#13 Sheila Hoogenboom’s Story: The Different Stages Of Grieving A Loss & Learning The Importance Of Your Tribe

Sheila Hoogenboom has quite an extraordinary story. She grew up with a blue-collar family that was very simple. She was raised in BC and had an older brother. As a teen, her brother got into a lot of trouble and so her mom and dad really focussed on him. She did not receive as much guidance because of this. When she was young she really struggled with finding a path and direction. She was one who drifted through High School and planned to go back to school but never did.

She got pregnant at a very young age and decided after unpredictable circumstances to give her daughter up for adoption. She knew she could not provide for that daughter. Later in her life, she met a guy and they moved in together right away. They had a traditional marriage and had two kids, a son, and a daughter. But things turned negative really quickly. Sheila's husband  committed suicide which was life-altering for the whole family. Back then mental health was not talked about the way it is today. People treated her differently as they thought something was wrong with them. Some people left her but some really great friends stayed. In the beginning, she didn't really give herself time to feel as she was focused on the kids. Through all the judgment she received she continued to get support. Sheila struggled with many feelings but being a wife and a mother was the ultimate wait for someone to leave you. Her self-esteem took a hard hit for the next 20 years. She asked herself why she wasn't enough and struggled with why he left her. 

She was back in the same position of when she gave her first daughter up for adoption. How was she supposed to raise these children alone. She had amazing tools that she learned from a parenting program. Her grieving process didn't begin until later as her main focus was her kids. Her kids also struggled greatly from this and asked themselves some more questions like what was wrong with them and they had a great fear that she would leave them as well. She continued to have an open dialogue with her kids. She said that her close friends and her tribe were vile to her survival. She emphasized how important it is to have a tribe of women.

Her kids pushed her to start dating again and got into a relationship that wasn't great. She had a great job and was very involved in the community but she gave herself very little credit for all the amazing things she did. After a lot of work and a little manifestation she found her happily ever after and is living the life of her dreams. She met her daughter that she gave up when she was young and all the guilt went away. Shelia now knows her worth and celebrates who she is now!

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Sending love and joy your way!

Selina Novello