On the Same Page

This has been the most asked question we've ever received: How do I get my partner/spouse on board with this style of parenting?

Research has demonstrated there are generally four different types of parenting, based on differing levels of demandingness and responsiveness. Research has also shown that an authoritative style of parenting generally leads to the most positive outcomes in our children, such as school achievement, social skills, depression, delinquency, and more.

Leah does a deep dive into a research study that looks at the impacts of parents having different styles, and how that impacts various outcomes for children.  This study found that families with 2 authoritative parents had kids with the lowest levels of depression and highest levels of school commitment. This suggests that the effects of authoritative parenting is amplified when adopted by both parents.

It's important that parents are on the same page about important topics and styles of addressing behavior and responding to their kids. This is important not just because of the research that 2 authoritative parents are best, but because we don't want our kids to learn to triangulate us to get their way or pit us against one another.


If you're struggling with your partner and different styles of parenting, try to understand their concerns or what they're afraid of and start to talk through what agreements you might be able to reach together. Then, try to determine how your partner is motivated; by emotions (share your why, use stories) or logic and reasoning (share research, statistics, books, podcasts).

Ultimately, give your partner grace. This is a huge shift that goes against many societal norms and requires shifts in thinking and understanding, whihc can take time and may not look the same for everyone.

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