32: Are You a Martyr?

As we approach the halfway point of 2020, and we reflect upon the goals we set at the start of the year, I want to talk to you all about an all too common stumbling block for women in having the energy and time to accomplish these goals, and that is martyrdom behavior. I know that this is a category that I fell into for a long time, and today we’ll explore if you are showing up in that way as well, and I’ll offer some tools to help you move through it so you can start enjoying the crap out of life!

We’ll begin by looking at just what the Martyr Complex is, where it shows up in our lives, and the costs associated with living out the martyr role. We’ll also review the part that guilt plays within this role, and I’ll share 5 steps you can take to help move you through martyrdom. As you’ve heard me say time and time again, we are not meant to have to struggle and suffer to have the life we want, but we are meant to enjoy life and having fun plays an important role within that. Today’s episode is your invitation to flip the switch, to shift your mindset, to change the behaviors, and to start to live your life in a very different way so that you feel happier, more fulfilled, and better prepared to move forward on your goals.

Want support in this? Join my private Facebook group, the Goal Getters Club for community, inspiration and support.  And, while enrollment for my Dare to Thrive Community is now closed, you can still sign up for the waitlist to join the next time it opens. Links for both appear below.

The Finer Details of This Episode:

-   The Martyr Complex, where it shows up, and the costs involved

-   The part that guilt plays in taking on the martyr role

-   5 steps to help you move beyond martyr behavior

Quotes:

“We wrap our identity up in this thing where we have to be the one who is suffering and doing everything so that everybody else can enjoy their life.”

“The suffering that some women feel boils down to contradictory and irreconcilable values.”

“There is a lot of guilt that women experience when they are focusing on their career or their business and feel like it’s interfering with their responsibilities at home.”

“On one hand, being a martyr is about experiencing the struggle and suffering and sacrificing yourself for the sake of others, and on the other hand, it’s about these false rewards you receive from behaving this way. And that’s what I want you to identify.”

“The more we do things we want to do, the less resentful we are towards those who are enjoying life.”

“No one else is responsible for giving you permission to set aside time for you – that’s on you…you are entitled to your own time…it is not a luxury, it is a necessity.”

Show Links:

Dare to Thrive Membership:   https://www.kellytravis.net/thrive  

Join The Goal Getters Club Facebook group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/goalgettersclubkellythealth

Email Kelly: [email protected]