Mistakes (or missed opportunities) that we regret and how to avoid it, never change who you are, why we play worst-case scenario in our heads, face your situations head-on

Brodie's in the house today! He gives an introduction, talks a little about the new addition to his family, why we've both escaped the Midwest (but he's back!).

Why we always gravitate to the worst-case scenario in our heads, never give up who you are - your values and goals - for anyone, people doing things they love and bucking the trend, death and taxes, facing scary things and why not to run away. We also talk about relationships and friendships and how it can influence you. And honesty in your relationships.

hey, everyone welcome to a Life Next Level podcast. We got our friend brody in the house today. I know he was on another episode, but today it's just he and I, so I figured he could get just a really brief introduction um before he does, I would want to congratulate him on his, his new addition to the family. So tell him a little bit about yourself. Tell him a little bit about the new edition and then we'll get going. 

Sure thing. Thanks. J uh my name is brody. I am uh Minneapolis, uh resident. So I know you j what's sad about that man is that you actually got out of that weather for a while and then you chose to move back? I did, you know, I mean, I grew up in Wisconsin and uh I went as far away from Wisconsin. He could possibly get, I figured that out after I went there SAn Diego. After after I graduated from college, I moved out to san Diego. And uh, there for, I spent my twenties there, you know, escaping the winter and somehow it pulls you back then. Yeah, you're right. I since then we've lived in Boulder colorado for a couple years in Miami for a year, so we've been uh, escaping as much as we can, but always coming back, always coming back. Hey, there's something about midwest, nice man, people are just great. There is, yeah, it's uh good people, you know, I think the weather makes you hardie, you really, you kind of, there's something about the suck, you know, that makes you appreciate the, the sweet, you know, you gotta get, get sucker punched in the winter and then a 50 50 degree day feels like the best thing in your life, right? 

It's true. I was just having a conversation, so I'm in Arizona now and I was just having a conversation with someone here the other night. I was out for a social happy hour and we were talking about the weather and I was like, you know, so you know I've lived in Hawaii for the last five years, I've been in Hawaii Thailand and now Arizona, I go back to visit but whatever and I just turned into a cold wind. I remember the days of after winter it will be 445° one day and it was like shorts and t shirt weather. Now now here in Arizona it's like 60 I'm like I need a I need a jacket or hoodie. 

Uh what they say that your your blood gets thin, right? Um But yeah continue on. Um We have a brand new baby boy that we just welcome into this world, three weeks old at this point. And that has been uh very much occupying my time trying to figure out that that little human being. I mean the most incredible they tell you it's they tell you it's the most incredible thing in the world and you kind of conceptualize that you get it until it happens, man. It's like, yeah, I have not been in that in that situation, but I can't I you're right, I understand what people are saying, but I I know I have no idea. Yeah, yeah. And what's really kind of scared me. It's almost uh uh I mean it seems like a bad thing, but I almost started going through my head like thinking of all these worst case scenarios that could happen, you know that it's not just the joy part. It's like, oh my God, if he fell if this or that, like it's just that and that scares the death. I mean like no, it's it's that's that's how we, it's funny because in this podcast and some of the stuff that are at, I talked about that all the time and not necessarily with Children, but just us in our brains, we always gravitate towards the worst case scenario and it just consumes us, you know, for sure. Um, that's no exception in this case. 

Well, that's why I'm obviously, but Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, just just, and I don't know your wife too well, I think I met her once or twice, but um, I don't know her too well, but I know I know you and you're gonna make a fantastic father and everything. I know and I heard from your wife, I know she's going to make a good mother. So glad everyone happy and healthy and all is well there, man. 

Thanks. I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm really glad that you were able to find the time to join tonight. So that's great. You know, happy to be here. I told my wife she said, yeah, definitely jump. Cool. I really, 

I was sitting there and I know typically, well I say typically we've only done a few of these happy hour episodes, but you know, we have a couple of other people that will join us eric and super but super slammed at work lately and eric has an audition for which I want to talk to him about more on this podcast about his voice voice recordings. Like he's on a couple nationwide commercials and stuff, which is really cool. A company nationwide. 

But yeah, a goes one and I can't remember a story, a storage shed one or something. And yeah, so now he has another audition. So good for him. I think a great thing, especially correlating to this show or to your business here too is falling at your dreams type thing. Like he's not one to shy away from talking about it, you know, but talk about actually going and doing something that you love and you yeah, been bucking the traditional business or you know, work system, doing something you really love to do that. 

That's awesome. Oh yeah. It's funny because he got into that right when I moved to Hawaii and I was just so jealous. I was like, man, I would have done that with him. That's just such a, I would have never even thought to do that. So he went into voice acting lessons and now he's just, he has like an agent. It's, it's almost like Hollywood but in a different capacity. It's really cool. Yeah, it's incredible. I would love to do something like that, it's just like who would have started that, you know, and then people think about it and to your point about chasing your dreams, people think about it and then it's just like yeah, I would love to do that and then it just kind of slowly fades away. How reality 

Yeah right, no way I can do that, I'm trying to do more and I didn't work, yep. 

Exactly man, so super cool, well well appreciate you being here brody. Um so our topic today is is going to be, it's just something to give the audience a little bit because I get asked the question about, you know, what are your, In fact I was I got to ask this question the other night I met I met I was out for a happy hour and I met at father and son and and other than his first question was, what's the best advice you can give me? His son was asking me this. It was really interesting that his son was probably like, Uh, you know, 1920, I think just going to college and you're like, you're like, how much time you got here? Yeah, no, you're right. I was like, well I have this and then I have this, those are my two. And then we have getting further discussions and like, you know what? There's another piece of advice, There's three and I just kept going, but it was very interesting, so I get asked questions like that quite a bit. And one of them that that I got asked was what's like, what's something you've done in your past? And I'm paraphrasing here, but what's something you've done in your past that maybe you regret, or something that you can help me to avoid? And so the way I'm saying it is what we're going to talk about is like a silly mistake or something that we've made in the past, or even avoided in the past. That that could help our audience to avoid that mistake in the future. Uh, and I'm going to turn it over to you if that's all right man, to start it out. 

Yeah, I can start out thinking about this. You know, I mean, there's a million things that I could probably go after, especially like a little silly, but, you know, I think something that that's probably partners and and this problem, it's released everybody. There's uh one of the two things are are factual or true for everybody is death and taxes. Right? So I'll talk about the taxes part. You know, I think if there's one thing that I wish that there was at one point in my life, I I let the let the tax slide you know? And uh I was with, I had a little business and had a company that helped me out to try to get really aggressive and got audited. I just buried my head in the sand, was freaking out like thinking it was gonna be the biggest, uh I don't know the biggest scandal was going to jail or something you like just something crazy and I didn't do anything wrong. I just you know he was trying to get too aggressive and uh I had my financial advisor at the time he said he said brody, you just gotta, you gotta get over yourself dude, you are you mean zero to these people, like you are such a small little fish like in this huge ocean, like nobody gives a shit about you, get over it, man up and just face it. And because I was, I was burying my head and saying I wasn't calling these people back and uh you know, more than anything, I think just the stress that I went through with that, I mean stuff is going to happen like that you're just going to going to face some scary stuff, It just suck out, man up and face it and and tackle it. Its chances are it's just not anywhere close to the monster you build up in your head, which it wasn't So, you know, I think that's my biggest piece of advice. Just I mean that's great overall investment because I run into it even on small things that I just, that I just don't want to face the situation and and sure it, you know, it's like some of them, some of them are small. You don't want to face a friend because this happened or you know, you had maybe a little little argument or something and you're like, but the fact is it just weighs on your mind. But what you do is is you try to like dance around, you don't want to have anything to do with it. You don't confront it and then it just weighs on your mind and weighs on your mind. And at the end of the day, it's never as bad as again going back to our earlier conversation, worst case scenario. We love to play that game of worst case scenario. And that's what's in her head like, oh my God, I'm going to get audited for your example. I'm gonna get in trouble. Like, oh and uh even me with taxes this year because you don't have a couple of small side hustle businesses going and I'm just like, it it's it's for to it for a different reason, it's overwhelming for me to think about like I don't even know where to start so I haven't done anything yet and I would be better off if I just did, you know? And that's the, that's the fact that every year I I do the same thing. It's like I dragged my feet in it, I don't want to do it, but what I know exactly, like every year the list is the same damn thing. Like you got to bring these things in and and somebody else is doing it for me and I just got to pull it together for some reason, it's just like dragging my feet, you know, when like could be so easily just taking care of. Yeah, I know I have to have a good friend who who along with me in my past, especially just avoid avoid, avoid situations, bad situations that work confrontation of any sort. And it would like, he just wouldn't show up to work if he had like a bad, like, like a confrontation and he had to do and he was, he's a uh, prominent in his, in his field, you know, and he has to have these conversations, but if it was gonna be bad, he just like, he would try to, you know, like get someone else to do it time and this is, you know, old him and I would do a lot of the same stuff. So yeah, it doesn't just go with taxes, but it's like sometimes you just have to face it and at the end of the day you're better off for it and you realize it wasn't as bad as you thought it was going to be. 

Um you know, I've had to I've had to let people go in corporate America and I hated it, especially if it's if it's their fault fine, like if they made a mistake, that's not harder. If they make mistake after mistake, and like it's like, hey you pull them aside and you're like, hey man, we have to let you go, this really isn't your strong suit, there's something better out there for you. Um You know, but it's when like the companies just like, no, we have to cut people and then, you know, you have to, and it was like I would sweat it and dread and it sucked, don't get me wrong, but it was never as bad as like I would I would I would have like three sleepless nights before it just, you know, nine years and it was like, it wasn't that bad. And I've even had them say j it's like because I would freak out more than they would freak out situation when I talk to them. You know, you and I are piecing upon that category. 

That's one of my worst. I mean, I'm I'm much better at not that I don't want to brag about being good about firing people, but uh but I'm much better at like, making that connection. And I also find to, like, and this is a major tangent here, but as long as the expectations have been set, like, it's it's not something that is blindsiding or, you know, you can you can you can really be straight with people and honest with them and show them ways that they can improve and yes, get into a better situation from here. Like, this is not working. So there's something else that that's for you, but yeah, I guess downsizing or stuff like that, that's a different scenario, but also the same tune, let's it's a little bit of ease with that too, like it is what it is. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. Um Yeah, that's absolutely true. 

Anything else on that before I go man? 

No, I think we we uh we definitely went over quite all good, all good. 

Um So one thing that I did in my past, and this was just just for the record, this was before before you knew me man, so it's not it's probably not what you're gonna be thinking of, or I know it wouldn't be with soup would be thinking of, but I at one point in my life and I'm not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, so just just hear me out, it's that I gave up um dreams I had for a girl and and you know, relationships are great in their heart, and you give up a lot for the for someone that's that's you know, truly like your quote unquote soul mate that you think may be, and um but don't give up who you are, and I just see so many people do that and it gets, you know, maybe it's even before they know who that who that they are, Um I honestly didn't really know who the hell I was. So I was like 30, if I'm being honest, I I was a different person at 30 than I was at 20, right? And so many people I know still were married and I bought a house somewhere at 20 years old, and and which is fine, but a lot of them, if I'm being honest, either aren't together anymore or don't have a great relationship because I think that, you know, you start to, you give up a lot to do that potentially. Um including careers or or doing some things that you want in life and you can kind of start to regret that and then blame the other person for it. And there's just a lot of stuff and I would give up a lot to be in a great relationship, don't get me wrong, but just never give up who you are, your values, your goals in life. 

And I think that's just so important. Um because it may seem like a good idea at the time. Yeah, Uncle. Yeah, I mean that's for sure. I mean, and I think that, you know, look, we're all we're all influenced by society or, you know, a woman or what, it's oftentimes it's not that person that wants you to change your perception of what you think that person wants that and you change yourself, right? So removing that whatever it is you think that they want, maybe even authentic conversation could be uh can help nip some of that stuff because that could be, you know, I've definitely we have, we're married and it's not always perfect, but you know, we we give ourselves a gift of conversations like let's talk to stuff through. We this is something I want to do and and you do not want me to do it or you know, like just like talking through and often times what you think was the reason uh they don't want you to do something that's totally not true. It's just totally different. Uh sometimes to like you just want to do something despite the other person to like really, I didn't really want to do that. I just wanted to do it to piss you off, you know? You know? And so I think I think getting to the true nature of what the what that is. But yeah, we're not great at communicating. 

So you're right there to transparency just being honest. We're just not very good at that, especially the the male of the species. Uh I wonder if I could point the finger at myself and you think, I think in knowing you, I think you're probably um the an exception to that rule. I think you're probably pretty good. 

I think I'm pretty good at making it make it look like I'm the exception. I am for sure not the exception. I what I what I just said they're like wanting to do something and I didn't I didn't think that I did it intentionally to piss them off. But then after I after I think on it, after I get a little break and looking back on my no way in hell it wouldn't do that. Like I didn't want to do that. I just wanted to do it to prove that I could do it or you know like cause a fight to claim my, you know, independence or something like that. 

Yeah, independence or or in a relationship there's, you know, fortunately or unfortunately there's that dominance factor that that you know, it's it's just natural in us. And so yeah and and I will say to that that I don't mean this only for relationships. I think that there are many reasons even friendships sometimes that that we will give up our values and things that we believe in or things that we really want. And then, and you know, it could be for um you know, I don't know, friendships, relationships, uh anything that makes you choose to give up your values, I think you have to think very, very hard about and and people do it far too easily I think. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I've definitely looking back yet, I've compromised my values for certain. Yeah. Yeah, me too. And I will say I'm a dating front though now that you know, I'm Frick Man 40, so um but it's crazy and I haven't exactly been in a long long term stable relationship. I've been moving around like crazy lately, but you know, I've been in a couple and I've just found it even when we break up or or don't last, we still remain friends because it's so much easier now because I just say this is what I'm looking for, this is who I am, I want to travel around, this is what and you just know like no matter you don't just get in, I don't know, you don't get infatuated with people just because of certain things. Even if they don't fit in what you want to do. That's that's a main point in any conversation I have about anybody that I could date or or be in a relationship with. And they have it too because I think once you hit a certain age, it's just like I'm not going to be happy unless I have this in my life, you know? Yeah, that's great. I think that that authenticity like early on it's pretty uh pretty cool that it is. Well man, we we uh We we talked on this topic for a while so that's about all the all the time we have for this episode, uh 15-20 minutes. So um that's about it for this one. So brody say CIA CIA and uh we're signing off. So thank you for listening and we'll see you next time on the Life Next Level podcast. See you.