Not Models
77 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 4 years ago - ★★★★★ - 30 ratingsTwo totally normal not model-like long distance best friends stay up to date on each others lives and navigate living in a world of role models and Instagram models.
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
Best of Season One
August 12, 2018 04:00 - 1 hour - 52.8 MBOur favorite moments from the first season of Not Models
Nutty Pickle Mouth
August 05, 2018 04:00 - 1 hour - 29.4 MBMelissa and Emily have made it to the first finale! Say goodbye to Season One by welcoming an interview by the one, the only, Luke Sykora! La Tour de France and Jenner analogies, Luke is officially the Not Models Sports Dude. Also covered is etiquette on chronic present returners and knife hoarders. Melissa discusses news on cacti thieves and vomit fraud, and the newest snack on the block is yours to try at home. See you in three weeks, and enjoy Episode 25 of Season One!
Pyramid Scheme of Comedy
July 29, 2018 04:00 - 52 minutes - 24 MBThis episode was not recorded on a poison parsnip, as much as it may sound like that's the case. It's Emily's birthday episode!! If you want free cake from Pennsylvania you'll have to listen to the whole episode. This week, in addition to lots of sexy singing of " Happy Birthday" (don't sue us) Emily recaps the only 3 birthdays she can remember, answers fan questions, drinks her weight in Port, and plays would you rather. Melissa also interprets dreams and gives her final bachelorette predic...
No One's in a Dumpster, I Promise
July 22, 2018 04:00 - 1 hour - 30.3 MBMelissa has finally landed in the world of gardening! Offering the masses opportunities to purchase the largest zucchinis! Doesn't sound very interesting? You must be a teen! Lucky for you we specifically focus on what teenagers are into these days and whether or not we are hip! The mystery of Fancy Women Etiquette Groups is solved, and Melissa and Emily go over news involving Australian crocodiles, a naked man, murals of mayors on a toilet, and scammers scamming! Sponsored this week by Melis...
Courtyard Girls
July 15, 2018 04:00 - 56 minutes - 26.1 MBDon’t take our Pasties! AKA the theme to this week’s episode of Not Models. Melissa and Emily dive deep into etiquette, bachelorette updates, and a dream halloween fashion line. More patented business ideas are discovered, and the dreamiest dates are planned out. Sponsored by Mr. Recycle Lady, Hot Mix Tapes, and Life Insurance.
Bomb Don Broke Too Fast
July 08, 2018 04:00 - 48 minutes - 22.2 MBEmily finally meets Melissa’s new home, and gets the ins ands outs on a Juliet balcony and other home specs. Reality TV is a hot topic this episode, with recaps for The Proposal, The Bachelorette, and the Bachelor in Paradise (one of those includes a drinking game). News on paddle board records, the oldest unpaid parking ticket, and Trump shaped ecstasy pills!
I AM PRETTY, YES I AM!
July 01, 2018 04:00 - 55 minutes - 25.7 MBIf you can handle some minor (and hopefully final) technical difficulties, then you'll love this episode! Mel & Em catch up after a long time away where they hear all about wedding festivities, new homes, mysterious smokers and swinging curling irons! Not to mention the ever informative secondhand sports and Bachelorette updates, and even a new hit single from Melissa herself. Stay tuned to hear her little treat of a song, and listen closely for when Luke scares Melissa in the safety of her n...
The Lost Episode
June 24, 2018 04:00 - 41 minutes - 19.3 MBThe lost episode has been found! Just moments before Emily dumped a glass of wine on her now deceased laptop we hear from some slitty dumpster witches about the struggles of monk life, moving, going plastic free, and being an animal in a zoo. Thanks Donna Donna as always for the tunes!
Justice for Joe
June 17, 2018 04:00 - 33 minutes - 15.5 MBBachelorette week 1 reactions, sad news about Em's technology, and a recap of their week together. What should Em tattoo on her elbow? Whose fault is your grammar? If you're' thinking of getting a new laptop any time soon the ladies have some advice for you. Fashion advice and business ideas like always on this weeks episode! Music by Donna Donna.
Prune and Harvest
June 10, 2018 04:00 - 54 minutes - 25.3 MBMelissa tours the world and recaps her party beach weekend with a special guest interview. Emily throws Mel back into the world of reality TV and they make a pact to use their best screeching wheel sound effects when dodging tough situations. Do you know when lavender season is? We don't either. But we know you will enjoy the pontoon-full episode! Check on Donna Donna at Donnadonna.bandcamp.com
Summa - - - Laude
June 03, 2018 04:00 - 47 minutes - 21.7 MBEver have weird feelings about a dinner party? Not sure if you’re acting appropriate or not? Yes? Then this episode is for you! Etiquette with Emily comes out as Melissa questions her knowledge on proper dinner manners. More business ideas are discovered (big surprise) including a free marketing tip for all to share. We dive head first into attempting a plastic free lifestyle, and cover news on dangerous llamas, ear tickling hockey players, and graduate cakes with bad words on them. Sponsored...
Hallmark vs. Not Models
May 27, 2018 04:00 - 58 minutes - 26.7 MBThey are back and they are full of epic marketing ideas, dental hygiene tips, and the final say in what is and what isn't considered cheating at a bachelor party. Also, if you have a weird rash it's probably cannibalism and if you're about to be a part of a dramatic lawsuit all you have to do to get out of it is to change your name! Thanks to Maniel, Caniel, and Channel for being our support system this episode. As always thanks to Donna Donna Band for our music!
Hide your Candy, Hide your Couch
May 20, 2018 04:00 - 59 minutes - 27.2 MBGet ready, get set, get pumped for this episode of Not Models, because this one's for the kids! Mel and Em discuss the latest in top toys and games, prepare for Halloween way in advance, and teach children of all ages how to barter their collectibles. Em also confronts Mel on her addictive towel fashion, and reports all the news on roaches, candy thieves, and jockstraps. So better yet, maybe don't let your children listen. Unless you want them to, then by all means this one's for you. Not spo...
Whiplash at the Forward Tee
May 13, 2018 04:00 - 49 minutes - 22.7 MBTurns out Melissa must always be 40% basic bitch in order to survive and Emily is almost at sommelier level after finally learning how drink white wine wine. Trader Joe's, retirement planning, and golf date etiquette are all ready for you this episode. Sit back, take a quaalude, relax, and don't forget about DonnaDonna.bandcamp.com
Parlay for Fortnite
May 06, 2018 04:00 - 48 minutes - 22.6 MBIs your partner addicted to Fortnite? Ever wonder how you can cash in on that by making them pony up? Listen to this episode of Not Models to find out how! Mel & Em also cover the Men In Black black drinking game and how it relates to life in general, wonder how a high school boy could get attacked by a goose, and discuss all the inappropriate places to eat Cheetos.
The Supportive Steamroller
May 01, 2018 04:00 - 47 minutes - 22.1 MBAre Emily's new leggings a scam? Melissa is up to the challenge of sleuthing to find out. Emily and Melissa also ponder if they will ever be fancy enough to buy their friends Thai burritos, know what a Duke is, or own a Birkin bag. Special guest Christina visits with music as always by Donna Donna band. Check them out at DonnaDonnaband.bandcamp.com
Bonus Interview: Nice Guy Niles
April 29, 2018 04:00 - 11 minutes - 5.55 MBThis week we have a bonus interview with the one, the only, Nice Guy Niles. Tune in to learn a little more about the fan favorite! Music by Donna Donna Band www.donnadonnaband.bandcamp.com
Rhonda La Bum Ba!
April 22, 2018 04:00 - 44 minutes - 20.3 MBHave you ever tried to screw open a twist top wine bottle? Put on your Sunday finest and give it a try as you listen to episode 10! This week Melissa and Emily discuss how to unsuccessfully shop hungry, baboon collaborations, and Coachella fashion tips. Keep your ears peeled for the special musical number in honor of UFOs.
Whole Nothing Diet
April 15, 2018 04:00 - 34 minutes - 16 MBThis week Melissa dishes on her excessive online shopping spree and Emily updates us on the Whole32 fails of the past week. They talk pop culture drama (Tristan, if you're listening), the TV and movies they've been watching, and breaking monkey/wedding news. Music by Donna Donna Band https://donnadonna.bandcamp.com/
Ken Marsh, if You're Listening
April 08, 2018 04:00 - 46 minutes - 21.4 MBWith Melissa's Birthday just around the corner, Emily and Mel dive deep into celebrations of years past. This episode also includes a how-to on accepting compliments, breaking moose news, and confessions of sprinting where no sprinting should occur. Music by Donna Donna Band https://donnadonna.bandcamp.com/
Hold Me Closer, Spy Dancer
April 01, 2018 04:00 - 40 minutes - 18.9 MBThis week we introduce our new theme music by the band Donna Donna! Emily and Melissa also discuss escaping from the hospital, hot comedy fashion, and their dream dance studio curriculum. Check out Donna Donna at www.donnadonna.bandcamp.com
Mostly Luke, Inc.
March 25, 2018 04:00 - 50 minutes - 23.4 MBThis week Emily makes a pact to never say a fact without first doing her research, and Melissa made herself a gift box. They talk products and potential business ideas, who's leading the Match Madness brackets, and share self-conscious confessions about skiing, being a sore winner, and scary movies!
What Shakes Your Buttons?
March 18, 2018 04:00 - 26 minutes - 12.4 MBEmily and Melissa explain their March Madness bracket strategy and create a drinking game for people who aren’t sports fans (don’t worry, it’s not just for basketball. This game covers ALL sports). They also go over boxed wine etiquette at parties, talk about skiing with the bros, wisdom teeth removal, and their St. Patrick’s Day plans!
Scared Into a Bloody Mary
March 13, 2018 04:00 - 40 minutes - 18.8 MBMelissa provides a synopsis of The Bachelor while Emily recaps The Oscars*. Both ladies discover the definition of a needle dick in the midst of topics such as Emily's knowledge of Sweeney Todd, boundaries, basketball, and self-conscious confessions. *In Emily's tipsy recap she manages to make a mistake on a win. Jordan Peele did not win Best Director, but instead was the winner of Best Original Screenplay.
Everyone's a Little Bit Ugly Sometimes
March 04, 2018 05:00 - 37 minutes - 17.2 MBIt's the first official long distance episode and the most musical episode yet! Emily and Melissa catch up on the busy week full of somersaults, hairy fruit, and setting things on fire. If you like Sweeney Todd, hip hop dance workouts, or windowless rooms then this episode is for you.
Midnight Snack
February 25, 2018 05:00 - 21 minutes - 9.74 MBThe last week together before long distance strikes again, Emily and Melissa talk about getting what you want at work, celebrate Valentine's Day, and have a little after dark phone fun!
Nice to Meet You
February 14, 2018 05:00 - 50 minutes - 23.1 MBEmily Butler and Melissa Rice are Not Models and this is their pilot podcast episode (and they dare you to say that 10 times fast). In addition to not being models they also aren't pilots so please don't trust them to fly you anywhere, other than to the moon, Frank Sinatra style. Comedy. Friendship. Mimosas. Join us and learn how to protect your teeth AND tendons against irrational attacks. It's the Not Models inaugural podcast!