Talk Your Poly Off artwork

Talk Your Poly Off

96 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 3 years ago - ★★★★★ - 13 ratings

In this podcast we will explore many aspects of Polyamory and ethical non-monogamy while sharing our relationship adventures and the knowledge/experiences of our guests. We are recording from the beautiful Pacific Northwest and enjoy sharing and discussing this loving lifestyle.

Society & Culture polyamory discussion advice coaching i love poly ethical non-monogamy swinger lifestyle pacific northwest relationships
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Episodes

Competitiveness in Relationships

June 15, 2021 08:00 - 44 minutes - 61.5 MB

In the past we've talked about feeling competitive with a meta especially when playing the "compare" game. But in this weeks episode we take it from a different angle! Have you ever felt in competition with your PARTNER? Maybe it's who earns more money or who has more partners but sometimes it happens. We discuss some ways to recognize it and tips to process it and move through. Oh and you don't want to miss this explanation of what an actual "competitive relationship" is according...

TYPO Phone Questions part 4, Monsuta Solo Episode

June 08, 2021 11:21 - 46 minutes - 63.6 MB

Monsuta takes the reigns and flies solo for this week's discussion. This week is answering questions from the TYPO phone, from first dates to breakups.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some more of Bella and Monsuta head over to our Patreon page for bonus episodes and to join our Polya...

Holiday Observance

June 01, 2021 15:00 - 55 seconds - 1010 KB

We will be off this week. Taking a vacation this week. Sorry and thank you! Love you!

Speedbumps Coming Into Polyamory

May 25, 2021 08:00 - 45 minutes - 63.2 MB

Being at a place today where our relationship is stable and healthy and we feel pretty confident in our relationship skills its easy to forget some of the struggles and difficult feelings that came up in the early days. The anxiety around dating a new person when you already have a partner. Or the fear around sex with someone new. So many speed bumps to maneuver when you are first moving from monogamy to polyamory and today we talk about and share some of our experiences getting o...

How Do I Open Up To Swinging

May 18, 2021 08:00 - 53 minutes - 73.2 MB

Today we have a question from an anonymous TYPO Phone caller which we felt could be a whole episode on its own. What's the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions they're a swinger? It's often times some 60s or 70s house key party. And while we love a good house party... this doesn't quite capture the full essence of swinging. We want to help discuss swinging in a way to bring some enlightenment around today's question, which is a perfect example of someone trying to ...

Relationship Equity

May 11, 2021 08:00 - 51 minutes - 70.5 MB

Many of us grew up being told and believing that in order for things to be "fair" they needed to be equal. For those who are perhaps a little younger this reminds me of those participation trophies. However, as we've grown up, we've realized that not everyone needs the same things in life. While one person might need the validation of a participation trophy another person may need to be challenged and earn their 1st place ribbon. It's all based on individual circumstances. That's ho...

Intimacy and Vulnerability

May 04, 2021 08:00 - 46 minutes - 64.2 MB

Building an intimate relationship often needs all parties involved to show some level of intimacy. To open up and let others in is being vulnerable but in order to do that there needs to be things like trust and acceptance which happen to be key factors in building intimacy. So in this episode we visit how vulnerability and intimacy go hand in hand and how they impacted our weekend trip away to Bend, Oregon. For more information on intimacy here are a few places to start: 8 Books...

TYPO Phone Questions, part 3

April 27, 2021 08:00 - 51 minutes - 70.4 MB

Back to the TYPO Phone! This week we have some questions ranging from why so many people struggle with kitchen table poly, a question around a partner breaking their "rules", one about pet names for partners and we have a great discussion on all things in between. No matter where you are starting on your polyamory journey we all have questions, big or small someone has probably been there before and struggled with the same thing. We want to make sure you know you aren't alone. Plea...

Talking About Polyamory

April 20, 2021 08:00 - 46 minutes - 64.4 MB

Have you ever been hanging out for a game night with a group of friends and the question comes up..."so you have a girlfriend AND a boyfriend, how does that work?" Or maybe it's the holiday season and you want to discuss bringing multiple partners over to meet the family. Or maybe it's even a stranger in the park watching an ethical triad raise and parent a child together and they come over to ask some questions. How do you handle the questions? How do you talk about polyamory with ...

Intimidated By Metamours

April 13, 2021 08:00 - 48 minutes - 66.5 MB

Thinking back over the years there have been many times where a new meta is entering the picture and all those insecurities pop up which then creates this "perfect" image in our head of who our meta is. "Oh they have a better job than I do so they must be better." "They are skinnier than I am therefore a better partner.". These thoughts of ours cause us to often times be intimidated by a new meta. Sometimes we are the intimidating one and don't even realize it. In todays episode we ...

Misconceptions of Polyamory

April 06, 2021 08:00 - 53 minutes - 73.5 MB

Have you ever told a friend or family member that you're polyamorous and they spit back some misconception or myth they heard about what that means? Maybe you're newly interested in this lifestyle and have come across some of these myths in your online reading. However you stumbled across these we thought we would give our take on them. And if you've got a story to share with us about a polyam myth, please shoot us a text or email because we want to hear it! Please help us help oth...

Self Sabotage

March 30, 2021 08:00 - 52 minutes - 72.7 MB

Self sabotage is the topic this week and it's something we've probably all experienced at some point, even if we weren't aware of it in the moment. Why do we do it? How can we stop doing it? We cover all that and more! If you're enjoying the show please share it with a friend! Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some...

Life Changes & Support in Polyamory

March 23, 2021 08:00 - 43 minutes - 59.7 MB

Well it's been quite the week over here in TYPO land. Monsuta lost his job and Bella is wrapping up her first week on her preop liquid diet! There's a lot going on and this week we discuss how to support your partner(s) during the big and small changes that happen in life. How to show support and how to ask for support all while plans could change in an instant. Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on w...

TYPO Phone Questions Part 2

March 16, 2021 08:00 - 49 minutes - 68.6 MB

We tackle a little Q & A from the listeners today all centered around your partner spending time with their other partners. How do you spend your alone time? How do you handle intimacy or a meta's privacy? Do you have questions you want our help with? Leave us a voicemail or text us at (209) 536-8976! Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners f...

Bella's Ear Ducks and Dating

March 09, 2021 09:00 - 41 minutes - 57 MB

Ear ducks, dating, gaming and miniatures and a little light hearted chat this week with Monsuta and Bella! You never know where you'll end up with this episode. Join us for some much needed laughs and awkward dating questions as we step back from the heavy personal development theme for a moment.  Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find ...

Personal Development Part 6: Thoughts, Emotions, & Processing Them All

March 02, 2021 09:00 - 43 minutes - 59.4 MB

Have you ever sat back and were really mindful about how your body physically feels your emotions? Thought work has become a huge part of our daily lives over the last year or so and we wanted to take this opportunity to talk a little bit about how your thoughts create your feelings which cause an action which give you a result leading to your beliefs. It's an endless circle and we go into all of it! Let's say you understand this cycle and now it's time to actually process through s...

Personal Development Part 5: The Mirror: Communication and Comprehension

February 23, 2021 09:00 - 35 minutes - 48.9 MB

If you've been around the polyam community for any length of time you've heard people say "communication is key" or "you wont be successful without communication". Well there's more to it than just communicating and that includes actually understanding and processing what your partner is telling you. They can tell you all day long what they want or need but you need to be able to comprehend the message being sent to you. In this weeks episode we cover just that! Please help us hel...

The Mirror: Communication and Comprehension

February 23, 2021 09:00 - 35 minutes - 48.9 MB

If you've been around the polyam community for any length of time you've heard people say "communication is key" or "you wont be successful without communication". Well there's more to it than just communicating and that includes actually understanding and processing what your partner is telling you. They can tell you all day long what they want or need but you need to be able to comprehend the message being sent to you. In this weeks episode we cover just that! Please help us help others b...

Baggage and Boundaries

February 16, 2021 09:00 - 41 minutes - 57.5 MB

Welcome to our B&B episode! No, not bed and breakfast....baggage and boundaries! If you're a human adult, you've got baggage! Join the club, it's nothing to hide or be ashamed of and actually the more open and honest you can be about your history and baggage the more likely your partner is to understand you and where you come from. In this episode we give our advice on how to use that past baggage to help you create healthy boundaries. Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "...

Personal Development Part 4: Baggage and Boundaries

February 16, 2021 09:00 - 41 minutes - 57.5 MB

Welcome to our B&B episode! No, not bed and breakfast....baggage and boundaries! If you're a human adult, you've got baggage! Join the club, it's nothing to hide or be ashamed of and actually the more open and honest you can be about your history and baggage the more likely your partner is to understand you and where you come from. In this episode we give our advice on how to use that past baggage to help you create healthy boundaries. Please help us help others by hitting that "fo...

Personal Development Part 3: Wants & Needs in Relationships

February 09, 2021 09:00 - 42 minutes - 59 MB

Have you ever sat down and reflected internally to really examine what your wants and needs are when it comes to relationships? Sure we understand a need as necessary for survival and a want is just an enhancement but how does that relate to relationships? Bella and Monsuta talk about just that for this special episode that just so happens to release on our 4 year anniversary! (Please ignore the sound of the washer in the audio, we didn't realize that would come through in the audio...

Wants & Needs in Relationships

February 09, 2021 09:00 - 42 minutes - 59 MB

Have you ever sat down and reflected internally to really examine what your wants and needs are when it comes to relationships? Sure we understand a need as necessary for survival and a want is just an enhancement but how does that relate to relationships? Bella and Monsuta talk about just that for this special episode that just so happens to release on our 4 year anniversary! (Please ignore the sound of the washer in the audio, we didn't realize that would come through in the audio but, well...

Ego, Esteem, and Instinct

February 02, 2021 09:00 - 42 minutes - 58.1 MB

Continuing this season of personal development we jump into a conversation around ego, the good and bad! Do you have some experience with your ego getting in the way? Tell us about it, give us some feedback, or reach out and say hi! Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some more of Bella and Monsuta head over to our Patreon page...

Personal Development Part 2: Ego, Esteem, and Instinct

February 02, 2021 09:00 - 42 minutes - 58.1 MB

Continuing this season of personal development we jump into a conversation around ego, the good and bad! Do you have some experience with your ego getting in the way? Tell us about it, give us some feedback, or reach out and say hi! Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some more of Bella and Monsuta head over to our Pa...

Personal Development Part 1: Learning Your Gold Talk

January 26, 2021 09:00 - 41 minutes - 57.7 MB

Our season of personal development begins with a discussion around figuring out who you are! What is your self identity? Where do you even start to have that internal conversation? Hopefully whats worked for us can help you too, give us some feedback or reach out and say hi! Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some mo...

Self Improvement: Learning Your Gold Talk

January 26, 2021 09:00 - 41 minutes - 57.7 MB

Our season of personal development begins with a discussion around figuring out who you are! What is your self identity? Where do you even start to have that internal conversation? Hopefully whats worked for us can help you too, give us some feedback or reach out and say hi! Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some more of Bell...

Planning For Success

January 19, 2021 09:00 - 42 minutes - 59.1 MB

Coming up on the end of January 2021 Monsuta and Bella took some time to really plan out some goals.  After the year we just survived its tough to imagine planning out anything for this unknown future. But they aren't about to let that fear of the unknown cause life to pause. They don't want to lose another year of life ... so with that said instead of planning out events and bucket list travel vacations, they turned inward and wrote out some more personal goals that will help each...

TYPO Phone Questions Part 1

January 12, 2021 09:00 - 39 minutes - 54.9 MB

Bella and Monsuta race to the TYPO Phone to answer distress calls! Listen in as these caped crusaders rush to aid others! Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some more of Bella and Monsuta head over to our Patreon page for bonus episodes and to join our Polyam Fam Facebook group! And of course you can reach out to us ...

Goodbye 2020 Hello 2021

January 05, 2021 09:00 - 32 minutes - 45.3 MB

What a strange and crazy year 2020 has been but we survived. Along the way we made some changes in our lives, we helped out some people in need, built stronger closer bonds with family, and found ourselves binge watching some interesting tv shows. In our first podcast episode of 2021 we get into a bit of catch up and discuss how life has been going for us over this past year. Looking forward into the next few episodes while we shake off the dust and get back into the swing of thing...

Leading into 2021

January 02, 2021 21:24 - 17 minutes - 15.9 MB

Monsuta and Bella are sitting outside of TYPO HQ on the tail end of 2020, thinking and talking about the year we are leaving behind and looking to what the new year hopes are. You also get to meet Dozer, the neighbor dog.

Back on track teaser

October 11, 2020 06:14 - 12 minutes - 17.3 MB

Bella and Monsuta are slated to return with new topics and new energy!  Keep us on your mind because you're on ours!

The One About Change

June 09, 2020 07:30 - 57 minutes - 78.7 MB

You've heard that old cliche, the only constant in the universe is change. Today, we discuss change and how it affects us and our relationships. We tackle that concept of how change is bad and how, even in the toughest change, the idea of bad change is mostly a myth. We go over aspects of change, how we perceive it, and how to work through it in those times where it seems like a life ending situation. Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and lea...

Am I Good Enough?

June 02, 2020 07:30 - 44 minutes - 61.8 MB

Today and always, we stand with the people of America and across the globe against racism and look forward to the change created as a result of these protests in hopes for a better, more equitable tomorrow for all of humanity. #blacklivesmatter We had a chance recently to sit down and watch Louis Theroux's: Altered States - Season 1 and happen to know some people in the #lovewithoutlimits episode and realized there was a theme where he often asked something along the lines of, why ...

Anxiety Trip

May 26, 2020 07:30 - 58 minutes - 80.4 MB

We took a trip north to visit the Semiahmoo Resort, next to Canada and had a great trip we want to share with you. While there, we encountered a few instances which caused anxiety which we had to process so we decided to discuss this topic with you this week. Come talk with us this week about how to identify, get a handle on, and support someone through anxiety. Enjoy the virtual road trip we take you on and don't forget the #clamsquirt Please help us help others by hitting that ...

Deep Dive Discussion (3D)

May 19, 2020 07:30 - 58 minutes - 80.6 MB

#ilovepoly3D Last week, we covered a weekly polycule check-in with our KTT. This week, we take our partner check-in to a deeper level for some serious relationship mindfulness. We talk you through our worksheet for a regular deep dive discussion on each of your relationships. This 3D worksheet is intended for partner to partner discussion but works well for anyone with whom you have a relationship. Learn more about yourself, your relationship, and what your future has in store. You ...

KTT: Our relationship check in tool

May 12, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 85 MB

#ilovepolyKTT Our relationships do best when we are checking in regularly with our partners, and that doesn't mean just asking "hey are things good with us?" because that can be blind siding and unnerving for the unsuspecting partner. We are talking about doing the sort of weekly check-in that takes a little more effort and forethought. We want to be able to not only discuss our relationship and what's working or not but also let's go over this weeks schedule and meal plan and budg...

Poly And The Pour Method

May 05, 2020 07:05 - 1 hour - 82.5 MB

The world is still in a tumultuous state and there's a lot of tough in our lives. It can become super easy to let the bad take over and for us to fall into that pit of negativity, it's easy to become the negativity we are being subjected to on a daily basis. It's this negative influence which sometimes drives us to become stressed or frustrated, to feel like our life is out of control, which is bad news. The good news is we don't have to let it take control of us. Bella and Monsuta...

Amelia Talks Your Poly Off

April 28, 2020 07:05 - 55 minutes - 76.2 MB

Self isolation and quarantining are happening everywhere and many relationships are finding new challenges or changes in dynamics. This is a strange time for the world. Polyamory in particular, is experiencing quite the shift in how relationships are maintained and how we can creatively work through unexpected problems. Starting with this episode, Talk Your Poly Off is kicking off a multi-episode series highlighting ethical non-monogamists and how they are surviving through the Coro...

Kiki Talks Your Poly Off

April 21, 2020 07:05 - 1 hour - 87.6 MB

Self isolation and quarantining are happening everywhere and many relationships are finding new challenges or changes in dynamics. This is a strange time for the world. Polyamory in particular, is experiencing quite the shift in how relationships are maintained and how we can creatively work through unexpected problems. Starting with this episode, Talk Your Poly Off is kicking off a multi-episode series highlighting ethical non-monogamists and how they are surviving through the Coro...

Laurel Talks Your Poly Off

April 14, 2020 07:05 - 51 minutes - 70.7 MB

Self isolation and quarantining are happening everywhere and many relationships are finding new challenges or changes in dynamics. This is a strange time for the world. Polyamory in particular, is experiencing quite the shift in how relationships are maintained and how we can creatively work through unexpected problems. Starting with this episode, Talk Your Poly Off is kicking off a multi-episode series highlighting ethical non-monogamists and how they are surviving through the Coro...

Dating During COVID-19

April 07, 2020 07:05 - 57 minutes - 78.7 MB

Basic human connection. We all want it, we all need it, how do we get it...in this day of the coronavirus and social distancing? Bella and Monsuta talk about how to get creative to be with friends, see some familiar faces, and hear some friendly voices. Even more than that, the discussion goes into how to date without breaking self quarantine. Talk with us and maybe find a way to explore love and dating from a distance to keep your body safe while making your heart happy. This di...

Opening Your Relationship

March 31, 2020 07:05 - 59 minutes - 82 MB

In this discussion, we approach ethical non-monogamy from the viewpoint of a couple wanting to open their relationship. We mentioned we would provide links to resources for those new to and coming into polyamory so here's a list for you: The books: More Than Two Opening Up The Ethical Slut The Smart Girl's Guide To Polyamory The Jealousy Workbook Articles: 17 Dos and Don'ts Of Open Relationships Opening Up The Relationship: Moving From Monogamy To Ethical Non-monogamy 10 Tips For ...

Generational Polyamory

March 24, 2020 07:05 - 1 hour - 101 MB

This episode is not only about polyamory through generations but features a special guest, DJ. DJ is Monsuta's eldest daughter and also a mother of two. She shares her experiences as a child of a practicing nonmonogamist and how it has affected both her view on relationships as well as how it has helped shape her own life. She even allows us the opportunity to learn a little bit of her polyamorous exploration. Sit and talk with us and listen to how this father and daughter work tog...

Coronavirus and Relationship Management

March 20, 2020 07:00 - 49 minutes - 68.4 MB

These are scary and strange times between a fear of catching or passing along a virus to stress and anxiety about being quarantined in your home on lock down without work to pay bills. We wanted to reach out to our polyam fam and tell you that you aren't alone. We are here. Bella is scared, Monsuta is prepared and always her rock and we will get through this together. How are your relationships in the middle of all of this? What are you doing to nurture each other from a distance? ...

The Long Division of Emotional Intelligence

March 10, 2020 07:30 - 1 hour - 90 MB

Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. This week Bella and Monsuta have a conversation about how we can improve our emotional intelligence skills to be better in our relationships at managing our own emotions and recognizing what others are feeling. Bella decides to take a bath during recording so come join us in the bubbles for a conversation with some take...

Metrics For A Successful Relationship

March 05, 2020 08:10 - 49 minutes - 68.5 MB

What makes a relationship "successful"? How do you measure the success of any of your relationships? Most of us never sit down to consider these things and then when a relationship ends we feel like it "failed", but did it really? I mean do you have great memories? Did you learn a lot from each other? Did you walk away with a great friend? Was the sex fantastic while it lasted? These are all ways to reflect on a relationship and see its success without needing to use the traditional...

The Proof Is In The Poly

March 03, 2020 09:00 - 1 hour - 87.3 MB

Have you ever felt like you didn't seem to be polyamorous enough? Do you feel like you have to "prove your poly" in order to be accepted? Do you come across as monogamous or have you been out of the poly scene for a while and are feeling like you have a hard time stepping back in? Maybe your family and friends just talk about your lifestyle as a phase. Whatever may be making you feel like your "poly cred" is lacking, come talk your poly off with us and perhaps we can help with that ...

Let's Talk About Sex, Poly Style

February 25, 2020 08:00 - 1 hour - 88.1 MB

Sex and polyamory... they aren't always connected yet often times when someone finds out you're polyam their first thought is "oh so you have tons of orgies?!" and while that might be something you're into it isn't the default just because you're polyamorous. A healthy sex life, for people choosing to have sex as part of their dynamic, is a great way to connect on a intimate level with your partner.  On this weeks episode we talk about all the important things leading up to sex inc...

PSA - Schedule Change

February 23, 2020 00:00 - 3 minutes - 4.21 MB

We know you love our show and appreciate what we do and would appreciate feeling that love, so we are asking if you would show that love by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and even leave us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us which helps us share the love. If you want some more of Bella and Monsuta head  over to our Patreon page for bonus episodes and also join our Polyam Fam Facebook group! And of course y...

Using C Words- Competition, Comparison, Compersion, Compassion

February 17, 2020 08:00 - 59 minutes - 81.4 MB

There are so many "C" words we love and talk about...communication, community, cooperation, etc. but what we wanted to focus on the most in this episode are competition, comparison, compersion, and compassion. What do each of these mean and how do they affect our relationships? Bella and Monsuta cover some tips and tricks and what's worked and not worked for them and their relationships. Listen in for some Bella giggles, some heartfelt Monsutisms, and some overall education. Specia...

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