Episode 1: Identity Part One

Who are we?

Like, literally. Who are these people doing this podcast? But also, like, existentially? How do we identify?

In our first episode, we discuss how we handle ice breakers, the aspects of our identities that most resonate with us, and whatever random tangent our brains push us toward.

Using Doug's current Twitter bio as an impromptu guide, we start off our conversation on identity by focusing on religion, sexuality, and mental health.

This is a big topic, so we're planning for at least a part two coming next Tuesday. Stay tuned!

[TRIGGER WARNINGS: bisexual/asexual erasure, religious indoctrination, sexual abuse, purity culture, rape, depression, mental illness]

Show Notes

Minute 01: We discuss icebreakers and how they answer the dreaded 'tell me about yourself' prompt. Doug references an scene from the TV show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 2 Episode 4. He's a huge fan of the show and will likely reference it again, so here's the entire CXG song list in chronological order--if you want to do some homework. 

Minute 09: We continue by discussing the difference between the 'tell me about yourself' question and the 'tell me who you are' question. Which aspects of our identities do we claim as us? Since Doug uses several such identifiers in his current Twitter bio, we decide to use it as a guide for the remainder of the discussion. One part of his current bio worth calling out is the recommendation to follow @kaitlincurtice and buy her new book. Kaitlin is an indigenous speaker, writer, and poet who champions decolonization from a faith-based perspective. Doug is a huge supporter!

Minute 13: Doug's current Twitter bio begins with the phrase, "Liberation is my theology." We start unpacking our identities by talking about religion. Doug attempts to give a white guy explainer for Vanessa on what liberation theology is, including lowkey bragging about a tweet he is embarrassingly proud of. Vanessa expresses the difficulty she has in seeing religion as a framework for good (both Vanessa and Doug--but especially Doug--have roots in Evangelical Christianity). We continue talking for several minutes about the intersection of religion, belief systems, and ethics. Doug's spirituality is entirely about his ethical convictions and he doesn't really believe in any thing supernatural at all--even though he identifies as a Christian. Vanessa identifies more with pagan spirituality, but does tend to believe in--as Doug would describe it--"woowoo" stuff.

Minute 22: We move on to the next part of Doug's Twitter bio, "aro/ace." In terms of sexual orientation, Doug identifies as aromantic and asexual, while Vanessa identifies as bisexual. We both express surprise and excitement that it turns out we're both part of the "rainbow club." We talk about gatekeeping in the queer community, and how each of our respective orientations are often excluded for various reasons. We touch on rape/sexual abuse and the impact it may or may not have on sexual orientation. Finally, we talk about purity culture and its relationship to the development (or lack thereof) of sexual attraction.

"The people who fought to build this community and bring this community out of the darkness did not do so so that we could all be assholes to each other." - Vanessa [CLICK TO TWEET]

"You can still accept who you are regardless of how you came to be that way." - Doug [CLICK TO TWEET]

Minute 35: The last identifier we cover centers around the concept of neurodiversity. One of Doug's hashtags is #NeurodiverseSquad (founded by artist Dani Donovan--another amazing human Doug supports), an online community Doug participates in, and Vanessa wonders if it's a community she'd be welcome in. What qualifies as "neurodivergent," and what qualifies as "mental illness?" Doug has ADHD, which is generally considered to be part of that club. Vanessa has BPD, and that doesn't get as much attention (if any) in the neurodivergent space. Vanessa and Doug both experience depression--does that belong under the umbrella of "neurodivergent?"

Minute 44: After deciding to wrap the episode up and save the rest for part two, we go on to discuss the results of our first online personality quiz--a segment we plan on making part of the show. For our first quiz, Vanessa picked a BuzzFeed Quiz in which your personality is summed up in combination of one character from The Office and one character from Parks and Rec (both shows Vanessa and Doug love). It turns out that Vanessa is a combination of Erin Hannon and Chris Traeger, while Doug is a combination of Dwight Schrute and April Ludgate. FYI, Doug mentions a psychological assessment he took a while back showing which fictional characters most correspond to your personality. You can find that assessment here.

This episode was recorded on May 6, 2020. Happy Birthday to our nephew RJ!