Raising Strong Girls At Home. A Biting Incident

Key Points:

Daughter experienced a biting incident on the busThe precedent the year beforeRaising strong girlsTrigger bad childhood memory of bullying for myselfHandling the situation with a clear mindInvolving the schoolBehavioural education starts from homeLesson learnedCommunicating with minors

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Ep 3. Raising Strong Girls At Home. A Biting Incident with Carol Gockel

Burned, crashed, reduced to dust then rise on the ashes. In this episode, we have a very special guest whose dream is to inspire and empower people around the World. 

She is a confidence coach, speaker, author of the book Breakthrough with the legendary Les Brown, I’m a mum of two, a loving daughter and a devoted wife. A model woman can juggle life, work and have it all, you too can have it all.

Being a parent
Being a parent is a role that can bring you great joy and happiness, their own unique person can add meaning and purpose to your life. Here’s what Carol said: 

(1:01 - 1:36) Well, life as a parent has been quite a bit of a journey. To be very frank, in the beginning, I have never thought that I would be a parent. I was never, ever good with kids, to begin with, to be frank when my friends have kids, the baby look at me and they cry, so I thought I was destined never to be a mom, and of course from my past relationship and my past marriage, my ex-husband told me that I will not be a good mother because I behave a bit more like a kid myself so I will not be able to be responsible for other young beings.

(1:41- 2:02) Being a parent, it doesn't come with an instructional manual, I’m still learning and I’m still gaining experience and wisdom as I go along so if you have any parenting wisdom for pre-teens, come to me and share with me and I really,really, really would love to hear about it.

The biting incident

(2:03 - 2:36) What I want to do for this episode is about this incident that my daughter has on the school bus home, it's actually a biting incident on the bus, yeah, a biting incident and for a girl, being bitten, it’s quite a traumatic experience and the perpetrator is actually a boy. A boy that is actually on grade 4.
 
 (2:41- 2:57) So this biting incident came as a surprise and it was something that I, it left a very very heavy imprint in my memory and I thought that I would like to share this with all parents.

(3:00 - 3:36) So if you are a  mom like myself, I think I might be able to relate to this incident, well the thing is, there’s actually a president before right, when my daughter first started primary 1, grade 1, just put on the school bus, being new, being clean, most of the time, the older ones were the one to try, try bullying them and I’ve always taught my daughter to be outspoken, if something that she didn’t like it she should share and say it and so that was what happened.

Protect them at all cost

Getting bullied is hard to deal with, it can cause lifelong psychological damage and that’s what Carol is trying to prevent, Carol shared:

(9:36 - 9:46) I never wanted my daughter to go through the same thing as I went through myself and so I always say if someone will do something to you, you fight back.

(10:38 - 11:19) So we decided to involve the school because it seems to us that the mother wasn’t really involved in the discipline with the child and before we leave the apartment actually I told my daughter I said, ‘look, you know, if you were the one who threw the first punch and you did this to somebody else, I will rip your head off, and that boy was actually quite scared. I thought you know maybe involving the school will be a better idea, because for me, I felt that 

(11:20 - 11:22) Behavioural education really starts from home.

(12:22 - 12:34) For me, the lesson learned about this entire situation, incident, was that I need to be a lot calmer despite the whole situation.

The Power of Communication

The ability of children to manage stress, feel confident and motivate themselves in later life has a lot to do with their early childhood experiences.
 
(13:27 - 13:34) The lesson learned from this is there is always a good way of communicating with minors.
 
(13:40 - 13:37) I don’t think violence can solve any problems at all but I felt that communicating with minors is very important for them to understand right and wrong and for them to understand that their emotions can get in the way of their behavior.

(13:48 - 14:37) Because if you don’t manage the emotions when the children are young all these pent up frustration, anger is gonna come out somehow in their life and it will be bad and when their an adult and this would be a devastating situation in the future. So my communication with my daughter is being a girl, unfortunately in this society is to view her as a weaker sex, she should very much try and learn how to protect herself, protect her honor and you she should still continue being her, be outspoken and if that gets her into trouble, so be it.

(15:07 - 15:32) Communicating is, its very very important as a parent especially communicating with minor I hope that by sharing this episode in my life, you know, what helped you to think about how you gonna build confidence in your children and by communicating with them and so that they can be a good communicator, to communicate their emotions, their needs.

Key Takeaways:

1.         Don’t let other people tell you what you can’t do.

2.       Always be there for your kids.

3.       Be calm, think before you make a decision that you will regret.

4.       Have a good way of communicating with minors.

5.       Be a good role model for your children.

Key Resources:

Visit Carol’s site:https://www.carolgockel.com/

Connect Carol’s LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolgockel/
Follow Carol on Instagram: @carolgockel

Check Carol on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/carolgockel

Check out Carol’s Podcast site: https://shor.by/carolgockel