Sex.Love.Power.: Sacred Sexuality, Conscious Polarity, and Waking Up In Love

Too Nice: The Doormat-Bulldog Cycle in Relationship

If you or your partner is nice, nice, nice, almost toooo nice… and then periodically explodes with out-of-the-blue anger, this episode is for you.   Or if the person doesn’t ever explode, but there’s a way their nice-nice-niceness doesn’t feel quite authentic, or seems forced… We’re going to talk about that, too. The dynamics we’re discussing today … I get it.  You’re not alone!  AND today’s episode will help, because I’m breakin’ it all down: How leadership was the first place I saw and ...

Expanding Erotic Intelligence

In this episode, we're having the conversation we need to have about the four keys to creating more of the heat and connection you want and the single practice I use to help couples expand all four things in their relationship, and in so doing, create the love and sex they really deserve. If you've had a hard time initiating sex, or taking your partner up on their invitations, when they ask in the way they ask, even though you sincerely would like to have more sex, at least in the abstract,...

Talking About Sex

If you want something different in the bedroom but don’t know how to bring it up...   If you have a hard time wrapping your mouth around any of the words for sex acts or body parts... If your partner has been uncomfortable with you talking about the sex you two have or don’t have... This episode is for you.   We NEED to have this conversation about conversations about sex - how meta is that? - because in our puritanical-yet-sex-saturated culture, we have been taught  that  it’s not “nice...

Poorly Timed Conversations

Conversations that go sideways are almost always ill-fated before they even begin.  And the majority of those we could pretty easily predict will go badly do so because of one common factor:  POOR TIMING.  One of you was not ready to have THAT conversation right THEN.  And nobody asked about this.  Or they did ask whether it was a good time, but they didn’t like the answer, so they went ahead anyway!  I’ve been guilty of that, myself.  And always lived to regret it! So today I’m out to elim...

Love Lessons from High-Performing Leaders Part 2

Couples with really GREAT - not just GOOD - marriages do things differently.  This episode - the second in a two-part series - shares the 12 keys my clients with Legacy Love marriages have taught me.  These are the keys to a love and a passion that gets deeper, hotter, and sweeter every year, and leaves behind a legacy that outlasts you both.  Get the full show notes and more information here:  http://www.lisenbury.com/episode/021 If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for yo...

Love Lessons from High Performing Leaders Part 1

In today's episode, I'm going to break down exactly why my most successful clients, career-wise, are also the most successful in love and sex. I'll tell you the whole story of how it came to be that I was the sought after relationship coach for executives and founders, starting when I still had a whole lot to learn about love and sex myself. I took kind of a strange path to becoming a relationship mentor for high-performing leaders:  People whose relationships were already great INSISTED th...

Couple Goals

If you’re like my clients, you’re ambitious in every area of your life, and your marriage is no exception.  That said, and as much as the hashtag “couple goals” is a running joke we often make when we think “wouldn’t it be great to be like THOSE TWO” - actually setting goals TOGETHER for how you’re going to make your relationship great is not a particularly common practice.   I’m on a mission to help as many couples as I can to learn that the closeness, the peace and ease, and the totally t...

Hit a Gift-Giving Home Run

When you want to really show your partner your love and feel appreciated in turn… You need to hit a homer with your gift or experience.  But how?  So many men, in particular, tell me their partners are hard to please or that gifts and holidays feel like no-win situations.   This is supposed to be a season of joy, and this episode will help you create that. In this episode: Why gift giving is so frustrating Discover the top 2 reasons gift giving is so stressful   Learn what gift giving mi...

Planning Together for the Holidays

During the holiday season, our most heartfelt visions  and  highest  hopes can be dashed against the reality of others’ engagement level and appreciation level… This episode is designed to help you plan together for  a beautiful holiday season that meets each partner’s needs.   This episode spills: The secret of stress free holiday planning How to collaborate with your partner to create the perfect unified celebration   The joyful way to celebrate the holidays  What NOT to put into your...

When Men Avoid S€x

If a man is a good guy, that actually INCREASES his chances of having problems in the bedroom.  Why?  Many caring, sensitive, emotionally open men are good friends, partners, and parents… and when it comes to s€x with their wives… They shrink, fizzle, or need things Just. So. or they can’t be there.  In today’s episode, I’ll  talk about why it’s such a confusing time to be  a good  man, how our culture messes with men’s heads around sex, and what we can do about it. This episode spills: Wh...

Food, Drink, Escape Hatches

Holidays.   Holy Daze!  This time of year,  more than others, many  people indulge and over-indulge.  The effect on our relationships of drinking, eating, spending, using pot, and other “escape hatches” can be intensely negative, but also hard to pinpoint.  In this episode, I’m getting specific about the damage my food addiction did in my life & marriage and giving you tools to address any compulsions or addictions you identify in yourself.  I’ll also share what to do (and what not to!) if y...

Reaching Across The Ignorance Divide

“How  can I talk  to  my (aunt/brother-in-law/husband/neighbor) whose views on social  justice/race/health care/women’s rights/LGBTQIA rights  are so very different from mine and  I want to shout?”  In honor of the impending holiday season, todays episode distills some what I’ve observed about how friends - mostly female or nonbinary - deal with ME in my ignorance about privilege around gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, education level, and class.  I never intended to be racist, he...

How to Figure It Out On Your Own

People often think they need to figure out their relationship challenges between the two of them.   They think they should, that the problems aren’t so bad they need help, and that they have what it takes to solve it.  If you think those things, you may be right!  This episode is here to help you get to the bottom of whatever has you stuck, or to understand why you can’t.  Either way, it’s definitely worth your time if there’s something you want to  have be better in your relationship. As y...

Together in Tough Times

This is an intense week - amid an intense year - for many people.  It highlights the importance of knowing how to nourish ourselves and one another when we’re both running on fumes, highly anxious, or otherwise struggling.  Financial strain, kids’ challenges, illness, or loss can precipitate pain and stress for couples under any circumstances.   Or right now, a pandemic and a razor-close presidential election make for intense emotions even if all is well in your personal world.   So today’s ...

Reveal Your Erotic Appetites

Amazing things happen when people tune in to Sex. Love. Power!  This episode grew from a great story one listener shared with me.  Our past episodes had her start opening  up with her partner about her desires, tastes, and needs.  This amazing woman listened and then just RAN WITH IT.    I was so inspired that now I’m explicitly guiding you to do the same.  Can’t  wait to hear what unfolds at your house! As you listen to this episode, you'll learn: Why it is challenging to communicate to y...

Ask Michele: Being the Visionary in Your Relationship and Getting Partnership in Family Labor

On this episode - our first Ask Michele - I answer two great questions from listeners.  One has been inviting her husband into deeper intimacy but is worried the relationship will get lopsided or he’ll begin to roll his eyes at her if she asks for more of what she envisions for them.  The other reader is frustrated that, although  her partner is doing a lot around the house while she works and he doesn’t, he does it on his timeframe, and it still feels like ultimately, the buck stops with H...

How does your partner know when you disapprove?

My latest podcast episode names something many of us do rather unconsciously: we threaten and dole out disapproval.  Disapproval and withholding our approval till someone has complied with our demands are behaviors so baked into our families and cultures that it's downright shocking to see their pervasiveness, when it’s pointed out.  It sounds violent to be so disapproving, and it seems to run counter to our values... And it is and it does!  Yet you may still be doing it a lot.   I know I h...

Are you not asking for more for fear you’ll hurt his feelings?

As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about: How tamping down your dreams and ambitions for your relationship could adversely affect your marriage The reasons it’s hard to ask a man for something different in love or sex The game changing 7 tips that will get you talking to your husband about what you want more of How to claim more joy, lightness and pleasure in your life What happens when we’re in bed with the patriarchy And more.  Join the conversation by listening, then share y...

008: Are you not asking for more for fear you’ll hurt his feelings?

As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about: How tamping down your dreams and ambitions for your relationship could adversely affect your marriage The reasons it’s hard to ask a man for something different in love or sex The game changing 7 tips that will get you talking to your husband about what you want more of How to claim more joy, lightness and pleasure in your life What happens when we’re in bed with the patriarchy And more.  Join the conversation by listening, then share y...

Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 2: Fight or Flight

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode.   It's the second part of an accessible and entertaining introduction to your nervous system and the crucial cranial nerve known as the Vagus Nerve.   If you ever: - react strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both - feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day - feel like you just need time *alone* but seldom seem to get enough to want to reconnect You'll learn how to notice what state you're in and di...

Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 2 - Fight or Flight

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode.   It's the second part of an accessible and entertaining introduction to your nervous system and the crucial cranial nerve known as the Vagus Nerve.   If you ever: - react strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both - feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day - feel like you just need time *alone* but seldom seem to get enough to want to reconnect You'll learn how to notice what state you're in and di...

007: Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 2 - Fight or Flight

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode.   It's the second part of an accessible and entertaining introduction to your nervous system and the crucial cranial nerve known as the Vagus Nerve.   If you ever: - react strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both - feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day - feel like you just need time *alone* but seldom seem to get enough to want to reconnect You'll learn how to notice what state you're in and di...

Self-Regulation Toolkit Part I: Regulating The Freeze Response

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode.    And particularly if you ever: - react strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both - feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day - freeze up and find yourself unable to speak, move forward, or interact This intro to what's REALLY going on, and what you can do about it, can be life-changing.  It's self-care, it's relationship elevating, it's good. If the conversations on this podcast are resonating f...

006: Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 1

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode.    And particularly if you ever: - react strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both - feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day - freeze up and find yourself unable to speak, move forward, or interact This intro to what's REALLY going on, and what you can do about it, can be life-changing.  It's self-care, it's relationship elevating, it's good.

Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 1

If you have a nervous system, you need this episode.    And particularly if you ever: - react strongly to your partner and want to fight or flee or both - feel exhausted, at an emotional or energetic level, by your day - freeze up and find yourself unable to speak, move forward, or interact This intro to what's REALLY going on, and what you can do about it, can be life-changing.  It's self-care, it's relationship elevating, it's good.

Are You Intense?

Have you been told "You're intense!" or "You're a LOT" or that your feelings, your senses, your volume, your speed of thought or speech were too fast?  Have you felt others recoil from you in a way that didn't match how you think of yourself?   You might be intense.  We need to talk about intensity, because it's not a character failing or a liability.  It's a superpower, but with great power comes great responsibility (um, that was Spiderman).  Listen in for all the deets on what intensity ...

005: Are You Intense?

Have you been told "You're intense!" or "You're a LOT" or that your feelings, your senses, your volume, your speed of thought or speech were too fast?  Have you felt others recoil from you in a way that didn't match how you think of yourself?   You might be intense.  We need to talk about intensity, because it's not a character failing or a liability.  It's a superpower, but with great power comes great responsibility (um, that was Spiderman).  Listen in for all the deets on what intensity ...

Safe surrender. Asking him to lead. Erotic transcendence.

So many women tell me, "I wish he would just take charge in the bedroom."  As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about: - How sexual trauma can contribute to a "I don't know what I want - don't ask me!" freeze response - The transcendent potential of erotic surrender - the magic that can happen for both partners when one takes charge in bed - How to ask your partner (of any gender) for this kind of leadership - How busy brains can stop us from getting present for sex, and how surrender...

004: Safe surrender. Asking him to lead. Erotic transcendence.

So many women tell me, "I wish he would just take charge in the bedroom."  As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about: - how sexual trauma can contribute to a "I don't know what I want - don't ask me!" freeze response - the transcendent potential of erotic surrender - the magic that can happen for both partners when one takes charge in bed - how to ask your partner (of any gender) for this kind of leadership - how busy brains can stop us from getting present for sex, and how surrender...

003: The Elements of Power in Relationship

The Elements of Power in Relationship

If you're like many ambitious women, you have big visions and deep desires for every area of your life. But if your RELATIONSHIP vision seems elusive, if you find yourself feeling frustrated, disappointed, and wondering “Is it me? Is it you? Or are we just not great together?” you’re not alone.  But here’s the good news: You are not the problem, your partner is not the problem, and you CAN have the relationship you envision! Creating the love and sex you want simply requires a new mindset a...

003: The elements of power in relationship

002: Trailer II: Women's Frustrations in Relationship

Trailer II: Women's Frustrations in Relationship

f you're like many ambitious women, you have big visions and deep desires for every area of your life. But if your RELATIONSHIP vision seems elusive, if you find yourself feeling frustrated, disappointed, and wondering “Is it me? Is it you? Or are we just not great together?” you’re not alone.  But here’s the good news: You are not the problem, your partner is not the problem, and you CAN have the relationship you envision! Creating the love and sex you want simply requires a new mindset an...

001: Trailer

Trailer

If you're like many ambitious women, you have big visions and deep desires for every area of your life. But if your RELATIONSHIP vision seems elusive, if you find yourself feeling frustrated, disappointed, and wondering “Is it me? Is it you? Or are we just not great together?” you’re not alone.  But here’s the good news: You are not the problem, your partner is not the problem, and you CAN have the relationship you envision! Creating the love and sex you want simply requires a new mindset a...