WeTonglen a Community for Partners with Carol the Coach

Today Carol the Coach is reinterviewing WeTonglen who is a safe community for partners and ex-partners of , sex, and love addicts to share their stories of healing and hope, and find comfort and resources to aid on the journey of mending our broken hearts. They believe sex addiction is a deep-seated intimacy disorder created by early life attachment wounds in the addict. They support partners and ex-partners as they experience deeply distressing and traumatic reactions, also known as betrayal trauma. They do not believe the partner or ex-partner of a sex addict is to blame for causing or contributing to the addict’s acting-out behavior. Victim-blaming, collusion with the addict’s gaslighting, and blame-shifting to focus on the supposed contribution of the partner to the addict’s dysfunction can be retraumatizing to partners. 

WeTonglen is based on the perspective of Dr. Rob Weiss’s Prodependence, a model based in the field of attachment science, which does not pathologize partners as inherently damaged individuals, but instead affirms partners as relatively healthy people responding to an incredibly stressful situation.

WeTonglen is all about supporting each other as we confront our new realities, grapple with life changes we never expected, and safeguard ourselves with thoughtful boundary-setting and self-care.