34: Change yourself and your life will be transformed

Welcome to Woman Leadership show. I'm Janet and in this episode, I will be sharing with you how I change myself and those changes had transformed my life. 

I love this saying by Mahatma Ghandi “ Be the change that you wish to see in the world” 

As I had unhappy childhood when I was taken care by my aunty and grandparents, my late mum had to work to support us when my late father left us. I used to blame on my past childhood, my family situation and relatives for what I lack and what they have done to me. I see myself as victim and even wanted to use guilt against my late mum whenever we quarreled that because of them, I became who I am a rebellious daughter and not able to study till local university due to depression when studying a levels. 

It was only when I started working and attended personal development programs to self heal going deeper into my emotions which a lot of them go back to childhood and people who have hurt me in the past. I could not let go of the past, those who have hurt me and what I had suffered. It kept coming back again and again whenever there are situations or people I met who have hurt me, it trigger the memories and of the hurt I had in the past. 

One of the first program that helped me in my self healing was 7 habits of highly effective people where I learned be proactive habit 1, there was a story of an old man who is always angry whenever the nurse attend to the patient. The nurse decided not to be affected by him and chose to do things differently by saying jokes and buying flowers to cheer up the male patient. Initially, he still remain grumpy old man but with the consistent cheering and jokes, he started to open up and became more cheerful. 

I have also through teaching the program after more than 22 classes and through repeated sharing , hearing from different participants, I slowly learned to let go the hurt and also learned to take control of my emotions and do not allow my past to determine my present and future. 

7 habits – circle of influence and what we cannot control such as the patient in my earlier story. The nurse had to take care of the grumpy male patient but she chose to be happy and do things to make herself and the patient happy by buying flowers and telling jokes. Whe she started to laugh at her own jokes, she felt more cheerful. do what you can change within your influence such as bosses, friends, family members.  

Be consistent in learning whether is through books, audio, online, attending classes but apply what we learned. Through getting regular feedback from others such as managers, clients, team members and peers, I also continue to change myself to be better in what I do. I don’t need to please everyone and also be mindful of what is constructive and those without good intentions. 

Attitude and think out of the box – be open to ideas and do not argue just want to be right – I would argue with my late mum a lot on different issues and there was a point I wanted to be right but last few years I felt that is no longer important as long as my mum is happy and be well. I stopped arguing but listen more and as long my mum is happy. 

Takeaway 
Do not be afraid to change, with the first step even first thought that lead to the change will expand into bigger change and we see how things unfold into more opportunities. When I decided to be proactive and let go of the negativity and the past, there were more doors of opportunity and I attracted more positive energy and people into my lives. Otherwise, I would be dwelling in my own world of negativity blaming everyone and everything for the bad that happened in my life. 
I hope that through my sharing, it draws inspiration and personal reflection for you. I believe every woman can be a leader in your own way. I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you tips and ways to realize your full potential as a leader on Woman Leadership.