Latest Gymkommentary Podcast Episodes

GYMKOMMENTARY #16: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

Gymkommentary! - January 30, 2012 02:02 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
Every saga has a beginning. A confusing, boring, vaguely racist beginning. The Tale of the Tape Film: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) Director: George Lucas Runtime: 500 million minutes (or 136 minutes; hard to say when you're watching it) Genre: Disgraceful Prequel Stars: Liam...

GYMKOMMENTARY #15: Revenge of the Ninja

Gymkommentary! - November 28, 2011 03:33 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
Go ninja go ninja go! Go ninja go ninja go! Go ninja go ninja go! Go go go go! No seriously: GO. You suck. No, you can't have a ride home. I don't care. Take the bus or something. The Tale of the Tape Film: Revenge of the Ninja (1983) Director: Sam Firstenberg Runtime: 90 minutes Genre: ...

GYMKOMMENTARY #14: I Know Who Killed Me

Gymkommentary! - June 17, 2011 04:42 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
A lot of the movies we cover on Gymkommentary are torture to watch. But we've never really tried doing this with something billed as torture porn. Now I don't know who killed me, but I do know what movie almost killed me: THIS ONE. The Tale of the Tape Film: I Know Who Killed Me (2007) Direc...

GYMKOMMENTARY #13: Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Gymkommentary! - October 15, 2010 05:10 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
Star Trek movies. The final frontier. These are the commentary tracks of the website Gymkommentary. Its continuing mission: to make fun of terrible films, to seek out new cinematic garbage and new celluloid travesties. To boldly mock where we're pretty sure at least a couple others have mocke...

GYMKOMMENTARY #12: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Gymkommentary! - April 22, 2010 04:26 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
The Gymkommentarians. They're the best there is at what they do. And what they do is watch crummy movies and make fun of them. (OK, yes, well technically, there's a bunch of other people who are better at it, and who make a nice living doing it. But given the fact that Matt and Chris both have...

GYMKOMMENTARY #11: Righteous Kill

Gymkommentary! - March 01, 2010 14:20 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
They are the two greatest actors of their generation. And in 2008, as the culmination of legendary, Academy Award-winning careers, they had their finest achievement. And by their finest achievement I mean their most unintentionally hilarious movie of either of their careers. That's how we meas...

GYMKOMMENTARY #10: The Stabilizer

Gymkommentary! - February 01, 2010 05:12 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
Merriam-Webster defines a stabilizer as "a substance added to another substance or to a system (as an emulsion) to prevent or retard an unwanted alteration of physical state." Merriam-Webster can go eff himself. Wait, is Merriam-Webster two dudes or one dude with one of those hyphenated last ...

GYMKOMMENTARY #9: Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus

Gymkommentary! - January 02, 2010 19:09 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
Silent for much of the second half of 2009, Gymkommentary returns to kick off 2010 with a vengeance! No, we're not doing Die Hard With a Vengeance. Please stop being more clever than us. Thanks. The Tale of the Tape Film: Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus (2009) Director: Ace Hannah Runtime: 90...

GYMKOMMENTARY #8: Universal Soldier: The Return

Gymkommentary! - August 27, 2009 06:22 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
Like Jean-Claude Van Damme, Grover Cleveland, or that case of herpes you got in Sausalito, Gymkommentary has returned! The Tale of the Tape Film: Universal Soldier: The Return (1999) Director: Mic Rodgers Runtime: 82 minutes Genre: Needless Action Franchise Prolonger Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme...

GYMKOMMENTARY #7: The Scorpion King

Gymkommentary! - July 30, 2009 00:02 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
He killed Babylonians. He killed Mesopotamians. But he was no match for: Gymkommentarians. The Tale of the Tape Film: The Scorpion King (2002) Director: Chuck Russell Runtime: 92 minutes Genre: Sandalsploitation Stars: The Rock, Steven Brand, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kelly Hu, Peter Facinelli R...

GYMKOMMENTARY #6: Rambo: First Blood Part II

Gymkommentary! - March 11, 2009 04:13 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
It's a long road, when you're on your own. And it hurts when they tear your dreams apart. And it's a longer road, when you're with the Gymkommentators. And it hurts when they never shut their mouths. The Tale of the Tape Film: Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) Director: George P. Cosmatos Run...

GYMKOMMENTARY #5: The Wicker Man (2006)

Gymkommentary! - February 13, 2009 02:35 ★★★★★ - 6 ratings
Okay everyone! Look at the camera and say "How'd it get burned?!? HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?" The Tale of the Tape Film: The Wicker Man (2006) Director: Neil LaBute Runtime: 102 minutes Genre: Regrettable Remake Stars: Nicholas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Leelee Sobieski Rated: PG-13 for Int...