023 Do Over Life, Grief Recovery with Matt Mcspaden

Matthew McSpadden is LymeVoice.com’s 023 Podcast Episode’s guest. The big hearted man behind DoOverLife with Grief talks with Sarah and Aaron about overcoming grief, his grief that at one time had him contained in a tight spot, which made him feel helpless and totally lost. He was thankful for that particular grief though, and for it to had come at that particular period. It made him what he is today; stronger, wiser and more warmhearted towards those who matter in his life and he is loving the kind of person he has become. His grief was caused by traumas which made him a fighter and he thinks it made him a socially appropriate person too. His experience made him discover that saying the right words at the right time can mean so much in nudging a person to acknowledge or rather to recognize their grief, support their healing process and affirm them in their recovery. It made him magnanimous with words of encouragement and he is working hard on bringing that to a worthier level with his up and coming Episode Podcasts at DOOVERLIFE. He was a Math teacher in a Public School and his grief and traumas had impacted his profession greatly. He lost it, together with a few of his dreams. However he is making sure by working hard on his ongoing overcoming grief mission that he wins what he had lost back.

What’s in this episode:

Matthew’s Griefs - Gaining Disability, Losing Disability

Matthew’s trauma was not caused by disease and not by Lyme at any length, but by physical and emotional misfortunes; the physical one was unintentional; a near fatal stroke 2 years after he lost his brother while he was playing football. And then after that he faced another one. It was an emotional trauma that could have been the end result of the underlying physical distresses he was experiencing at that time caused by his stroke. His divorce at a very young age was a major emotional upheaval which made everything cave in for him. He lost all interest with everything that’s going on around him and in his life.

Like any person who had gone through grief Matt had also fallen into the throes of depression. Not the suicidal type, but more of the “I lost interest with anything that’s going on in my life” kind. There were so much going on inside him, physically, emotionally and psychologically that he found small talk at gatherings of friends or family distasteful. What he badly wanted then to hear were some sympathetic words that will help him to properly place everything into context or label his confusions. But it were not so.

Then something woke him up from his stupor and made him reach out to his loved ones. It was in kind an indirect plea for help. He was glad those people in his life who had remained by his side all through his ordeal were mindful enough of his welfare. They promptly acted and had saved him from totally going over. He was glad it was not too late when final realization came. That no one is going to help him get out from the hellhole he was slowly burrowing into but himself. There was a kind of trigger occurrence that brought about that most opportune jolt. It partially ended his FIGHT story.

Learning To Rise Above His Grief

Everything happened for some reasons and, he had recovered and had risen up from the morass for a few reasons of his own too. And he knows just as traumas and grief differ in severity and causes; reasons for healing and recovering from grief and trauma also varies. He is for people to seek what can make them fight and seek out healing themselves because what works with somebody might not work with them at all. His was reading self-help books, and it reinforced what he personally know. That not everybody could rise above situations all by themselves, they need help. He wants to share some personally learned insights on how; like seek a dream support team and then ultimately find their key to happiness. People or a person that can become the light that will subdue all the darkness slowly encasing them.

And that’s the entirety of what he wants to impart, to those who are fully capable of providing help. Be available for loved ones who are going through traumas; physical, emotional and psychological. Be there not to give advice and reassurances that everything is okay but to listen and inspire grieving persons to fight and become totally positive in everything. Spark their interest to find a way in every interaction to become positive; be it a one on one encounter or with a crowd. And definitely they to will make it through the storm, just as he himself find his HEAL.

Those without your pain rarely understand your goals.

Mike Murdock

Proactive approaches to healing; physically and psychologically. For emotionally he had already found his solace, the reason that ended his feeling of loss. He found a new love and that’s what’s inspiring him to continue what he had started and LIVE his kind of new normal. There are still moments he can lose track of his thoughts and ideas when writing but he can follow his thoughts easily when he speaks. He was frustrated when he lost control of his brain and don’t know the reasons why. He is relentless in finding ways to recoup what he had lost by his stroke, but he also know he has limitations.

His website is what occupies most of his days today and one of the main reasons that stimulates him to fight some more. He has found out that a podcast can be the proper venue for his newfound talent, to replace the one he had lost. He has found additional people to add to his dream team through his podcast endeavors. The ones he know he can count on to come to his rescue when he is slipping. And all these good things and positive force he found, he wants to also impact other depressed persons’ lives. He wants to empower grieving people to be strong enough to share their stories. And provide opportunity to their loved ones and other people close to them to get a glimpse of their inner turmoil. So these people can be a constant anchor for them just like Matt’s dream team.

He plans to elaborate on his story, with a book he is thingking of publishing. And he wants to impart what he had learned with his ordeal in dealing with grief through his coaching offer at his website. “Keep listening to podcasts like LymeVoice because it’s in that listening that we can become powerful again.” was Matthew’s parting shot as this episode is closing. Today he continues living and finding happiness within his kind of normal and he still has interesting anecdotes to share about his LIVE story. He is leaving us a favorite Quote, the one that inspires him every day:

Win the day!

Hugh Freeze – Football Coach

 

You can go and see how you can contact him for his coaching offer to his Website: http://www.dooverlife.com/grief/ His Contact email: [email protected] His Twitter: @mcspaddenmatt Sarah Schlichte Sanchez(Facebook) https://www.facebook.com/sarah.s.sanchez.1 Aaron Sanchez   https://www.facebook.com/aaron.sanchez.9480111?fref=ts

 

Resources Mentioned

Carol Dweck “Mindset”

Anthony Robbins “Awaken the Giant Within”

Viktor E. Frankl “Man’s Search For Meaning”

John Maxwell “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently”

Udemy Course Grief Recovery: https://www.udemy.com/courses/