Generation Xhausted

Episode 65: Parenting Littles

In this episode your heart will melt as you meet adoptive parents Jared and Renee, a couple who’s infertility and adoption attempt journey lasted them 17 long years before they were able to become parents to two siblings who have offered them both the joys and the struggles of all parents and some extra experiences […]

Episode 64: Parenting Littles

Join Valerie and her guest expert and attachment therapist Rene as they dig into the nitty gritty of parenting littles. Rene specifically addresses the challenges that it is for adoptive parents to parent adoptive children who bring with them a “suitcase” filled with their untold (and untellable) stories. These “suitcases” sometimes clash with the parents […]

Episode 63: Parenting Littles

Join host Valerie as she interviews Rene, a fellow therapist and expert in working with parents of littles in general and adoptive littles and their parents in particular. In this episode Valerie and Rene will talk about how difficult behaviors from our littles often evoke in us parents difficult behaviors in response and how this […]

Episode 62: Series 12 [Part 5 of 5] Navigating the Tension Between Teaching Values and Instilling Perfectionism in our Children

Join Val and co-host Todd in their post-interview conversation about the tough task of parenting adolescents and emerging adult children. Topics include offering children enough autonomy to choose their own journey while also scaffolding them with values that their children will hopefully learn to espouse for themselves. An either way, the most important message: love […]

Episode 61: Series 12 [Part 4 of 5] Navigating the Tension Between Teaching Values and Instilling Perfectionism in our Children

Back by popular demand!! ENTIRE Adolescent Parenting series uninterrupted.

Episode 60: Series 12 [Part 3 of 5] Navigating the Tension Between Teaching Values and Instilling Perfectionism in our Children

Final thoughts and feelings about the joys and pains of parenting. Carter shares the deep gratitude that he has for learning more emotional awareness himself through this process and Emily shares that she has found professional direction in her life through this experience. Indeed, this journey has blessed the whole family!

Episode 59: Series 12 [Part 2 of 5] Navigating the Tension Between Teaching Values and Instilling Perfectionism in our Children

In this conversation, Carter and Emily go more deeply into their parenting journey and the lessons learned about perfectionism and its dangers. In this touching conversation, Carter and Emily share Ben’s experience “hitting bottom” and their whole family’s beautiful experience rallying around him.

Episode 58: Series 12 [Part 1 of 5] Navigating the Tension Between Teaching Values and Instilling Perfectionism in our Children

Join Valerie and Todd as they get listeners ready to meet Carter and Emily, the parents of Valerie’s adolescent client, Ben. In this case, Valerie works with both parents and their teen- aged son and helps them all understand the power of the parents love, teachability, and personal accountability in the healing work of a […]

Episode 57: Series 11 [Part 4 of 4] The Healing Journey of a Brave Man Speaking Up

Episode 56: Series 11 [Complete Interview] The Healing Journey of a Brave Man Speaking Up

By popular demand I’m trying something new…here is the entire interview of my last guest…Join me and Steven, uncut, as we walk all the way through his therapy journey. He’s an amazing example that its never too late to heal from early childhood trauma.

Episode 55: Series 11 [Part 3 of 4] The Healing Journey of a Brave Man Speaking Up

In this episode, Valerie and Steven reflect upon Steven’s ever-increasing capacity to tolerate sharing his trauma history. He recounts how both work in mindfulness and sharing his ongoing dreams with Valerie helped him heal from wounds carried for almost 60 years. This episode will both warm your heart and give you hope that it is […]

Episode 54: Series 11 [Part 2 of 4] The Healing Journey of a Brave Man Speaking Up

In this episode, Valerie and Steven visit about Steven’s move from setting tight boundaries around what was ‘allowed’ and ‘not allowed’ to be discussed in therapy to deciding that finally he could talk–really talk–about his own story of early sexual abuse. They reflect on how this journey was both scary and sacred and how eventually […]

Episode 53: Series 11 [Part 1 of 4] The Healing Journey of a Brave Man Speaking Up

Meet Steven, a brave gentleman who finally decided (after 60ish years) that he was worth it enough to heal from some early childhood wounds that until then “didn’t matter”. As a loving husband, father, and grandfather, he willingly gave his life to everyone else. Finally it was his turn to be added to his own […]

Episode 52: BONUS Episode! We Change the World by Sharing Our Own Stories of Healing

Join Val and Hannah (founder of the very popular instagram account @thehappyslothclub) as they talk all things mental health and especially the power that we each can have in talking about our own journeys through struggle.

Episode 51: Series 10 [Part 4 of 4] When a US Marine Learns the Power of Tears

Join Val and co-host Todd as they unpack the struggle that many men have in pushing up against our culture’s mandate for men to be “tough” and how they in many ways have been socialized to manage in ways that ultimately bring anxiety, emptiness, and relational struggle. This epidode highlights how Val’s client Garrick is […]

Episode 50: Series 10 [Part 3 of 4] When a US Marine Learns the Power of Tears

In this episode, Garrick and Valerie dig into how his therapy journey impacted his marriage. Garrick shares his realization that there was no ‘fixing’ the marriage until he better understood himself and further realizes that being accountable and compassionate with his own struggles positioned him to love his wife more deeply and better understand her […]

Episode 49: Series 10 [Part 2 of 4] When a US Marine Learns the Power of Tears

In this episode Garrick and Valerie go more deeply into his story. Garrick discovers that his strategy to “hate himself” into better performance was a losing battle and one that continued to leave him emotionally empty. Learning to see himself as worthy, good, and ‘enouogh’ independent of his accomplishments has been a hard sale but […]

Episode 48: Series 10 [Part 1 of 4] When a US Marine Learns the Power of Tears

Join Valerie and Garrick in this powerful series. Garrick is a young husband and father, former US Marine, and a medical student. He knows a whole lot about pushing himself ever harder to prove his worth. Then one day he realized that he his strategies to work harder in an effort to prove his worthiness […]

Episode 47: BONUS Episode! A Small-Business Owner’s Covid-19 Nightmare: From Despair to Hope

In this touching episode, meet Jeffrey, a small business owner whose printing business went from the faster growing franchise in the world of its type to the need to nearly shut their doors, all within days. His story is one of tenacity, resilience, and a desire to never give up. It is also a story […]

Episode 46: BONUS Episode Unpacking Attachment Parenting

This week Valerie airs her guest appearance on the popular podcast “Family Looking Up” and shares the nitty gritty about attachment theory and parenting. Val shares not only the fundamentals of this philosophy, but also personal experiences around how she has learned how to become more securely attached to her children in the midst of […]

Episode 45: Series 9 [Part 4 of 5] From Pinterest Wedding to Covid Wedding: Life Events During a World Pandemic

Join host Valerie as she follows up with both new bride Mary Kate and her Momma Jill. Both touchingly share their experiences in the aftermath of planning of wedding during Covid-19. Their stories are hopeful and full of gratitude in the realization of what really matters most.

Episode 44: Series 9 [Part 3 of 5] From Pinterest Wedding to Covid Wedding: Life Events During a World Pandemic

Meet Jill, mother-of-the-bride. Her daughter (just interviewed last week) is an only daughter and eldest child. Jill’s internal work to prepare for this important life-altering event was already going to a growth experience. Then throw in Covid-19 and watch what happened. Struggle. Stress. Falling apart a little. Coming together a lot. Grieving. Celebrating. Loving. Growing. […]

Episode 43: Series 9 [Part 2 of 4] From Pinterest Wedding to Covid Wedding: Life Events During a World Pandemic

Meet Mary Kate, a young women getting married in just a few days. Join her in conversation with Valerie as they talk through the twists and turns of planning a wedding during perhaps the strangest time in recent history. You’ll be blown away by her maturity and perspective in her journey through this difficult time.

Episode 43: Series 9 [Part 2 of 5] From Pinterest Wedding to Covid Wedding: Life Events During a World Pandemic

Meet Mary Kate, a young women getting married in just a few days. Join her in conversation with Valerie as they talk through the twists and turns of planning a wedding during perhaps the strangest time in recent history. You’ll be blown away by her maturity and perspective in her journey through this difficult time.

Episode 42: Series 9 [Part 1 of 5] From Pinterest Wedding to Covid Wedding: Life Events During a World Pandemic

In this series Valerie interviews several individuals impacted by Covid-19 in a unique way. Each of these individuals happened to plan weddings that have fallen during some level of ‘lock down’ and are managing the complexities of moving forward with pivotal life events in the wake of an unprecedented situation. Today Val interviews her own […]

Episode 41: BONUS Episode! @thehappyslothclub Founder Tells Her Story about Overcoming the Stigma of Therapy to Find Healing from Trauma and Depression

Val and Instagram account sensation Hannah Shurey, founder of @thehappyslothclub talk about Hannah’s own journey to the moment when she overcame her own fears of therapy and found this the greatest gift she could have given herself. Val and Hannah are working hard to help the US and the UK (and everywhere in between) get […]

Episode 40: Series 8 [Part 4 of 4] Who’s Taking Care of the Caregiver?

In this wrap up episode, join Val and co-host Todd dig more deeply into the concept of asking for help, support, and guidance. Why do we struggle so much to reach out for others’ help when most of us are happy to be on the giving end? This podcast unpacks this phenomenon and encourages each […]

Episode 39: Series 8 [Part 3 of 4] Who’s Taking Care of the Caregiver?

In this episode, Val and Amber explore her discovery that her capacity to really look at her own ‘mom guilt’ freed her up to really love her children deeply. She also shared a sweet experience of how her aspiration that her children become advocates to protect others from abuse was realized. Finally Amber shares how […]

Episode 38: Series 8 [Part 2 of 4] Who’s Taking Care of the Caregiver?

In this beautiful episode, Amber shared with Valerie several of her own ‘aha’ moments where growth came to her in her journey to heal from a divorce with five young children, including her realization that life is too short to hold a grudge and resent those who had hurt her and her children and that […]

Episode 37: Series 8 [Part 1 of 4] Who’s Taking Care of the Caregiver?

In today’s podcast you’ll meet Valerie’s guest and former client Amber, a young single mom who overcomes huge challenges in her life and talks about how deciding that she could ask for support by coming to therapy might have been the biggest challenge of all.  Before meeting Amber, Todd and Val explore a little about […]

Episode 36: BONUS Episode! From the US to the UK: Blazing New Trails in Overcoming the Stigma of Talking about Mental Health

Join Valerie as she interviews the founder of “The Happy Sloth Club”, a very popular instagram account celebrating health and healing and normalizing the real struggles of the human experience. In this episode Valerie and Hannah share the joint vision of de- stigmatizing struggles with mental health and discuss how certain choices in social media […]

Episode 35: Series 7 [Part 4 of 4] Parenting: NOT for the Weak!

In this episode, Valerie and fellow therapist and co-host Todd dig deeply into postpartum depression and also talk about the common nature of every postpartum period as intense, overwhelming, and a beautiful but sometimes harrowing time for the new mother and support staff in the home. This episode normalizes the depth and variety of feeling […]

Episode 34: Series 7 [Part 3 of 4] Parenting: NOT for the Weak!

In this episode Becca and Valerie explore ways that Becca learned about the importance of continuing to cultivate her own passions and interests independent of her (chosen calling of) motherhood. Valerie emphasizes that self-care if fundamental to one’s capacity to love others deeply and that there is no virtue in ‘running on empty’.

Episode 33: Series 7 [Part 2 of 4] Parenting: NOT for the Weak!

In this week’s episode Valerie and Becca walk through a variety of different opportunities for personal growth and learning that arose during her attempts to be a ‘good’ mom. Becca’s example of speaking out about the struggles and strains of young motherhood is refreshing and inspiring…and probably hits close to home for many mamas everywhere!

Episode 32: Series 7 [Part 1 of 4] Parenting: NOT for the Weak!

Join Valerie and co-host Todd, as they introduce Becca, a young mom who represents many of the typical struggles of early motherhood including postpartum depression, issues of worthiness around full-time care-giving, and her struggle in holding onto her own identity while being consumed in parenthood.

Episode 31: Series 6 [Part 4 of 4] Overcoming a Nightmare–One Woman’s Story of Healing through the Unimaginable

In this series wrap-up, Valerie is joined by Dr. Todd Frye and they dig into some of the nuances of trauma recovery work especially unpacking their hunches as to why Cami was so resilient in the face of such an intense trauma.

Episode 30: Series 6 [Part 3 of 4] Overcoming a Nightmare–One Woman’s Story of Healing through the Unimaginable

Cami and Valerie explore several experiences that helped Cami learn that trauma recovery is a process and that sometimes the emergence of symptoms (ongoing struggles with ‘bad days’, experiences of dissociation, and nightmares) are normal and that each experience has the potential to help her learn how to heal as she brought these into the […]

Episode 29 Series 6 [Part 2of 4] Overcoming a Nightmare–One Woman’s Story of Healing through the Unimaginable

In this powerful episode, Valerie and Cami describe the experience that they shared that for Cami “changed everything” and reassured her that she was in fact going to heal from the multiple rape kidnapping experience. She knew from that moment on that “I am going to get better. I can take back my life.”

Episode 28: Series 6 [Part 1 of 4] Overcoming a Nightmare–One Woman’s Story of Healing through the Unimaginable

Join Valerie and Todd as they introduce Cami, a brave young woman who wants everyone to know that hiding the secret of rape is destructive to the body, spirit, and soul. In this interview, Cami begins to share her experience of a kidnapping and rape nightmare that she experienced as a college student. And more […]

Episode 27: Bonus Episode [Part 2 of 2] Parenting a Child Through and Eating Disorder

This is part 2 of an interview between co-hosts Valerie Hamaker and Todd Frye where they focus on Valerie’s experience as the mother of an adolescent daughter struggling with and eating disorder. Valerie’s experience of how her own belief in the innate power of healing strengthened her resolve to help her daughter is a main […]

Episode 26: Bonus Episode [Part 1 of 2] Parenting a Child Through an Eating Disorder

In this special episode, Valerie shares her own experience as a mom and health care professional with an adolescent daughter who struggled with an eating disorder. In this interview Valerie opens up about her struggle with shame, insecurity, and some of the lessons she learned about parenthood, the nature of growth, and the unique gifts […]

Episode 25: Series 5 [Part 4 of 4] Forgiveness of Self and Others: How Love Casts out Fear

In this post-interview deeper dive discussion, Todd and Valerie really dig into the nature of single-incident trauma and why it can impact an individual so intensely. They also talk about how a beautiful and natural outcome of healing the brain is an openness, flexibility, and increased capacity to accept oneself and others.

Episode 24: Series 5 [Part 3 of 4] Forgiveness of Self and Others: How Love Casts out Fear

In this episode Valerie and Dana explore Dana’s experience initiating a conversation with the individual who had hurt her many years ago. They explored the nature of true healing…how forgiveness is more about letting go and finding interior freedom independent of the other’s response. Inspiring!

Episode 23: Series 5 [Part 2 of 4] Forgiveness of Self and Others: How Love Casts out How

In this episode Dana shares her powerful experience about learning and implementing mindfulness and meditation skills to help her overcome her struggles with anxiety. She and Valerie also explore healing work that happened when her husband came to therapy with her.

Episode 22: Series 5 [Part 1 of 4] Forgiveness of Self and Others: How Love Casts out Fear

Please join Valerie and Todd as they set you up to meet Dana, a delightful and sweet young wife and mother who has the courage to look at her anxiety of men, which stems from an early personal trauma and a community kidnapping in her childhood.

Episode 21: Series 4 [Part 5 of 4…BONUS episode!] Unity does Not Mean Uniformity: Thriving in Marriage through Major Life Changes

Join Valerie and co-host Dr. Todd Frye as they unpack the phenomenon in marriage wherein couples interests may begin to diverge. They look at the nuanced dance between staying deeply united while also developing a sense of self that is vibrant and unique.

Episode 20: Series 4 [Part 4 of 4] Unity does not Mean Uniformity: Thriving in Marriage through Major Life Changes

Join Valerie and co-host Dr. Todd Frye as they take a deeper dive into many topics that emerged in the Valerie’s interviews with Tiffany these past several weeks including their conversation about how much bravery it takes to not blame our spouses for unresolved struggles that come up in marriage and strategies that we might […]

Episode 19: Series 4 [Part 3 of 4] Unity does Not Mean Uniformity: Thriving in Marriage through Major Life Changes

Tiffany and Valerie conclude their interview with a conversation about how much Tiffany learned in the process of her therapy experience. She came to understand that her childhood experiences embedded in her certain ‘safety protocols’ that she reflexively moved into when she felt threat and that in her marriage, she need no longer do this, […]

Episode 18: Series 4 [Part 2 of 4] Unity does Not Mean Uniformity: Thriving in Marriage through Major Life Changes

Valerie and Tiffany explore more deeply into Tiffany’s life story to help Tiffany understand the nature of her deep fear around her husband’s faith transition. Her commitment to her (their) faith and their love for each other both helped her feel safe. If he changed, could she still feel safe and protected? They talk about […]

Episode 17: Series 4 [Part 1 of 4] Unity Does not Mean Uniformity: Thriving in a Marriage through Major Life Changes

Join Valerie and Todd as they open up this series of interviews with Tiffany, who begins to share the challenges that she experienced when her husband decided to leave the faith tradition that they had shared since childhood.