328: Olivia A. revisits

🔸 I suck, you're pathetic, they're careless.

🔹 Parts:

Wanting to be able to accept sadness and discomfort, Possibly related to need to:
Needs to be cool, always have a comeback. Wants to stop caring
E: Preschool. Part of me feels judged and unworthy. Everyone can see I'mm pathetic. They don’t have thin skin so i suck if I do

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

That was a tough one for me. I told Olivia I had a stomach ache. It kept me squirming, distracted.

The targeting felt more like tumbling. It sounded to me like she was 25% more blended/distracted, and I was 25% less available than usual. Felt a lot of parts with an agenda, we weren't stopping to get to know them, so I had a kinda "walk the plank" feeling. Only at the end when she said "sorrow" did I start to relax and trust her Self had arrived.

But I know how much parts-work Olivia is doing, and in the big picture I'm confident, that's why I kept handing it back to her. In a way I feel like we're well beyond "here's how to do parts work" and, if I'm a music teacher, she's a student who is proficient/learning on her own, advancing on her own, and our meetings are more "let me hear your latest jam".

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