372 Pages We'll Never Get Back artwork

372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

176 episodes - English - Latest episode: 11 days ago - ★★★★★ - 524 ratings

Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they're pretty sure they're going to hate. Read along with us for a podcast book clubs of Ready Player One, Armada, The Eye of Argon, Dan Brown, and more!

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Episodes

Episode 25 – Meetings About Sonny Hokori

December 04, 2018 14:37 - 1 hour - 62.1 MB

Look, we all love Sonny Hokori and Bennet Sands and Dr. Kittridge’s insanely hot daughter. We love to hear Jake discuss those people in quirky alleys with people we’ve never met and probably will never hear from again. But for the love of god, do we need FOUR CONSECUTIVE CHAPTERS of these meetings???  In this … Continue reading "Episode 25 – Meetings About Sonny Hokori"

Episode 24 – ¡El Pelo Hinchable!

November 20, 2018 13:21 - 1 hour - 68.8 MB

To the inattentive and brainless layman* it might appear that not much happened during this stretch of TekWar. Mostly Jake aka Jonatha and Juanito aka The Android(???) just sat and talked to people about other people we haven’t met yet. Somehow, we discussed this for nearly two hours. Folks stepped up their fanfic this time … Continue reading "Episode 24 – ¡El Pelo Hinchable!"

Episode 23 – Plasepisode Plastwenty Plasthree

November 12, 2018 14:34 - 1 hour - 66.9 MB

Steeple your chrome fingers against your chrome nose and tell maw to cork it, here’s our first Tekwar episode! We’ve got a ton to cover here: the difference between Airvans and Skycabs. Coppery racism. Oddly specific and ever increasing intervals of time. And printing, my god the printing!   A hearty plasthanks to our Patreon … Continue reading "Episode 23 – Plasepisode Plastwenty Plasthree"

Episode 22 – Book Four Reveal!

November 02, 2018 13:23 - 25 minutes - 15.8 MB

Let’s not delay this any longer: We’ve got a new book picked out to read together, and by all accounts it’s gonna be a doozy. So let’s say goodbye to Norgolia and move on to… Well, you’ll have to listen to find out! We didn’t know the assignment for MYSTERY BOOK REDACTED when we recorded, … Continue reading "Episode 22 – Book Four Reveal!"

Episode 21 – Mo’ Shamen, Maw Problems

October 26, 2018 12:17 - 1 hour - 55.7 MB

It feels like we just started Grignr’s journey, but it’s already time to finish The Eye of Argon. Fortunately, the second half is just as amazing as the first half, with out of left field seizures, deadly rat pelvis bones, reeking maws, husking femmes, and iycks!   We’ll also take a look at how the … Continue reading "Episode 21 – Mo’ Shamen, Maw Problems"

Episode 20 – Hope You Like Adjectives!

October 19, 2018 13:31 - 1 hour - 60.3 MB

Wow! The Eye of Argon more than surpassed our expectations. Our ovals widened rotundly with every additional sentence Theis crafted. My god, the first four (4.5, really) chapters were only like six thousand words and we spent nearly two hours discussing them! Obviously there’s a lot to cover here as Grignr makes his way through … Continue reading "Episode 20 – Hope You Like Adjectives!"

Episode 19 – The Eye of Argon

October 12, 2018 12:16 - 33 minutes - 19.7 MB

We teased it in our last episode, but we’re finally ready to reveal to you: our next book is called The Eye of Argon. We figured, what could possibly carry the torch of Ernest Cline’s terrible books, and decided: how about a typo-riddled fantasy novella written five decades ago by a sixteen year old who … Continue reading "Episode 19 – The Eye of Argon"

Episode 18 – A Crummy Commercial

October 09, 2018 13:41 - 9 minutes - 5.58 MB

We are back! Don’t worry, there is no new Ernest Cline book. But we’ve decided to launch back up to try to tackle some books which may be just as bad or even worse! DO NOT GET TOO EXCITED! There’s no real content in this episode. It is just A Crummy Commercial for our new Patreon. … Continue reading "Episode 18 – A Crummy Commercial"

Episode 17 – We’ll Do It Live… Or Will We?

April 20, 2018 17:32 - 1 hour - 70 MB

Recorded live at Sisyphus Brewing in Minneapolis on April 11th, this is our first ever live show… Is how this post used to start before the recording of our live show was lost in an epic tech meltdown! But never fear, Mike and Conor have reunited to rediscuss the Ready Player One movie, in possibly … Continue reading "Episode 17 – We’ll Do It Live… Or Will We?"

Episode 16 – And Then All That Happened, The End

March 23, 2018 19:25 - 1 hour - 70.2 MB

When we last left Zack Lightman, he was submerged beneath the Antarctic Ocean, trying to retrieve his father and save the world. But then it was getting close to happy hour, so Ernest Cline decided to just wrap things up and hit publish on one of the most unsatisfying, unbelievably rushed endings we’ve ever seen. … Continue reading "Episode 16 – And Then All That Happened, The End"

Episode 15 – Some Light, Pre-Apocalypse Boning

March 16, 2018 18:25 - 1 hour - 57.4 MB

As humanity’s potential end draws near, our heroes still have not been allowed to say goodbye to their loved ones back on Earth. So they all do what any normal person would do in that situation: bang the hell of out someone they just met a few hours ago. Mike and Conor’s faces contort as … Continue reading "Episode 15 – Some Light, Pre-Apocalypse Boning"

Episode 14 – A General Uses the Term “Snackage”

March 09, 2018 21:03 - 1 hour - 69.3 MB

The Europan death armada is just  hours away, and mankind’s last defense force is behaving about how you’d expect: grinning, crushing hard, and making references to classic 80s horror anthologies. With only 100 pages left in the book, Mike and Conor are convinced that events that advance the plot forward may soon begin to actually … Continue reading "Episode 14 – A General Uses the Term “Snackage”"

Episode 13 – Or as it Came to be Known, Episode 13

March 02, 2018 13:46 - 1 hour - 60.1 MB

The calendars may say that it’s March, but to us it’s Clinetober! Here at 372 Pages we’re power-leaping into the month like a terrible Godzilla simile from the classic Toho kaiju flick Godzilla. This week’s reading may have broken the all-time record for most notes scrawled in the margins of our copies of Armada. Conor … Continue reading "Episode 13 – Or as it Came to be Known, Episode 13"

Episode 12 – The Hot Geek Girl Laughed at my Episode Title

February 23, 2018 13:18 - 1 hour - 58.4 MB

Mike and Conor cover an absolutely thrilling stretch of Armada in this episode. Hold your breath because we’re about to discuss all of this: not one but TWO phone contact exchanging scenes, not one but TWO briefings in a large auditorium, and to cap it all off: an EULA acceptance scene!!! We’ll also explore some … Continue reading "Episode 12 – The Hot Geek Girl Laughed at my Episode Title"

Episode 11 – Insanely hot (but relateable) moms

February 09, 2018 21:08 - 1 hour - 45.1 MB

In this episode we meet Zack’s insanely hot TV addicted gamer mom. Turns out the Hot but Relateable Mom trope isn’t just a Clineian invention, and Conor reveals where he’s seen it turn up recently. Also, Mike was able to pull some strings and secure a scene from the movie version of Armada, a movie … Continue reading "Episode 11 – Insanely hot (but relateable) moms"

Episode 10 – What Have We Done?

February 02, 2018 18:23 - 1 hour - 45.6 MB

In this first fifty pages of Armada, our hero sees a flying saucer, reads a giant list of movie release dates, and then goes to work. Somehow we talked about this sequence of events for 1 hour and 20 minutes. We also get caught up on what Conor and Mike read in between Cline novels,  … Continue reading "Episode 10 – What Have We Done?"

Episode 9 – Season 2: Armada

January 26, 2018 19:43 - 30 minutes - 20.3 MB

We’re back with a new season!  Join us as we read Ernest Cline’s followup to RP1, Armada. We’re extremely excited to read what is widely regarded as Cline’s bad novel. We’ll talk about our expectations, see if we can guess whether a critic was reviewing RP1 or Armada, and play a quick round of Real … Continue reading "Episode 9 – Season 2: Armada"

Episode 8 – 1980s Reference

October 27, 2017 19:24 - 1 hour - 82.1 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here We’re done!!! After one last robot fight, video game speedrun, and  rote recitation of a popular “geek” movie, we’ve finally reached the titular 372nd page. Tune in for the Dumb Sentence … Continue reading "Episode 8 – 1980s Reference"

Episode 7 – 1973 Was My Favorite Year in the 80s

October 20, 2017 18:14 - 1 hour - 42.8 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here In this episode, Wade Watts faces the possibility of a lifetime of slavery! But then he gets out of it easily thanks to his hacking prowess, which he totally has had … Continue reading "Episode 7 – 1973 Was My Favorite Year in the 80s"

Episode 6 – Rush for a Change of Atmosphere

October 12, 2017 23:02 - 1 hour - 44.7 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Join us in our detailed recreation of the living room from Family Ties for Episode 6! The gunt is in it’s homestretch, so what better time to pause your novel for … Continue reading "Episode 6 – Rush for a Change of Atmosphere"

Episode 5 – Several Discreet Openings

October 05, 2017 16:26 - 1 hour - 40.4 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here This week we’re talking Wade’s Rig. And folks — it is a hell of a rig. We’ll also discuss the seemingly booming post-apocalyptic economy that makes all this gunting possible, venture … Continue reading "Episode 5 – Several Discreet Openings"

Episode 4 – Delightful 80’s References and Several Hundred Dead Children!

September 28, 2017 18:44 - 1 hour - 34.2 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here We’ll discuss whether eating rotted Greenland shark meat is better than Ready Player One, take a thrilling look at server redundancy and connection lag, analyze various rigs, and examine what has … Continue reading "Episode 4 – Delightful 80’s References and Several Hundred Dead Children!"

Episode 3 – Ducks and Hairy Knuckled Chucks

September 13, 2017 17:57 - 1 hour - 42.5 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here It’s another classic episode of 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back! We’ll guess whether passages came from RP1 Fan Fiction or the novel itself, break down our hero’s obsession with the … Continue reading "Episode 3 – Ducks and Hairy Knuckled Chucks"

Episode 2 – A List and a Lich

September 08, 2017 17:01 - 1 hour - 45 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Update your Gunter Wiki, crapburgers, it’s time for a new episode! This week we calibrate our tastes with Mike’s, delve into the delightful parenthetical autistism of James Halliday, take a closer … Continue reading "Episode 2 – A List and a Lich"

Episode 1 – A Miniseries About a Housecoat

September 01, 2017 17:06 - 1 hour - 36.3 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here In this episode, we’ll learn how calibrated your tastes are with Conor’s, meet our Rubenesque main characters, discuss the book’s generously amorphous definition of 80s pop culture,  examine how hard it … Continue reading "Episode 1 – A Miniseries About a Housecoat"

Episode 0 – A Book We’re Probably Going to Hate

August 25, 2017 17:43 - 26 minutes - 18.5 MB

Support the podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early, and a ton of other exclusive content: patreon.com/372pages Get the book here Welcome to 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back! This is a podcast book club where we are reading the bestselling novel Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. In this episode, Mike … Continue reading "Episode 0 – A Book We’re Probably Going to Hate"

Guests

John Hodgman
1 Episode

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