No-Budget Nightmares

EPISODE 33: DEADBEAT AT DAWN (1988)

March 04, 2013 21:31 - 91.7 MB

Grab your throwing stars and nun-chucks and head to the cemetery for a knock-down, drag-out brawl with episode 33 of the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES PODCAST featuring Jim Van Bebber’s cult classic DEADBEAT AT DAWN. Your intrepid hosts Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley take to the mean streets of Dayton, Ohio and find a near apocalyptic hell-hole of nastiness, where gangs rule the streets and the only way to survive is to RUN LIKE HELL. It’s messy, violent and OH SO AWESOME, so dive in while we m...

EPISODE 32: GOBLIN (1993)

February 12, 2013 21:28 - 125 MB

Todd Sheets. TODD SHEETS. If you had told us all the way back in Episode #5 that less than 30 episodes later MOE PORNE and DOUG “SWEETBACK” TILLEY would be talking to the man himself, they would have called you a liar. A scoundrel. A miscreant. Yet, here we are not only featuring a film he’s actively disowned (1993′s GOBLIN), but also featuring an interview with the MASTER OF SPLATTER TODD SHEETS! Yeah, this is a big one, so call your parents (adopted or otherwise) and get them to listen as T...

EPISODE 31: SLEDGEHAMMER (1983)

January 30, 2013 20:51 - 83.1 MB

You could have a steam train, if you’d just lay down your track. Or you could have a SLEDGEHAMMER to the freakin’ SKULL! No, it’s not Peter Gabriel, it’s David DEADLY PREY Prior’s early 80s shot-on-video horror classic SLEDGEHAMMER! Packed to the gills with thoroughly reprehensible (and stupid!) characters, Prior has his cast maneuver the halls of his apartment while avoiding a shape changing, invincible, sledgehammer-wielding, mask-wearing MANIAC! LISTEN to your hosts MOE PORNE and DOUG “SWE...

EPISODE 30: THE 30TH EPISODE SPECTACULAR!

January 10, 2013 20:48 - 154 MB

OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER! No-Budget Nightmares returns with its 30th episode anniversary spectacular, and you’ve never heard ANYTHING like it. We have listener mail, recorded messages from some of our favorite film-makers, interviews with Oliver Assiran & Les Norris (directors of GORNO: AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY), David Sitbon (who appeared in SUBURBAN SASQUATCH and ANTFARM DICKHOLE), Jim Bultas (director of ROCK N’ ROLL SPACE PATROL ACTION IS GO) and Deric Bernier (who appeared in NIGHT...

EPISODE 29: SCIENCE CRAZED (1989)

December 15, 2012 20:35 - 86.3 MB

You’ve never seen anything like SCIENCE CRAZED. That’s both a threat AND a promise. A Canuxploitation classic of the highest (lowest?) order, NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES hosts Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley can make neither head nor tail of the bizarre pacing, strange dubbing and downright BIZARRE qualities that make up Ron Switzer’s Canadian wonder. It deserves your love, respect and FEAR. Join the cult of SCIENCE CRAZED.

EPISODE 28: HOLY MOLY (1991)

December 03, 2012 20:23 - 73.3 MB

You like vomit, right? No? Well, thrash metal legend Lance Ozanix LOVES vomit. And in 1991 he decided to turn his unique ability to vomit on command into a 40 minute, blasphemous spectacular! HOLY MOLY features finger snippings, demon horns, neon ray-bans and is as ugly as it is entertaining (which is a LOT). Your podcast pals Moe Porne and Doug Tilley dive deep into the netherworld, and come up with delicious bite-sized morsels of fun and frivalty. Take a ride on the NBN freight train, if yo...

EPISODE 27: REANIMATOR ACADEMY (1992)

November 16, 2012 20:19 - 91.7 MB

Move over Herbert West, EDGAR ALLAN LOVECRAFT (seriously) is here! Full of more panty-headed partiers than you can shake a syringe of “reanimating serum” at, REANIMATOR ACADEMY is an aquarium of laughs that features a smattering of gangsters, a gaggle of decapitations, and prostitutes by the bucketful! If you listen carefully you can hear hosts Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley slowly lose their minds (and heads!), before eventually finding serenity in the sweet embrace of death. PLUS Ano...

EPISODE 26: THE BURNING MOON (1997)

November 08, 2012 20:15 - 111 MB

GREETINGS, TRUE BELIEVERS! This week we have a film from GERMANY, or – I should say – GOREMANY, because this episode is jam packed with organ meat, decapitations and TEETH DRILLING. Splatmaster Olaf Ittenbach cut his teeth (HA!) as a dental technician before churning out some of the nastiest low-budget violence that Deutschland has to offer, and he started his career making nihilistic shot-on-video nonsense like 1997′s THE BURNING MOON. Listen to Moe Porne and Doug Till-E-y fumble their way t...

EPISODE 25: DEAD IS DEAD (1992)

October 18, 2012 20:02 - 98.9 MB

Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen, because it’s time for Mike Stanley’s immortal (GET IT) DEAD IS DEAD, starring the bearded, bowl-mulleted auteur as the hunky lead. THRILL! as Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley try to unravel the ancient mysteries of who these people are, and what the heck they are doing. And what’s up with those mutants?! If the leaden, awful dialogue doesn’t get you, the incomprehensible editing certainly will, and it’s all on (audio) display on the latest NO-BUDGE...

EPISODE 24: BLOOD CULT (1985)

October 08, 2012 19:48 - 110 MB

Pull out your cleaver and slap on some greasepaint, because it’s time to dive headfirst into 1985′s BLOOD CULT, which is notable as (not quite) the first straight-to-video feature film – and not notable for anything else! Featuring a septuagenarian hero, DOG MURDER, exciting driving music, DUMMY MURDER, and the geekiest love interest since REVENGE OF THE NERDS, BLOOD CULT is a nasty bit of video violence; and is greedily lapped up by your hosts Moe Porne and Doug “Sweetback” Tilley. We make l...

EPISODE 23: ROCK N ROLL SPACE PATROL ACTION IS GO! (1995)

September 21, 2012 19:43 - 19.8 MB

Grab your laser gun and surprisingly large communicator pack, this week NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARE is featuring the 2005 Troma-distributed sci-fi comedy ROCK N ROLL SPACE PATROL ACTION IS GO! Featuring one of the most BIZARRE endings in low-budget cinema history, and plenty of goofball antics, your intrepid (and SEXY) hosts do battle with the villainous DR. SPIDER JONES while tackling the mysteries of temporal ninjas, RED ARROWS and much, much more. It’s as much fun as can possibly be squeezed into ...

EPISODE 22: ANTFARM DICKHOLE (2011)

September 06, 2012 19:38 - 42.8 MB

Antfarms! Dickholes! They go together like peanut butter and chocolate, and are FINALLY brought together in Bill Zebub’s WTF bizarro no-budget opus ANTFARM DICKHOLE. Featuring: Wedgies! Ants! Dickholes! Bikinis! Rampant nudity! Wang bananas! And ANT-EATER ACTION. Moe Porne and Doug Tilley WATCHED the damn thing, and now you’re going to listen to them stumble and sigh their way through talking about it. LISTEN TWICE! IT COSTS THE SAME!

EPISODE 21: ZOMBIE RAMPAGE

August 26, 2012 19:33 - 35.6 MB

Zombies. Zombies? ZOMBIES! Yes, the immortal TODD SHEETS is back on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES, and this time our intrepid hosts are dumpster diving into his 1989 debut ZOMBIE RAMPAGE. It’s his goopiest, craziest and – oddly – most impressive feature, even if much of it MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL. You’ll never wash the stink off yourself, so you might as well get down with the hosts with the most(s). ENJOY.

EPISODE 20: VAMPIRE HUNTER (1997)

July 26, 2012 19:20 - 44.8 MB

Grab your cross, garlic, machetes, throwing stars, and AIR BRUSHED TITTIES as this week on the NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES podcast we’re covering Sean Gallimore’s ridiculous action/horror film VAMPIRE HUNTER. Packed to the gills with martial arts action and incomprehensible dialogue, Moe and I get DOWN AND DIRTY with the Hunter, and its bizarre, ultra-90s theme song. The power of Christ COMPELS YOU to listen!

EPISODE 19: SUBURBAN SASQUATCH (2004)

July 13, 2012 22:09 - 68.6 MB

I’ve seen fire, and I’ve seen rain, and I’ve seen a Sasquatch with drawn-on abs and big ol’ boobs! That’s right, this week on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES is the modern low-budget classic SUBURBAN SASQUATCH from director Dave Wascavage! COWER in terror as Bigfoot severs limbs, drinks blood and growls confusingly. We love it, and you’ll love it too!

EPISODE 18: THE HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER MEETS THE SKID-ROW SLASHER (1979)

June 16, 2012 21:59 - 79.8 MB

HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE! This week NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES brings you a tender aw-shucks meeting between a demented HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER and the murderous SKID-ROW SLASHER as directed (sorta) by the legendary Ray Dennis Steckler. Who likes bums? We got ‘em! Both literally and figuratively! It’s tons ‘o fun and chock full ‘o nuts, so grab your switchblade and start rambling on and on and on.. because we’re about to get sleazy.

EPISODE 17: ROBOT NINJA (1989)

June 01, 2012 21:41 - 99.2 MB

He’s a NINJA! But.. also a ROBOT. Actually, ROBOT NINJA doesn’t really feature a robot or a ninja, but it *does* contain a sociopath comic book writer inadvertently causing the death of many innocent people. It also has face stabbings, head stabbing, stomach stabbings and BODY MODS. But that’s not all! How about a little BURT WARD? How does that sound? J.R. Bookwalter followed his classic THE DEAD NEXT DOOR with this nuttiness, and MOE PORNE and DOUG “SWEETBACK” TILLEY are here to reap the re...

EPISODE 16: DEATH METAL ZOMBIES (1995)

May 06, 2012 21:13 - 24.4 MB

Yes, after a brief, dramatic interlude your hosts Doug “Sweetback” Tilley and Moe Porne have returned to explore the depths and heights of ultra-low-low-low budget cinema. This week we cleanse our palate with Todd Jason Cook’s 1995 zombie opus DEATH METAL ZOMBIES, featuring choreographed head-banging, gut-munching, UNFORTUNATE UNDERWEAR and lots and lots of DEATH METAL. Shengar commands you to listen!!

EPISODE 15: GORNO – AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY (2004)

April 18, 2012 20:59 - 35.1 MB

HIP HOP LOCOS. BARELY LEGAL LESBIAN VAMPIRES. THE SUMMER OF THE MASSACRE. We’ve talked about plenty of terrible, no-good, very bad films here on NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES, but GORNO: AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY might very well trump them all. A sickeningly pretentious attempt at aping the “teenage debauchery” sub-genre dominated by Larry Clark and Harmony Korine, it uses film as a blunt object in which to hammer its audience into submission. And it sucks. Terribly. This is a very special ANGRY episode, wh...

EPISODE 14: SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH (1991)

April 12, 2012 20:42 - 41.8 MB

Ah, Todd Sheets. So we meet again. NIGHTMARE ASYLUM pushed us to our limits, but that was a cake-walk compared to the BLOOD-CURDLING TERROR present in SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH. Who likes incomprehensible dialogue? How about acting that would be booed off the stage at a kindergarten play? We’ve got crotchety old men and a bevy of ladies in mom jean-shorts and bulky, early 90s sweaters! We’ve got eyeball tricks, wooden stake-fu and a plot that only runs 69 minutes and *still...

EPISODE 13: HUMAN BEHAVIOR (2006)

March 21, 2012 20:35 - 35.1 MB

“There’s definitely no logic/To human behavior” – Bjork, “Human Behavior” Take a dash of murder mystery, a pinch of psychological thriller, and a twist of, um, a twist and you have 2001′s HUMAN BEHAVIOR starring a cast of people you never heard of trapped in an infinite loop of plot explanation. The lovely and talented Moe and I dissect the slow-moving 72 minute ode-to-crazy, and manage to fit a few compliments in between bursts of sardonic wit and fart jokes. It ends with my most homoerotic...

EPISODE 12: KILL THEM AND EAT THEM (2003)

March 08, 2012 20:30 - 33.9 MB

On this week’s No-Budget Nightmares podcast we look at the 2003 Canadian gonzo mutant film KILL THEM AND EAT THEM. Despite my sympathetic nature, and respect for the ambition of the filmmakers, eventually the whole thing just devolves into a big pile of unpleasant goo. And not the good kind. Will out sanity hold out? Or, will I be babbling about WAR HORSE by the end? (Spoiler: it’s the latter). Join Moe Porne and myself as we dive in headfirst, and emerge forever changed.

EPISODE 11: REDNECK COUNTY FEVER (199?)

February 23, 2012 20:31 - 24.8 MB

Why does this exist? It’s a question I asked myself over and over while I was watching REDNECK COUNTY FEVER; an oddity from (possibly) the early 90s that constantly makes you wonder how it came into being. What could have possessed a group of (presumably) right thinking individuals to give up their time and money to produce something that appears to have no discernible purpose? It’s ostensibly a light comedy featuring two Bill & Ted-like misfits (except played by people obviously in their 30...

EPISODE 10: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS – FALL OF THE ORIGINAL SIX (2007)

February 09, 2012 20:23 - 50.6 MB

And now for something completely different. This week’s No-Budget Nightmare was filmed between May and October 2006 in Peterborough, Ontario, Canada. It was written by Sean Bruce, Dan Kildey, and SWEETBACK. It had torture, explosions, gore, a ventriloquist dummy, pornography, jello, and Canadian Content. And – in the end – it was a bad movie. Yes, I was involved in the creation of a bad, no-budget movie. A No-Budget Nightmare, if you will. While I didn’t direct the film, I was part of the...

EPISODE 9: TERROR TOONS (2002)

January 26, 2012 01:17 - 55.6 MB

On this week’s Daily Grindhouse Presents – No-Budget Nightmares, Daily Grindhouse contributors Moe and Sweetback discuss Joe Castro’s 2002 ultraviolent comedy TERROR TOONS. There’s Rage Against The Machine lyrics, misogyny, and a mean streak a mile wide. If you like your cartoons unpleasant and – somehow – live action, this is the podcast for you. And, yes, Satan himself shows up.

EPISODE 8: SO MORT IT BE (2004)

January 16, 2012 01:16 - 44.8 MB

On this week’s Daily Grindhouse Presents – No-Budget Nightmares, Daily Grindhouse contributors Moe and Sweetback discuss Fabian Rush’s 2004 horror-comedy SO MORT IT BE. If you have a hankering for mutant rat worms, bodily dismemberment, TERRIBLE bluescreen, and a fistful of silliness, you’ll certainly enjoy yourself. Keep listening for the recordings final twenty minutes where the hosts slowly start to lose their minds – recorded for your listening pleasure.

EPISODE 7: DUCK! THE CARBINE HIGH MASSACRE (1999)

December 30, 2011 20:06 - 43.6 MB

On April 20, 1999 students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 of their fellow students (as well as a teacher) at Columbine High School in Colorado before committing suicide. The incident traumatized an entire nation, and in the wake there was a flurry of media attention, often looking to point the finger at a cause – or series of causes – for what ended up being referred to (in typical media fashion) as the “Columbine Incident”. There was plenty of blame to go around, but it was the pop...

EPISODE 6: BARELY LEGAL LESBIAN VAMPIRES (1999)

December 15, 2011 20:02 - 47.2 MB

And now for something completely shitty. Part softcore vampire flick with sub-porno production and part jerk-off “tribute” to Ed Wood, BARELY LEGAL LESBIAN VAMPIRES is an insult to anyone expecting even a minimum amount of entertainment value out of low-budget filmmaking. The promise of nubile young goths is thwarted by a cavalcade of dried up strippers who appear to be pushing 40, stumbling through about twenty minutes of plot peppered by endless, unsexy love scenes between people who often...

EPISODE 5: NIGHTMARE ASYLUM (1992)

November 18, 2011 20:00 - 76.5 MB

If you have any interest in no-budget film-making, you really must be aware of Todd Sheets – one of the godfathers of the entire shot-on-video genre. In just 15 short years (between 1985 and 2000) Sheets directed over 30 films, almost entirely horror films with excessive gore, grade-school play acting and a generally weak grasp of editing, shot composition and Mise en scène. Yeah, his films range from despicable to watchable, but they are also absolutely unique and fascinating specimens. The ...

EPISODE 4: LAS VEGAS BLOODBATH (1989)

November 18, 2011 19:48 - 82.6 MB

Feedback is appreciated. I apologize for my opinions on daytime whores, hot oil wrestlers, the quality of Nevada pizza, using the word “‘za”, and for swearing so much. Sorry, mom.

EPISODE 3: THE SUMMER OF THE MASSACRE (2006)

November 02, 2011 19:41 - 71.2 MB

Well, this is just terrible. A bafflingly misguided “tribute” to the grimy horror films of the 70s – most notably THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE – this British shot-on-video horror film starts out awful before eventually grinding down to reprehensibly boring, lost in a sea of improvised conversations and endless, style-less chase scenes. Not only does director Bryn Hammond have the writing skill of a four year old – ably demonstrated by the multitude of confusing, near-unreadable title cards at ...

EPISODE 2: SCARLET FRY’S JUNKFOOD HORRORFEST (2007)

October 19, 2011 19:30 - 75.8 MB

HELLO! I'm writing this WELL into the future. Enjoy this CLASSIC(?) episode of No-Budget Nightmares featuring a movie that Moe and Doug both despised - and continue to! Memorable quote: "You know every relationship has it's problems. Take my wife for example, she used to drive me up the motherf*chin wall until I knocked her into the well…I tried to save her….OH WELL"

EPISODE 1: HIP-HOP LOCOS (2001)

October 05, 2011 18:42 - 42.4 MB

On the evening of Feb. 20, 2001, two latino rappers committed a murderous crime spree and filmed everything they did on a digital video camera. They had a plan to rob drug dealers for their cocaine, sell it and use the money to record a hip hop album rapping about their crimes. This footage was taken directly from their hidden camera, along with other footage obtained from various surveillance cameras. This is what actually occurred on that shocking evening.