We Are Assholes
127 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 2 years ago -Three guys who are trying to be the biggest assholes on any given topic. We. Are. Assholes.
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Episodes
Andrew and Dave do a hacky bit about penises and then get upset when I heroically stop the bit
August 17, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 63 MByou are welcome, audience PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/weareassholes Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
Crippled Jesus comes on and he's not the most retarded person on the show
August 10, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 73.2 MBI think I'll stick to the main format from now on. Crippled Jesus: https://twitter.com/CrippledJesus PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/weareassholes Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
Our black friend Delvin Cox from The Delvin Cox Experience joins the show to give us permission to say a specific word
August 03, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 77.5 MBmore n-word comedy, approved by PJ and Delvin. Delvin: https://twitter.com/delvin_cox PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/weareassholes Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
Too much chick-fil-a talk this episode, but I did end up winning that Facebook argument
July 27, 2020 04:00 - 53 minutes - 62.4 MBWe're temp-banning chick-fil-a talk and role playing because of this episode. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/weareassholes Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
one of us says the n-word but it gets bleeped because the person who said it is a bitch
July 20, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 72.2 MBn-word content isn't free, folks. spreadsheet: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam/status/1285005219361955842?s=20 PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
Doug from Good Times Great Movies joins us and is basically Andrew but older and more obese
July 13, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 63.3 MBhaha i'm so funny putting the wrong doug's in the titles omg so original Spreadsheet: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam/status/1282477916576780288/photo/1 Doug: https://twitter.com/Whos_right_pod PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
Doug from Who's Right berates Andrew for the majority of this one
July 06, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 88.3 MBAndrew is a victim of cyber-bulllying now. Doug: https://twitter.com/GTGMcast PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
One of us gets very defensive about grooming our sister and it's not PJ or Dave
June 29, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 85.6 MBCheck out Andrew's sister on tiktok speadsheet: https://twitter.com/spreadsheetshow/status/1277441006049214468 PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
I didn't end up buying Resident Evil 7 for those who were wondering
June 22, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 84.8 MBDave makes a bunch of noises and Andrew feels bad halfway through and then I check out for the last 15 minutes. probably our best episode yet. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
I think this one is pretty funny but Andrew and I breathe into the mics a bunch
June 15, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 78.6 MBSorry about the loud breathing, Andrew and I are on the brink of death because of our obesity. Please don't point out that I could've just edited it out. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
Jodie B from Po'boys comes on and then leaves early and andrew leaves early and Dave and I Don't. This title is pretty long.
June 08, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 111 MBI'm so tired. No matter what I do or how much I sleep I'm always tired and never wake up not tired. Spreadsheet: https://twitter.com/spreadsheetshow/status/1269750098755383297/photo/1 Jodie B: https://twitter.com/poboypod PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
I know for a fact we discuss charts available on google sheets on this one
June 01, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 86.5 MBI should really listen back to these closer to when I upload so i can properly title them. Spreadsheet for this week: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam/status/1267153697894813701/photo/1 PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Anthony: https://twitter.com/Villy_manilly Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
Big Tony from Who's Right joins us but Dave didn't tell him that we local record so the audio is kind of f*cked
May 25, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 62.4 MBI'm supposed to take all of our local audio and make it sound nice, but we had to use our backup recording so we could have Anthony's audio since Dave didn't tell him that's what we do. I take no blame. Spreadsheet: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam/status/1264743656126283778/photo/1 PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Anthony: https://twitter.com/Villy_manilly Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisego...
Vinnie from the Creep-off wanted to talk about cults, so we talk about jews for 45 minutes
May 18, 2020 04:00 - 55 minutes - 51.2 MBI asked Vinnie to pick a topic and he picked cults, so naturally we ignore the topic to just make a bunch of unfunny and predictable jew jokes and give our woke takes the holocaust. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
I forget what this one is about. I think we make light of sexual assault or something.
May 11, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 69.8 MBAndrew probably had some family meeting or something in the middle. It's been a while since I edited this so I forget. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun Dave appears courtesy of WREU: https://www.patreon.com/wreu
we were going to discuss best type of death, but we mainly just talk about 7th heaven
May 04, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 66.2 MBIf Andrew goes off the rails, I try to save it. If Dave goes off the rails, I try to save it. If I go off the rails? We talk about 7th Heaven for about 30 minutes. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun
Andrew ruins the show and also made the spreadsheet about mascots for some reason. is this a good title dave?
April 27, 2020 09:00 - 1 hour - 56.1 MBAndrew made the spreadsheet and made it about cute little fluffy mascots, which obviously fits the theme of the show. This episode is sponsored by Andrew's family's jigsaw puzzle (which they didn't even glue to cardboard or some shit, they just destroyed it. just like they did to this episode). We are in search of back-up Andrews for when this happens again.
Neo-Woke W-Words Rank 9/11's
April 20, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 65 MBAfter a bit of a misstep last week, we're back with a We Are Assholes masterpiece where we rank 9/11's. This episode will be studied by future historians as a major turning point in the We Are Assholes folklore. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun
Complete F*ck Up of an Episode
April 10, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 83.9 MBThis week we were supposed to rank conspiracy theories, but instead we are assholes to each other and not about the topic. This is a weird one and next week we'll go back to releasing our normal, formatted episodes. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork by Crom Tuise: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun
Porn w/ Karl from WATP
April 03, 2020 10:00 - 59 minutes - 54.6 MBKarl from Who Are These Podcasts joins us as we do the unpredictable thing and rank the worst podcasts. Karl: https://twitter.com/whoarethesepod PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun/posts
Ranking the Dictators & Hitler Isn't Manly
March 27, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 66.2 MBAndrew did the spreadsheet this week, and refuses to listen to PJ even though PJ is smart and makes good points. Dave tries to talk up Hitler again. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Artwork: https://www.patreon.com/cromtuisegoptun/posts
Ranking Political Parties & Andrew Gets Bullied
March 20, 2020 16:00 - 1 hour - 67.3 MBIn the least controversial episode so far, Dave and PJ make some great points about politics while Andrew cries about how he loves making hack jokes and how he's bullied because we don't laugh at his hack jokes. The plot twist is Andrew was the bully all along.
Ranking the Religions & John Travolta
March 13, 2020 19:05 - 1 hour - 67.9 MBIn this episode we have a very educated and well-informed discussion about which religions are best, and then Andrew let's us all know about his secret desire for a celebrity to rape him.
Ranking the Disabilities (Part 2 - Electric Boogaloo)
March 06, 2020 00:41 - 38 minutes - 35.7 MBPJ makes some good points about autism/pianists and proves he's a genius, Dave is Australian and not a fan of Americans, and Andrew uses his ADHD to make some extremely hack-y jokes. PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad Art by Crom Tuise: https://twitter.com/crom_tuise
Ranking the Disabilities (Part 1)
February 28, 2020 03:34 - 34 minutes - 31.5 MBThis is the least woke episode so far due to having John on the show, but we will do better next time as long as our adult friend, Andrew, isn't grounded again. Thanks to our buddy John for filling in and ruining the show; it was a lot of fun! There's a special something at the end where John and Dave reveal their deepest secrets. John: https://twitter.com/johnjamingo PJ: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Dave: https://twitter.com/manbrain69 Andrew: https://twitter.com/EatingSalad
Ranking the LGBTQ+ Letters
February 21, 2020 03:54 - 1 hour - 68.3 MBThis week we decided to make a definitive stat-ranking of every sexuality that exists. Don't worry, we are all extremely woke, so if you get offended it's because you aren't woke enough.
Official Race/Ethnicity Stat-Ranking
February 15, 2020 01:21 - 1 hour - 58.6 MBA quick pre-ranking discussion about the man who made Kim Kardashian famous, followed by an objective ranking of every race. Don't worry, everything we said is objective fact and if you disagree then you are definitely wrong. For some reason Andrew brings up Atlantians a bunch of times. Find PJ on twitter at: https://twitter.com/PJ_Philliam Find Dave on twitter at: https://twitter.com/manbrain69