Nancy Evans

Hello I’m Nancy Evans  I'm a 49 year old mother of 3 sons (ages 9, 14, 16).  We are a neurodiverse family. I took my eldest 2 out if the school system aged 8 and 6, my youngest has never been to school. I decided to prioritise their mental health & happiness.  I knew they had learning differences but didn't seek diagnosis until eldest was 14 & wanted to go back into mainstream education.  I had my diagnosis last Spring, armed with that knowledge I began healing the final piece of my own puzzle.  With medication, a love of TikTok & passion for sobriety I have started training as a life coach specialising in addictive behaviours.  I want to help people find freedom, joy and reach their full potential.  I'm particularly interested in supporting neurodiverse people recover from their patterns of addictive behaviour and want to  help them heal from their trauma.

I started drinking at 14, smoking cannabis occasionally from 16/17.  I didn't find class A drugs until my early 20's when I started working in a pub after a big relationship break up.  It was the mid nineties, festivals, techno, drum and bass, ecstasy, mdma and cocaine were what it was all about until i married my husband and started to want a family.  I knocked it all on the head quite rapidly (accept alcohol) until i was pregnant.  I found the sudden transition from raver to mother incredibly isolating and lonely.  I did my best but it never felt good enough.  I had no idea my two young sons both had ADHD, they were beautiful but often overwhelming combinations of high energy, laughter and defiance.  My evening drinking began to escalate, the need to 'switch off', zone out, numb out was strong.  I had no other tools at the time.  It wasn't until i was 39 and heavily pregnant with my 3rd son that I realised I couldn't continue being so stressed out and shouty... the ordeal of trying to get my two boys ready for school and out of the house each morning was making my stress levels spiral.  I converted to a 'respectful parenting' a philosophy which was my re-birth as a mother.  Shortly after i made the decision to pull them out of school.  We became Unschoolers, learning through life, personal interests and experiences, prioritising joy and our relationships.  Our family unit went from strength to strength,  however i kept alcohol in my life for a further 6 years, trying to moderate trying not to drink.... it was exhausting.  From the outside I looked like a 'normal drinker' if there is such a thing.  I'd stopped enjoying it but did it out of habit and compulsion and I hated the fact it had such a strong hold over me.

One day a friend told me shed not had a drink for 2 years.  She wasn't a 'problem drinker' as far as i could see but she'd stopped.  Wow, my mind was blown.  'You mean you can stop drinking even if you're not classified as an alcoholic?!!'  Drinking had been such a huge part of my life and a societal norm I just hadn't realised there was another way.  It was such a big part of my identity.  She had inadvertently given me the permission I'd unknowingly been seeking.  So I made the decision that I would never drink again and I haven't.  That was three years ago.

You can find Nancy @sober_loving_radical on Instagram and TikTok or email [email protected]