Latest Joshua porter Podcast Episodes
Patch #102 - How To Try Before You Buy
Welcome To Patchwork - July 19, 2022 17:27 - 41 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsThis week we give you the indispensable instruction manual on how to properly try shoes, clothes and cars. Dion gives us a surprise Roobois Challenge, and Christian writes the rulebook for when you can return items to a store. Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on ...
Patch #101 - How To Record A Podcast
Welcome To Patchwork - July 05, 2022 20:06 - 49 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsDion, Christian and Josh are back for Season 7! Join the boys as they cast their minds all the way back to Episode 1 nearly five years ago. They discuss their updated 2022 insecurities, Dion gives an update on his never-ending revolving door of hairdressers, and of course, what they are now Doye...
Patch #100 - Is Saying Hello Or Goodbye More Important? (Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2022)
Welcome To Patchwork - June 21, 2022 17:30 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsPatch 100 was recorded LIVE at Brunswick Ballroom on April 9 2022 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Josh confronts Dion about something he noticed whilst editing the podcast, we prioritise hellos and goodbyes and finally, discuss making room for dessert. We were als...
Quick Update & Planning For Season 7
Welcome To Patchwork - June 06, 2022 17:30 - 25 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsAfter months of radio silence, Christian, Dion and Josh are on the mend and ready to return. We wanted to record a quick update to let you know what we've been up to the last few months and our plans to return for Season 7. Thank you for holding down the fort. We're back!... That is our ...
Patchwork Rewind #2: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 2)
Welcome To Patchwork - March 29, 2022 16:30 - 50 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsFor the second week running, to whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 2 last year. Get your tickets to this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here! https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-...
2022 Comedy Festival (Sat 9 April) - Do You Tell People At Work If It's Your Birthday?
Welcome To Patchwork - March 23, 2022 16:28 - 6 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWe're performing our 100th episode live show baby! Listen to this short little trailer while booking tickets to our bloody show. With special guests comedians Meshel Laurie and Daniel Connell! Also jump on any of our social media channels to see this audio recording brought to life in 4-DIMENSIO...
Patchwork Rewind #1: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 1)
Welcome To Patchwork - March 22, 2022 16:30 - 39 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsTo whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 1 last year. Get your tickets for this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode Recorded LIVE on...
Patch #99 - When Is It Appropriate To Compliment A Stranger?
Welcome To Patchwork - March 08, 2022 17:00 - 36 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian received a wonderful compliment while riding his bike and he was thoroughly chuffed. He tells us about how chuffed he was. Megachuffed. Josh has big issues with message reactions. What was wrong with a good 'haha' or a 'lol' - there's too many options now and it's an absolute disgr...
Patch #98 - How Generously Should You Spread Butter On Toast?
Welcome To Patchwork - February 22, 2022 17:00 - 36 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsJosh wonders why Christian and Dion chose to print their name while signing the pair of elf slippers ew auctioned off. Turns out Christian would rather get a celebrity print their name rather than sign it. We all agree that shopping centre interactive maps are very confronting and give you a...
Patch #97 - Would You Accept A Reward For Finding A Lost Pet?
Welcome To Patchwork - February 08, 2022 17:00 - 37 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsJosh attempts (and fails) to set the record straight about drinking Dion's beer - turns out he's technically correct, the best kind of correct, but morally bankrupt. Christian's shares his latest get rich quick scheme which is pet-napping. We also realise that losing your wallet isn't anywhere n...
Patch #96 - Is It Uncool To Plan An Overseas Trip In A Spreadsheet?
Welcome To Patchwork - January 25, 2022 16:00 - 30 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWe're back baby! With a very special announcement and some classic Patchwork. There's bones to be picked and befores to get started. Christian takes issue with Josh trying to sell some Elf Slippers online which spirals into some hairbrained scheme of Christian's to list brand new clothes onl...
Patch #95 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2021
Welcome To Patchwork - December 21, 2021 17:00 - 37 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsMerry Christmas Patchworkers! In our annual Christmas episode we cover the Christmas menu. How fixed is your families Christmas menu? Do new dishes ever make it on? Christian has been trying (and failing) to add vegan dishes to his heavily Italian Christmas to no avail. Maybe 2021 will be the ye...
Patch #94 - How Urgently Do You Fill Up A Low Petrol Tank?
Welcome To Patchwork - December 14, 2021 17:00 - 39 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsThere's yet another twist to the saga of Samantha the turtle! Let's hope Josh stops milking a lost turtle for content, after this week. We find out who among us holds the record for 'most times car has completely run out of petrol' and how lazy they are. We fully cover our strategies for fil...
Patch #93 - What’s The Furthest You’d Walk To An Event?
Welcome To Patchwork - November 30, 2021 17:00 - 33 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsTurns out that Dion hates a meandering walk but Christian and Josh love to go for a trot - conversation ensues. We find out our limits for how far we're willing to walk and under what conditions. Christian also reveals something shocking about his feet. We also take a trip to the tuck shop a...
What’s The Furthest You’d Walk To An Event?
Welcome To Patchwork - November 30, 2021 17:00 - 33 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsTurns out that Dion hates a meandering walk but Christian and Josh love to go for a trot - conversation ensues. We find out our limits for how far we're willing to walk and under what conditions. Christian also reveals something shocking about his feet. We also take a trip to the tuck shop and ...
Patch #92 - How Should You Pass The Time Whilst Waiting For A Food Delivery?
Welcome To Patchwork - November 16, 2021 17:00 - 32 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWe discuss if it's ok to simply hang up a phone call while it's ringing, or if you should let it ring out to be polite. Christian thinks that under no circumstance can you hang up and he takes us through his '4 ring classification system'. We also delve into what kind of activities are permitted...
Patch #91 - How I Became Friends With Kamahl
Welcome To Patchwork - November 02, 2021 16:00 - 33 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian picks a bone with Josh's tuneless whistling. We discuss what we've been up to since lockdown has lifted here in Melbourne. Number one post lockdown activity on Dion's list was a hair cut - is that weird? I rekon it's a bit weird. Christian is desperate to get into a store and sit on a ...
Patch #90 - Are You Ever The First Person To Clap?
Welcome To Patchwork - October 19, 2021 16:00 - 36 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsHow confident are you in being that first person to put their hands together at the end of a performance? It's a big risk, what if you get it wrong? They'll boo you out of the theatre, probably. We also critique those pointless empty gestures like pretending to pick something up that's fallen ov...
Patch #89 - Should You Peel The Foil Entirely Off A Dip?
Welcome To Patchwork - October 05, 2021 16:00 - 36 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWe talk animal shelters, flat tyres and delivery estimate etiquette. Josh clumisly wades into dog eugenics while Christian can't stop talking about sexy dogs. We also go deep on dip. Should the foil stay or go once the seal has been broken? We just can't decide, what do you rekon? We also di...
Patch #88 - What Turns A Catch-Up Into A Night Out?
Welcome To Patchwork - September 21, 2021 17:00 - 37 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratings"The boys are back in town, the boys are back in towwwnnnn." *sung to the tune of "Boys Are Back In Town". While we've been hating our lives in lockdown, Dion's been gardening and ruminating on what could've been if he'd ever got a job at Bunnings. We give some advice to a Patreon in need wh...
Lockdown Update
Welcome To Patchwork - September 16, 2021 04:33 - 5 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsHello Patchworkers, it's been too long! Sorry for not communicating clearly with you as to what's been going on with the show. The short version is: 'it's been a bit shit during lockdown here in Melbourne, hasn't it?'. A juicy update for you all as we get back into it! Patchreons, keep an eye o...
Patch #87 - Do You Need To Leave A Light On When Someone Leaves The House?
Welcome To Patchwork - August 03, 2021 17:00 - 33 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratings'What is the purpose of the front porch light if not to be left on for members of the household currently out of the house!?' says Josh indignantly during this episode. He's sick of fumbling with his keys while Christian sits inside laughing at how much electricity he's saving. The trio also pon...
Patch #86 - What Is A Reasonable Reaction To Seeing A Mouse?
Welcome To Patchwork - July 20, 2021 17:00 - 29 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWhat is the etiquette surrounding after hours emails? Is there such a thing as an over-enthusiastic active listener? And Dion is shocked by Christian and Josh's reaction to seeing a mouse in their house - you won't believe what he says! With very special guests 'Sound Check and of course 'Real...
Live at the Melbourne Podcast Festival - Sunday 1st August
Welcome To Patchwork - July 08, 2021 17:00 - 2 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsGrab your tickets to our next live show as part of the Melbourne Podcast Festival! Join us at the Jam Factory on Sunday August 1st at 2:15pm. https://melbournepodcastfestival.com/podcast/welcome-to-patchwork/ Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/liste...
Patch #85 - Whose Responsibility Is It To Remove Tissues From Pockets Before A Wash?
Welcome To Patchwork - July 06, 2021 17:30 - 29 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsHow do you apply sauce to your food? Are you a side or top saucer? Can you defer a house tour? What do you point out when giving someone a tour of your house? Whose responsibility is it to check pockets for tissues before a wash? Do you enjoy the feeling of a warm towel after a shower? With ver...
Patch #84 - How Much Water Should You Add To An Empty Shampoo Bottle?
Welcome To Patchwork - June 22, 2021 17:00 - 36 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsDion encourages thieves to steal his car; Josh takes a nap, fully clothed; we discuss the lengths we all go to when using up the last little bits of a product and we help another listener who calls in to the Patchwork Helpline. With very special guests, Copy Cat, and Wheel of Fortune Cookie. A...
Patch #84 - How Much Water Should You Add to an Empty Shampoo Bottle?
Welcome To Patchwork - June 22, 2021 17:00 - 36 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsDion encourages thieves to steal his car; Josh takes a nap, fully clothed; we discuss the lengths we all go to when using up the last little bits of a product and we help another listener who calls in to the Patchwork Helpline. With very special guests, Copy Cat, and Wheel of Fortune Cookie. Al...
Patch #83 - Do You Have A Strategy For Finding A Car Spot?
Welcome To Patchwork - June 08, 2021 17:30 - 38 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsJosh and Christian argue over a dinner order that never came to fruition; what is your strategy for finding a car spot? what is your desert island vegetable? what prompts you to leave an online review? With very special guests, Oh Wow and 'Nearly' Good. Support the show: https://www.patreo...
Patch #82 - Can You Ask A Friend To Put Their Phone On Silent?
Welcome To Patchwork - May 25, 2021 17:30 - 28 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsIf you buy someone a lottery ticket and they win a prize, are you entitled to the rewards? Can you flip another person's phone over if it's distracting? Can you turn that same phone onto silent mode? Dion tells us the real story behind his Dad's Italian leather jacket swindle. With very spec...
Patch #81 - How Should You React When Someone Uses A Word You Don't Know?
Welcome To Patchwork - May 11, 2021 17:30 - 32 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsJosh calls out Dion's birthday hypocracy; how do you remember to say happy birthday to somone? What is your reaction to someone who uses a word you don't know? Plus we open the Patchwork Helpline for the very first time and see if we can help a Patchworker cross the line from client to friend wi...
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