If your life feels out of control, do this....

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Dear Meditator,

Before we start on today's message, thank you for all the beautiful responses I received yesterday. It was an immense joy to read all of your Homework, and I have tried to respond to as many of you as possible. I also loved your celebration ideas.

If you have missed yesterday's episode, you can watch it on Youtube here, and in the description below the video, you will find the transcript too.

If your life feels like it is "Out of control", do this...

We have all been there - maybe you are there right now. A feeling of overwhelm, a sense of anxiety, a feeling that life is out of control. It happens, but the good news is there is a way out. Even if you are in a situation that feels hopeless to you, there is ALWAYS a way out.

When we feel everything is out of control, it usually means that we focus on what we cannot control - and so, indeed, our perception that everything is out of control becomes quasi-factual. What we need to do in these situations is to break the pattern. Break the sensation of hopelessness to start building ourselves back up.

How do we do that? We try our best to focus only on what we can control. It can be something minimal at first. When you wake up, you can influence the decision of your next move. Let that move be something easy and controllable. For example, make your bed. Or sit and meditate for a few breaths, or even turn on one of our many guided meditations.

I have quoted the Serenity Prayer so many times. Still, I will repeat myself because I feel it is crucial:
​

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

That prayer has been attributed to different people accrosse times and cultures, but it is the core foundation of many philosophies, including, or especially Stoicism.

You've heard me talk about it before, but I have a set of protocols for the morning, the midday and the evening. Then, when I feel my life lacks control, I reinforce those protocols, meaning I dig deeper and ensure I follow them to the letter. Indeed, routine is a great way to regain control of our perceptions and start building hope and joy again.

Within my morning protocol, I have a set of reminders that I read and tick every day. One of them is a quote by Epictetus, who says:

"From the very beginning, make it your practice to say to every harsh impression, 'You are an impression and not at all what you appear to be.' Next, examine and test it by the rules you possess, the first and greatest of which is this—whether it belongs to the things in our control or not in our control, and if the latter, be prepared to respond, 'It is nothing to me.' "

And so here is your Homework for today. And since we had such lovely responses yesterday, I thought we could switch things up a little. If you want to be featured in our next podcast, send me your Homework in a small video or audio (30 seconds to 1 minute). That way, I can feature it on the podcast. Of course, if you answer me in written format, I will consider your answer, as always, completely confidential.

Here are the questions I would like you to answer:

What have you been focusing on that you would better let go of, because it is not in your control?
What are 3 easy tasks that you can do where you can have total control TODAY?
What have you been holding from your past that has been hurting you? Maybe you need to forgive someone, forgive yourself, or simply take a nice big deep breath and let go.

As always, I am looking forward to your answers

LOVE + SOUL HUGS

Raphael