Generation Xhausted
166 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 50 ratingsJoin Therapist Valerie Hamaker as she goes to the next level in tackling issues that so many of us deal with in midlife: exhaustion, regret, stagnation, and disappointment. In her podcast she connects these painful realities with powerful reasons for why we all feel this way. Most importantly, Valerie’s personability and warm presentation style will walk you through how YOU can claim passion, purpose, meaning and personal authority in your own life in areas such as marriage, parenting, employment, spirituality, and anywhere else where burnout rears its head.
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Episodes
Episode 162: A Quick Path to Relationship Burnout: Expect them to Complete You
September 26, 2022 06:00 - 36 minutes - 25.9 MBJoin Valerie and Nathan this week as they break down the phenomena of “The Magical Other”…the desire each of us has to find the right person [or job, church, community…choose your favorite quick fix solution]. which will make all of our troubles go away. And how this NEVER works and actually poisons the potential of […]
Episode 161: Healing the War Within Yourself–Part II
September 19, 2022 06:00 - 36 minutes - 26.4 MBIn this second episode of this two part series, Valerie brings on special guest and fellow therapist Jessica Ginther to talk about the value of the Internal Family Systems model of therapy as a model for helping people come to know themselves better. In this series Valerie and Jessica talk about how all human beings […]
Episode 161: Healing the War Within Yourself–Part II
September 19, 2022 06:00 - 36 minutes - 26.4 MBIn this second episode of this two part series, Valerie brings on special guest and fellow therapist Jessica Ginther to talk about the value of the Internal Family Systems model of therapy as a model for helping people come to know themselves better. In this series Valerie and Jessica talk about how all human beings […]
Episode 160: Healing the War Within Yourself Part I
September 16, 2022 21:30 - 32 minutes - 24 MBIn this two part series, Valerie brings on special guest and fellow therapist Jessica Ginther to talk about the value of the Internal Family Systems model of therapy as a model for helping people come to know themselves better. In this series Valerie and Jessica talk about how all human beings are innately whole and […]
Episode 159: Wounded in Community. Healed in Community
September 05, 2022 17:36 - 36 minutes - 26.4 MBWe are social creatures…there is no getting around it. Almost without exception, the theme of our suffering is other people. And the way to work through this suffering is through exploring these struggles with other people who can show us support, affirmation, and a reflection of our ability to overcome. In this episode Valerie and […]
Episode 158: Relational Burnout: Parenting Young Adult Children
August 29, 2022 00:41 - 41 minutes - 34.7 MBJoin Valerie and guest co-host Jill Dickey as they break down a “real life” case study in relational burnout that was shared in Valerie’s weekly international online growth community that tackles issues of burnout that often comes from the complexities of parenting young adult children. In this episode Valerie and Jill use Terry Real’s 5 […]
Episode 157: 5 WINNING Strategies to Help your Relational Burnout
August 15, 2022 21:54 - 56 minutes - 46.5 MBIn this episode, join Valerie and guest co-host Jill Dickey as they break down the flip side of Author Terry Real’s famous “5 Losing Strategies in Relationships” (see episode 156) as this week they hit the 5 WINNING STRATEGIES for all relationships! Not only do they break down each strategy, but they give specific examples […]
Episode 156: Which LOSING Strategies Get YOU in the Most Trouble?
August 09, 2022 01:19 - 42 minutes - 192 KBIn this fun episode, Valerie and Nathan walk you through Terry Real’s 5 “LOSING STRATEGIES” that are bound to get you in trouble in your most complicated relationship. As Val and Nathan have been married going on 25 years, they know a thing or two about which strategies have gotten their relationship in the worst […]
Episode 155: Burned out of Your Most Challenging Relationship
August 01, 2022 06:00 - 32 minutes - 27.9 MBIn this episode (and the next several episodes) Valerie is going to go deeply into burnout and how you can better understand and deal with your toughest relationships. Val and Nathan will look at a variety of relationships that might be your most challenging–from intimate relationship to your relationship with your small children, adult children, […]
Episode 154: Flow, Energy, and Aliveness
July 25, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 29.5 MBIn this final episode on this burnout series focused on the concept of FLOW, Valerie and Nathan answer podcast listener questions about the correlation between flow and burnout. They address FLOW and energy centers of our body and how burnout is essentially a blockage in more or more of our body’s energy centers. They also […]
Episode 153: FLOW and How You’ll Know You’re There
July 19, 2022 02:04 - 34 minutes - 29.9 MBJoin Valerie and Nathan in this deepening of the topic of FLOW as the state of heightened enjoyment, unselfconsciousness, concentration, and peace that is evidence that one is living a life that is alive, awake and thriving. FLOW is the opposite of burnout and if you want to heal from your struggle with all areas […]
Episode 152: Meditation as KEY to Healing Your Burnout [and Achieving Flow in your Life]
July 11, 2022 17:13 - 43 minutes - 32.9 MBIn this episode Valerie jumps into the topic of meditation as the ABSOLUTELY mandatory key to finding peace in our journey out of burnout and into a life that is finally peaceful, meaningful, and purposeful. Here is a sad truth: most of us are kept hostage all day every day by our “neurotic roommate” (yes, […]
Episode 151: Steps to How to Truly Feel Happy
July 02, 2022 17:12 - 31 minutes - 24.3 MBJoin Valerie in her exploration of burnout’s opposite: The experience of FLOW. In this podcast Valerie answers several podcast audience questions about FLOW…what is it? How do I know I am having a “flow” experience? What can I do in my life to learn how to feel this way? Why do some people feel this […]
Episode 150: The FLOW experience and What Prevents It
June 27, 2022 06:09 - 41 minutes - 33.5 MBWhat is FLOW? FLOW is a state of being when mind and body are totally attuned, in sync, present, and exhilarated in a task. FLOW is the opposite of burnout and it is this month’s Generation Xhausted focus in your burnout recovery journey. In this week’s episode, Val and Nathan set the stage by breaking […]
Episode 149: Do I have a Job or a True Vocation?
June 20, 2022 06:00 - 33 minutes - 25.1 MBIn this work burnout podcast Val and Nathan talk about the difference between a job that “pays the bills” and a vocation that truly lights us up and why so many of us struggles following the path to a vocation that not only pays the bills but also provides ourselves and the world deep and […]
Episode 148: Work Burnout? Or is My Own Relational “Stuff” Just Playing Out at Work?
June 13, 2022 06:00 - 42 minutes - 32.2 MBJoin Val and Nathan as they talk about how work often is the setting where stress arises and our own insecurities, eccentricities, and blindspots show up in often uncomfortable and potentially enlightening ways. In this episode they use the personality assessment tool the Enneagram to talk about how we each might be able to self-diagnose […]
Episode 147: Work Burnout–Chronic Stress
June 05, 2022 16:17 - 40 minutes - 31 MBSome people hate their work and this is stressful. Some people like their work but are marinating in stress just the same for a variety of reasons. Join therapist Valerie Hamaker as she breaks down chronic stress and its impact on the body and how to work through your own stress to prevent illness, premature […]
Episode 147: Work Burnout–Chronic Stress
June 05, 2022 16:17 - 30 BytesSome people hate their work and this is stressful. Some people like their work but are marinating in stress just the same for a variety of reasons. Join therapist Valerie Hamaker as she breaks down chronic stress and its impact on the body and how to wor
Episode 146: Can Childhood Sibling Issues Still Impact You?
May 23, 2022 22:00 - 47 minutes - 34.2 MBIn this week’s burnout discovery and healing conversation, Valerie talks to two incredibly brave people who share how complex childhood dynamics impacted them and still impact them, and most importantly, how they are each actively working on healing and growing. Listen as these guests share their stories 1. Being the “golden child” born shortly after […]
Episode 145: What Would this Episode Sound like between YOU and YOUR Siblings?
May 21, 2022 03:12 - 51 minutes - 37.1 MBIn this episode, Valerie interviews three sisters each have their share of tender moments realizing how very much the sibling relationship shaped each of their very identities. We talk about dynamics of oldest, middle, and functional youngest daughters and how these decades-spanning relationships are key to our own self-knowing and self-healing.
Episode 144: Birth Order and Present Identity: Personal Reflections
May 09, 2022 06:00 - 42 minutes - 31.7 MBJoin Val and Nathan as they share some personal reflections on how their own birth order relationships inform each of their unique brand of crazy! In this episode they demonstrate how you too can unpack the impact of your birth order in what makes you tick and also what keeps you stuck.
Episode 143: Birth Order and Its Impact on Personal Struggle (aka burnout)
May 02, 2022 18:00 - 40 minutes - 31.3 MBJoin Valerie in this new series on burnout and sibling relationships. In this primer episode, Val shares some findings about the typical traits of the first born, middle children, last born, and only children along with accompanying strengths and weaknesses. This series is sure to awaken in you more curiosity about how you “tick” and […]
Episode 142: All 9 Enneagram Types Break Down Life in their “Number”
April 25, 2022 06:00 - 1 hour - 55.1 MBOh please don’t miss this episode everyone! This will be an hour of pure gold where I gathered 8 individuals and together we each “rep our enneagram number” and discuss a myriad of topics like “what is your defining feature within your number?”, “what is your greatest vulnerability?”, “which relationship has been impacted the most […]
Episode 141: How can the Enneagram Heal Relational Burnout?
April 18, 2022 06:00 - 52 minutes - 39.7 MBIn this fabulous episode, Valerie is joined by fellow therapist, friend, and expert in the enneagram. Their topic? How the enneagram is a tool for relationship help! And they are talking about EVERY RELATIONSHIP, starting with one with ourselves and extending out to intimate partners, parentings, children, and co-worker. Listen to this podcast to understand […]
Episode 140: How did YOU handle Covid 19 (According to your Enneagram Number)
April 11, 2022 06:00 - 56 minutes - 41.9 MBJoin Nathan and Val in this playful conversation where they illustrate how we all manage stress differently through something we all know plenty about–the Covid 19. In this episode they run through each enneagram number and talk about how each type might have handled everything from shelter in place, to masks, to social distancing in […]
Episode 139: The Enneagram, Self Knowledge, and Burnout Recovery
April 04, 2022 19:41 - 1 hour - 46.5 MBJoin Valerie and Nathan as they open up a new conversation about how to heal from your own burnout…this series focuses on the ENNEAGRAM…a personality assessment tool that may very well change the way to view self and others…waking you up to your own blindspots. (Blindspots=Burnout!) This week is a primer on each enneagram number […]
Episode 138: How are Sex, Validation, Power, and Boundaries all Connected?
March 28, 2022 20:41 - 48 minutes - 35.7 MBJoin Valerie and guest Jill Dickey, therapist-in-training and community member of Generation Xhausted Online Community, as they dig into a fellow GenX community member’s personal question about her own intimate sexual relationship with her partner that complex, overwhelming, and, yes, exhausting her. Learn about sex in a way that is likely totally new to you.
Episode 137: Boundaries, Childhood Programming, and Dealing with Guilt and Anger
March 21, 2022 19:01 - 35 minutes - 29.2 MBWhy is making and keeping boundaries so hard? Because these struggles are wired into our brains at a very young age. In this episode, Val and Nathan share many of their own boundary ‘aha’ moments in their marriage an how they have grown in realizing that good boundaries make good relationships in every area of […]
Episode 136: Making Boundaries is Hard. Not making them is Harder
March 14, 2022 18:52 - 34 minutes - 25.6 MBJoin Valerie and Nathan in this two part series about boundaries and how life is sucked from us when we don’t make them with ourselves and others. In these episodes, Val and Nathan talk about boundaries and how we are vulnerable to certain boundary weaknesses due to childhood. They also talk about why making boundaries […]
Episode 135: How Online Communities SERVE, Love, and Make the World a Kinder Place
March 07, 2022 21:53 - 40 minutes - 31 MBJoin Valerie and her fellow online community manager Jillian as they talk about how online support, education, and interest communities are a few clicks away from help, friendship, healing, and growth. Valerie runs an online mental health and burnout recovery space and Jillian runs space to support and connect entrepreneurs world wide. They both are […]
Episode 134: Burnout Warrior Spotlight
March 01, 2022 01:58 - 49 minutes - 37 MBJoin Valerie as she hears the larger story of Generation Xhausted Community Member Andee, who shares how this community has been the ideal experience for her as it has helped her feel the connection, camaraderie, and support that has validated just how far she has come in her own healing journey. In this episode Val […]
Episode 133: Chronic Burnout: Trauma Therapy Success Stories
February 21, 2022 19:55 - 39 minutes - 29.3 MBJoin Valerie as she shares some pretty amazing stories about how a few people came in with pervasive stressors (generalized anxiety and hypervigilence, intimate relationship issues, and issues of boundaries and self respect at work) and how together we learned how to tackle their chronic burnout with trauma therapy. These first hand accounts can be […]
Episode 132: CHRONIC BURNOUT and Childhood Trauma [Part II]
February 14, 2022 20:07 - 29 minutes - 23.5 MBJoin Valerie and her lovely assistant Nathan as they talk about the how feeling chronically burned out (overwhelmed, perpetually exhausted) might be connected to a history of unresolved childhood trauma. In this and the previous episode, Valerie puts on her trauma therapist hat and walks you through all things childhood trauma and why those with […]
Episode 131: CHRONIC BURNOUT and Childhood Trauma [Part 1]
February 07, 2022 20:00 - 37 minutes - 29.5 MBJoin Valerie and her lovely assistant Nathan as they talk about the how feeling chronically burned out (overwhelmed, perpetually exhausted) might be connected to a history of unresolved childhood trauma. In this and the following episodes, Valerie puts on her trauma therapist hat and walks you through all things childhood trauma. Join her and Nathan […]
Episode 130: Burnout Warrior Spotlight
January 31, 2022 21:17 - 43 minutes - 30.3 MBJoin Valerie as she spends a few minutes in conversation with Lark, a member of her burnout recovery community who has jumped into her own growth journey “with both feet”. What motivated her to finally take this step? Compassion fatigue at work, the need to better understand the wounds she had received as a woman […]
Episode 129: What Relationships can Show Us About our Shadows
January 24, 2022 20:16 - 33 minutes - 27.5 MBJoin Val and Nathan as they share stories about how relationships with intimate partners, friends, and authority figures can teach us volumes about our shadow selves. They walk through 3 final questions that we can ask ourselves about our most important relationships to learn about our shadow selves and potentially become healthier and more fulfilled […]
Episode 128: Want to Learn about Your Shadow Self? Reflect on these 3 Questions!
January 17, 2022 20:08 - 39 minutes - 32.3 MBJoin Valerie and Nathan as they banter about all things burnout recovery and spiritual development. In this SHADOW series, they talk about 3 of 6 questions we can ask ourselves to learn about our shadow…that part of our identity that we deny or pretend does not exist. These first three questions have to do with […]
Episode 127: Coming to Know Our Shadow Selves
January 10, 2022 14:22 - 37 minutes - 26.7 MBIn this episode Valerie and Nathan define burnout as the ultimate outcome of not knowing ourselves and then living accordingly. How to overcome? Well, for starters, lets accept that there are parts of ourselves that we don’t exactly like and then we spend a lot of time and energy hiding and trying to forget about […]
Episode 126: 8 Stages of Burnout Recovery
January 04, 2022 00:12 - 36 minutes - 26.4 MBIn this episode, Valerie breaks down her own methodology of how she works with individuals in their burnout recovery journey. Through countless hours of clinical work with people she has created a predictable path to healing infusing psychology, trauma recovery techniques, and spirituality elements. This is a mind/body/soul healing journey that has helped many. AND […]
Episode 125: Spiritual Burnout
December 27, 2021 20:56 - 29 minutes - 21 MBAre you lit up by your own spiritual practices, study, traditions? No? Why not? Because guess what? As grown ups, WE are responsible for our own relationships (including our relationship with the divine and any institutions that might be trying to facilitation our relationship with the divine) and if they are not lighting us up, […]
Episode 124: Burnout and Boundaries
December 20, 2021 20:45 - 28 minutes - 20.8 MBVal and Nathan here for you as you are navigating the complicated moments around saying “yes” and saying “no” to extended family expectations. We are the first to admit that this is touchy but also feel that staying true to ourselves and staying in close and loving connection with loved ones is possible!
Episode 123: Burnout and the Courage to Fail
December 13, 2021 01:04 - 32 minutes - 23 MBJoin Valerie and Mary, a member of her new membership community as they talk about Mary’s experience doing one-one-one coaching work around her struggles to give and give. And give. This feels noble, right? Well…with some exploration, Val and Mary realized that Mary gives because she is trying to prove herself–to everyone. And she gives […]
Episode 122: Burnout, 4 Kinds of Depression, and the Holidays
December 06, 2021 10:54 - 53 minutes - 37.6 MBJoin Valerie and Nathan as they break down four possible origins for depression and how each of these kinds of depression have impacted them personally. They also talk about how and why depression especially impacts many of us during holidays or other “anniversary” times of the year, and what to do if/when you are feeling […]
Episode 121: “From Crisis to Connection” Collaboration: HOW BURNOUT CAN MAKE YOU STRONGER
November 30, 2021 21:04 - 59 minutes - 45.2 MBIn this episode, Valerie is guest of therapist Geoff Steurer, host of the podcast “From Crisis to Connection” and they talk about how Val’s view of burnout is extremely timely and very unique. From Val’s perspective, burnout comes from a lost relationship with ones one inner divine, a part of each of us that is […]
Episode 120: The Formula to Guarantee that a Man will Burnout by Age 40.
November 22, 2021 01:47 - 32 minutes - 23.2 MBIn this week’s episode, Valerie and Nathan talk about 3 typical midlife professional burnout paths. They then talk about the atypical [and optimal] path to career and personal development that prevents midlife burnout. Of course this conversation is only half of the story. As men cannot give birth, (whether we like it or not) their […]
Episode 119: Want a Strong Relationship? DON’T Expect Them to Solve All of Your Problems
November 15, 2021 01:22 - 36 minutes - 25.9 MBJoin Valerie and Nathan this week as they break down the phenomena of “The Magical Other”…the desire each of us has to find the right person [or job, church, community…choose your favorite quick fix solution]. which will make all of our troubles go away. And how this NEVER works and actually poisons the potential of […]
Episode 118: Reframing Happiness as Key to Burnout Recovery: Happiness isn’t What, Where, or When you Think…
November 08, 2021 10:19 - 30 minutes - 22.2 MBJoin Val and Nathan as they riff about Nathan’s favorite book that saved him from crisis when none of the supposedly air tight solutions worked. The book taught him that when we have learned about how to find happiness is dead wrong.
Episode 117: Why is Midlife Crisis seen as SHAMEFUL?
November 01, 2021 10:13 - 35 minutes - 25.8 MBJoin Val and Nathan as they ponder the hundreds of books written on potty training and sleep training for infants and toddlers and almost nothing written about equally “angsty” developmental topics that happen fifty years later.
Episode 116: Burnout Recovery: Seizing the Permission to Find a Passion
October 25, 2021 11:22 - 28 minutes - 21.4 MBIn this episode, hubby Nathan and I riff about his deep dive into the unknown of his own interests…his burn out came in part because he literally didn’t know what he liked…aside from liking to please others and do what he’d been socialized to do–protect and provide. Was he “allowed” to do something for himself? […]
Episode 115: Moving Beyond Shallow Solutions to Burnout
October 17, 2021 23:20 - 30 minutes - 22.3 MBJoin me and my hubby Nathan, back on the show to talk about burn out recovery with some depth. He actually interviews me about how this became my passion and how I’m working towards helping as many people as possible through the launch of my worldwide online burn out recovery learning and support community.