Latest Middlechild Podcast Episodes
Between Too Many Dating Apps and Show Business
Middle Children - October 16, 2023 15:47 - 1 hourJessie is back on the dating apps and wants to know why everyone is ugly now but also, somehow not funny. Chris is fed up with showbiz, specifically Ryan Murphy and his obsession with putting hot people who can't act into his TV shows. All we know is we're doing a live stream for Halloween and t...
Between Too Many Dating Apps and Show Business
Middle Children - October 16, 2023 15:47 - 1 hourJessie is back on the dating apps and wants to know why everyone is ugly now but also, somehow not funny. Chris is fed up with showbiz, specifically Ryan Murphy and his obsession with putting hot people who can't act into his TV shows. All we know is we're doing a live stream for Halloween and th...
Between Ballet As A Hobby and Day Time TV Choirs
Middle Children - October 09, 2023 13:55 - 58 minutesWith Halloween coming up, Jessie is a little worried about being possessed by demon. Chris doesn't think you can be considered a ballerina unless you've been paid to dance. Plus a very sexy Hallmark with a couple of choir stars and a little rough passion in a public bathroom. Tickets For The Tr...
Between Stealing Tuna And High Powered Private Detectives In Heels
Middle Children - October 02, 2023 14:42 - 1 hourChris and Jessie take a stroll down memory lane to relive the nightmare of some of their greatest food related embarrassments. Stolen tuna fish, weekends full of 15 doordash orders, and sneaking food out of the kitchen is just the beginning. Later we present a Hallmark straight from the 1940s wi...
Between Being 'She's All That'd' and Ranting and Raving
Middle Children - September 25, 2023 15:16 - 56 minutesChris is tired of all the flirting that just goes nowhere. Jessie loves a good flirt and shows off her baller status by buying coffee for a hot 50 year old on the coffee line. Later, an aborted Hallmark leads to an epic Middle Children rant about housing that the world NEEDS TO HEAR.
Between Male Therapists and Playing For Fun
Middle Children - September 18, 2023 12:42 - 1 hourChris has been riding a struggle bus on a freeway with no exits and is wondering when he can finally get off. Jessie wants to go to camp but doesn’t understand why all sports have to be played to win. We also feature a heartwarming hallmark featuring high powered toy executive decisions, an autu...
Between Living in Vans and Having An Existential Crisis
Middle Children - September 11, 2023 15:02 - 55 minutesJessie’s visit to the home of a friend with two children lights the fuse for and epic existential crisis. Is any place on earth safe for children? Does community still exist in modern day America? Should Chris and Jessie start a cult? All these questions and more, answered in this week’s action ...
Between The End of Movie Credits & Crushing Apples
Middle Children - September 04, 2023 14:25 - 1 hourWith the extinction of fun movie credit openings, Chris and Jessie discuss how they would start the movies they will be starring in. Jessie explains her plan to fix streaming, and Chris reveals his nit picks of “Schitts Creek”. Later we present to you a very jolly Hallmark filled with performers...
Between The End of Movie Credits & Crushing Apples
Middle Children - September 04, 2023 14:25 - 1 hourWith the extinction of fun movie credit openings, Chris and Jessie discuss how they would start the movies they will be starring in. Jessie explains her plan to fix streaming, and Chris reveals his nit picks of “Schitts Creek”. Later we present to you a very jolly Hallmark filled with performers ...
Between Hating Hot Tubs and Re-marketing Milk
Middle Children - August 28, 2023 08:00 - 1 hourJessie gets ready to push out of her comfort zone as she prepares for her first ever pole dancing class. Chris loves the concept of sex, but he can’t figure out why people like baths or hot tubs. Later we dial things back and simmer down with a wholesome rural Hallmark where we set out to save a...
Between Unlikely Movie Recs & Selling Swatches
Middle Children - August 21, 2023 23:48 - 1 hourWhat can we really say about steakhouses that are also a speakeasy? Necessary? Not likely. Chris tells the tale of his secret steakhouse adventure and admits to being knee deep in a rewatch of the “Fast and The Furious” franchise while Jessie has a fun interaction at the coffee shop initiated by...
Between Puffy Eyes & Voice Recordings
Middle Children - August 14, 2023 05:47 - 43 minutesJessie has a puffy eye, oh no! Chris is officially a Rumblehead, and we humble brag about working out. Does anyone actually like urgent care? We discuss dating app weirdness, Chris has been buying new furniture, new home = new him. We close with a gym vent including our opinions on short trainer...
Between Being Financial Gurus & Hashing Out School Trauma
Middle Children - August 07, 2023 04:57 - 43 minutesWe kick this one off with a rich bit. Do thin rich people really have it all? Once we get back into our own personalities Jessie let’s us in on her lonely weekend. Chris has been out of the city reconnecting with nature. We get into a fun conversation reminiscing about high school trauma. Would ...
Between Being Back & Being Back on Track
Middle Children - July 31, 2023 22:32 - 55 minutesWe’re back, with lots to share! Jessie has a new relationship status and took Winnie to the vet (you go girl), Chris has been traveling and has a question: How do you feel about liars? After discussion we hop into a Hallmark since it’s been forevaaa: Love Is Wild, a silly veterinary adventure si...
Between Beach Vacations & Being Haunted
Middle Children - June 26, 2023 04:00 - 42 minutesWe’re back! Chris is a lil bit sick, but has been busy trying to look great for Spain. Jessie’s family beach trip was a success! She loved the dynamic with her family, and it get us talking about the right way to make plans on vacation. Winnie is still avoiding the nail clippers, and Jessie’s wa...
Between Reality TV Blunders & Furniture Stores
Middle Children - June 12, 2023 16:39 - 52 minutesHas anyone ever thrown shade at you for singing? How do you feel about seagulls? Jessie is going on her family beach trip and bringing Tim! Chris just booked tickets to go to Spain for a beach trip too! We get into another Hallmark, this one is all about reality TV with all the usual humor. WE ...
Between Bloomingdales Blues & Learning to Tailor
Middle Children - June 05, 2023 04:00 - 48 minutesChafing season has arrived! Jessie wants to buy $1000 pants, Chris talks her out of it. All the new pants are low-rise anyways, how ridiculous! Jessie went shopping and Chris lets us in on how he feels about the stores she mentions. Do you agree prices are insane right now? We go over our retail...
Between Mommunes & Being Landlords
Middle Children - May 22, 2023 04:00 - 46 minutesThis great team is back! We chat about our summer plans, haunted hay rides, mommunes, communes and so much more in this one! We share how we want to live on the land and then catch up about Vanderpump Rules, what did you think about the finale? Chris got an air fryer, it has changed the game in ...
Between Doctors Without Borders & Brain Transplants
Middle Children - May 15, 2023 17:00 - 49 minutesOtis is sick with kennel cough, aw poor babe. Jessie hates going to the doctor but she powered through it! Do you have health insurance? This conversation leads us into a Hallmark about surgery: Doctors With Borders, we love getting to escape reality with you. Have you joined the Facebook group?
Between Running from Hail & Basic Brunchers
Middle Children - May 08, 2023 04:00 - 40 minutesChris’ birthday weekend in Denver went swell. His Red Rocks experience included hail, and he went to the aquarium! Jessie did end up going to karaoke with an open bar, guess what she sang? Have you watched Jury Duty yet? Chris watched the new Scream movie and is inspired to create a slasher. Jes...
Between Having Perfect Pitch & Becoming GOT Girlies
Middle Children - May 01, 2023 04:00 - 38 minutesWe kick this one off competing for no reason. Chris is traveling to Denver, and heading to a concert at Red Rocks to kick off his birthday weekend. Jessie’s morning started rough… Winnie had to get her nails cut. We’ve been working out and Jessie saw someone from her past at Orange Theory. Can ...
Between TSA Psychos & Going Down Under
Middle Children - April 24, 2023 06:14 - 43 minutesChris tells us about his TSA troubles, and how he prevailed in moments of chaos during the reunion party he hosted last week. Jessie has been doing well and kicks us off into another character building Hallmark: Claudia and Cliffy VanHuffington are back and in action people! Join ‘Stuck In The ...
Between Shallow LA & Terrible Dressing Rooms
Middle Children - April 17, 2023 04:00 - 38 minutesChris is hosting the Love Is Blind reunion party! Jessie’s eye is swelling up but she’s making it through. We catch up about what we have going on, Chris shares info about a Bumble encounter, we discuss travel plans, Los Angeles, and much more. Jessie has been thrifting and finding all the finds...
Between Mood Swings & Witch Worlds
Middle Children - April 10, 2023 04:00 - 41 minutesGreetings from the Himalayas. Do you wear Ugg boots? Chris is traveling and questioning Ugg’s manufacturing process, Jessie recently got back from Florida and her throat closed up. Spring is here! We finally pop into a Hallmark moment, Witches Of Sea-Salem: a behind the scenes peek as well as a ...
Between Clown Manicures & Party Poopers
Middle Children - March 27, 2023 14:44 - 41 minutesJessie got a manicure and we’re not so sure about it. Her sister is getting married: so we chat about the dress shopping, Jessie’s outfit for the event, as well as her upcoming travel plans. We discuss our party preferences, and find out how different our party expectations are. How long has it ...
Between Owning a Farm & Romantic Carnivals
Middle Children - March 21, 2023 00:27 - 46 minutesDo you want to invest in a farm? Jessie pitches her idea to Chris who reveals holes in the plan. Another option is an apple orchard, and there are so many revenue streams. Jessie is longing for a pool, so she’s been suit shopping. Do you have a favorite fair food? What’s your favorite ice cream ...
Between the Humble Bus & Creating A Witch World
Middle Children - March 13, 2023 11:35 - 50 minutesChris is feeling like Susan Honeybaker today. We give our moods out of 10, and Jessie’s traveling vet has retired. Do you love the bus? Chris tells another story from the dog park and we close with a classic Hallmark: The Hunt For The Mirrorball Cape!
Between Reality Raucous & Sunday Sermons
Middle Children - March 06, 2023 17:25 - 44 minutesJessie misses her mans, send her some love! Chris catches her up on some Vanderpump Rules drama. What Bravo reality show would you most want to be a part of? We aren’t going to the gym today, we wish we could swim. Do you like being told what to wear at a wedding? We discuss situations where you...
Between Middle Children Diner & Romantic Carnival Foods
Middle Children - February 27, 2023 18:43 - 46 minutesJessie is feeling on top of the world! Chris is feeling great too without nuts in his diet, who know the cashews were affecting him so much. We chat about Jessie’s travel plans and her name phobia. Chris speaks on his doggy business ventures. Do you like rollercoasters? We’re split on them. Them...
Between Terrible Oscar Films & Joining Cults
Middle Children - February 20, 2023 16:25 - 49 minutesWe don’t love the weather right now. Would you ever live in Miami? Do you love picnics? What about the beach? Do you think you’d join a cult? We answer some of life’s big questions on this episode. Chris recaps Triangle of Sadness, Jessie recounts her experience with hand foot and mouth disease....
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