Your Partner’s Addiction
100 episodes - English - Latest episode: 9 months ago -In a world that tells you to “just leave them, already,” Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers Tracy teaches you how to tune in to your own inner guidance about what is best for you when coping with your partner’s substance use or addictive behavior. You don’t need advice, you need to learn how to trust yourself and your decisions. Using your own thoughts as the key to your emotional freedom, you’ll learn how to release your anxiety, worry and codependent tendencies so you can show up for yourself and your partner in a powerful way. You don’t have to let your partner’s addiction rule your life, regardless of whether you want to stay or go. To work with Karilyn, visit https://karilyniverscoaching.godaddysites.com/
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Episodes
Relapse Guilt
April 05, 2021 11:00 - 13 minutes - 9.4 MBHas your partner relapsed recently? Is there a part of you, even a teeny tiny part, that feels kinda guilty or responsible for your partner's relapse? Well, you're not alone because A LOT of us do. In this episode I'm exploring the ROOT CAUSE of why we feel like this and how to change it. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/43 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyniv...
Obsessive Thinking
March 29, 2021 11:00 - 14 minutes - 10.1 MBObsessive thinking is a VERY common trap for all of my clients who are in relationships with someone struggling with an addiction and even those who have recently ended their relationship. In this episode, you'll learn: What obsessive thinking is How it creates a thought trap in your brain What to do about it For more information and the full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/42 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach...
My Take on Narcissists
March 22, 2021 11:00 - 17 minutes - 12.3 MBI have a bit of a different opinion on the whole "narcissist + codependent" thing than most of the internet these days. In this episode, I'm going to explore how we tend to think of narcissists and how that affects US and our own healing. You'll learn: What actually matters when discussing narcissism and what doesn't How you may be negatively impacting your own healing How to correct that ;-) Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact m...
The Benefit of Conflict
March 15, 2021 11:00 - 14 minutes - 9.81 MBIf you're like most of my clients, you hate conflict. Or, conflict takes over your relationship on a daily basis. In this episode, you'll learn WHY it's so crucial to lean into the discomfort of conflict, how it will improve your relationship, and how to do it. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/40 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyniverscoach
When They Threaten Self Harm
March 08, 2021 12:00 - 14 minutes - 9.88 MBIt's not uncommon for my client's partners to threaten self harm in order to keep the relationship from ending. If this has happened to you, you know how terrifying it can be. So what do you do when you want to end the relationship but don't want to be responsible for something bad happening to them? In this episode I'll discuss: When talk of suicide is a manipulation vs. a cry for help What YOU can do in either situation How your beliefs about death may be keeping you stuck For more in...
Money Codependency
March 01, 2021 12:00 - 13 minutes - 8.96 MBMoney codependency affects people from EVERY financial bracket. Regardless of the number in your bank account, you have thoughts about what money is supposed to do for you. In this episode, I share the journey of my own codependent relationship with money and how YOU can claim the emotional (and financial) freedom that is waiting for you. If you're a human, this episode is for you. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/38. Support the show The Your Pa...
Dating After Addiction
February 22, 2021 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBDating after a traumatic relationship can be a total mindf*ck. There are a few guidelines that will set you up for success, however. In this episode you’ll learn: This biggest mistake people make after a breakup The qualities that will help you heal from a traumatic relationship How to know when you’re ready to date again What to expect when you start dating and how to handle it! For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/37 Support the show The Your Partne...
Lying To Yourself
February 15, 2021 12:00 - 19 minutes - 13.1 MBWe think that the WORST thing we can do is be honest about what we really want - because that could hurt someone's feelings. Or worse, make them MAD at us. But that's not the worst thing that can happen when you lie to yourself about what's true for you. In this episode, I discuss: The REAL worst case scenario when you lie to yourself How I've learned how to be honest with myself - and the people in my life How you can practice this skill too For more information and full show notes, v...
Arguing For Your Limitations
February 08, 2021 12:00 - 13 minutes - 9.52 MBThere will always be a million reasons why you can't get what you want in life. But so what? There are also reasons why you CAN. In this episode, you'll learn exactly how you've been keeping yourself from getting what you want - a healthy relationship - and how you can change that moving forward. For more information and full show notes, visit www.karilynivers.com/podcast/35 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instag...
The Power of Anger
February 01, 2021 12:00 - 13 minutes - 9.45 MBAnger can be one of the most useful emotions we experience - depending on how we respond to it. You might be the kind of person who prefers to avoid or suppress their anger in order to keep the peace, or you might be the kind of person who is highly reactive to their anger and later regrets their explosive reaction. In this episode, I'll speak to both of those tendencies and how to connect to your anger in a healthy way that can actually move you forward in life; not hold you back. For m...
Am I Ready For Coaching?
January 25, 2021 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.4 MBThere are some big red flags that I see often that tell me when someone is NOT ready to work with a coach. Even if they think they want to, they simply may not be ready. Others are totally ready to work with a coach, but a few specific things hold them back from taking action. In this episode you'll learn if YOU are ready for coaching or not. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/33 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently clos...
Becoming Un-Offendable
January 18, 2021 12:00 - 17 minutes - 12 MBYour partner said or did something that offended you. What do you do? You either crumble under the possibility that they're actually right about you and you deserve that kind of behavior, or you explode with anger and make sure they know how wrong they are. How's that working for ya? In this episode, you'll learn how to become un-offendable, and WHY it's such an important skill for you to cultivate. For more information and the full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/32. Support...
Punishment Doesn't Work
January 11, 2021 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.6 MBHow do you normally react to your partner when they've done something you don't like? If you're like my clients, you get really upset and resort to some sort of emotional "punishment" like angry words or the silent treatment. This week, you'll learn why punishment isn't as effective as you think it is, and what to do instead. For full show notes and more information about how to work with me, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/31. Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is curr...
Absolute Worthiness
December 21, 2020 12:00 - 13 minutes - 9.22 MBWhat makes us "worthy" of the relationship we want? In this episode, you'll learn: What your worth is based on Why you're frustrated that others don't see your worth What's keeping you from experiencing the love and respect you want and deserve How to GET what you want and deserve! For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/30 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyniversc...
How to Trust
December 14, 2020 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.2 MBThere are a few things getting in the way of trust in your relationship. It's not your partner or their addiction - it's something that is much more insidious. In this episode I'll lay out a few misconceptions you may have about what it means to rebuild trust in a relationship, and the BEST way to think about trust in a way that will help you build it once and for all. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/29 Support the show The Your Partner's Addictio...
One Year in Business
December 07, 2020 12:00 - 14 minutes - 10.2 MBEver felt like you wanna pass out, throw up and cry at the same time? Yeah, that's how I felt when I quit my corporate job to be a full time life coach. In this episode I chat about what this year has been like and share some amazing stories from the clients I've worked with so far in 2020. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/28 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karil...
Expecting Too Much
November 30, 2020 12:00 - 12 minutes - 8.48 MBWhile reading a book recently, I had a revelation about how I (and my clients) have been operating in life in a way that makes things way harder than they need to be. We're expecting too much - and not enough. Listen to the full episode if you're ready to let yourself off the hook. For more information and the full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/27 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilynivers...
Listener Q&A Part 1
November 23, 2020 12:00 - 27 minutes - 18.8 MBThis week I'm answering 10 questions from YOU about relationships with someone struggling with an addiction. Looking for a specific question? See timestamps below. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/26 00:00:46 - If you've left your addictive partner, but they are now in recovery, is it safe to go back? 00:04:31 - Examples of couples who have recovered? 00:06:56 - Can you ever forgive? How can I see my partner as a person after everything he's done?...
Your Questions Answered
November 23, 2020 12:00 - 27 minutes - 18.8 MBThis week I'm answering 10 questions from YOU about relationships with someone struggling with an addiction. Looking for a specific question? See timestamps below. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/26 00:00:46 - If you've left your addictive partner, but they are now in recovery, is it safe to go back? 00:04:31 - Examples of couples who have recovered? 00:06:56 - Can you ever forgive? How can I see my partner as a person after everything he's done?...
Clarity and Closure
November 16, 2020 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBWhen you're confused about what to do regarding your relationship, or when your relationship ends without every little loose end tied up...how do you move forward? Most of my clients think that their partner (or ex) needs to do something or say something that will help them figure it out. But this is just a trap that will leave them confused forever. In this episode, learn how to create clarity and closure regarding your relationship WITHOUT needing anything from your partner or ex. Fo...
Emotions Explained
November 09, 2020 12:00 - 12 minutes - 8.9 MBMost of us are confused about emotions. We don't understand the cause of our emotions, let alone the purpose for them. In this episode, I'm going to explain what emotions actually are, why they're so important to us as human beings, and how to FEEL them instead of FEED them. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/24 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyniverscoach
Either/Or Thinking
November 02, 2020 12:00 - 12 minutes - 8.89 MBWe have a lot of rules for how we think our partner SHOULD show up in our relationship. We see their actions, and we assume that it MUST mean they don’t love us or that they’re not committed to us. But those thoughts are really painful. What if there was another option? That’s what I’ll explore in this episode. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/23 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out ...
Worst Case Scenario
October 26, 2020 11:00 - 16 minutes - 11 MBBringing you the lessons from my own personal breakthroughs! This week I had an epiphany about my own resistance to a worst case scenario, so I’m sharing what I learned from being coached by MY coach and how it can help you too. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/22 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyniverscoach
Effective Intervention
October 19, 2020 11:00 - 17 minutes - 12 MBFormal, dramatic interventions don't always have the best results - mostly because it puts your partner straight into defense mode. So how do we have an honest conversation with them about our concerns? In this episode, you'll learn: An alternative intervention method Why it works How to do it from the RIGHT energy For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/21 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Re...
When They're In Treatment
October 12, 2020 11:00 - 19 minutes - 13.2 MBWhat do you do when your partner is in treatment? There are so many variables and fears and unanswered questions. The biggest thing that creates a problem for you while they're in treatment is your own thoughts about what treatment really means. In this episode, you'll learn 3 things you can do to focus on yourself and manage all of the unbearable emotions that come up while your partner is in treatment. For more information and full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/20 Support ...
How to Have a Healthy Relationship
October 05, 2020 11:00 - 14 minutes - 10.1 MBWe know a lot about how to have dysfunctional relationships. For most of us, dysfunction comes very naturally. But HOW IN FREAKING HECK do we create a healthy relationship, especially if we’ve never had one before? AND, is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who struggles with addiction? In this episode, you'll learn: Why you don't have a healthy relationship now What a healthy relationship is How to create a healthy relationship, even when your partner struggles wit...
Fear of Breaking Up
September 28, 2020 11:00 - 16 minutes - 11.2 MBBreakup up isn't always going to be the "right" answer for you, but what if you WANT to breakup and just can't seem to do it or make it stick? What happens when we know that ending the relationship is for our highest good, but we're too afraid? In this episode I share some personal stories of how I've decreased my own fear of breaking up over the course of my adult life in order to make the hard call when it's necessary for me. You'll learn: What breaking up means vs. what we usually mak...
The Myth of Abandonment
September 21, 2020 11:00 - 16 minutes - 11.5 MB"I can't leave my partner, I would be abandoning them." "When my partner uses/drinks, they're gone. I feel abandoned." If you struggle with either of these thoughts, this episode will clear up the confusion most of us have around the concept of abandonment. You'll learn: What abandonment is and is NOT (this might surprise you) How to work through your own guilt or resentment around abandonment The surprising truth that will give back your freedom For more information and the full show ...
Creating New Beliefs
September 14, 2020 11:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBOnce you realize that you hold a belief that isn't at ALL helpful to you anymore, how to you change it? How do you create something NEW and different for your life? How do you believe new things? In this episode, you'll learn: Why your life is the way it is What a belief really is How to create a new belief about yourself, your relationship, and your life For the more information and the full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/16. Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction pr...
How to Deal With Judgment
September 07, 2020 11:00 - 21 minutes - 14.7 MBWhen you’re in a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction, you likely feel isolated and alone. A lot of us are afraid to have conversations with others because we think that they’ll judge us and make us feel bad for choosing to be in the relationship. In this episode, I’m going to walk you through: How to deal with judgment from others about your relationship How to deal with the judgment you have of yourself What to choose instead For more information and full show notes, ...
Allowing Fear
August 31, 2020 11:00 - 11 minutes - 8.06 MBThere's a misconception we have about what it means to be happy and go after what we want in life. We think that we won't feel any fear in the process. So when we feel fear, we think we can't move forward. Listen to 3 stories from my clients about being afraid AND going after what they truly want anyway. In this episode, you'll learn: How to allow fear How to feel fear AND take action For more information and the full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/14 Support the show The Y...
Coaching Vs. Therapy
August 24, 2020 11:00 - 11 minutes - 8.12 MBI sometimes get asked, “What’s the difference between life coaching and therapy?” I was curious about this too when I first learned about coaching. While there certainly are some similarities, life coaching and therapy have some main differences that you may want to be aware of if you’re considering one or the other (or both!). You’ll learn: The main differences between coaching and therapy When therapy is a more appropriate choice than coaching, and vice versa An unlikely benefit to co...
Triggered
August 17, 2020 11:00 - 12 minutes - 8.54 MBWhen your partner struggles with addiction, you may find yourself feeling triggered a lot. Even if you're no longer in the relationship, triggers can happen for years afterward. As a life coach, I see a lot of misunderstanding about what triggers are and what they mean, so I'm setting the record straight in this episode. You'll learn: What a trigger really is, and what causes it What to do when you feel triggered The true purpose of emotional triggers For more information and the full sh...
The Self Coaching Model
August 10, 2020 11:00 - 16 minutes - 11.5 MBThere is a tool I use with my clients to help them see the source of any of their problems. Once you know WHAT is causing your problem, you can decide HOW to solve it moving forward. The trouble is, most of us think we already know what's causing our problem - but we're usually wrong. In this episode, I'll outline the Self Coaching Model and how it works. You'll learn: How the different aspects of your life are interrelated How the model reveals your true problem How you can change yo...
Was It All A Lie?
August 03, 2020 11:00 - 11 minutes - 7.61 MBMoving forward with your partner after a betrayal can be a huge challenge, but not for the reason you might think. In this episode, I answer a question from a listener about how to handle this challenge. You'll learn: What you need to accept in order to move forward What needs to be overcome What to ask yourself so that you can focus on the RIGHT things to improve your relationship For more information and the full show notes, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/10 Support the show The Your ...
Codependency 101
July 27, 2020 14:00 - 10 minutes - 7.54 MBIf you've heard the term "codependent" thrown around a lot, but you're still not exactly sure what it is, let's go ahead and clear that up. In this episode, you'll learn: What codependency REALLY is (it's not the definition you found on Google) Where it comes from, how it manifests in your life How to be curious about your own codependent tendencies For more information and the full show notes, visit https://karilynivers.com/podcast/9. Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction progra...
Knowing When to Stay or Leave
July 20, 2020 11:00 - 17 minutes - 11.8 MBKnowing when to stay and commit to your relationship or leave and move on is actually quite simple. Our brains want to make it very confusing, but in this episode you'll learn the ONLY reason you need to stay or go, and how to come to that decision in a way that feels good to you. For more information and the full show notes, visit https://karilynivers.com/podcast/8 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyni...
Why Your Boundaries Aren't Working
July 13, 2020 11:00 - 13 minutes - 9.32 MBIt's absolutely not true that "boundaries don't work with folks who struggle with addiction". If you have been struggling to set a boundary with your partner and can't figure out where you're going wrong, this episode will explain the top 3 reasons your boundaries aren't working and what to do instead. For full show notes and more information, visit https://karilynivers.com/podcast/7. Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on ...
The "Addict" Label
July 06, 2020 11:00 - 19 minutes - 13.7 MBThere's a reason that our human brain needs to label everything. However, in this episode I'll take a look at how our need for labels can end up really backfiring on us, and what to do instead. For the full show notes and more information, visit https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/6 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyniverscoach
Rehabilitating Your Intuition
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 11 minutes - 7.98 MBIf you’ve ever thought “I just don’t know what to believe anymore”, then you’re probably feeling pretty disconnected from your intuition. When your anxiety is blocking your intuition, listen to this episode to learn the actual steps to reconnect with your inner knowing and how to make decisions about your relationship. For the full show notes and more information, go to https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/3 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to c...
How to Deal With Lying
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 12 minutes - 8.79 MBOne of the most common questions I get as a life coach is: How do I handle it when my partner constantly lies to me? And what if I think they're lying, but can't be sure? In this episode, I'll point out something you'll need to consider BEFORE you even address your partner's lying. You'll learn the two questions you need to ask yourself first, and then the practical steps to dealing with a partner who lies to you. For the full show notes and more information, visit:https://www.karilynivers.c...
5. When Your Partner's Choices Affect You
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 13 minutes - 9.44 MBIn this episode, I'm answering a question from one of my Instagram followers that I thought would be INCREDIBLY helpful for all of you. How do you focus on yourself when your partner's choices are affecting you? The answer might surprise you. For the full show notes and more information, visit https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/5
When Your Partner's Choices Affect You
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 13 minutes - 9.45 MBIn this episode, I'm answering a question from one of my Instagram followers that I thought would be INCREDIBLY helpful for all of you. How do you focus on yourself when your partner's choices are affecting you? The answer might surprise you. For the full show notes and more information, visit https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/5 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyniverscoach
4. How to Deal With Lying
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 12 minutes - 8.76 MBOne of the most common questions I get as a life coach is: How do I handle it when my partner constantly lies to me? And what if I think they're lying, but can't be sure? In this episode, I'll point out something you'll need to consider BEFORE you even address your partner's lying. You'll learn the two questions you need to ask yourself first, and then the practical steps to dealing with a partner who lies to you. For the full show notes and more information, visit:https://www.karilynivers.c...
3. Rehabilitating Your Intuition
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 11 minutes - 7.98 MBIf you’ve ever thought “I just don’t know what to believe anymore”, then you’re probably feeling pretty disconnected from your intuition. When your anxiety is blocking your intuition, listen to this episode to learn the actual steps to reconnect with your inner knowing and how to make decisions about your relationship. For the full show notes and more information, go to https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/3
Why You Feel Hopeless
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 9 minutes - 6.53 MBYour brain has been lying to you about the cause of your feelings. In this episode, learn the REAL reason you feel hopeless about your partner’s addiction and your relationship, and what you can do about it. Get the full show notes and more information here: https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/1 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction program is currently closed. Need to contact me? Reach out on Instagram @karilyniverscoach
1. Why You Feel Hopeless
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 9 minutes - 6.53 MBYour brain has been lying to you about the cause of your feelings. In this episode, learn the REAL reason you feel hopeless about your partner’s addiction and your relationship, and what you can do about it. Get the full show notes and more information here: https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/1
Your Thoughts on Addiction MATTER
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 22 minutes - 15.7 MBIf you’ve Googled “what is addiction” or “what causes addiction”, you’ve probably found a lot of conflicting studies and opinions. However, you don’t need the internet to tell you what you should think about addiction. You get to decide all on your own. In this episode, you’ll learn WHY that is so incredibly important to the health of your relationship. For the full show notes and more information, visit https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/2 Support the show The Your Partner's Addiction pro...
2. Your Thoughts on Addiction MATTER
July 01, 2020 06:00 - 22 minutes - 15.7 MBIf you’ve Googled “what is addiction” or “what causes addiction”, you’ve probably found a lot of conflicting studies and opinions. However, you don’t need the internet to tell you what you should think about addiction. You get to decide all on your own. In this episode, you’ll learn WHY that is so incredibly important to the health of your relationship. For the full show notes and more information, visit https://www.karilynivers.com/podcast/2
Trailer
May 27, 2020 04:00 - 1 minute - 882 KBThis isn’t your 12 step support group. “Your Partner’s Addiction” is about giving you practical tools to feel better now, using just your brain. Your host Karilyn Ivers is a certified life coach and has helped her clients go from anxious, angry and confused to peaceful, confident and clear-minded. If you’re looking for a way to stop being your partner’s parole officer and start being their PARTNER again, this is it.