16. Embracing Imperfection- Wholehearted Motherhood- Part 1

SHOWNOTES- Imperfect Parenting

Sign up for the Gratitude Challenge 

https://stethoscopestoswaddles.com/gratitude/

Get the book:

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown 

https://amzn.to/3rYlvTQ

Introduction to wholehearted living

According to Brené Brown, “Wholehearted living is about engaging with our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think, ‘No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.’ It’s going to bed at night thinking, ‘Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”

Wholehearted living is a process and a journey of a lifetime- what do we bring along? What does it take to live and love from a place of worthiness? Embrace imperfection? Cultivate what we need and get rid of the things holding us back?

Courage, compassion, connection- the tools we need→ the gifts of imperfection

Practices- the courage to reach out. “You learn courage by encouraging”- you learn motherhood by mothering

Shame- practice courage and reach out. We have the right to own our story and share it with someone who has earned the right to hear it, whom we can count on to respond with compassion

Comparative suffering and shame

Courage- cor- latin for heart

We can be compassionate and hold others accountable for their behaviors with boundaries

Love and belonging go hand in hand. Worthiness has no prerequisites. Self love and compassion is KEY

Shame, fear, and vulnerability

Who do you become when you’re backed into the shame corner?

How do you protect yourself?

Who do you call to work through it?

What's the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?

We don't need love and belonging from everyone in our lives, but we need if from at least one person

THE WHOLEHEARTED LIVING GUIDEPOSTS- PART ONE

Cultivating authenticity. Letting go of what people think

Authenticity is a choice and practice.

Authenticity is a daily practice in letting go of what people think we are supposed to be, and embracing who we are

Cultivating self compassion. Letting go of perfectionism

Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism

Feeling shamed, judged and blamed are realities of the human experience

Dr Kristin Neff. Components- self kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness

Cultivating a resilient spirit. Letting go of numbing and powerlessness

Definition of resilience

People who are resilient- seek help, have social support and connection

Disappointment, entitlement and performance pressure are a recipe for hopelessness and self doubt

Entitlement vs agency

Numbing - if you numb the negative, you numb the positive

Alcohol, drugs, food, sex, codependecny, money, taking care of others, overplanning, staying busy, overspending

Purpose, meaning and perspective move us forward

AEIOUY- Have I been abstinent today, have I exercised today, what have I done for myself today, what have i done for others today, am i holding on to Unexpressed emotions today, Yeah! What’s something good that's happened today

Cultivating gratitude and joy. Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark

Gratitude is a practice

Gratitude vs toxic positivity- Not denial of the comfort or discomfort in our lives

Cultivating intuition and trusting faith

Intuition tells us what we need to do 

Intuition is not a single way of knowing- it's our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we've developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith and reason

“Something told me”

See you next week!