Becoming Whole
308 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 months ago - ★★★★★ - 54 ratingsRelationships and sexuality are areas of life that can be beautiful or confusing, life-giving, or painful. Becoming Whole is a conversational podcast for men, women, and families seeking to draw nearer to Jesus as they navigate topics like sexual integrity, relational healing, spiritual health, and so much more.
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Episodes
Sometimes You Gotta Fight
April 25, 2023 09:00 - 11 minutes - 7.82 MBI want to talk today about a little bit of a dichotomy that a lot of people experience in their journey towards sexual integrity. If you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, or been involved in our coaching, groups, or events, I hope that you've picked up on the reality that we seek to bring the love and grace of God into all things. We believe that real life change happens through the kindness of God. It is the kindness of God that leads to repentance. Where sin increases,...
Behold the Man
April 18, 2023 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.51 MBIf you are tuning into this podcast you are either wrestling with or striving for sexual integrity or love someone who is struggling with sexual integrity, or you just care about this topic. I believe as we take a look at a small part in Jesus' life we find a very big revelation. God had a design for human beings. They were designed to reflect the image of the invisible God. That image of God is a self giving, self donating loving God who rules over His creation in a loving way. And their m...
Searching for God in the Good of Sex
April 11, 2023 09:00 - 12 minutes - 8.53 MBWhen we are pursuing sexual integrity, we all experience this mental combat between sexual sin and our desire for sexual integrity. It’s not just an experience we have in our thought life alone. We feel it in our bodies when they become aroused by things we see, the thoughts we have, and by the longings we have. One of the ways we try to combat and move away from our sexual orientations is by thinking about good things. And so we take our sexually sinful thoughts, we try to train them o...
3 Quick and Easy Mental Shifts to Help You Grow
April 04, 2023 09:00 - 10 minutes - 7.18 MBIn today's podcast, I have three simple mental shifts for you. These three simple changes you can make will help you in your journey toward sexual integrity. It is my aim that these small mental adjustments will help you see how you should approach your journey for sexual integrity in a fresh light. Mental Shifts 1. From this as an opportunity to sin to this as an opportunity to grow. 2. Every time you hear the word I or me in your thoughts, shift to asking the question, “Is it really me t...
Stop Trying to Stop Lusting
March 28, 2023 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.34 MBHave you ever wanted to stop something so badly, yet couldn’t figure out how to stop. Or even why? Have you tried to stop lusting? In this weeks podcast, just speaks to the importance of learning to love in recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, rather than just focusing on stopping the behavior. Key takeaways: The goal of recovery should be to learn to love in a self-giving way, rather than just stopping the unwanted behavior. God’s mercy flows to the lowest places, and His grace is fo...
Exposing the Online God
March 21, 2023 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBLiving in a digital age, we are faced with the reality that we have tough competition. That the internet is competing for our attention, our affection, for our questions, and our devotion. Today we will talk about this competition and what it provides; especially in the area of sexual integrity. Whether it's a struggle with pornography, or looking for hookups. So often, we are turning to our devices for things that are really, really good. And our devices offer pretty tough competition. ...
Walk Don’t Run When Sexually Aroused
March 14, 2023 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.29 MBTo start I want to let you know this podcast will be a little different. One that I hope will be helpful for you. I am going to talk about the difference between arousal and desire. The reason that’s so important for us to recognize is that when we feel arousal towards something that we know we don’t want, it can produce an amount of shame for us. If you’re pursuing sexual integrity, if you’re trying to walk away from unwanted sexual behaviors, the fact that those behaviors are unwanted m...
Is It Okay to Fantasize About Your Spouse?
March 07, 2023 10:00 - 14 minutes - 10.1 MBIn today’s podcast I’m going to be answering a question that was emailed to us. Is it okay for a man to masturbate while fantasizing about his wife? We encourage you to send us your questions as I really love to answer some of things that you all are experiencing and facing. So the question I got this week was from a guy who's involved in an accountability group. The guys in the group are making good progress. They're leaving their unwanted sexual behaviors behind including masturbation a...
Can I Really Change!?!
February 28, 2023 10:00 - 17 minutes - 12.1 MBHow free can you be? How free? Can you be? In some version or another, this is a question that we get a lot, especially for people who are just starting their journey towards sexual integrity. They've wrestled with their specific attractions and temptations and are wondering, is this going to be a part of my life forever? Can I actually be free? Can real change happen for me? Can I Really Change!?! In some ways, they're asking three different questions. How much change is possible for m...
Using Your Imagination for Fantasy or Faith
February 21, 2023 10:00 - 17 minutes - 11.9 MBIn Genesis when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and there was a delight to the eyes, and the tree was to be desired to make one wise she took of its fruit and ate. What did she see? The enemy when he tempts us wants us to see something. But the truth is, what he wants us to see is not reality. She saw something that wasn’t actually there. And the enemy does the same thing to us. He gets us pointed at pornography, at an extramarital relationship, masturbation, fantasy, a ho...
Accountability and Integrity
February 14, 2023 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.7 MBAt the core of every sexual integrity problem is relational brokenness. Because God created sex to be relational, it is relational down to its core. And so if you are dealing with a sexual issue, you are dealing with a relational issue. What is a partner or group for accountability? It's a certain kind of connection. As a result, if you have a relational brokenness in your life, you may have similar relational issues. Could they prevent you from achieving the level of sexual integrity...
The Why Behind the What
February 07, 2023 10:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBIf you are wrestling with unwanted sexual behaviors or recurring sexual behaviors, and want to get free, you have to know the why behind the what? What is the why, behind your specific what? So for example, if you struggle with pornography, and you're typically looking for a certain kind or genre, types of people, gender, or specific sexual acts in the pornography? What's the why behind those specifics that you're looking for? Or if you're acting out with other people physically, and you're...
Why It’s Not a Good Idea to Talk About Sex in Church
January 31, 2023 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.7 MBThere are just things you don't talk about at church, right? Absolutely not! I think the church is meant to be a place where we talk about the things that are really the most difficult to talk about in life. If we can't do that in our church community, where will we do it? Certainly, one of those topics is sex. Both in its beautiful, glorious holy intention that God designed sex to be between husband and wife in marriage, and also in the fallen expressions of sex that pervade our culture...
Break the Allure of Sexual Temptation
January 24, 2023 10:00 - 22 minutes - 15.4 MBThis week we will talk about breaking the allure of temptation. We will unpack it through the pattern that the enemy uses to tempt us. We can look at our sexual experiences and think that it’s just something that’s before us. But it is actually tempting us. It looks so appealing and harmless. Yet it has this magnetic pull that draws us in. So by talking about the patterns the enemy uses to pull us in, it will provide us the tools to get out of his tractor beam. It will expose the reality o...
My Relationship With God and My Sexual Sins
January 17, 2023 10:00 - 19 minutes - 13.6 MBThis week we will be responding to a question from one our listeners. “How does someone deal with doubts about identity in Christ while struggling with sexual addiction?” There is something about sin in general when it’s habitual and repetitive. When we experience in our bodies that conflict that we do what we don’t want to do, and we keep on doing it. It’s hard to believe that we have a new identity in Jesus. Or in my case, there were worse sexual behaviors that I engaged in after I had a...
When Your Wife Asks "Do You Think I'm Pretty?"
January 10, 2023 10:00 - 22 minutes - 15.4 MBYou know, it's just interesting, isn't it? That so many women wrestle with self esteem issues around their bodies. And so many men wrestle with lust. And it seems like the enemy just has a hay day there. Because put those two together and it just seems like a recipe for couples really to struggle. Pornography impacts both husband and wife and it certainly impacts their sexual intimacy. Here's what happens. He recognizes that when he looks at porn she feels hurt by him. From that hurt, al...
Promises to Stop Are Part of the Problem
January 03, 2023 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.9 MBIs lust a problem for you that you've been trying to overcome? If so, my guess is that at some point in your life, you've made promises to change. You've promised yourself you would change, you've promised God you would change, and you've promised others that you will change. The problem with making promises to change is that making promises to change is actually a part of the problem. Say that five times fast. I want to explain in this podcast why that is and give you three reasons why mak...
Lust Has a Cure
December 27, 2022 10:00 - 14 minutes - 9.67 MBToday, I invite you into the healing connection between our wrestling with lust, and the face of Jesus; his visible face. As a parent, especially a mom, you intimately knew your child when you were pregnant. You carried the child in your womb. Even dads know their kids while they are in the womb. And then they were born. We saw their face for the first time, and everything changed. Everything deepened. And of course, that only continues as they grow. As we see new aspects of their pers...
Your Next Step toward Sexual Integrity
December 20, 2022 10:00 - 16 minutes - 11.6 MBAre you ready to be free? Are you ready for life in the area of sexual integrity? Are you ready for your relationships to be healed, and working the way God intended them? Together we will walk through 8 phases in the journey to sexual wholeness. Through this process, you will know where you are and how to take the next steps. Highlights: Phase 0 – Ground zero In this phase, there is an awareness of sexual addiction. You are living in denial and still enjoying your sin. There is a tend...
Your Next Step toward Sexual Integrity
December 20, 2022 10:00 - 16 minutes - 11.6 MBAre you ready to be free? Are you ready for life in the area of sexual integrity? Are you ready for your relationships to be healed, and working the way God intended them? Together we will walk through 8 phases in the journey to sexual wholeness. Through this process, you will know where you are and how to take the next steps. Highlights: Phase 0 – Ground zero In this phase, there is an awareness of sexual addiction. You are living in denial and still enjoying your sin. There is a tend...
Why Sexual Temptation Hits at Christmas (and What You Can Do About It!)
December 13, 2022 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.3 MBAs the garland and the lights and the holiday specials and the festivities ramp up, where are you? If you’re feeling temptation take over, you’re not alone. There’s a lot more of just about everything during the holidays. Let’s try to recapture what Jesus has given us. Together, we’ll name 5 things that can distract us from Immanuel. And, we’ll unpack 5 ways to recenter our focus back on our Savior’s birth. Highlights: FACING TEMPTATIONS 1. Busyness Increases Sexual sin is offering yo...
Is Your View of God Blocking Your Healing?
December 06, 2022 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.7 MBIs your view of God getting in the way of your pursuit of sexual integrity? God isn’t blocking your healing. But your view of Him, your assumption about God could be an obstacle standing between you and your freedom. Let’s try to understand the theology working in the background of your heart, that may be limiting your progress. Let’s blaze a trail to Jesus when you need Him most. Highlights: Functional belief = what you believe in the moment of pressure When you’re tempted to sin sex...
You Aren’t Chronically Unique
November 29, 2022 10:00 - 14 minutes - 9.74 MBStruggling with unwanted habits can feel isolating. Your journey to sexual integrity isn’t a common or easy topic of conversation which can leave you feeling alone. Satan seizes your isolation as a perfect opportunity to tell you you’re different, dirty. This belief stacks a wall between you and your healing. Let’s tear down the wall that says you’re chronically unique so you can keep moving towards becoming whole. Highlights: There are so many men and women, who struggle with sexual...
You Are Made for Greatness
November 22, 2022 10:00 - 12 minutes - 8.78 MBPitfalls, betrayal, pride, shame, cycles - While you do the work of becoming whole, these are some of the things that will pull you from your calling. You are made for greatness. And God gave you a vision for what that looks like in Jesus: “We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in Him.” (Romans 8:29 MSG) Keep doing the hard work. You were made for greatness. Don’t you forget it. Highlights: Do we no longer do the hard work of pressing into the subtle, sinister pl...
When Temptation Comes Knocking
November 15, 2022 10:00 - 17 minutes - 11.8 MBLet’s isolate the moment of temptation: Maybe it looks like your fingertips hovering to type in a string of words you know will lead you to that site. Or maybe it looks like driving home a different route so you find yourself rolling slowly past that street. Every bit of you pulses with energy in that moment of temptation. The world is encouraging you to say “Yes” to the urge. Giving in can leave you alone with shame and regret. So, let’s pivot to a different “yes.” This is hard work ...
Sex: Back to Basics
November 08, 2022 10:00 - 24 minutes - 16.8 MBA jumble of frayed ends - consider the raw, exposed mess of a jumble of frayed ends. Keep this image in mind as we consider our current cultural belief system. Josh is about to carefully look at each broken strand of thinking and tie them back into one, whole, intentional, truth. God has a good, holy, beautiful design for our sexuality. So, why is sex today a jumble of frayed ends? Let’s find out. Highlights: God could have made the method to produce babies anyway He wanted and He...
Encountering His Kindness
November 01, 2022 09:00 - 9 minutes - 6.47 MBLet’s go beyond reading words about God’s kindness. If you are wrestling ongoing sexual sin, if you are battling shame, if you are facing past traumas; God is inviting you to experience His kindness. Right now, what if you could hear Jesus saying to you, “I’m right here and I love you.” (be sure to look in the Homework Section for more questions) Highlights: God is near and He loves you. It’s hard to accept God’s love for you in the difficult areas of wrestling with sexual sin. We ca...
Fantasy to Flesh Pt 2
October 25, 2022 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.5 MBWe’re going deeper in Part 2. Paying attention to the symbols and story-lines in your sexual fantasies often point towards a treasure within you. Sound twisted? Look to the “Homework” section below for key questions to help you untwist your temptation from your truest desires. Let's dive in. Highlights: Your imagination is given to you by God as a creative force. When your brain stirs up a sexual story line or sexual scenes, even though it’s directing you towards something sinful, i...
Fantasy to Flesh Pt 1
October 18, 2022 09:00 - 10 minutes - 7.49 MBFantasy looks like the scene you work up in your head from time to time. It seems innocent enough. You may tell yourself the fantasy is just a fleeting thought. But as you add details, you add emotions. Soon enough, your sexual fantasy works itself from your brain to your body amping those thoughts to feelings. In this short series, we want to urge you to take fantasy seriously. This Part One can be your Step One to breaking free from your unwanted sexual habits. (Stay tuned for Part...
Don’t Fight Porn Alone
October 11, 2022 09:00 - 15 minutes - 10.3 MBSomething in your story made pornography enticing. You didn’t just stumble on it. Have you ever wondered what was happening in your life that made porn seem like a safe place to run? Decades of work in healing from unwanted sexual behaviors lead us to this episode. You are meant to do this work alone and here’s why. Highlights 5 Reasons You Think You CAN Heal on Your Own: Fear asks, “What happens if I get found out? What will I lose? What will people think?” Shame says, “If people k...
Did She Cause You to Sin?
October 04, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 8.12 MBLet’s start with Adam. God went into the garden and asked him a question. Adam pointed to Eve in shame. Are you pointing fingers when it comes to your lust? Are you pointing to the pop up ad? To the woman at the bar? As you are trying to break free from lust, consider what it could look like for you to stop accusing others around you and start acknowledging what’s within you. You are designed out of love and for love, not lust. While you’re working towards sexual wholeness, remember ...
The Tension of Beauty
September 27, 2022 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.6 MBBeauty carries a powerful tension. Seeing beauty isn’t enough. C.S. Lewis writes that “We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words — to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.” Beauty leads us to wanting more of it. A recent email we received asks, “What place does beauty have in the observance of another human be...
Do I Need a Filter?
September 20, 2022 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.15 MBBefore even stepping into the deeper waters of whether a filter shows wisdom or weakness; you can’t ignore the tsunami coming at you. Do I Need a Filter? Listen in as Josh describes the unique age we’re living in as two powerful waves of sexual immorality and digital connectivity crashing on us 24/7. They create floodwaters rushing through your living room, bedroom, locker room, office space, car. Is a filter enough? Let’s find out. Highlights Common Objections to Filters: A filter ...
Mercy Meet Me Here
September 13, 2022 09:00 - 14 minutes - 10.3 MBIf you have a hard time believing God wants to forgive you; again and again - This episode is for you. If you notice you’re trying to raise yourself up, reducing what you’ve done to receive mercy – This episode is for you. Let’s appreciate God’s gift of mercy as a GIFT, freely and generously given, for you right where you are. Highlights: It can feel difficult to separate the anger you feel with yourself about your own condition and how God feels about you. 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Every sin ...
Sacred by Design
September 06, 2022 09:00 - 10 minutes - 7.32 MBRead this sentence a few times: Human beings are the crown of creation. What a glorious declaration! Now consider the fact that sexual sin contorts that truth. A building block to sexual integrity is the understanding and appreciation of the inherent value within you and the people around you. Recognize God’s ideal representation of Himself is the man you are, is the woman you are because you are sacred by design. Also, today we are launching “Sacred by Design” a new addition to the R...
How are Your Eyes?
August 30, 2022 09:00 - 12 minutes - 8.26 MBConsidering all the tools you’re working with for sexual wholeness- group work, reading, one on one counseling, software filters - how are your eyes? A key component to your becoming whole is how you are seeing other people. Hashtags, movies, social media scrolls and commercials are at war with the important work you’re doing. Open your eyes to acknowledge the battle for your vision. Then open your heart to pray, “Lord, help me see.” Highlights: We strive in our culture to become attr...
The Power of Your Sexual Fantasy
August 23, 2022 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.25 MBAs your sexual fantasy starts playing out in your head, you might shrug it off as “just my imagination.” But sexual fantasy carries more power than you know. It’s the gateway that leads to everything else you’re battling. So, let’s consider taking a different point of view of your sexual fantasy and taking back some of the power it holds on you. What if you tried more than just putting it out of your mind? What if you could connect the storylines of your fantasy to the storyline of your ...
What Sexual Sin Says About You
August 16, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 7.87 MBYou are created to be loved by God. You are created to be part of a grand, triumphant story. Your sexual sin doesn’t subtract you from the story. Throughout scripture, we see God choosing and inviting all sorts of characters with all sorts of issues into THE bigger story. Don’t let shame make you believe otherwise. God still wants you. God still chooses you. Your sexual sin doesn’t disqualify you from being chosen, it doesn’t cross you off God’s invite list. Highlights: Our bodies pla...
Your Body Is Not the Enemy
August 09, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 8.23 MBBattling sexual sin does not mean going to war against your body. Your eyes, hands, feet, your genitals are not the enemy. The Enemy is the enemy. Understanding God loves your body is key in your fight to becoming whole. At the most precious point in the creation story, God created the human body. Your body is not the enemy. Highlights: Your body matters immensely to God. When God sees your body, He sees you. Your body is not an accessory to who you are, it is a fundamental part of...
They Will See God
August 02, 2022 09:00 - 9 minutes - 6.64 MBGod’s word tells you, “your name is written on the palm of His hand,” and that “He knows the number of hairs on your head,” and that “It was for you He died.” Consider this - The same is true for the porn actress and the man you just swiped left for. God designed you and lives in you. God designed and lives in them. We encounter God when we encounter other people. There’s a lot packed in this short episode, let’s begin. Highlights: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see Go...
The Reality of Temptation in a Fallen World
July 26, 2022 09:00 - 12 minutes - 8.54 MB“In this world you will have troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” Temptation is trouble. In fact, temptation is multi-layered trouble because it wants you to believe there’s something bad about you that leads you to be tempted at all. Jesus knows temptation and He knows you. In this episode of “Becoming Whole,” we’re reframing temptation through God’s word and Jesus’ grace. Highlights: Jesus taught us to pray in the Lords Prayer - “And do not lead us into temptation ...
When Shame is Driving You
July 19, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 7.94 MBYou’re here now, listening for a reason. Maybe you’re hoping to find a new way, break a habit. Understanding the motivation behind your goal is key to healthy change. In this episode, we’ll explain how shame works. Learning to recognize the sneak and bully Shame is in your work towards wholeness is important. From the outside, your eagerness to volunteer and motivation to serve can look godly and impressive. But, if shame is driving you; that eagerness and motivation can push you towar...
Embracing God, Not Results
July 12, 2022 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9 MBTenacious. That’s the kind of grip your sexual addiction can have on you- no matter if it’s porn, masturbation, or hooking up. So, here’s a tough question. While your sexual sin is holding on to you, what are you holding onto? The reality is we are living in an on-demand kind of world. As a Christian battling for sexual freedom, it’s important to recognize if you’re holding onto the hope of instant results or the hope of God. In this episode of “Becoming Whole,” we’ll confront the str...
3 Steps to Navigating Temptation
July 05, 2022 09:00 - 12 minutes - 8.66 MBWhat if you could watch footage of yourself just as you’re caught in a moment of temptation? No one else knows what’s about to happen, but you: Your finger might be lingering above the “play” button. You might be walking down the specific hallway where you might see her. You might be standing in front of your bedroom door. Hitting pause at that moment would hold a lot of meaning for you in battling your unwanted sexual behavior. And the pattern is deep, the temptation is painfully intens...
Sexuality Doesn’t Have It’s Own Rules
June 28, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 8.23 MBDieting, Parenting, Working - these are just a few of the arenas in our lives in which boundaries are not only necessary but good. These guidelines establish our limits, communicate our comfort levels and set expectations. When it comes to sexuality today, it seems the lines are blurred. Remember, your body is significant to what it means to be a human being. Your body is significant to the story of salvation. We hope you’ll consider this episode of “Becoming Whole” as a reset, reali...
What Do You Really Want!?!
June 21, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 8.12 MBWe believe God is omniscient. And yet, from Genesis 1:1 all the way to Revelation 22:21, there are more than 3,000 questions logged in the Bible. Why? Why would our All-Knowing God shape so much of His Word into questions? Consider how questions serve as a powerful tool to connect, dig and uncover. Perhaps God is asking you questions to connect, dig, and uncover your truest desires with you. Let’s take some time to consider the questions God may be asking. Highlights: Why does God...
Pulling on a Thread of Lies
June 14, 2022 09:00 - 14 minutes - 9.98 MBThe enemy is hard at work weaving lies about who you are, hoping to trap you under a suffocating blanket of who you are NOT. Don’t fall in the trap. The fabric of your being is more intricate and intentional than you can imagine. But the world and the enemy are diligent to get you to believe that what you struggle with is you, is your fault, is because of what you’ve done. As you listen, allow the Lord to tug at a few threads with you to discover the lies you might be living under. Con...
Why Can’t I Stop Watching Porn? Part II
June 07, 2022 09:00 - 15 minutes - 10.7 MB“Why Can’t I stop watching porn?” This question deserves a 2 part answer, at least. In last week’s episode, we offered a high-level understanding of our neurological mapping. Learning the intricacy and purpose of serotonin, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and dopamine are important to appreciating God’s design for you. We know porn rewires our God-given desires. The on-demand, accessible nature of porn shuts down the detailed work of your Heavenly Father. It’s time to treat yourself as someo...
Why Can’t I Stop Watching Porn? Part I
May 31, 2022 09:00 - 15 minutes - 10.7 MBSimply put, pornography jumbles up the delicate, powerful wiring of your brain. Neurology is anything but simple. But, let’s try to our look at our neurological mapping for enough understanding to unpack and move forward in our walk towards sexual integrity. Porn rewires our God given desires. Let’s try re-wiring to what God intended for us. “The process of sanctification is an addiction to holiness, a compulsive fixation on Christ and an impulsive pattern of compassion, virtue and love. T...
Road Hazards to Sexual Integrity
May 24, 2022 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.5 MBThe journey to sexual integrity is loaded with potholes and detours. Road Hazards to Sexual Integrity. Let’s be honest - It’s easy to come out of one ditch and end up stumbling into another. You’ve been doing such important work walking towards sexual wholeness. When it comes to your lusts, we hope this episode serves to alert you to two pitfalls. As you move forward, be aware of them and be listening for Jesus invitation in it all. Let’s begin. Highlights: Two pitfalls we can fall in...