The Four Horsemen of the Relational Apocalypse Part 1: Criticism

Dr. John Gottman discovered four negative behaviors, or “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” that spell disaster for any relationship, and with them learned how to predict the failure or success of a relationship with a 90% accuracy rate. This week is the beginning of a 4 part series where we dive into each of the horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, & Stonewalling. We are starting our series with Criticism, which is usually the horseman that shows up first when there is an issue in a relationship and sets the tone for how the conversation plays out. It can have the power to turn a bid for connection into an argument, which pushes us further from each other. The good news is that Dr. Gottman not only provided us with language for the problems, he offered us solutions or “antidotes” for each horseman. Listen this week to hear how to move from Criticizing your partner and creating more chaos to expressing healthy complaints and creating space to lean into our relationships.

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