11: How my childhood has affected my young adult journey

TRANSCRIPT FOR EP11:
Welcome to Woman Leadership show. I'm Janet and in this episode, I will be sharing with you how my childhood has affected my young adult journey.

As I did not have a nice childhood being the only child and my late mum has to work to support me. My auntie took care of me together with my grandparents. But I was treated like a maid working from morning till late night and had to do all the household chores. I had to wake up early to help set up the shop , do deliveries before go to school and continued to help at the shop after revision and homework.  

That routine had instilled a discipline in time management and hardwork. I found joy when reading books and I found ways to improve my Chinese by looking at all the words in the shop such as on boxes, labels on groceries and so on. When I became adult, I continued the values of hardwork and I do not mind to work long hours win jobs where I will go back before midnight during peak time and started work as early as 8am. I did feel tired but somehow I had the stamina to work continuously for long hours and for a long period of time if required at work. 

The discipline of hardwork also demonstrates when I had to study part time diploma after birth of my second child, I was promoted to manage, attended a 3 months company sponsored program where I had to go after work hours once a week. There would be projects and assignments I had to complete. 

My childhood has impacted my self esteem greatly. Eventhough I may look cheerful and bubbly and talkative on the surface but deep below, I felt inferior because of my background and felt being despised upon. So I lack the confidence when I started working. I had doubt that I was not good enough to command good starting salary and could not earn as much and so I accepted lower pay as A level graduate while doing my part time degree. I would also not asking for higher pay though I have done or gave more value than the compensation. 

Self confidence- as mum asked me not to ask so many questions when I was young. That affect my confidence and so when I speak less and listen more to teachers and eat work bosses and colleagues as my mind was switched as do not ask just follow instructions.

Do not be too hard on myself and failures are part of learning. The self development courses have opened my mind to who I am , being aware of my strengths and areas of improvement. Importantly is to accept myself as who am I impacting others with my unique gifts and talents. 

I am not alone and I can make a change whether big or small. Those small incremental changes become a snowball effect that roll into bigger impact in myself and others around later on in my life.

Learn to ask questions, don’t be afraid to be seen as stupid question. I learnt to speak up in meetings, with bosses and team members even though I maybe afraid at times as doubts started creeping in to my heads and little voices whispering to my ears. I challenge myself to speak at least one time in meetings and to ideas or perception that I may not agree. Others will appreciate that you speak up and respect you more compared if you did not but actions show otherwise on your objection and disagreement. 

I hope that through my sharing, it draws inspiration and personal reflection for you. I believe every woman can be a leader in your own way. I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you tips and ways to realize your full potential as a leader on Woman Leadership.