Empowering VS. Enabling PT 2 (w/ Alicia Flowers & Erin Smalley)

We conclude todays conversation on the difference between empowering or enabling. Below is a list of things and notes from todays conversation

“10 Ways to be Certain your Pastoral Care is Helpful” by Brad Hambrick

Full Article is available at https://www.careleader.org/10-ways-certain-pastoral-care-helpful/

 1.     Avoid the rescuer mentality
2.     Don’t replace the legal system
3.     Know your role within your church or organization
4.     Never do what someone should do for themselves
5.     Create halfway steps
6.     Model a healthy life and relationship
7.     Know your limits
8.     Never allow team splitting to occur
9.     Don’t allow yourself to be motivated or manipulated by guilt
10.  Ask

 Ask yourself (or with a friend) the following questions:

 Which one do you struggle with the most? Why?What’s a next step you can take to overcome it?

 When guiding others, learn to ask yourself:

Is this a consequence from a choice they have made?If so, how can I continue to remind them that God is continuously with them? 

 When guiding others, remember "The 5 States of Change"

1.     Pre-Contemplation: The individual is not interested at this stage. You can’t make someone interested. They have to want it themselves.
2.     Contemplation: The person is wondering and questioning if they need to change. They don’t know completely, but they are at least thinking about it. At this stage, you still can’t fully provide any action steps because they aren’t ready.
3.     Preparation: This is the turnaround point. They are beginning to make a decision in which they realize they need to change.
4.     Action: At this stage, the individual is more internal than external. They are beginning to make a commitment and are attempting to try to do something about it.
5.     Maintenance: It’s one thing to start it, it’s another thing to maintain it. It’s important for us to not take things personal or get offended when someone relapses. This is why it’s important to know your own personal struggles and triggers. When you are triggered or struggling with your issue, you must know what you are going to do moving forward, instead of relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms that have occurred in the past. Learn to ask yourself and others, “What am I/you going to do, instead of relying on past unhealthy coping mechanisms?”

When serving others, learn to ask yourself:

Is this a consequence from a choice they have made?If so, how can I continue to remind them that God is continuously with them? 

 Next Steps

1.     Be Spirit Filled
2.     Be Spirit Led: Continued through ALL Steps
3.     Be Patient
4.     Identify your Intent: Am I doing this for them? Or Am I doing this for me?
5.     Identify your gifts, talents and personality type ( Read 1 Corinthians 12 and Romans 12)
6.     Identify your triggers, weaknesses and limits
7.     Admit your triggers, weaknesses and limits
8.     Surround yourself with and identify the people who are strong in your areas of weakness

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