Latest Joshua porter Podcast Episodes
Patch #127 - Is A Sniff More Annoying Than A Cough?
Welcome To Patchwork - April 30, 2024 17:30 - 43 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian is sick! He's sick and selfish. He begins the Patch by telling Josh and Dion about the poor decision he made to ride public transport while sick and the consequent pressure of having to 'cover up' his illness. After some light berating, we get to the heart of the matter, which is more ...
Patch #126 - Are You Ever Obliged To Give Up A Parking Spot?
Welcome To Patchwork - April 16, 2024 17:30 - 40 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian found a fantastic parking spot opposite the church at his nephew’s christening but isn’t sure whether the spot should be reserved for immediate family. Dion quickly finds a parallel to another moment Christian found a premium parking spot on the day of his auction. Does the finders kee...
Patch #125 - Do You Confidently Slice Food In Half?
Welcome To Patchwork - April 02, 2024 16:30 - 43 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian has finally found the elderly neighbours he’s been looking for and, typically, they came in the form of a bowl of tomatoes. Dion questions the neighbours' motives and warns Christian by recounting the parable of his neighbour in sheep’s clothing. We then chat about rubbish collection a...
Patch #124 - How Should You Subtly Glance At Someone?
Welcome To Patchwork - March 19, 2024 16:30 - 41 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsOhhhhh wow! We're back from 7 months off and we're out of practice. We kick off by recalling a micro highlight from our trips abroad: Christian visited a Christian themed amusement park, Dion visited a capybara themed amusement park for ducks and Josh watched a man interact with natural history....
Goodbye...for now
Welcome To Patchwork - August 01, 2023 17:30 - 2 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsDearest Patchworkers, we're taking a bit of a break. Christian is doing some extended travel so there won't be regular releases for pretty much the rest of the year. We can't thank you enough for your support over the last 6 years. Looking forward to being back in your favourite podcatcher some...
Patch #123 - How Should You Kill Time At A Chemist?
Welcome To Patchwork - July 18, 2023 17:30 - 46 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian receives a mysterious hand gesture from a concerned citizen but manages to decipher it. We also ponder the age old question - what's the difference between 'tips' and 'advice'? Christian's psych definitely got it wrong when asked about travel tips. This conversation devolves into Chr...
Patch #122 - Is It Rude To Text Someone During A Speech?
Welcome To Patchwork - July 04, 2023 17:30 - 41 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian questions whether Josh can sell his abandoned basketball for profit. He's simply a man looking for answers. Josh's comedy group Game Boys won a freakin Green Room Award! So we discuss what genuine surprises we still have in life and if it's rude to send messages and be on social medi...
Patch #121 - Are You Easily Embarrassed In Public?
Welcome To Patchwork - June 20, 2023 17:30 - 43 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian and Josh open this episode with a rather frank discussion about the many hairstyles of the artist P!NK. We explore the unspoken bravery of dying her hair blonde and her notoriety in Australia. Christian then finds a subtle way to tell Josh he's balding and shouldn't colour his hair. ...
Patch #120 - Do You Shake Hands With Friends?
Welcome To Patchwork - June 06, 2023 17:30 - 43 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsJosh hosted another party and this time he's taking aim at those partygoers who take other people's drinks. Is it expected that the host will supply drinks? Should you be precious about the drinks you bring to a party? Dion then asks Christian and Josh for the right context in which a handshak...
Patch #119 - Should You Wait For Others Before Eating?
Welcome To Patchwork - May 23, 2023 17:00 - 40 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWe’re back, again! Jeez, we spend a lot time not recording this podcast. Anyway, you get what you’re given. If you want more, become a Patreon! This Patch opens with Dion telling us about his recent trip to Texas and a close call with a tornado. We then discuss people who think they’re cool for ...
PatchGPT
Welcome To Patchwork - May 10, 2023 17:00 - 4 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsPrepare for an outrageous and side-splitting comedy experience in this special episode of our podcast! Brace yourself for a laughter-filled adventure as the entire episode has been crafted by the comedic genius of ChatGPT, the AI language model with an uncanny knack for humour. Get ready to be ...
Patch #118 - Do You Need Total Darkness To Fall Asleep?
Welcome To Patchwork - April 04, 2023 17:30 - 45 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsOpen wide and come inside! For this Patch, we've each written a new catchphrase that we'll drop into the episode at an appropriate time (and by appropriate time, we mean somewhere in the first 10 minutes because we were all too excited to hold on to them). Christian asks Josh and Dion to be a s...
Patch #117 - Do You Make New Plans After An Event Is Cancelled?
Welcome To Patchwork - March 21, 2023 16:30 - 42 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsJosh is woken up by the incessant banging of some tradesmen and Christian and Dion wonder whether this could be improving Josh's life. We then discuss why tradies need to start work so early? Christian then tells Josh and Dion about feeling relief about an upcoming event being cancelled. He see...
Patch #116 - How Much Finger Food Can You Take From A Tray?
Welcome To Patchwork - March 07, 2023 16:30 - 37 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsJosh calls out Dion for asking a friend to hotspot internet so he could top up his phone credit, Dion vehemently tries to defend himself by revealing that he actually purchased his sim card from a supermarket. It becomes clear that no one is right and we've wasted each others time and energy; mu...
Patch #115 - How Do You Find The Toilet In A Restaurant?
Welcome To Patchwork - February 21, 2023 16:30 - 39 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsChristian kicks off this episode by wishing himself an early happy birthday and then asks Dion and Josh how they feel about receiving 'happy birthday' messages before their actual birthday. Does receiving an early birthday message change the sentiment? Or is it the same as receiving it on the da...
Patch #114 - When Do You Save Someone As A Contact?
Welcome To Patchwork - February 07, 2023 16:30 - 35 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWe're back for Season 8 baby! To kick it all off, Christian takes aim at Josh for giving him 1 hour to confirm he was available for a catchup before making other plans. Josh tell us about his frustration at some unsaved numbers in a friendly WhatsApp thread which leads us to ask - when should y...
Patch #113 - How To Handle The Heat
Welcome To Patchwork - January 24, 2023 16:30 - 38 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsAs summer heats up (or you're listening to this in winter and have got the heater on really high), it's time we taught you how to beat the heat! We start by talking about the moment we 'know summer has arrived', the ozone layer and how we fixed the whole CFC thing?!! Right? Dion then takes us t...
Patch #112 - How To Go Grocery Shopping
Welcome To Patchwork - December 06, 2022 16:30 - 39 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsGrab a handful of canvas bags and a gold coin because Welcome to Patchwork is teaching you how to go grocery shopping. What prompts you to go grocery shopping? How do you manage your shopping list? What's your shopping strategy once you step foot inside the supermarket? If you lose the person y...
Patch #111 - How To Recycle
Welcome To Patchwork - November 22, 2022 16:30 - 39 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsIn Patch 111, we rip the sticky tape off our cardboard packaging and chat all things recycling. We begin by asking ourselves why we recycle. Is it for the environment? Or is it to avoid the scorn of others? We explore why Josh goes through his housemate's rubbish, the magic and mystery of where...
Patch #110 - How To Wait In A Line
Welcome To Patchwork - November 08, 2022 16:30 - 42 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsIn Patch 110, we cloak our jackets, skip the queue and talk all things waiting in line. We start by exploring each of our first instincts when approaching a line. Josh establishes the core types of line: single, mess and multi-stream, whilst Christian declares himself a Line Captain. Is Dion cu...
Patch #109 - How To Declutter Your Home
Welcome To Patchwork - October 25, 2022 16:30 - 41 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsIn Patch 109, we roll around in the mud, feed from the trough and eventually discuss all things clutter and collectibles. We start by exploring how to best hide clutter in your very own home. Whether it's in piles, hidden in storage containers or blocking a robot vacuum, our clutter manifest...
Patch #108 - How To Send A Text Message
Welcome To Patchwork - October 11, 2022 16:30 - 44 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsBUMP! In Patch 108, we make sure our phone credit is topped up as we step into the world of text messaging. Josh encourages Christian and Dion to become cryptographers as we try to text-spell famous abbreviations; we dissect swiping on a keyboard and many other methods for typing; Christian ...
Patch #107 - How To Get Dressed For The Day
Welcome To Patchwork - September 27, 2022 17:30 - 35 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsFrom preparing the night before to cuffing your sleeves, Patch 107 covers the gamut of a morning dress up routine. Josh talks us through the first thing he does in the morning before putting on clothes; Christian explores the relationship between wearing nice clothes and being productive and Dio...
Patch #106 - How To Enjoy A Flight
Welcome To Patchwork - September 13, 2022 17:30 - 34 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsPlease keep your seatbelts fastened for Patch 106 as we teach you how to enjoy a flight! We start by covering what we pack in our carry on: Josh is obsessed with charging his devices, Dion has an interesting kind of neck pillow and Christian reflects on a magical moment with a reclining Ital...
Patch #105 - How To Choose A Restaurant
Welcome To Patchwork - August 30, 2022 17:30 - 36 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWe all enjoy eating at restaurants. But have you ever really thought about how or why we choose those restaurants? In this Patch, we dive into some of the key considerations that go into picking a restaurant. Are you swayed by spruikers throwing in a glass of wine? Will you pick a 'feed me' opti...
Patch #104 - How To Open A Door
Welcome To Patchwork - August 16, 2022 17:30 - 48 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWe navigate the difficult questions and considerations around walking through doors. First door in our line of sight is the revolving door. After dissecting some of the nuances of entering one of the revolving door 'slices', we look at some of the other classic doors: sliding doors, fly-screens,...
Patch #103 - How To Enjoy Your Birthday
Welcome To Patchwork - August 02, 2022 17:50 - 44 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsShould you wish someone happy birthday in a group thread if you've already wished them happy birthday in your own separate thread. We also ponder what questions you should ask someone on their birthday. Plus Christian reveals how many of his childhood birthdays were spent at Crown: A World of En...
Patch #102 - How To Try Before You Buy
Welcome To Patchwork - July 19, 2022 17:27 - 41 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsThis week we give you the indispensable instruction manual on how to properly try shoes, clothes and cars. Dion gives us a surprise Roobois Challenge, and Christian writes the rulebook for when you can return items to a store. Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on ...
Patch #101 - How To Record A Podcast
Welcome To Patchwork - July 05, 2022 20:06 - 49 minutes ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsDion, Christian and Josh are back for Season 7! Join the boys as they cast their minds all the way back to Episode 1 nearly five years ago. They discuss their updated 2022 insecurities, Dion gives an update on his never-ending revolving door of hairdressers, and of course, what they are now Doye...
Patch #100 - Is Saying Hello Or Goodbye More Important? (Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2022)
Welcome To Patchwork - June 21, 2022 17:30 - 1 hour ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsPatch 100 was recorded LIVE at Brunswick Ballroom on April 9 2022 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Josh confronts Dion about something he noticed whilst editing the podcast, we prioritise hellos and goodbyes and finally, discuss making room for dessert. We were als...
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