How to build a deeper connection with your partner.

  First some facts:

61% of caregivers are women    1 in 5 Americans       CG face declining health 

Here are some of the most common challenges faced by partners who are CGing:   

ResentmentIsolationDepression (research shows that CG experience at a higher rate than their partners)AnxietyLoss of employmentFailed relationshipFamily strain impacting children and extended family

What causes this? 

Focusing on limitations that face you and your partner vs possibilityLack of transparency with yourself about your feelingsNeglecting your interests, friends, activitiesNeglecting your partner’s needs that are beyond those related to health Missed opportunities to provide the support that grows your connectionRole reversalFinances

Exercise to try: download a worksheet to help you here

Visualize yourself the way someone else would see you if they watched you for a few hours.  How would they describe you?  What energy do you put off?  (sad, quiet, angry, frustrated, exasperated, chipper, positive, encouraging)   

Now, what would you do to help or support this person? What would you offer them?  

TAKE NOTE OF YOUR ADVICE, YOUR WORDS TO THIS PERSON.    This is you! You need to care for yourself like this and avoid repeatedly going back to the state that you found this person in.  What can you do to avoid that?  What’s causing this problem?   What activities, hobbies, interests would help you to make this connection/bridge to a healthier lifestyle.

 Repeat this process for your partner.  Look at them as if you are a stranger.  Someone just walked into the house and is meeting your partner for the first time.  What do they see?  How would they describe them?  What advice, support would they offer?   

When seeing your partner through a 3rd party perspective: How would tomorrow be, how would it go, if you took time to see your partner in this perspective a few times a day?  What emotions would you feel?   It’s likely that you would have more patience and take things less personally.   You might see areas of interest and activity or opportunity that your partner is missing out on that is contributing to the way they interact with you. 

Last thing:  how do these realizations make you feel and what don’t you like about them?    There is more work for you to do here and it doesn’t happen overnight.  This is uncomfortable but uncomfortable is good because it means that you are moving out into a new area of growth. 

Need more help with this exercise:  Check out the option for more support at https://www.caregiverbydesign.com/waitlist to help you to see your partner differently.  Develop a clinical eye that will help you see their strengths and know what to do with them.

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If you need more help/support on your caregiving journey, you can find it over at https://www.caregiverbydesign.com/coaching
Free training now : watch a short free video I created on coaching vs caregiving https://www.caregiverbydesign.com/freetraining