Tell Me About Your Kids
176 episodes - English - Latest episode: 10 months ago -Be a fly on the wall of unfiltered 1 on 1 counseling sessions as Bonnie Harris, 30 yr. veteran of Connective Parenting, author and counselor helps parents navigate their daily challenges and weaves her compassion and empathy for parents as she builds their capability to turn their frustrations into opportunities to connect with their children.
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Episodes
Building Bridges Out Of Trauma
November 17, 2020 09:00 - 43 minutes - 30 MBAnne and her 10 year old son live alone while she and her husband have a trial separation. In her desire to protect her son from what she experienced at 10, Anne controls the environment of their home to unconsciously insure the peace and calm she thinks necessary to prevent the hurt and danger she fears from any amount of disruption. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonni...
Building Bridges Out Of Trauma
November 17, 2020 09:00 - 43 minutes - 30 MBAnne and her 10 year old son live alone while she and her husband have a trial separation. In her desire to protect her son from what she experienced at 10, Anne controls the environment of their home to unconsciously insure the peace and calm she thinks necessary to prevent the hurt and danger she fears from any amount of disruption. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonni...
The Test Of Covid—For Better Or For Worse?
November 10, 2020 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18.5 MBWe may all be sharing the same pandemic but how we each deal with it is infinitely different. It comes down to relationship—relationship with yourself, with your partner, with each child. Being thrown together in this pandemic pushes relationships to the ultimate test. Can I live with myself, can I live with you, without exhausting struggles? Do you feel trapped and forced or do you see this as an opportunity? Do you drain out day after day or actively refuel? Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., directo...
Puzzle Pieces #2 The Test Of Covid—For Better Or For Worse?
November 10, 2020 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18.5 MBWe may all be sharing the same pandemic but how we each deal with it is infinitely different. It comes down to relationship—relationship with yourself, with your partner, with each child. Being thrown together in this pandemic pushes relationships to the ultimate test. Can I live with myself, can I live with you, without exhausting struggles? Do you feel trapped and forced or do you see this as an opportunity? Do you drain out day after day or actively refuel? Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., directo...
It's Hard To Deal With Someone Else's Grief
November 03, 2020 09:00 - 47 minutes - 32.8 MBTwo kids, two temperaments, two developmental stages experience the death of their father. Leah is managing as best she can to accommodate her children’s experience of that death. But the younger child was only 2.5 – hard to know what the emotional effect of that death had on him. Sometimes an adult perspective can skew what is not understood about a very undeveloped brain and therefore behavioral cues can be misinterpreted. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years...
Is It OK To Love Your Teenager With Conditions?
October 27, 2020 08:00 - 52 minutes - 36 MBJane’s teenage son is pulling away, getting secretive, dropping grades, and numbing out in his room on his computer. This common scenario typically provokes fear in parents leading to clutching, micromanaging, blame, and coming down harder with restrictions, and sending messages that love and acceptance is given when behavior and grades improve—exactly the opposite of what is needed. This is unintentional of course—but Ned’s behavior signals the intention he feels. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., di...
Is It OK To Love Your Teenager With Conditions?
October 27, 2020 08:00 - 52 minutes - 36 MBJane’s teenage son is pulling away, getting secretive, dropping grades, and numbing out in his room on his computer. This common scenario typically provokes fear in parents leading to clutching, micromanaging, blame, and coming down harder with restrictions, and sending messages that love and acceptance is given when behavior and grades improve—exactly the opposite of what is needed. This is unintentional of course—but Ned’s behavior signals the intention he feels. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., di...
Puzzle Pieces #1 "Why Would You Do That?"
October 20, 2020 08:00 - 48 minutes - 33.3 MBPuzzle Pieces These once in a while episodes are concepts Bonnie has developed over the years that she discusses and ponders with her producer, Adam. They are critical pieces needed to fit together to form the big picture of a connected family. It’s when some of these pieces are missing that parents feel the most frustrated and drained in their attempts at controlling their children. Finding their places in the puzzle can be life changing. #1 “Why Would You Do That?” Understanding Behavior...
Stubborn Kid, Frustrated Parents
October 13, 2020 08:00 - 49 minutes - 33.9 MBAmy and John have a 4.5 year old integrity child who has gotten into a rather rough physical fight with her best friend. Fiona also seems to be “refusing” to use the toilet. Where does keeping secrets fit in the picture of Fiona’s desires? Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-you...
The Orchid Child and the Dandelion Child Pt. 2
October 06, 2020 08:00 - 23 minutes - 15.9 MBThis is part 2 of Bonnie's conversation with Mackenzie. Bonnie’s descriptions of “Integrity and Harmony” kids come from the 30 years of research done on the “Orchid and Dandelion” children which she discusses in Pt. 2. And we hear how Mackenzie puts her learning into practice to help her son trust his mom and feel heard. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com ...
Who is this child and where did he come from? Pt. 1
September 29, 2020 08:00 - 39 minutes - 27.2 MBMackenzie’s parenting turned a major corner when she understood that her very demanding, exhausting son is what Bonnie calls an “Integrity Child”. This revolutionary understanding about the child who “won’t take no for an answer” can flip your mindset so compassion and understanding replaces anger, criticism, and frustrated attempts to get this child to change. And when battles stop, the integrity child can remove his armor. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years...
Where the Worried Things Are
September 22, 2020 08:00 - 45 minutes - 31.1 MBWhether anxiety or worry, childhood can be torture for a sensitive child and trying to fix it can be a parent’s full-time job. In this pre-covid recorded segment, Bonnie encourages Sarah to validate her daughter’s anxious concerns rather than giving reassurance or protection. Before Nora can move out of her stuckness, she needs to feel normal rather than a problem. We talk about the difference between sympathy and empathy—each parent tends toward a different one—and how one can exacerbate th...
Sibling Rivalry Pt. 2 The No-Blame Solution
September 15, 2020 08:00 - 35 minutes - 24.5 MBJulie learns the No-Blame skill that will help her children learn from the natural consequences of their actions when that wall of defense is no longer needed. Much of the burden of parenting comes from the judgments, perceptions and expectations swirling around in your head telling you you’re not doing it right or your children will grow up to hate each other. In this episode Bonnie helps Julie see the mindset shift that releases much of that burden Julie is not even aware she is carrying. ...
Sibling Rivalry Pt. 1: The Triangle Game
September 08, 2020 12:00 - 41 minutes - 28.6 MBJulie wants her boys’ fights to “just stop” and tells them so. That’s as far as she's gotten. In this episode Bonnie helps her see how she unintentionally perpetuates the fighting with blame and finds herself pulled into “The Triangle Game” pitting her kids against each other to win her favor. When she fears the worst, it comes out in blame. When Julie is able to stop projecting her own experience onto her older son and see both her boys from a new perspective, dynamics in the family will ch...
Part Two: Parenting in Public
September 01, 2020 08:00 - 33 minutes - 23.3 MBMore with Morgan, mother of 2 1/2 and 5 year old boys, as we listen to the difficulty she has dealing with her son’s unacceptable, aggressive behavior when the eyes of others are watching and take priority over the needs of her son. We worked thru how to handle parenting in public with strength. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com Books: When Your Kids Push ...
Part One: The Anger Trap
August 25, 2020 08:00 - 36 minutes - 25 MBUnderstanding her 5 year old son’s natural impulsivity and developmental lack of self-control is critical for Morgan to remain calm and thus effective in the face of her son’s aggressive behavior—especially when she feels as much anger as her son while trying desperately to hide it. Part Two coming next week! Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com Books: When ...
Part One: The Anger Trap
August 25, 2020 08:00 - 36 minutes - 25 MBUnderstanding her 5 year old son’s natural impulsivity and developmental lack of self-control is critical for Morgan to remain calm and thus effective in the face of her son’s aggressive behavior—especially when she feels as much anger as her son while trying desperately to hide it. Part Two coming next week! Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com Books: When ...
To school or not to school—that is the question!
August 18, 2020 10:00 - 33 minutes - 23 MBIn light of “The Decision” that is facing parents all over the world, Bonnie and Adam discuss the difficulty and the complexity of what families are dealing with approaching the weird new school year. Adam shares the convoluted layers that he and his family navigated in prioritizing their decision. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com Books: When Your Kids Pu...
Covid friendships and resentments
August 11, 2020 10:00 - 36 minutes - 24.8 MBToday Bonnie talks to Katherine. A single mom trying to keep her parents and her teen daughter safe from Covid 19, yet missing the responsibility she is transferring onto her capable daughter whose anger is simmering just under the surface. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-yo...
Drowning In Humans
August 04, 2020 10:00 - 58 minutes - 40.1 MBToday Bonnie talks with Jane, mother of three—7, 10 and 12—who is a self-described “regulator” in her family. Given the role Jane had to play starting at age 7 as the oldest of three with a not-present mother and drug addicted father, the role of regulator comes naturally to her. During Covid, that role is more exhausting than ever. Now she needs to start letting go so her children can learn to regulate themselves. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coachi...
Part 2: Raising a Bi-racial Child in the Time of Covid
July 28, 2020 16:00 - 34 minutes - 23.6 MB*This is a two part episode. The pandemic and time of racial protests for this mom, who has suffered her own anxiety and panic disorder, makes parenting her bi-racial daughter with anxiety especially difficult. She naturally wants to protect her daughter from the pain she herself has experienced, yet learns that that protection may be keeping her daughter from getting stronger. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents...
Part 2: Raising a Bi-racial Child in the Time of Covid
July 28, 2020 16:00 - 34 minutes - 23.6 MB*This is a two part episode. The pandemic and time of racial protests for this mom, who has suffered her own anxiety and panic disorder, makes parenting her bi-racial daughter with anxiety especially difficult. She naturally wants to protect her daughter from the pain she herself has experienced, yet learns that that protection may be keeping her daughter from getting stronger. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents...
Part 1: Anxiety in the Time of Covid
July 25, 2020 04:00 - 42 minutes - 29.5 MB*This is a two part episode. The pandemic and time of racial protests for this mom, who has suffered her own anxiety and panic disorder, makes parenting her bi-racial daughter with anxiety especially difficult. She naturally wants to protect her daughter from the pain she herself has experienced, yet learns that that protection may be keeping her daughter from getting stronger. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents...
What is Connective Parenting? Glad you asked.
July 24, 2020 19:00 - 31 minutes - 21.5 MBWhat is Connective Parenting? If you were brought up afraid of getting in trouble, Connective Parenting is a 180º mindset shift. A connected family is based on mutually respectful relationships. Corrective measures are gained through problem solving. Unconditional acceptance sets the foundation for self-confidence. This philosophy is put into practical application when producer, Adam Arnone, father of two, and I apply it to an ordinary difficult situation with his daughter. Bonnie Harris, ...
How It All Began...and then the world changed
July 24, 2020 17:00 - 14 minutes - 10.2 MBLife changed just as we were about to launch Tell Me About Your Kids, so we started again. This intro tells you about my background and how I came to all of this parenting business. And what I learned from my, shall we say strong willed, daughter who brought me to my knees and taught me how to be a better parent. Producer Adam Arnone shares his experience with parenting during the pandemic. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing...
About Bonnie Harris
July 21, 2020 20:00 - 3 minutes - 2.64 MBWelcome to Tell Me About Your Kids. Learn about Bonnie Harris and how it all began. Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/) Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.co...