Keeper Chat

129: Geoduck

January 26, 2021 13:49 - 49 minutes - 39.6 MB

Geoduck? More like geoyuck! (or geoyum ;) ) This abomination is the subject of many exasperated sighs, intermittent revulsion, and general body horror. Come learn about it, won't you? We answer your questions like: Where the heck is this thing located so we can avoid it? Why on earth are people eating it and even more importantly why is it crunchy?? How is this a clam and how has the rest of Class Bivalvia not kicked it to the curb? What is broadcast spawning? And is this the by product ...

128: Puffin

January 19, 2021 13:50 - 1 hour - 54.6 MB

Lil puffin boy! It is your time to shine. However, we are already onto your Illuminati ways. Did you know, there are three species of puffin?! All three are very cute, and possibly working to steal the declaration of independence. Are puffins related to penguins? How do puffins feed their chicks? Where are puffin found? Does their body hold a lot of secrets? What do puffins have to do with monks? Can puffins use tools? Did you know there are puffins in Star Wars?

127: Mandrill

January 12, 2021 13:55 - 1 hour - 59 MB

Time to get wild with the largest monkey in the world! This big beautiful primate is sporting the coolest makeup in town and is on that ultimate clown couture level. Beep beep! Heads up, this intro is CHATTY. So don't be upset when we screech for the first 15 min :) We answer questions like: What's the difference between mandrills and baboons? Was Rafiki a mandrill? What on EARTH is going on with their faces....and genitals? How can each of us mitigate deforestation and help the mand...

126: Bobbit Worm

January 05, 2021 13:50 - 57 minutes - 45.6 MB

If we don't pick your suggestion, try try again. It's 2021, it's worm time. Settle in and learn about a benthic worm that lives in some ocean somewhere. How many eyes do bobbit worms have? How big can they get, and how do you even verify that anyway? How do they make love? Is it creepy? What came first, rainbow road, or bobbit worms? How does the bobbit worm eat? Will it eat off my leg? What does this animal have to do with an assault case of the 90s?

125: Snowy owl

December 29, 2020 13:55 - 59 minutes - 48.1 MB

What better animal to discuss in the dead of winter, than the Snowy owl? This feathered friend thrives in the cold tundra and can teach us a few things about being *cool* Throw on a parka and learn answers to questions such as: How does the snowy owl's visual acuity compare to humans? What is kleptoparasitism? How do they stay warm in such frigid temperatures? What are owl pellets and do they make nice presents? and When will Hedwig get the justice she deserves?

124: Hooded Seal

December 22, 2020 13:50 - 56 minutes - 45.8 MB

It's December, and we have BIG life changing news! Woohoo! But let's also talk icy cold animals, baby! This guy is very strange. Think Pennywise the clown meets a seal. We learn a ton about the hooded seal including: Where are hooded seals found? What is the hood part of the seal? Is this a seal or a sea lion? Do they believe in God? What is going on with the lactation in this thing? How long can a hooded seal hold it's breath?

123: Kowari

December 15, 2020 13:49 - 1 hour - 55.6 MB

Whoa-oh here he comes, watch out boy he'll chew you up! Whoa-oh here he comes, he's a mouse-eater! This episode is all about the Kowari, a small Australia marsupial who will keep you guessing. We answer questions like: Why do Australian marsupials constantly throw us for a loop? How are the shape of his teeth conducive to a carnivorous diet? Is it pronounced gif or jif?? How big is he in relation to a school bus? And is this unit of measurement even remotely helpful?

122: Crayfish

December 08, 2020 14:56 - 57 minutes - 47 MB

Is he your Crawdaddy or your Crawpappy? Tune in to find out about this little decapod who can have a bunch of different jobs! We talk about all the names for crawfish. Where are they found? Where do yabby come in? Does a crayfish need water to breath? Would a crawdad be able to tell you if your beer sucks? What kind of things do mudbugs taste good with?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 24

December 01, 2020 14:00 - 31 minutes - 22 MB

Welcome to another Quick & Dirty, where we answer listened-submitted questions and use our combined brain cell to try our very best to provide a single ounce of wisdom! This week, we help a listener find ways to improve their resume during a global pandemic and answer some wild Would You Rathers. Everyone whip your resumes and get ready for some *~*professional*~* development. We answer: Do you guys have any advice for college students on how to continue to gain experience while COVID is g...

121: Platypus

November 24, 2020 13:55 - 1 hour - 58.3 MB

Hello! Happy Turkey Day week. Please fist all your turkeys responsibly. Join us as we learn about Daddy Darwin's mid-life crisis, the platypus. What is GOING on??? We learn about things like: Where are platypus found? Why are they so strange? What kind of mammal is a platypus? Do they have an acceptable number of teats? Does anyone even know what a mole feels like? Are platypus venomous? If I twerk will they be able to find me?

120: Red fox

November 17, 2020 14:11 - 1 hour - 62.1 MB

Ready to ignite your loins? This week is all about the Red fox, and...we weren't ready. We answer your burning questions like: What is a supracaudal gland and why are animals always wiping it on stuff? Would a fox be a good roommate or would they just piss in the fridge? What is a copulatory tie? Why are foxes so prevalent throughout history? and Why are they so dang sexy?? Get ready for a sexual awakening, furrriends.

119: Bongo

November 10, 2020 13:55 - 1 hour - 52.6 MB

We discuss this large, kinda boring, antelope! Come hang out with us before we knew the results of the election and were still kinda losing our actual minds! We talk bongo facts which includes: How many teats should a human have. Do bongo have white chocolate drizzle? Are bongo craving the mineral? What even is an antelope.

118: Dumbo octopus

November 03, 2020 14:46 - 49 minutes - 43 MB

We all need more squishy cuteness in our lives, and who better to provide this than the dumbo octopus! With big ears, big eyes, and a squat bean bod, he is the ideal specimen. We learn answers to questions like: How did the dumbo octopus get its name? Is a kidney stone actually just a tooth? Why doesn't the dumbo octopus have a ink sac? Why does grimpoteuthis slap so hard? And will Avril Lavigne ever be a guest on our show? (YES PLEASE)

Quick & Dirty Ep: 23

October 27, 2020 16:38 - 31 minutes - 26 MB

Thanks Ethan and Max for this wonderful question. How do you cope with switching back and forth between internships and college? Sorry you assumed we can cope with anything, but thanks for writing in! If you have questions for your fav duo just shoot an email to [email protected]

117: Sawfish

October 20, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 56 MB

Spooky month continues with the man, the fish, the weapon. This week we learn all about the sawfish! Learn answers to burning questions, such as: What the heck are ampullae of Lorenzini and what the double heck do they have to do with the sawfish? What's going on with that knife on his face? How does being a euryhaline species allow the sawfish to live all over the world? Which came first, the sawfish or the saw? And what would you do with a saw strapped to your face? We also include a...

116: Bearded Vulture

October 13, 2020 14:21 - 1 hour - 54.8 MB

A bird with a beard! A bird who takes baths! A bird with cool stomach acid! Come learn about a neat species of vulture with us. We chat about things like: Where does the bearded vulture live? Has it ever killed a man? Where does it get its name? What exactly does the bearded vulture eat and why is it a spooky Halloween boy? How much money do I need to make to qualify a purchase of my own crag? Are bearded vulture really red in color?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 22

October 06, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 50.9 MB

Welcome to another Quick & Dirty, where it's time for more advice from your friendly neighborhood idiots! This week we discuss self-confidence in the field and working with varied feedback, as well as the difference in perception of interns and seasonal keepers. We also gush over ambassador animal keepers, the most powerful, friendly, and charismatic keepers out there! And as always, we answer Would You Rathers from our listeners, but this time they are spoooooooky!! Ooooooooo p.s. as al...

115: Zebra Shark

September 29, 2020 12:55 - 54 minutes - 43.7 MB

Shark boy! Does he have stripes like a zebra? Yes and no, but mostly no. But also, yes. Join us and listen to the rants and raves of your fav duo. We have a weird surprise in store so please tune in to learn more. We chat about things like: Where are zebra sharks found? What do they look like, what do they eat, what do they want to be when they grow up? Do they have facial hair? Are they solitary or not? Do they go to that one shark rave every year? Are men obsolete?

114: Naked mole rat

September 22, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 62 MB

Wrinkles? Yes. Naked? Yes. Kind of unnerving? Oh yes. This week we learn about the naked mole rat! An underground rodent that holds the secret to the fountain of youth, but is it worth it?? We answer questions like: What is eusociality and how does it function? Are they a mole and/or a rat? What American girl dolls would Flora and Fauna be? Just how much body horror is involved in this episode? WHY are naked mole rats resistant to poison and cancer damage?? And how well can you naked mol...

113: Sea Horse

September 14, 2020 22:44 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

Seabiscuit! We chat about the equine of the sea. It isn't a sea or a horse, so what is it? Just take five seconds to look at a seahorse swim and tell me this is a real, normal, acceptable thing?!? They are cryptids. We answer things like: How fast can a seahorse swim? Do male seahorses *really* give birth? Are seahorses monogamous and what's up with their courtship? Can we relate this back to Danny Devito? What does the human brain have to do with all of this?

112: Snow leopard

September 08, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 54.4 MB

Dreaming of cooler days and fluffy kitties - perfect time to learn about the snow leopard! This cold weather cutie is found in high elevations and high on our list of poofiest goofiest babes. We answer questions like: How on earth does this goofball keep from freezing to death? What would they order off the Skyline Chili menu? Are snow leopards considered big cats? How likely is it that a vampire named them? (hint: most definitely probably very likely) How good are Flora and Fauna at chu...

111: Shoebill

September 01, 2020 12:27 - 58 minutes - 47.9 MB

A big birb boy! A muppet with a ponytail! Join us in the lake behind Sesame Street and meet the Shoebill. Everyone says he is the scariest bird in the world, but that makes no sense and we are just mad about it. We talk things like: Where do shoebill live? Can a shoebill stick its spine out of it's throat? What do they eat? What's a super fun fact about shoebill? Is he a stork, a pelican, or something else? Are shoebill anymore evil than any other bird?

110: Marine Flatworm

August 25, 2020 13:00 - 49 minutes - 42.2 MB

Who doesn't love a worm? Particular a very small, very wet, very fragile one? This week, we investigate a tiny ocean man and get all up in his business. Whip out those microscopes and take a peep at this paper-thin pal. Join us and learn answers to your burning questions, like: how'd he get so thin? What's up with his butt, or lack thereof? How is he different from nudibranchs and sea slugs? Why ON EARTH does he have two penises? And why is penis fencing now a part of my search history?

Keeper Chat Trailer

August 22, 2020 15:32 - 1 minute - 1.37 MB

A quick and dirty trailer to play for friends and family to help spread the Grime Gospel!

109: Dugong

August 18, 2020 12:50 - 1 hour - 51.5 MB

Dugongidae is pretty fun to say so let's talk mermaids. This aquatic herbivore is very large and very different from manatees. Tune in to hear us put the Dugong song on blast because hey wow it had no correct information in it at all. Flora and Fauna talk about their secret tattoos and what their Kentucky Derby names would be. We answer stuff like: How well can a dugong kiss? Is a dugong related to dolphins? Aren't manatees the same thing? How much does a human brain weigh? How do you prono...

Quick & Dirty Ep: 21

August 11, 2020 13:00 - 56 minutes - 41.5 MB

It's time for another Quick & Dirty, where we answer questions we receive from our listeners! This week, we set aside our general bitterness and take a stroll down memory lane to relive some of the more heartwarming, exciting, and flat out INSANE experiences from our zoo careers. Take an inside look into Flora & Fauna's pasts, and learn plenty of dumb tidbits about your two favorite zookeepers! We answer: - Any advice for new keepers? - What is your favorite zoo memory?

108: Tuatara

August 04, 2020 12:50 - 1 hour - 50.5 MB

The beak headed baby godzilla that scooted its way into our hearts. He isn't a lizard!!! I'm not a monkey!!! Pay attention. This little man is going to blow your mind. We answer questions like: Wait, what, is the tuatara really not a lizard? Why is the tuatara the way that it is? Where can I find one? How many rows of teeth does he have. How many eyes does the tuatara have? What is going on with it's genitals. Is this finally about the illuminati? Why did it take so long to mention the ill...

107: Colobus monkey

July 28, 2020 13:00 - 58 minutes - 51.4 MB

This week we learn about the colobus monkey! This thumb-less monochromatic man had us asking questions like: why do they have a ruminant style digestive system? Is life harder without a thumb? Why are they considered holy in some parts of Africa? According to the colobus, what are the best ways to socialize with friends post-pandemic? And why do their babies look exactly like Voldemort? Join us to find out the answers to these questions, and more!

106: Pink Fairy Armadillo

July 21, 2020 12:51 - 55 minutes - 45.7 MB

A little man! We asked for something ugly and you delivered. Come learn about the smallest armadillo. Do we like it or hate it? The jury is still out. We both have worked with dillos in past and it didn't go that well. Also, we chat about some cool news about Rat Raves, stick around to the end to hear what's up. We answer questions like: Hey, what's a pink fairy armadillo? Is it just Donald Trump's wig come to life? Is it able to be defeated? What does the fairy armadillo eat? Why is it ...

105: Scorpion fly

July 14, 2020 13:00 - 54 minutes - 47.8 MB

This bug man is neither a scorpion or a fly...so what's up with that name? We answer those questions that keep you up at night, such as: Excuse me...what is a genital bulb? What would you present as your nuptial gift? Is Jennie Maria Arms actually a Spiderman villain? What does the scorpion fly have in common with Hannibal Lecter? (Hint: it's a lot) How does he play in to forensic entomology? And what do we have to do to earn our girl scout badge for cryptids? We talk Flora's roller-skat...

104: White Ibis

July 07, 2020 12:50 - 59 minutes - 49.9 MB

BIN CHICKEN time. This stupid thing. It's a white plague doctor looking bird. We chat about both the American White Ibis and the Australian White Ibis. We answer questions like: Why do Australian's gotta say weird stuff all the time? Were Flora and Fauna once conjoined twins? What's the difference between an Australian and American white ibis? Why do they call the ibis a bin chicken? Are they sinners or not?

103: Binturong

June 30, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 56.6 MB

How can it be Binturong, when it feels so Binturight? This week we learn all about this popcorn-smelling boy and answer some of your burning questions, like: Was Jacob from Twilight actually a binturong all along? What is up with guts? Why do binturongs smell like popcorn and does this mean they love movies? and Can I actually just poop in my garden though? Both Flora and Fauna's cats make special appearances. Yay?

Quick & Dirty Ep: 20

June 23, 2020 13:00 - 47 minutes - 36 MB

Welcome to another Quick & Dirty, where we answer questions we receive from our listeners! We talk life after zookeeping, how to live your best glowing life among the hAtErZ, some promising job prospects, and we answer some OUTRAGEOUS Would You Rathers. There are plenty of background cat sounds, cat lovers rejoice! We answer: - What point should someone move on from zookeeping? And how to navigate short-term vs long-term workplace issues? - How to leave keeping when it's such a special...

102: Leopard Seal

June 16, 2020 12:50 - 58 minutes - 47.9 MB

Let's finally talk about something that exists in Antarctica. Great idea, but why did it have to be Satan's son? Flora has feelings about wet boys that eat tuxedo boys. We answer questions like: What is a pinniped? What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion? How many krillion krill are there in the ocean? Do seals do the worm or can they walk on their flippers? Does the leopard seal need conservation help? Or should we just leave it to it's own devices since it has chosen a life o...

101: Sea Otter

June 09, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 56 MB

Take a deep dive into the ocean this week and learn about the Sea Otter! You all have been BUGGING us to do them so we HOPE it was WORTH the WAIT. We answer your tantalizing questions like: Do they really hold hands when they sleep? Are they the fluffiest animal in existence? Why are the males insane? What ON EARTH is spraint? Why can't I have an armpit pocket? and Are sea otters basically the dogs of the ocean?

100: Centipede

June 02, 2020 12:50 - 59 minutes - 49.6 MB

What else were we supposed to do for the big 100?! Filled with fun information and a confirmation that Flora hates these very much. We answer your burning bug facts like: How many legs do centipedes actually have? If locked in a room with a Nintendo Switch, would we eat it? What is the love life of a centipede even like? Does gravity have an effect on centipedes? Tune in to find out.

99: Diamondback Rattlesnake

May 26, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 58 MB

Sweet slamma jamma, check out this root tootin' man! We learn all about the Diamondback rattlesnake in this week's episode, and have the answers to all of your burning questions, like: What's the rattle made of and why do they have it? Who gave them permission to be SO GOOD at swimming? What that venom do? What should you do if you're bitten by a rattlesnake? Why should you avoid killing any rattlesnake you come across? and Is he just one big meat tube? This week we also have our first *lo...

98: Manta Ray

May 19, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 55.8 MB

A big beautiful ocean boy! We chat about the biggest ray in the world and how absolutely cool it is. We also chat about Jigsaw and some kind of evil batman. We answer your burning questions like: How big is a manta ray? Are mantas self aware? How many species of manta ray are there? What would Flora do for $5? When is length not length, but width? Does tourism have an affect on manta ray populations?

97: Ducks

May 12, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 59.9 MB

*Heads up, in this episode we discuss the sexual violence present within duck communities, so please listen with caution if this subject may be triggering for you. Discussion begins around the 36 minute mark and lasts until the 47 minute mark.* Duck the patriarchy! This week we take a stand with our waterfowl sisters and learn all about ducks (and a bit of their problematic nature). We answer questions like: Why do ducks waddle? Why should you avoid feeding them bread at the park? Why are t...

96: Elephant pt. 2

May 05, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 76.6 MB

Elephant continues with talk about intelligence, human/elephant conflict, and the entertainment industry. We answer questions like: Does an elephant recognize itself in a mirror? If I make an elephant do my math homework, will I pass? When was the term Jumbo coined? Did Edison electrocute an elephant? And, should elephants be in zoos?

95: Elephant pt. 1

April 28, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 65 MB

Get comfy, we chat about African and Asian elephants in part one of this mega episode. This part focuses on description, habitat, and general facts. We answer questions like: Do elephants cry? Do they want no scrub? How can you tell African and Asian elephants apart? How long are their genitals? Do they out bone us? Is there more goo inside a school bus or an elephant? What do elephants eat? Basically all the stuff that's been keeping you up at night!

94: Bombardier beetle

April 21, 2020 13:00 - 49 minutes - 42.6 MB

Mixing chemicals? In his butt?? It's more likely than you'd think! Slap on your PPE and join us as we learn about the bombardier beetle, a certified chemistry ace, as he shows us how to one up our enemies and gain some major street credit. We answer burning questions like: Will a bombardier beetle eat a leaf if offered one? Are they master chemists? Do bombardier beetles prove creationism is real? Or is that the dumbest thing ever? Is shooting liquid acid fire out of your butt the coolest? (...

93: Pitohui

April 14, 2020 13:00 - 51 minutes - 42.2 MB

He looks like a little Halloween Oreo but he tastes like a spicy meatball. This is some kinda bird? We answer questions like: What's a bird wave? Is Poison by Bell Biv Devoe one of the greatest songs ever? What are Flora & Fauna's favorite cookies? Can I lick this bird? Does a pitohui get it's poison from it's diet or something else?

92: Coconut Crab

April 07, 2020 13:00 - 55 minutes - 47.3 MB

The moment you've all been waiting for - It's crab time. Learn about this LARGE boy who has been framed for some crimes and maybe needs to go to jail for others. He big, he molt, he crab. What more is there to say? We answer questions like: Are coconut crabs left or right handed? Where do we draw the line between robbing and grocery shopping? Did coconut crabs eat Amelia Earhart? Are spermatophores nature's gushers? Is eating a live bird the world's worst crime?

91: Surinam Toad

March 31, 2020 12:56 - 1 hour - 50.6 MB

We are all frogs and only some of us are toads. But toads aren't really even a thing, it's just a frog. Anyway, anyone have Trypophopia because this is NOT made for you. Made for everyone but you, actually. We talk about things like: What is the difference between a frog and a toad? What do surinam toads eat? Have aliens visited Earth previously, and are they disguised as a toad? Why is it bad to fondle and molest amphibians? Why should you use vocal chords when you can rattle your hyoid...

90: Babirusa

March 24, 2020 13:00 - 51 minutes - 44.2 MB

Hope everyone is staying safe out there! What better way to take your mind off of the current state of things, than by learning about a big weird bald pig?? Join us as we argue at length over some weird teeth, discuss our zoo guest pet peeves, and identify gaps in Darwin's theory. Yee-haw

89: Arapaima

March 17, 2020 13:09 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

Everyone staying safe out there?? F&F are here to help you through the apocalypse! Join us as we learn about the arapaima, a BIG ol' fish who has the AUDACITY to breathe air. We try (and fail) to do math, chat Pokemon (what's new), and don't actually talk about this fish until 17 minutes in (yikes). This one's a real winner, folks.

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