The Power of Gifts

Gifts, both giving and receiving, can be an effective love language for many. At the same time, when the gift is given with an expectation (even named) of something in return, it is no longer a gift.  This is perceived by the receiver as not being genuine or even just as something that is now expected and deserved.
The other thing that happens is sometimes the receiver does not perceive that they are worthy of the gift. This is masking an underlying anxiety and challenge with self-worth.  Children between 2-4 years old are developing this section of their brains and still need a lot of unconditional love to feel safe and perceive a value in themselves as well as within the family unit.
So, to use the love language of gifts effectively, we as parents should first make sure what we view as a gift is truly a gift coming from a place of unconditional love rather than a reward or a bribe.  Also we need to check in with our child and see how they are feeling about their own value and with their own identity because giving a gift to help someone feel better about themself is most likely going to backfire because the gift gets attached to the person's self worth and since at the moment the feel very low in that area, the gift also is perceived as worthless.  As a parent will get mad or angry and perceive our child's reaction to the gift as wrong or disrespectful, when in reality, the child's behavior is an outward manifestation of what the most likely are feeling inside.

Start with a different love language to target self worth, value and belonging and then add in gifts (drawings, cards, small tokens) that come from a place of heart.

Thanks for listening! I appreciate all of you very much.