ReThinking Caregiving
137 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 6 ratingsYour spouse is getting cancer treatments, you feel like you are on a rollercoaster of emotions. When you (caregiver) take care of your own self & mind, you will be in a better position to help your loved one. If you have any feedback or questions.
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Episodes
Thank You
January 08, 2023 23:00 - 4 minutes - 3.33 MBIt's been almost two years since I started this podcast. I would like to thank you for taking us with you in your car, while you do the dishes, on your walks. I feel humbled that my knowledge helps you out there, even though we have never met. I am taking an indefinite break from doing this podcast. Thank you once again. Support the show Follow Us on Instagram & Facebook
Doing It Again In The New Year, Even Though It Is Tough!
January 01, 2023 23:00 - 18 minutes - 13 MBAs the new year starts, you are probably going through the caregiver experience once again. You know it is tough, but you can do it. You were built for this. Support the show Follow Us on Instagram & Facebook
What Is That One Good Thing......?
December 25, 2022 23:00 - 16 minutes - 11.4 MBBeing diagnosed with life threatening cancer can be one of the most challenging situations one can go through. As a caregiver, you don’t have it easy either, walking beside your spouse as they go through this life altering experience, observing how your own mind brings up all the unprocessed stuff that you probably were not aware of until this time, can be nerve wrecking. It is so easy to be grateful when things are going the way we want them to.. but studies show that gratitude helps us be...
Wondering What NOT To Say?
December 18, 2022 23:00 - 29 minutes - 20.1 MBI have done this, and you probably heard other people who have done the same. When we meet people who are going through a difficult time, we are quick to say comforting words to them, in an attempt to make them feel better. But what is the real reason behind this? Why do we want other people to feel better? What is wrong with experiencing the other side of life? In this week's episode, I talk about why we are so preoccupied with making other people feel better. Take a listen. Resources...
Why It Is Okay To Sometimes Not Feel Positive!
December 11, 2022 23:00 - 26 minutes - 18.3 MBYou have probably been encouraged to be positive as your loved one is going through cancer treatments. Nothing wrong with that all... However, I spoke to a caregiver who said that all this feeling positive all the time, was making her feel like she about to explode. In today's episode, I talk about how to be positive, as well as the importance of creating space and learning from negative emotion. Resources: Download our FREE guide on how to care for your well being, so you care for your ...
What You Can Do When You Feel Ashamed
December 04, 2022 23:00 - 32 minutes - 22.3 MB‘Many’ caregivers say that they experience a lot of shame from different situations. Or maybe you said something or you behaved in a way that you didn't like. Or maybe you think you should have done something differently. Feeling like you are not enough, because you have a certain image of how you want things to be. Shame can be such a debilitating emotion when we let it run our lives. In this episode, I walk you through how you can identify the causes of shame, how to process shame, and wh...
Navigating The Holiday Season Even When You Realize It Maybe Your Loved One's Last.
November 27, 2022 23:00 - 27 minutes - 19.3 MBThe Holiday Season is here, for some caregivers, they constantly wonder whether it maybe the last one with their loved ones. In this episode, I talk about how to approach the holiday season even when this maybe your loved one's. It is not the holiday season that is causing you to dread the holiday season, it is what you think about the holiday season. Resources: Download our FREE GUIDE on how to take care of your well being. Support the show Follow Us on Instagram & Facebook
The Mindful Way Of Taking Responsblity Of Our Thoughts & Emotions
November 20, 2022 23:00 - 24 minutes - 17 MBAs human beings, we do what we do so we can feel good. But many of us were brought up to believe that it is the other peoples responsibility to make us feel good or worse etc.. The problem with that way of thinking is that we can’t control the actions of other people. Manipulation, threats and ultimatums work for shorter periods of time. In this episode, I talk about why it is important to take responsbility of our own thoughts and actions because only you, knows what you want or how you...
How Our Thoughts Creates Our Reality!
November 15, 2022 09:00 - 20 minutes - 13.9 MBYou know that you want to create a deeper connection with your loved one. But you are not sure why instead, the distance between you is growing. Many times we live unconsciously, creating results in our lives that at the end of the day we don't want. Our brain is the command centre, of everything in our lives. When don't know how to direct the brain to where we want to go, we will always ask our selves why we get the results we get in our lives. In this episode, talk more about how our ...
My Best Tip On How To Deal With A Crisis
November 06, 2022 23:00 - 21 minutes - 14.9 MBSometimes when we are caring for our loved one, it is easier to forget the patient’s interests. We don’t even consult them about what they need, we think we know what is best for them. We don’t want to face the reality that is our loved ones are dying, the treatments aren’t working etc.. because we don’t want to feel the emotions associated with that. When we embrace a crisis, we see the options available to us; many people describe this stage as peaceful, because there is no fighting rea...
When You Feel Triggered......
October 30, 2022 23:00 - 13 minutes - 9.55 MBWhat other people say to us are outside of our control. But our thoughts about what they said create emotions in us, then those emotions drive the actions we take. What your loved one said doesn't affect you , until you have a thought(s) about it. In this week's episode, I talk about how what happens outside of us, is neutral until we have thoughts about it. Take a listen. Resources: Download our FREE guide on how to care for yourself first, so that you are in a bettter position to hel...
Are You Also Emotionally Eating To Cope?
October 23, 2022 22:00 - 25 minutes - 17.6 MBOur thoughts cause our feelings, then our feelings fuel our actions - In this case the action is - eating. There is an emotion that precedes the action of eating; there is a thought or story that precedes that emotion. What would you be doing if you were not eating? You could feel all the feelings that come up. Feelings are just that - feelings. Though they may be uncomfortable, they don't kill us. When we allow them to be there, instead of resisting, they will go away and then come back...
Navigating The Waters Of Parenting When The Other Parent Is Getting Cancer Treatments
October 16, 2022 22:00 - 33 minutes - 23.1 MBWe have been conditioned to think that we can solve for our children’s emotional wellbeing. The truth of the matter is that we cannot. Dr. Wayne Dyer said that our children come through us - because that is how procreation works. But they are not for us. Contrary to what we have been told, we don’t own our children. Just like us, our children have good and bad days. Because life is 50% good and 50% bad. Because we have both positive and negative emotions. Our children are not problems ...
Why You Do Certain Things In The First Place
October 09, 2022 22:00 - 32 minutes - 22.1 MBOne part of our brain’s job is to look out for harm and unfamiliar situations. This helped our ancestors live well during those times they lived in caves. This part of the brain protected our ancestors from wild animals, eating poisonous plants and berries etc Fortunately, today we don’t have the same worries as our ancestors did. We have houses, electricity, we have better hospital facilities, treatments, our chances of being eaten by wild animals are minimal compared to many centuries ago...
Why You Do Certain Things In The First Place
October 09, 2022 22:00 - 32 minutes - 22.1 MBOne part of our brain’s job is to look out for harm and unfamiliar situations. This helped our ancestors live well during those times they lived in caves. This part of the brain protected our ancestors from wild animals, eating poisonous plants and berries etc Fortunately, today we don’t have the same worries as our ancestors did. We have houses, electricity, we have better hospital facilities, treatments, our chances of being eaten by wild animals are minimal compared to many centuries ago...
When Fear Takes Over
October 02, 2022 22:00 - 41 minutes - 28.4 MBAs a caregiver, there are a lot of things that are unknown. A lot of things your brain will interpret as scary - sending you down the rabbit hole of fear. The more you try to resist the emotion of fear, by eating, drinking or whatever we human beings do to try to ignore feeling fear, the more your brain will fixate on it. Fear has its benefits. When you are about to be hit by a car then you jump to the curb. When your child is about to fall and catch them. Resources: Download our FREE...
When Fear Takes Over
October 02, 2022 22:00 - 41 minutes - 28.4 MBAs a caregiver, there are a lot of things that are unknown. A lot of things your brain will interpret as scary - sending you down the rabbit hole of fear. The more you try to resist the emotion of fear, by eating, drinking or whatever we human beings do to try to ignore feeling fear, the more your brain will fixate on it. Fear has its benefits. When you are about to be hit by a car then you jump to the curb. When your child is about to fall and catch them. Resources: Download our FREE...
The Biggest Challenge Faced By Cancer Caregivers.
September 25, 2022 22:00 - 40 minutes - 27.8 MBNot taking care of your own wellbeing. I.e being aware of what you are thinking - not all of it of course. How to become aware of what you are thinking. I.e journaling Questioning your thoughts, helps you realize what beliefs and expectations you have for yourself and your spouse. Answering your own questions - to avoid overwhelm and confusion Embracing negative emotion - helps you become brave + teaches you compassion- when we let ourselves experience painful emotions, it deepens our c...
Setting Boundaries Without Fighting Anyone
September 18, 2022 22:00 - 22 minutes - 15.3 MBDuring the caregiving experience, there can be a lot of people coming and going in your life. Many of those people mean well, but we can have certain thoughts about well meaning people, thoughts that may cause overwhelm. In this episode, I talk about the boundaries; how do we set healthy boundaries without manipulating the other person? Resources: Download our FREE GUIDE on how to care for your own well being first, so you help care for your spouse. Support the show Follow Us on Instag...
Wishing For Freedom?
September 11, 2022 22:00 - 30 minutes - 21.1 MBWhat ever thought you choose to believe, the brain will find evidence to prove it to you. When you think that you wish you had more freedom, your brain will find all that evidence to prove what you are thinking- leading to a belief. When your brain offers you a question of how can I create freedom in my life, answer that question. Don’t let the question swirl around in your brain. Unanswered questions cause confusion and overwhelm. Resources: Download our FREE GUIDE on how to care f...
Wishing For Freedom?
September 11, 2022 22:00 - 30 minutes - 21.1 MBWhat ever thought you choose to believe, the brain will find evidence to prove it to you. When you think that you wish you had more freedom, your brain will find all that evidence to prove what you are thinking- leading to a belief. When your brain offers you a question of how can I create freedom in my life, answer that question. Don’t let the question swirl around in your brain. Unanswered questions cause confusion and overwhelm. Resources: Download our FREE GUIDE on how to care f...
The Best Way To Support Your Spouse During Their Cancer Treatments.
September 04, 2022 22:00 - 37 minutes - 26.1 MBYour husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. A lot is changing at a fast pace, your family dynamic is changing. Accepting his diagnosis seems so hard right now. It is so distressing for me as his spouse to see him so scared. People are wondering how I am coping, but to be honest, I am falling apart on the inside. You love your spouse, and want him to be well. He is not doing well. What would you want to feel in order to support them? What thought would you want to lead to that feeling...
This SHOULDN'T be happening!!!
August 28, 2022 22:00 - 26 minutes - 17.9 MBWe can’t make life unfold the way we want it. We get frustrated because of the thoughts we have about how life has unfolded. Should or should not are perception words. They indicate that something, a situation is supposed to be different than what it actually is…. You try to get your spouse to feel good, and not be down etc…. But you can’t prevent him from feeling negative emotion. It is a part of their life’s journey. HOlding space of for the people in our lives when they are experienc...
Do You Ever Get So Overwhelmed That You Want To Hide?
August 21, 2022 22:00 - 18 minutes - 13 MBOverwhelm is a cue that you are holding on to unquestioned thought(s). Overwhelm is caused by our negative thoughts about a given circumstance(s). This leads you to question what you are doing as a caregiver, which inturn leads you to stop what you are doing. In today's episode, I talk about how our thoughts cause overwhelm, and what we can do to relieve it. Download our FREE GUIDE on how to take care of your own well being first, so you can help care for your spouse. Support the sh...
How NOT To Let One Low Moment Erase All The Good Work You Are Doing!
August 14, 2022 22:00 - 29 minutes - 20.2 MBAs a caregiver, sometimes you find Caregiving challenging, and you don’t want to do it, other times you may not want to do it. But you also think that well… someone has got to do it, it is my responsibility to do, this is what loyal spouses do. Nobody else is going to do it anyway. Then you feel guilty or resentful. Take a moment to part yourself on your back, you are just a human being with a human brain. You are doing a tremendous job; however, allow for your humanness maybe you are...
Are Drowning In Fear?
August 07, 2022 22:00 - 21 minutes - 15 MBPart of our brain’s job is to protect us from harm. It is always watching out for danger. When something is deemed dangerous - Cancer is associated with pain, nausea, cancer treatments can take a toll on the body etc … and sometimes death. A fight or flight response is triggered. You feel fear, become angry, in an attempt to drive the thing away. Fear is a strong emotion that is most often triggered in the present moment in a response to a known, definite and immediate threat. When y...
Are You Drowning In Fear?
August 07, 2022 22:00 - 21 minutes - 15 MBPart of our brain’s job is to protect us from harm. It is always watching out for danger. When something is deemed dangerous - Cancer is associated with pain, nausea, cancer treatments can take a toll on the body etc … and sometimes death. A fight or flight response is triggered. You feel fear, become angry, in an attempt to drive the thing away. Fear is a strong emotion that is most often triggered in the present moment in a response to a known, definite and immediate threat. When y...
Are You Drowning In Fear?
August 07, 2022 22:00 - 21 minutes - 15 MBPart of our brain’s job is to protect us from harm. It is always watching out for danger. When something is deemed dangerous - Cancer is associated with pain, nausea, cancer treatments can take a toll on the body etc … and sometimes death. A fight or flight response is triggered. You feel fear, become angry, in an attempt to drive the thing away. Fear is a strong emotion that is most often triggered in the present moment in a response to a known, definite and immediate threat. When y...
Who Better To Help Your Loved One Than You?
July 31, 2022 22:00 - 17 minutes - 12.3 MBWhen our lives are turned upside down, we want to identify as victims or the person responsible for whatever happened. We move towards guilt and shame. And we can still identify ourselves in those roles, we just have to do it with awareness. But this is the hand of cards we just got dealt, Does blaming yourself make the diagnosis go away? We have ideas of how should be… Support the show Follow Us on Instagram & Facebook
Feeling Conflicted ?
July 24, 2022 22:00 - 15 minutes - 10.4 MBYour loved one abandoned medical treatments for alternative healing options. You are frantic, you think that he is being reckless, you pressure them to recommit to medical treatments. How would you be showing up if you let go of the idea that your spouse should commit to the treatments that you think are right for him? In this episode, I talk about how to navigate a situation like the above. Resource Download our FREE resource on how to take care of yourself, so you are in a better pos...
Feeling Overwhelmed? This Is How You Can Clear Your Mind
July 17, 2022 22:00 - 28 minutes - 19.5 MBMany caregivers experience overwhelm as a result of the responsibility of caregiving. In this week's episode, I talk about a simple way to manage overwhelm, by learning to discern between fact, opinion and stories that we add to circumstances. Tune in and listen. Resources: Download our FREE GUIDE on how to get care for your well-being so you can help care for your spouse. Support the show Follow Us on Instagram & Facebook
Feeling Overwhelmed? This Is How You Can Clear Your Mind
July 17, 2022 22:00 - 28 minutes - 19.5 MBMany caregivers experience overwhelm as a result of the responsibility of caregiving. In this week's episode, I talk about a simple way to manage overwhelm, by learning to discern between fact, opinion and stories that we add to circumstances. Tune in and listen. Resources: Download our FREE GUIDE on how to get care for your well-being so you can help care for your spouse. Support the show Follow Us on Instagram & Facebook
For You Who Is About To Start Cancer Treatments.
July 03, 2022 22:00 - 24 minutes - 16.9 MBWhen you are lying in bed, your body is healing, destroying cancer cells. Even though it doesn’t look like you are working. What is more important than fighting cancer in your body? Your body is the no.1 priority. Accepting - This going to be emotionally terrible. It is not true that we should be happy all the time. Half of the time it will be terrible. I am going to get through this, even though, in spite of, even if….. We want to be happy, but when things don’t go like that, we feel di...
How Your Emotions Fuel Your Actions!
June 26, 2022 22:00 - 22 minutes - 15.4 MBThe doctor said that given the stage of the cancer, chances are slim that the treatment will help her. When you feel devastated because you have a thought that you don’t want your loved one to be miserable for the time they have left, what are you not doing? You are not being present with your loved one, - which is actually what you want. Looking for information, overthinking, wondering how to make it easier for him, trying to come up with ways to make him happy, all these things take y...
How To Give Some Grace To Your Loved One's Emotions.
June 19, 2022 22:00 - 21 minutes - 14.6 MBYour spouse’s lashing out has nothing to do with you personally. Let us take a peek in to their brain. The doctor said that the treatments aren’t working. Your spouse is scared and fearful of dying, living you and the children. Maybe you had goals as a family, he is now realizing that he will miss out on achieving those goals. That is why they are angry. The thoughts that you have about his anger are causing you pain. Not his behavior. You are making this behavior mean something about you...
Do You Have Challenging Dealing With Worry?
June 12, 2022 22:00 - 33 minutes - 23.3 MBWorry itself is harmless; but when we resist and fight worry, we get stuck. Think about this for a moment; how do you show up when you are worried? Does the way you show up serve you in your role as a caregiver and interaction with your spouse? Where does worry come from? It comes from our thoughts, that we believe and attach ourselves to. How can you politely acknowledge worry without attaching to the story (thoughts)? When you feel worried, can you look at it with curiosity? Can yo...
Do You Also Skip Over This?
June 05, 2022 22:00 - 23 minutes - 16.1 MBMany of us are experts in self-criticism, beating ourselves down. Guilt is our default emotion when we experience humanity, aka …making mistakes. Self compassion is about extending feelings of kindness & understanding to ourselves when we face failure, hardships and uncertainty. Has an element of wanting the best for yourself. We can be compassionate with ourselves even when we recognize that we have some not good serving thoughts." I.e I am aware that I am thinking that I should have fi...
Feeling Rage? This Is What Maybe Causing It!
May 29, 2022 22:00 - 40 minutes - 28 MBRage is a secondary emotion, arising from say feeling hurt, betrayed, used etc… There is a thought or thoughts or belief that you have that are causing you to feel hurt, or betrayed. In this episode, I talk about the possible causes of rage and how to process and embrace it, so you don't become paralyzed by it. Rage just doesn’t happen, it comes from thoughts, sometimes the thought or thoughts maybe a little hard to spot, flying under the radar but believe me they are. What is the ...
How Can You Embrace NOT Feeling Good?
May 22, 2022 22:00 - 42 minutes - 29.2 MBWe try to escape being human i.e. going through negative emotions that is how people get addicted using drugs, food, alcohol. We can just learn how to feel our negative emotions, and become emotionally strong. Not only that, but we sometimes feel terrible, unhappy etc. In today's episode, I talk about how the emotions of grief, loss, sadness will appear again and again, because emotions are a part of our being, we acknowledge them again and again, with compassion, supporting ourselves thr...
How Can You Take Your Emotional Power Back?
May 15, 2022 22:00 - 41 minutes - 28.8 MBCan you get curious to see what may be going on for your loved one? Are they scared? They are human as well, trying their best way they know how to navigate this beautiful path called life. You may not agree with the way they do things, but are you willing to be wrong about that? Can you bring yourself to look things from their point of view? Doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but can you hold space and grace for them? Can you find some compassion in your heart for him/her? Downl...
How Can You Take Your Emotional Power Back?
May 15, 2022 22:00 - 41 minutes - 28.8 MBCan you get curious to see what may be going on for your loved one? Are they scared? They are human as well, trying their best way they know how to navigate this beautiful path called life. You may not agree with the way they do things, but are you willing to be wrong about that? Can you bring yourself to look things from their point of view? Doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but can you hold space and grace for them? Can you find some compassion in your heart for him/her? Downl...
Beliefs - How Do They Cause Us Pain?
May 08, 2022 22:00 - 40 minutes - 28.1 MBSomeone reached out to me and asked me what I mean when I say that we can use our emotions and thoughts (beliefs) as information to learn more about our selves. Life is unfair is one of the most used beliefs among people going through cancer treatments. I choose to think that life is neutral, it follows no one's schedule etc.. But as human beings, we have expectations, plans etc.. When life happens - as it has always done, and our expectations aren't fulfilled, then we get annoyed about l...
I could have done more....
May 04, 2022 22:00 - 25 minutes - 17.4 MBFirst, you are just human, we are just going to observe frustration and anger, and see what comes up for you. What comes up for you can be an insight into what beliefs you have, and what are you making things mean? I could have done more to slow down the process, but how would you have done that? Is there an upside to that thought? We have no influence over the trajectory of the disease. We only think that we do, but we have no control over what may or may not happen. We are all walk...
Dealing With Anger As A Caregiver - Esther M
April 27, 2022 22:00 - 22 minutes - 15.8 MBThe caregiving experience is one that can a roller coaster of emotions, from anger, sadness, fear, joy, laughter, calmness, to frustrated etc.. Despite what we are conditioned to believe, emotions are a huge part of our being; we can't get rid of them. But we can use them as information to understand what is going on within us, what belief systems do we have etc.. In this episode, we take a look at how we can use anger to find out more about what is going on for us, how we can find peace...
My Experience As A Caregiver The Second Time Around - Esther Mbabazi
April 24, 2022 22:00 - 25 minutes - 17.9 MBI had the opportunity of helping my mom back on her feet after going through major surgery. My experience this time was far better than the first time, because I have the skill set of watching in fascination and compassion as my brain was freaking out and offering me all sorts of scenarios. I hope you learn something from my experience. Download our FREE guide on how to get started as a spousal caregiver. Support the show Follow Us on Instagram & Facebook
Things You Can Do To Improve Your Own Well- Being.
February 26, 2022 23:00 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBWhen we don't improve our own well-being, we end up getting in other people's business, creating emotional pain for ourselves. This results into distance between the people that we care for. In today's episode, I talk about simple ways to care for our own well being, so we can create the connections we want with our people. Resources: Download our FREE GUIDE on how to care for your self, so you can be a caregiver to your spouse. Support the show Follow Us on Instagram & Facebook
How Do You Support Yourself As You Help Care For Your Loved One?
February 23, 2022 23:00 - 22 minutes - 15.8 MBBe compassionate with yourself, even when you have a moment. Embrace and drop in your body, where do you feel tense? Does it feel like a knot in your stomach, or is your head spinning? Emotions are the language of the body, while thoughts are the vocabulary of the brain. Embrace whatever emotion that you feel is moving around your body. Support yourself, nothing has gone wrong, I am scared, I am angry, because my loved one is going through cancer treatments. I am a human being, I am goi...
Bringing Dignity To The End Of Life - Kathleen Putnam
February 20, 2022 23:00 - 43 minutes - 30.2 MBFamilies and patients need various types of support, and education, as they ponder what happens at different stages of end of life. What options they have; what about physical and emotional needs, have someone actively listening to them etc… In today’s episode, Grief Coach, Death Doula and Dietitian Kathleen Putnam talks to us about how to bring dignity in a way that aligns with the dying person’s values and wishes. Everything from how to help with making difficult decisions when someone ...
Can We Be Present With Our Loved Ones During Challenging Times Without Trying To Control The Situation?
February 16, 2022 23:00 - 31 minutes - 22 MBThe cancer diagnosis isn’t going away? How can we be present with our loved ones despite the presence of the diagnosis? How can we bring awareness? Many times, fear can grip in, and prevent us from making meaningful connections during difficult times. Being there for them, let them voice out their fears without interfering, lecturing and trying to rectify things. Letting things unfold without trying to change the reality. To be honest, we can’t change the reality, we only think we can...
Can We Be Present With Our Loved Ones During Challenging Times Without Trying To Control The Situation?
February 16, 2022 23:00 - 31 minutes - 22 MBThe cancer diagnosis isn’t going away? How can we be present with our loved ones despite the presence of the diagnosis? How can we bring awareness? Many times, fear can grip in, and prevent us from making meaningful connections during difficult times. Being there for them, let them voice out their fears without interfering, lecturing and trying to rectify things. Letting things unfold without trying to change the reality. To be honest, we can’t change the reality, we only think we can...