Latest Squareenix Podcast Episodes
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 5 - New Character Just Dropped
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - April 22, 2024 12:45 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 410 If she only could, Yuffie'd make a deal with Cloud, and they would swap their places. She'd be running up that road, running up that hill, with no problems. Come on, Tifa. Come on, Aerith. Let her steal this materia from you now. But Cloud is too busy with a little he...
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 4 - Put Barret In A Speedo, You Cowards
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - April 15, 2024 13:33 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsHow do you feel about minigames? What about a whole chunker of minigames? Not interested? What if I told you it was a BEACH EPISODE! But a beach episode that only lets you pick out swimwear for three out of four of the humans in your party at the time. Yes, the plot is put on hold for a moment...
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 3 - Matt's Funds Drive
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - April 08, 2024 11:00 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 408 Shine, shine! It's bald time. Finally us bald folks can see ourselves represented on screen in this rhythm game packed chunker of Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth! Plus you can finally donate to a non-Patreon related Matt bank account for some reason and solve a challenging...
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 2 - A Massive Tifa Moment
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - April 01, 2024 10:20 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 407 Johnny's out so it's another All-American episode, full of America's favourite passtimes: ball punching! Very long X-Men tangents! Chadley! Boob punching? Also: - Midwest Emo - Wrench Cheeseburger - Who's Galactica's Mom? - More Like Pottycast - "I love living ...
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth Part 1 - Matt Wants This Episode To Be Called Sluttiroth
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - March 25, 2024 11:50 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 406 Square Roots plays a totally new game! Okay, not TOTALLY new. Some of it is a quarter century old. But it's somewhat new! And it just came out! This is different! This is strange! Change is bad! But we're rolling with it. So we are playing Square Enix's Final Fantasy ...
Bayonetta Part 3 - A Pair of Dorks
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - March 18, 2024 12:21 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsBayonetta Part 3 - A Pair of Dorks Square Roots - Episode 405 Johnny doxes everyone in this eventful episode of our Bayonetta playthrough! We finish the game. Questions are answered, except maybe the question "is Bayonetta her own mother?" as Matt refuses to listen to any answer other than "ye...
Bayonetta Part 2 - We're Too Punk Rock For Ads
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - March 11, 2024 08:29 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 404 The Bayonetta loving will continue until podcast output improves. In this glamorous episode of Bayonetta, we feel like f***ing celebrities as we're recognized by weird angel statue robots with Mystery Science Theatre tube arms. And Matt paraphrases an email! Also: ...
Bayonetta Part 1 - Lethal Weapon Joe Pesci
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - March 04, 2024 11:06 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsBayonetta Part 1 - Lethal Weapon Joe Pesci Square Roots - Episode 403 Hooray! Everyone is loving Bayonetta! Sure, Vanessa is off due to injury and Matthew may be loving it only under duress, but that's good enough. Because loving Bayonetta is MANDATORY. And this week we start out the Platinum...
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 7 - Hot Butt Office
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - February 26, 2024 09:35 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 402 Finally, truly, we are in the age of Dragons. And we've really finished Dragon Age: Inquisition. Sure, we rolled credits last episode, but this one has Super Credits, with extra special Cassandra narration! Plus we may or may not lose a fan favourite character in this...
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 6 - Canadian Psycho
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - February 19, 2024 08:06 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 401 I don't know how else to say it, but this episode should be kept far from your little ones. Why? Gazzie talk. Just. Lots of gazzie talk. Gazzies everywhere. Wall-to-wall gazzies. I swear that we've got it out of our system and next week you won't ever hear the word Ga...
The Square Roots 400th Episode Spectacular!
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - February 12, 2024 11:34 - 59 minutes ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 400 We interrupt this season of Square Roots for a very special 400th episode in which we talk about the ups and downs of our nerdy lives since 2016, and constantly try not to get mired in talking about politics. THEN THE ROBOTS ARRIVE! Also: - The Rootin' Rootin' Cowb...
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 5 - Get This Lady Away From My Grey-Ace Crossbowsexual
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - February 05, 2024 11:49 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 399 Uh oh, it seems like something has turned Johnny into beserker mode, where he's all fists and elbows. And that is Bianca. Johnny goes red-pill in the face of destroyed head canon in this terrifying episode of Square Roots as we drink from the Well of Sorrows. Also: ...
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 4 - Taking Two Barbie Dolls And Smushing Their Faces Together
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - January 29, 2024 08:18 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 398 There's mystery afoot as Johnny, Matthew and eventually Vanessa battle some possessed Wardens and fall into the Fade on this magical chunker of Dragon Age: Inquisition. Plus a battering ram shaped like a fist! Also: - Abblegation - Too Good Of A Singer - Counte...
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 3 - #YouGotGazooed
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - January 22, 2024 09:38 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 397 Finally we close the breach, and everything is perfect. Except that that dang ol' Corypheus has to go and ruin it all with a demon dragon and one of two possible henchpeople. Meanwhile Jim decides to start the internet hashtag goof of the decade! Also: - Just arctic...
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 2 - You're Missing Out On Voice Number 2
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - January 15, 2024 12:09 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 396 It's a PATRIOTS ONLY podcast. Our three hosts are RED, WHITE and BLUE. And these colours aren't busy at work. On this AMERICANS ONLY episode of Square Roots the fierce flag smoochers talk about what's up with the Templars mission Champions of the Just and recruit Vivi...
Dragon Age: Inquisition Part 1 - Fresh from the Phylactory
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - January 08, 2024 08:59 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 395 You've got to hand it to the Herald: their hand certainly is glowy, and has superpowers too! In this gripping first chunker of BioWare's Dragon Age: Inquisition we close gates to the fade, meet a horse man, stare at chest hair, and leave the hinterlands as soon as Sol...
Final Fantasy I Part 2 - Cozy Goodtimes
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - January 01, 2024 10:16 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsFinal Fantasy I Part 2 - Cozy Goodtimes Square Roots - Episode 394 Don't you just love having legs? You can waggle them, you can crisscrossapplesauce them, they have leg hands! And we use our JRPG legs through all the long walks and long dungeons of this limb-filled Square Roots episode ending...
Square Rooots Versus (An?) 8-Bit Christmas
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - December 25, 2023 09:28 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsHello friends! It's The Holiday Wintertime Goodtime Week so we are off carousing, carolling, controlling and blu cantrelling, and not podcasting. But that doesn't mean you can't have this fresh piece of Square Roots fruitcake from our archive! We watch the NPH 80s retro feature and give you o...
Final Fantasy I Part 1 - I Would Never Use THAC0 In Public
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - December 18, 2023 13:44 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 393 Oh wow! This is the oldest RPG we've done for a season! But none of us were ready for the adorable sprites and price-gouging magic dealers of Final Fantasy I! Also: - The Brown Crystal - Paul Giamatti Kisses a Woman - Super Into Creed - The Manana Origins - Ma...
Final Fantasy IV Part 5 - The Moon is For Boys
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - December 11, 2023 12:19 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 392 Even after his Retron5 deleted all his saves, Johnny and the rest of Square Roots Podcast really do finish Final Fantasy IV! There's some kind of whale on the moon, and some crystals I guess, and then the game decides to beat the last boss for you which was a bit of a...
Final Fantasy IV Part 4 - Everyone Loves a Penultimate Episode
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - December 04, 2023 12:55 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 391 Sadly Jim is missing on this party killing episode of Square Roots! So Vanessa, Johnny and Matthew finally get to visit a matriarchy, experience Rubicante's Sexy Leg Peek, and swap a few airships. Also: - Taskmaster VR - Scott Pilgrim Starring Mae West - Final Fan...
Final Fantasy IV Part 3 - Let Baigans Be Baigans
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - November 27, 2023 10:51 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 390 Much to Jim's delight things take a tragic turn in this dramatic chunker of Final Fantasy IV! There's self-sacrifice, double bump amnesia, betrayals, de-trayals, and even a fantastic journey to the center of the earth! Also: - Women Love Men Who Jump - Lussy - The...
Would You Eat This Bird 2023
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - November 20, 2023 09:21 - 52 minutes ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsHappy American Thanksgiving! Or, if you live elsewhere, the second to last week of November! In celebration of this holiday, and due to all of us travelling this week, please enjoy Johnny asks Matthew, Jim, Vanessa and Doctor Steven Stone: Would You Eat This Bird? Our Patreon: http://patreon...
Final Fantasy IV Part 2 - The Pasta Elemental
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - November 13, 2023 13:19 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 389 On this second chunker of Final Fantasy IV, Cecil drops the dark sword for something a little lamer. And the Square Roots crew, minus Vanessa who is spiralling into the air due to a malady, delights in the change and in the introduction of Milon / Scarmiglione. Oh, an...
Final Fantasy IV Part 1 - All Nut November
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - November 06, 2023 12:11 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 388 Anything could happen on Halloween! Silent Hill could turn into a show. We could all start playing Final Fantasy, the fourth just so you know. Number Five has its butts! Number six destroys the world! But on Halloween, your BLOOD begins to CURL. Something spooky's goi...
Fallout: New Vegas Part 9 - He Died Doing What He Loved
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - October 30, 2023 08:56 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 387 We did it! We finished Fallout: New Vegas! Matthew fades in and out of consciousness throughout this epic journey, but in this chunker we play through the DLC "Lonesome Road" as well as finishing the main campaign! There's radio negging, stopping (or helping) an assas...
Fallout: New Vegas Part 8 - Wing House Versus Wings Etcetera
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - October 23, 2023 10:17 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 386 It's time for the silly, Portal Inspired companion piece of DLC, Old World Blues, on this chunker of Fallout: New Vegas. Sure, we meet some robots terrified of our disgusting erect hand penises and Johnny kills more dogs, but that's just how Fallout is. Also: - Turn...
Fallout: New Vegas Part 7 - Turtle! Turtle! Turtle!
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - October 16, 2023 11:53 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 385 Finally wrapping up Dead Money we tackle the most important quest in Fallout: New Vegas: becoming Best Friends with Best Friend Tabitha! Or not, depending on how things play out for you. Also: RAUL! Also: - Anti-Circumcision Pokemon Stickers - A Human Head Shaped L...
Fallout: New Vegas Part 6 - Fat Bear Weak
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - October 09, 2023 08:48 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 384 We put off meeting Best Friend Tabitha for another week and instead learn all about the casino of the Sierra Madre, where a real Andrew Ryan takes us through the BioShockiest chunker of Fallout yet. Oh yeah, and Johnny gets a whole lot of people killed by the Brotherh...
Fallout: New Vegas Part 5 - Liza with a P
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast - October 02, 2023 10:41 - 2 hours ★★★★★ - 331 ratingsSquare Roots - Episode 383 Okay, we didn't hit our goal for this chunker again - we'll save dealing with the Brotherhood until next time. But this time on Square Roots we explore different methods of dealing with the Boomers and the Great Khans and continually tease how great Vault 34 is withou...
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