How Can I Share my Authentic Feelings when my Addict Partner Reacts with Depression, Anxiety and/or Shame?
Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
English - April 30, 2024 12:00 - 39 minutes - 27.1 MB - ★★★★★ - 126 ratingsSexuality Health & Fitness Mental Health betrayal trauma infidelity cheating overcome porn addiction overcome sex addiction nofap porn addiction recovery your brain on porn porn addiction treatment marriage Homepage Download Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
In Episode 226, a PBSE listener asks a very common question about her interactions with her porn/sex addicted partner:
Hello, I just recently started listening to your podcast and I was wondering if you have, or if you could talk about, how to approach communicating our authentic feelings when our porn addict partner also struggles with depression … I'm always too scared to be fully transparent with him about what I'm feeling because I worry it will make him spiral to a very dark place … I know we won't be able to fully heal and mend our relationship until I'm able to be fully honest with him. For a little context: he is not currently in therapy; I've told him that therapy with a CSAT is one of the things I need him to do to help me feel safe and that I think it will help him in all areas of his life, not just in recovery.
Mark & Steve talk straight-forward and open about this kind of situation—for both the addict and the partner:
For Porn/Sex Addicts:
For Partners in Healing:
We understand that it is stressful, scary and may even bring about unwanted consequences to share how you're truly feeling with your partner.You have to ask yourself: “what kind off marriage do I want?” Intimacy means sharing the good AND the bad. Choosing deep connection means letting go of the outcomes.Allowing the feelings of another individual to compromise your own authentic integrity is always an exchange of diminishing returns. Be loving, but direct:Be sure to authentically share the things that he is doing well, in addition to areas needing work.If there are things that you appreciate about him, express those and the why behind them.BUT, be very clear about the impact his actions/inactions are having on you, the relationship, etc.Share what consequences have come about as a result, and what yet may come if there isn’t change. Acknowledge your inability to “make” him feel any sort of way, and encourage him to access and/or find needed supports.
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim C