Tales of the Smoking Chihuahua

Holy Crap! We're Back!

March 18, 2015 01:57 - 1 hour - 93.7 MB

After a merciful break from our annoyances, we are back with a vengeance. Scott recounts his losing battle with black ice, Chad talks abou his adventures at Planet ComiCon and Benji apparenly watched every movie and television show out there. Plus, we skip news and talk douchebags. Hope you missed us, 'cause we're back with one of our longest episodes yet...

We'd be the Court Jesters of Kingsman

February 18, 2015 20:01 - 1 hour - 61.3 MB

In this episode we recount our visit to see "Kingsman", Benji registers his indifference toward "Divergent" and Chad thinks Benji's an idiot for liking the new "SpongBob" movie. Plus, Scott goes cookie crazy and we have a very special Reacharound.

The Episode in which Benji Didn’t Forget to Add the intro…Because We Didn’t Write One

February 11, 2015 20:36 - 1 hour - 91.9 MB

In this episode, we make up for a missed week by rambling on for record time. We talk Brian Williams (both good and bad), discuss Project Almanac and the latest SpongeBob movie and examine the inherent racism of Fred Astaire movies. Plus, Benji continues to geek out over 30 Rock and we may actually have made plans for ComicCon.

Benji Screwed Up

February 07, 2015 04:05 - 4 minutes - 4.3 MB

I dropped the ball on the editing, thus making the last episode's title make no sense at all. So, I offer the intro that should have been.

Don't Cross the Streams

January 28, 2015 13:00 - 41 minutes - 47.2 MB

In this, a slightly abbreviated episode, the guys have to bust it to get this show recorded under the wire. But that doesn't keep us from discussing Paddington, American Sniper and Mortdecai, each special in their own way. Plus, we rail on the incompetence of Joplin's city council because everyone loves to hear very specific complaints about a place they don't live. And Benji once again whines about the Regal Northstar 14.

Would You Pay a Buck for a Chili Dog?

January 21, 2015 13:00 - 1 hour - 83.3 MB

In this episode, Benji meets his very special counterpart, Scott talks Inherent Vice and the Chad continues to be on the wrong side of the Penn State argument. Plus, douchebags and reacharounds for all!

The Chihuahuas are Horrible People

January 15, 2015 03:09 - 1 hour - 91.6 MB

In this episode, we prove ourselves to be some of the worst people you'd ever hope to meet. We discuss Taken 3 and Boyhood and once again discuss the douchiness of the Biebs. And we continue to ignore the Fantasy Football League.

It Beats Crapping in a Closet

January 07, 2015 13:00 - 1 hour - 72.8 MB

In this episode, we learn how not to get locked inside an unlocked closet. Benji reveals the fear of The Babadook, Chad makes the mistake of visiting the Northstar 14 and we discuss our New Year's adventures. Plus, we ignore fantasy football and beg for validation.

The New Year Doesn't Start Until We Say It Does

December 31, 2014 23:49 - 1 hour - 106 MB

In this episode, we learn of some special resolutions, discuss natural selection and talk about all forms of Interview related idiocy. Plus, Benji begrudgingly admits that Scott was right (although not officially on the show) and we recap a wild game night in which Benji embraces his dormant inner geek.

For Christmas You Can Unwrap Us!

December 24, 2014 06:25 - 1 hour - 102 MB

In our latest Super Special Christmas Spectacular, we have another visit from the clones, Chad and Scott discuss the latest Hobbit and Benji recounts another "rustic" visit to Branson. All this leads up to our fourth annual Christmas gift exchange and possibly the worst holiday taste test ever. All this, plus a guy screws a pig. What more could you ask for this holiday season?

We'll Put the Jingle in your Bells

December 17, 2014 13:00 - 1 hour - 77.7 MB

Back to normal, as Benji spends the first portion of the show cursing Wavepad and their lousy customer service. We talk Exodus, hit on Jennifer Lawrence in Hunger Games part 17 and discuss the holiday season. Plus, we have clones and douchebags.

A Christmas Miracle or a Lump of Coal?

December 10, 2014 13:00 - 1 hour - 78.4 MB

In this episode, we record and abandon an intro due to audio quality. Then we cross our fingers and hope that the audio is good enough to be listenable as we scramble to find a new audio program for next week. Plus, we discuss a crap ton of movies, Chad and Scott ignore the homework, we meet the worst person in the world this side of Justin Bieber and Benji comes out pro-Taser when it comes to texting in movies. Plus, a very special surprise for all of our listeners (or at least for the n...

The Tryptophan of Podcasts

November 26, 2014 01:26 - 1 hour - 84.6 MB

We're back and we're refreshed. In this episode, we discuss Thanksgiving, what we've been up to with our time and a handful of new movies. We also talk why it is a bad idea to be alone with Bill Cosby and geek out over the potential of the new Star Wars teaser trailer. Plus, we make grand promises about the long gestating Tales of the Smoking Chihuahua novel. And if you haven't downloaded the teaser short story, make sure you grab it while it's still free.

Title To Be Determined

November 12, 2014 13:00 - 1 hour - 71.9 MB

In this episode, the boys discuss Big Hero 6, talk books, The Princess Bride, and The Hobbit. Plus, we misidentify Ashton's phone call, because it's what we do, and we have a sneak winner douchebag who out Bieber's Bieber.

The Days Get Shorter and So Do Our Shows

November 05, 2014 04:44 - 1 hour - 65.7 MB

In this episode, the show returns to a more normal length after our extra long special guest filled last show. We talk beastiality, Halloween, Daylight Savings and douchebags. Benji talks St. Vincent and Life after Beth and we once again mis-identify our caller.

The Sorriest Episode Yet, with a Dash of Emperor for Good Measure

October 29, 2014 00:58 - 1 hour - 130 MB

This, our longest episode yet, is taken over by special guests Sorry Sarah and the Emperor. We discuss Chad's foray into acting, Scott's vomiting of words and Benji's Princess Bride geekery. We debate just how horrible a person Will is (and misidentify his phone call) and taste test most of Chad's kitchen. Plus, we talk Fury, the latest Avengers trailer and a very special animal lover. All this plus Florida Marlins guy.

Listen to this Episode or Chad'll Belt You

October 15, 2014 20:10 - 1 hour - 73.5 MB

In this episode, we worry about Chad's continual issues with violence, we discuss the world's worst human being, Benji gushes over Chef and we begin working on the sequel to one of the greatest motion pictures ever made.

As Angry as a Drunken Pig

October 07, 2014 03:03 - 56 minutes - 64.8 MB

In this episode, we barely discuss Gone Girl because two of the three can't sacrifice their precious time for you. We also hear about round two of Scott vs. Kidney Stones (spoiler: Scott loses). We discuss Chad's upcoming play, gush over the Royals' playoff run and actually remember the homework this week. All this, plus douchebags and a lame football update.

Every Day is National Podcast Day for the Chihuahuas!

October 01, 2014 02:05 - 56 minutes - 63.8 MB

In this episode, we discuss The Boxtrolls, discuss playoff baseball, talk Chad's adventures with inappropriate texts and hear from our esteemed comissioner Little Lumpkin. Plus, we completely forget to mention homework and we show solidarity for a podcasting brother.

Earn Your Listener Merit Badge...in the Worst Way Possible

September 24, 2014 03:05 - 1 hour - 71.7 MB

In this episode, Scott recounts traumatic childhood memories, we discuss A Walk Among the Tombstones, we receive our first ever listener phone call and have a sort of fantasy football update. Plus, we learn the name of the Kansas City Royals base coach and we sort of do homework.

Three Years...One for Each of Our Listeners

September 18, 2014 02:18 - 1 hour - 71.4 MB

Hey! We have a phone number! Call us at 206-736-2267 In this episode, we return from Chad's illness to offer up our longest show yet. Will Blanchard joins us to look back on three long, long years. We discuss Piranha Sharks, the douchiness of Screech from Saved by the Bell and we talk sports of all kinds. Plus, another failed homework assignment and a special reacharound involving Justin Bieber.

Holy Crap! It's a New Episode!

September 04, 2014 03:42 - 1 hour - 60.9 MB

After a very brief hiatus, the boys are back and badder than ever. In this episode, they reveal the true reason behind the podcast shutdown, they take the ALS ice bucket challenge and they talk about what the heck they've been doing and watching for the past three weeks. Plus, the return of Chihuahua Fantasy Football Leage and a special taste test.

Nerdy Chihuahua 4!

August 20, 2014 14:00 - 28 minutes - 19.7 MB

Two Nerdy Chihuahuas in one week? You must've been extra good. This time, Chad talks Tsuro, King of Tokyo and Tapple.

Nerdy Chihuahua 3!

August 17, 2014 22:17 - 32 minutes - 22.5 MB

Chad geeks out on more board games.

Phoning it in

August 05, 2014 19:53 - 1 hour - 42.5 MB

Apologies in advance for the sound quality on this episode. Contrary to what you might think, we didn't actually record this over the phone. We appear to have been having equipment issues. We'll try to get it fixed for the next episode. On this show, we discuss "Guardians of the Galaxy" and "Sharknado", share in the joys of homework, Scott hates on Ashton and we see the return of the Bieber.

The Mighty Chihuahuacles!

July 31, 2014 00:18 - 1 hour - 53.7 MB

In this episode, our intrepid trio discuss Hercules, talk douchebags, offer up a gentle reach around and engage in general stupidity. Plus, return of the Homework!

National Ebola Virus Awareness Day: Share it with Someone You Love

July 24, 2014 12:06 - 1 hour - 61.6 MB

In this episode, Chad experiences the new roundabout, we discuss Sex Tape, Top Secret! and have a special taste test. Plus, Justin Bieber returns and we offer a heartfelt reacharound. All this and a loving memory from Will.

A Very Phallic Episode

July 16, 2014 23:43 - 1 hour - 48.9 MB

In this episode, we dissect Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, learn about a whole new color, an unconventional STD treatment and talk the usual. Plus, Benji is too stupid to plug in part of the equipment, but realizes it before the show goes on too long.

Our Record is Almost as Good as the American Soccer Team!

July 08, 2014 18:32 - 1 hour - 48 MB

In this episode, we celebrate our freedom from World Cup soccer, discuss Roger Ebert and throwback cinema, and visit some particularly awful douchebags. Plus, we offer Ashton some love advice and the boys abuse Will one more time.

Transformers 4: The Chad's Shirt of Movies

July 02, 2014 03:04 - 1 hour - 54.9 MB

In this episode, we discuss how bad Transformers: Age of Extinction is. I mean, how really, really bad. How totally awful, how atrocious, how unbearably painful it is. Seriously, it is terrible. Plus, Benji mocks Chad's choice in clothing, we revisit a couple of douchebags and offer a hearty reacharound. All this and the greatest baby name ever!

What Clones?

June 26, 2014 00:00 - 56 minutes - 38.9 MB

In this episode, we neglect the clones, force out another lame intro, discuss 22 Jump Street and The Grand Budapest Hotel, and talk guns and God. Plus, douchebags and the return of Sorry Sarah.

Any Man Can be a Father, but it Takes a Power Mad Crazed Former Actor to Duplicate DNA Using a Cloning Gun

June 18, 2014 19:15 - 1 hour - 59.9 MB

In this episode, we compare How to Train Your Dragon 2 to Free Birds, discuss the Doucebaggery of Justin Bieber, offer a very special reach around to one bright actor and we re-live theater days. Plus, the return of the clones.

The Electric Turd: It's the Latest Dance Craze

June 10, 2014 18:49 - 1 hour - 51.3 MB

In this episode, the clones return and Benji cries, we discuss the lengths one would go to in order to retrieve an Iphone, the depths of a mother's love, and how Tom Cruise can still make a good movie even though he's nuts. Plus, reacharounds, Tales from the Theater and the return of the Bieber.

A Special Episode for All of Our Listeners

June 06, 2014 03:13 - 1 hour - 53 MB

In this episode, we discuss George Brett, A Million Ways to Die in the West, and the awfulness of the Chicago Cubs and Kansas City Royals. Plus, douchebags, Will whines and Ashton offers a special kind of love to LeVar Burton

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fungus

May 29, 2014 02:41 - 1 hour - 53.8 MB

We're back! After a week in which no one bothered to notice we were gone, we've returned with fresh tales of pop culture frivolity. We discuss Godzilla and the new X-Men, talk douchebags and give ourselves a hand. Plus, Chad has a new card game and we hate pointless graduations!

The Podcast With 100% Fewer Fatalities than the Regal Northstar 14!

May 15, 2014 00:47 - 1 hour - 48.8 MB

In this episode, we talk about how an untimely death sheds a light on the indifference of our local movie theater. Benji and Scott talk Neighbors, and Chad gives an unfortunate Reacharound. All this, plus Douchebags!

Send in the Clones (For the final time)

May 08, 2014 01:15 - 1 hour - 55.1 MB

Third, fourth or fifth time is the charm....

Keep Your Hootie in Your Ruckersack

May 08, 2014 00:59 - 1 hour - 41.6 MB

In this episode, we discuss plans for getting into shape, spoil Amazing Spider-Man 2, talk douchebags, and Chad recounts a Tales from the Theater in which he was the DB of the week. All this, plus the Attack of the Clones.

Send in the Clones

May 02, 2014 01:24 - 55.1 MB

In this episode, another of Chad’s hair brained schemes backfires, we discuss older movies, check in on the Oscar Pistorius trial, and visit our Tales from the Theater. Plus, douchebags galore!

A Dong Ripping Good Time!

April 24, 2014 02:06 - 1 hour - 56.1 MB

In this episode, we discuss Heaven is for Real, talk the worst ways to commit suicide, Scott receives a very uncomfortable phone call, and we talk douchebags. Plus, we undergo an idiotic exercise in masochism at the end of the show. Play along at home!

If Seven Days Without Chihuahua Makes One Weak, What Happens after Fourteen?

April 16, 2014 03:04 - 1 hour - 60.1 MB

After a quick week off, we return wtih more inanity and stupidity. This week we talk Captain America and Draft Day, recount what we did with our time off, and throw out a few douchebags. Plus, Benji's computer fritzes again, meaning you won't have to hear him ramble for too long about his week off.

Oh Yeah, It was Scott's Birthday, Too!

April 03, 2014 02:54 - 1 hour - 46.8 MB

In this episode, we discuss Noah, Scott recounts his adventure with kidney stones and law enforcement, and we completely neglect to mention that it was his birthday. Plus, Benji recounts his lifelong vendetta against his hand.

We Kidney Because We Love!

March 27, 2014 02:32 - 1 hour - 43.4 MB

In this episode, Scott wusses out because he's stoned (in the worst possible way), so Benji and Chad must carry the load. We discuss Comicon, Frozen, Muppets and share another installment of Tales of the Theater. Plus, the return of the Bieber.

Behold the Power of Dick Wood!

March 19, 2014 18:12 - 1 hour - 47.7 MB

In this episode, we learn about Benji’s secret double life, Chad and Scott geek out over their impending Comicon trip, we discuss Need for Speed and wax poetic about John McTiernan. Plus, Justin Bieber isn’t a douce! At least for one week.

The Walking Comatose: Daylight Savings Sucks

March 12, 2014 23:56 - 1 hour - 58.8 MB

In this episode, Scott reveals his ingenious way to benefit from Daylight Savings Time, we discuss Mr. Peabody and Sherman and find out what it would be like if Benji were on The Walking Dead. Plus, we lose a section where Chad and Benji talk basketball due to Benji's acient computer. All this, plus Justin Bieber's still a douchebag.

Tales of the Smoking Chihuahua

Episodes