Restorya, Kate talks about the evolution of About Face and why she’s changed the show and the content to introduce her work in narrative therapy. She shares the origin story of About Face, her own experience with getting sober and recovery through narrative and storytelling and how creating hope around narrative can be beneficial in moving beyond our pain and trauma. Kate delves into what narrative therapy is, her own experience with studying narrative for 20 years an...

Episode 20: Missa Blue- Burlesque Dancer, Sword Swallower- Facing Your Fears

June 10, 2020 09:17 - 1 hour - 65.1 MB

I met MISSA BLUE after one of her hypnotic burlesque shows, a political, challenging and riveting performance history of the Black Panthers. Missa Blue is a well known variety performer who has gained international recognition through her highly skilled sword swallowing shows and for being one of the very few woman in the world who are still actively practicing this ancient art form. In 2016 she survived a life threatening accident on stage. This has pushed her to become an activist for Perf...

Guest Episode- Leaving the Amish Community- Filter Stories

August 13, 2019 08:52 - 38 minutes - 35.7 MB

Today we are sharing a guest episode from Filter Stories by James Harper about Raymond, a former member of an Amish community who left his home and his country. Raymond's family want him to spend his life using a horse instead of a car, to live off the grid and have little contact with the outside world. But young Raymond is curious and explores the outside world. His father reacts by moving the family into an even more isolated community. Fast-forward 20 years and Raymond is pulling esp...

Episode 19: Surviving the Unimaginable w/ Christine McAlister

July 17, 2019 12:45 - 53 minutes - 48.6 MB

Christine McAlister has endured one of the most horrible and traumatic experiences that I can imagine, and yet, her retelling of the experience and how it changed her is admirable and profound. This is courage, strength, and power in the face of adversity and it’s what I love to learn about from people who have really been through some of life’s toughest lessons.  What happens when the worst thing that you think could ever happen to you, actually happens? How do you make sense of life when...

Episode 17: Accepting Life and Self in Chronic Illness w/ Lisa Spears

June 20, 2019 13:11 - 30 minutes - 32.5 MB

Lisa was an ambitious 20-something working for the United Nations when a sudden and chronic illness became debilitating, leaving her unable to work. This the story of facing her illness, a shocking diagnosis, and her ability to let go of expectations of life and self. It's a story about losing loved ones, forgiveness, and self-compassion. It's about coming to terms with death and how she redefined a meaningful life.  About Face is a member of Bear Radio Music provided by Miss Kenichi. 

Episode 17: The Truth Changes Everything w/ Tim Maas

May 22, 2019 14:43 - 34 minutes - 32 MB

Our guest Tim, shares semi-anonymously about his experiences with an unexpected pregnancy, as a new father, and a truth about his life that changed everything. It's a story that reminds us how to move forward through life's challenges, and how to face the most impossible decisions without regret.  No one’s life turns out perfect. Nothing works out exactly the way that we’ve planned or expected, but the question is what we do with our mistakes, or those moments that force us into difficult ...

Episode 16: Reclaiming the Voice After Emotional Abuse w/ Reema Zaman

March 15, 2019 11:04 - 29 minutes - 27.5 MB

The relationships we inhabit can shape and define us, and how we see ourselves. Who we choose to love and let love us matters, because in the wrong hands, we may suffer from neglect, abuse, oppression, and even, the total loss of self. One of the most difficult decisions is to know when someone we love is no longer serving us, or worse, actually causing us harm. What does it take to break away, and how do we know when to do it? This is a story about love, but also co-dependency and the ver...

Episode 15: Lessons of Oppression and Injustice w/ Naniso Tswai

February 18, 2019 10:04 - 39 minutes - 35.9 MB

Naniso shares his experience growing up in the generation following Apartheid and describes the difference between institutionalized and systemic racism versus other forms of covert oppression. We talk about a particular instance where he was physically assaulted and detained at an airport and how the attack figures into his consciousness, as a thought leader and in how he interacts with the world. The way that we see ourselves in the world begins with our family, where are we in the pecki...

Episode 14 - Why Fortune and Fame Are Never Enough /w Tania Lacy

January 31, 2019 12:53 - 42 minutes - 39.2 MB

Tania Lacy was a famous Australian television personality during the 80s and early 90s before she got fired for hijacking the station in protest. Losing her job led to a loss of identity and a reckoning with her own sense of self. This is a story about her height as a celebrity and the fall into obscurity and heroin addiction. This is a story about Tania's ballet accident that ruined her dance career, her transition into  choreography and Kylie Minogue's "Locomotion" video and her rise as a ...

Episode 13 - Finding Light in the Dark w/ Justin Evans

January 11, 2019 11:12 - 24 minutes - 22.5 MB

Why are some of us capable of changing our lives and finding the right path while others get lost along the way? What influence does mental illness play in our ability to recover? How do we navigate our way out of broken homes, addiction, and family mental illness? This episode features Justin Evans from The Peripheral and The Generation Why, one of the top-ranking true crime podcasts. We talked about his family history of mental illness, how to mourn loved one who has already been lost to...

Episode 12- Shedding the Armor w/ Hannah Graves

December 28, 2018 12:56 - 36 minutes - 33.4 MB

Tattoos, piercings, punk rock, rockabilly- the look and the subculture can have a hard-shell appearance, but what about those individuals underneath? What is the relationship between subculture and individual identity? Is there a correlation between mental health and extreme tattooing? How do subcultures give us strength and armor, and at what point are we lost to ideology? Is there a false security in our fight for belonging?  This is one woman’s journey--how she found hope, strength and ...

Episode 11- Making Birth Visible w/ Carmen Winant

December 10, 2018 14:02 - 41 minutes - 25.3 MB

I want to start at the beginning, with birth. This episode includes my own story about a traumatic birth and my interview with visual artist and writer, Carmen Winant, to talk about her work, My Birth, the powerful installation at the MoMA, the missing and misrepresentations of birth in cultural representations as well as the challenges in the transition into motherhood. In addition to birth, we also talked about feminism in motherhood, and the potential for political action around these spe...

Let Me Be Honest (Hello From Kate)

December 03, 2018 14:40 - 2 minutes - 26.6 MB

A short hello and introduction to our next season which will be released every two weeks beginning December 10. 

Guests

Jason Snell
2 Episodes

Twitter Mentions

@reemazaman 1 Episode