Keeper Chat
254 episodes - English - Latest episode: 10 months ago - ★★★★★ - 196 ratingsTwo zookeepers talk weird animals. Informative, irreverent, and sometimes funny. Learn about animals in a way you never have before, with all the dirty details from two people who aren't afraid to call animals out on their junk.
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Episodes
168: Coral
January 18, 2022 13:48 - 1 hour - 60 MBIt's a plant! It's a rock! No ding dong, it's an animal. Buckle up and learn about this ocean friend. This week we tackle questions like: How can an animal reproduce both sexually and asexually? What's it like not having a butt? What's the difference between a polyp, colony, and reef? What ON EARTH are zooxanthellae and how do they help coral? and What can you do to help preserve coral reefs?
167: Brown Recluse
January 11, 2022 13:50 - 55 minutes - 46.2 MBSPIDERMAN. It's trending. If Peter Parker was bit by a brown recluse his super power would have been just his flesh rotting away. Way less interesting. We chat about where these spiders are located and if we should be afraid of them or not. Will a brown recluse hunt me down and bite me? Can I live with 2000 of them and be okay? Will I be able to identify them and will it even matter? Tune in for a bit of doctor patient roleplay and more!
166: Albatross
January 04, 2022 13:50 - 1 hour - 52.8 MBKicking off 2022 with a return to the Animals of the Internet! And starting off with the letter A....Albatross! Talk about a BIG BIRD, this man has the largest wingspan and could definitely dunk on Michael Jordan. Ever wanted to know about dynamic soaring and slope soaring? How about how albatross use their tubinares to measure airspeed in flight? What is philopatry and how does it relate to this bird's romance novel? The answers to this and many more available now!
165: Waterbuck
December 28, 2021 13:50 - 57 minutes - 47.2 MBEven. Toed. Ungulate. You love to see it. We chat about a really hefty creature. One that may or may not actually like spending time in the water. Who is to say? We learn things like: What do waterbuck eat? Are they serial killers? Why are waterbuck named that? How many ticks can a single waterbuck have? Why you wouldn't want to get a sniff of one, and more.
Quick & Dirty Ep: 33
December 21, 2021 14:01 - 36 minutes - 27.1 MBFestive advice for the festive season! If you're applying to be a zookeeper, this one is for you! We answer the question: what are some green flags to look for when applying for and interviewing for zookeeping jobs?
164: Hippopotamus
December 14, 2021 20:50 - 1 hour - 67.6 MBBeen a hot minute since we've covered megafauna - strap in for a big boy. Also, to learn more than you probably expected about Invisalign. We answer questions like: Are we the world's premier even-toed ungulate fans? What was Pablo Escabar doing and how did it involve hippos? Are pygmy hippos just baby hippos? (NO, duh) and What makes hippos one of the most dangerous animals on the planet?
163: Mimic octopus
December 07, 2021 14:04 - 48 minutes - 43.2 MBHaving one physical form is so last year. Why not disguise yourself as anyone and anything like the mimic octopus! We answer questions about this stealthy cephalopod, such as what kinds of sea creatures can it mimic? How does it adapt to specific predators? If an octopus were to do a split, what would that look like? How is their mimicry used in predation?
162: Blue Footed-Booby
November 30, 2021 13:50 - 48 minutes - 40.3 MBIt's about time we talk about the foot fetishists of the animal kingdom. How can anyone resist those sweet baby blues? We chat about the blue footed-booby. Where are they found? What makes the Blue Footed-Booby have blue feet? Do they have huge knockers or what? What does a female booby look for in a mate? Do the babies commit horrible atrocities?
161: Opossum
November 23, 2021 14:42 - 50 minutes - 43.5 MBWatch out, we got a waste management icon for you this week: the Opossum! Get answers to questions like: what does it mean to "play possum"? why are opossums so important for environmental cleanup? why are they such a mood? what fun marsupial qualities do they possess? and where can I get a pair of those fabulous fingerless gloves?
Quick & Dirty Ep: 32
November 09, 2021 14:00 - 37 minutes - 32.6 MBYou have more questions and we have more answers. A listener wants to know what happens when animals fight at the zoo? Do keepers intervene? Do we sit by the sidelines and let it happen? Is there anything we CAN do? Is there anything you can do? Tune in to find out. Also forgive us both for being on death's door in this episode. Getting old sucks, lol.
160: Loggerhead Shrike
November 02, 2021 13:00 - 51 minutes - 44.7 MBLet's all close our eyes and pretend it is still October. This was recorded in the spooky month so just live with it. Who is your favorite slasher? Freddy? Jason? The Loggerhead Shrike? If you ever wanted to impale a mouse than this is the guy to watch for tips. We chat about all things loggerhead shrike. What is a shrike? What does this have to do with Hannibal? Will you ever stop talking about Hannibal? Wait was this an ad for Hannibal all along? What do shrikes eat? What makes the hun...
Quick & Dirty Ep: 31
October 26, 2021 12:59 - 40 minutes - 36.2 MB*HOT TAKE ALERT* Flora and Fauna want all keepers to have safe and fair working conditions and to be paid a livable wage. RADICAL. In this episode, we discuss salary transparency in job postings, red flags in job interviews, the fallacy of competitive passion and its role in exploitation, and how to set healthy boundaries at work that prioritize personal well-being. You can be professional and promote animal welfare without working yourself to death, babe
159: Stargazer
October 19, 2021 12:55 - 43 minutes - 37.7 MBAtone for your sins, lest you end up a face on the bottom of the ocean. This week we learn about the stargazer fish, a true NIGHTMARE MAN. We answer questions like what is an ambush predator? what adaptations does the stargazer have to camouflage itself in the ocean floor? Why is he electric AND capable of envenomating bystanders? WHAT CRIMES DID HE COMMIT (we never actually answer this one, it haunts us still).
158: Leech
October 12, 2021 12:50 - 1 hour - 52.5 MBThey want to suck your blood! And you should let them, maybe? We continue the spookiest time of year with basically just an episode about vampires. This was what was inside Edward Cullen all along. We chat about things like: Where can I find a leech? Why is Illinois the pits? Who even wrote the bible? Can a leech hurt me? How much black bile should I have in my body? Is Pliny the Elder really smart or really dumb? How does a leech stay attached to a body? How much blood do leeches drink and...
157: Spider tailed horned viper
October 05, 2021 13:10 - 46 minutes - 41.4 MBHang up the fall foliage, bust out the hot chocolate, and throw a pumpkin on your head idk it's spooky season! This week we talk about snakes AND spiders - two for one, baby! We answer questions like: what was Darwin THINKING when he went off the Viperidae template with this one? Were caudal lures the origins of fishing? What would you have on your booty if you were trying to lure in a snack? Have you seen the new Venom movie? lol
156: Chinook Salmon
September 28, 2021 12:50 - 1 hour - 56 MBEveryone banded together to bring you...this salmon. A certified monster lover. Who doesn't love a shapeshifting fanged fish the size of a small man? We chat about: Where are Chinook salmon found? Why is their flesh pink? How do salmon know where to go to spawn? What is a salmon run like, and why is it horrific? Am I okay to eat salmon? If I had to choose to nut or die, what would I pick?
155: Dhole
September 21, 2021 12:55 - 58 minutes - 51.3 MBDid you think we were done talking about fox-adjacent creatures? Think again! This week, we learn all about the dhole and answer some questions like are these things related to wolves and is there an aLpHa?? what is the most purchased item at Wal-Mart? how many teats does a female dhole have? could you push one over if you needed to? And why did Rudyard Kipling have such huge beef with these animals? Heads up, there is an unholy amount of background noise in this episode, stemming fr...
154: Wattled Crane
September 14, 2021 12:50 - 47 minutes - 40.6 MBWee-woo wee-woo, the police are here, there is a carunkle alert issued for this episode. Please proceed with caution. We chat about things like: Who is booger anus? What that wattle do? Where are wattled cranes found and how many things are they the best at? What's a good plan to save the world, and why is it just the plot of Wall-E?
153: Sperm whale
September 07, 2021 12:50 - 1 hour - 53.4 MBHow have we never discussed this explicit whale. Anyways, call me Ishmael and let's get on with it. This week, we answer your questions about the sperm whale, such as why is it called a sperm whale? why do so many nautical terms have seemingly phallic/male (sus) connotations? what is spermaceti and is it related to spaghetti? what is a sperm whale's favorite food? and what the heck does My Hero Academia have anything to do with this?
152: Brazilian Treehopper
August 31, 2021 12:50 - 48 minutes - 42.3 MBIs it high fashion? Or is it just helicopter blades on top of a cicada? Come learn about the Brazilian Treehopper who doesn't do much but look weird and suck sap. I guess there are worse things in life. Learn things like: Where is the Brazilian Treehopper found? Does it live or want to live in Antarctica? How many species of this thing is out there? Does the treehopper's crazy style have a purpose?
Quick & Dirty Ep: 30
August 24, 2021 12:50 - 42 minutes - 35 MBWe answer a listener submitted question! Do we have any tips for working in weather!? Oh we do. We have experienced all weather events and seasons... and they all have their miserable moments. So what can you do to prepare yourself to be working in the weather that the weather-person says, don't go out in? Tune in to hear how to beat the heat and the cold, and how a trash bag is gonna be your best friend.
151: Desert Rain Frog
August 17, 2021 12:50 - 35 minutes - 30.3 MBYou don't even know you know, but you know. Come learn more about the living squeaky toy who is always down to throw hands. This lil frog isn't just a regular frog, he is a dry boy. Come learn about things like: Where are desert rain frogs found? How does small boy get with such big lady? Do frogs who live in a desert need a tadpole stage? Who really is god's favorite?
150: Wolf eel
August 10, 2021 12:55 - 1 hour - 54.6 MBDo you love tiny crevices, man lips, and crunchy foods? Well...then this guy is probably for you. This week we answer questions about the wolf eel, such as: is it an eel? Why do his teeth look like that? Does he have a rebellious teenage phase? How has the movie Ghost wormed its way into the wolf eel's life? What secret crimes has Sega committed? And what are some of Flora and Fauna's favorite 90s vibes?
149: Honey Badger
August 03, 2021 12:50 - 1 hour - 53.9 MBRemember back in the day when we found the simplest of youtube videos funny? Well, they aren't anymore because you're dead inside. Let's take a look at the honey badger, a viral sensation and a Lion Guard. We answer stuff like: Why shouldn't I put my entire name and life on a disney wikipedia page? Where are honey badgers found? What do honey badgers eat? Would they eat me?
148: Beaver
July 27, 2021 12:40 - 1 hour - 58.2 MBThink you're busier than a beaver? Think again. This week we answer questions like: why do beavers build dams? what's up with those orange teeth? why are they so pivotal to an ecosystem? what do they think about their neighbors? and why are people obsessed with their castoreum?
147: Addax
July 20, 2021 12:50 - 59 minutes - 51.6 MBTime for your regularly scheduled dose of even toed ungulate. Let's chat about a dry kinda guy. And before you come @ us check out Sahara Conservation Fund if you're interested in helping these dudes out, Flora forgot to mention it in the episode.... But we do mention stuff like: Where are addax found? How many are left in the wild? How many are found in captivity? Is hunting weird or nah? Is it possible there is a weird curse put on the addax that is making them all die, or is it just h...
Zoo Wrap up pt.2
July 13, 2021 12:50 - 1 hour - 59 MBHere is part 2 of 2 where we talk about our past zookeeping experiences. If you're new to the game, Flora and Fauna have roughly 19 years of zoo experience between them and recently left the field for other pursuits. These episodes will be a deep dive into our rationale behind leaving such a coveted career field, how we knew it was time to go, and what led us to that decision. BIG DISCLAIMER: we have wicked mad respect for all animal care professionals out there, in zoos and in other fields...
Zoo Wrap Up pt. 1
July 06, 2021 13:25 - 51 minutes - 45 MBHey hey heyyy Grime Family! You've been asking for this one for a long time and we finally got around to it. This is part 1 of a 2 part episode wherein we talk all about our zookeeping experiences - the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you're new to the game, Flora and Fauna have roughly 19 years of zoo experience between them and recently left the field for other pursuits. These episodes will be a deep dive into our rationale behind leaving such a coveted career field, how we knew it was tim...
146: Tiger Beetle
June 29, 2021 12:50 - 52 minutes - 43.3 MBThis episode is chaotic, but, when are they not. Flora's mom makes a brief appearance. But we mostly talk about a BUG. This one is weird, he gave up on flight, and became an Olympian, but he paid the price. So what's up with tiger beetles? How many subspecies of tiger beetle are they? Do they have mustaches? Do they have bones? How fast can the fastest tiger beetle run? Do we want to go to the past or the future? Is there a future? Listen now for the answers to all of these burning quest...
145: Jaguar
June 22, 2021 12:48 - 58 minutes - 48.9 MBMeet the only big cat native to the Americas! (Mountain lions, don't @ us, you're not included in this) This week learn all about the Jaguar and get answers to questions like: What is an obligate carnivore? How do jaguars hunt? What are the differences between Jaguars, Leopards, and Cheetahs? Are all cats just really big idiots? What is a melanistic color variant and how do black panthers fit into that? Why are jaguars SO BUILT?
144: Hoatzin
June 15, 2021 12:50 - 55 minutes - 47.4 MBKC coming at ya with a weird bird! I mean, all birds are kinda weird but this one takes the cake. Also maybe someone call Flora a doctor. She needs help. We chat about things like, What makes a hoatzin so weird? Where are they found? Do hoatzin share similarities with cows? Would we rather go flying or eat pizza? If there was a really bad horrific world ending event, what would we like it to be? How do you even say hoatzin? And more!
143: Cicada
June 08, 2021 13:00 - 1 hour - 60.1 MBSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Are you some of the blessed few who are experiencing Brood X right now? If so, we're jealous. This week we learn about the Cicada, a man of many talents. Ever wonder why cicadas spend most of their life underground? Or why when they emerge en masse they seem like a horror movie monster? What about their resonating chamber butts? Can they really cause hearing damage? Does their molt taste like popcorn? How do they use aposematism to protect themselves and why are...
Quick & Dirty Ep: 29
June 01, 2021 12:50 - 40 minutes - 33.4 MBIt's time for another Quick and Dirty! This time we get asked about a touchy subject. What do you do when your management/peers/coworkers hate the animals you work with? How can you convince them that they have the wrong attitude? What if your management sucks? Well, boy o boy, do we have the answer for you. Tune in to hear how best to tell everyone to sit and spin.
142: Mudskipper
May 25, 2021 14:34 - 45 minutes - 38.4 MBA little yucky man...what more could you want? He craves the best of both worlds and exists in all words. Say hello to Hannah Montana, the Last Airbender. This week we learn about mudskippers, an amphibious fish with an identity crisis. How does he thermoregulate? Are his eyeballs a headband and where can I get one? Why does he have secret bonus fins that make him look jacked? How does he regulate ammonia production and reduce the membrane permeability of his skin? Also who gave him the ...
141: Blue Whale
May 18, 2021 13:01 - 1 hour - 54.6 MBIt's the biggest animal to have ever lived ever in the history of ever. That's insane. Tune in to learn more about this big wet thing! We chat about our love for Kristen Stewart, feeding poles, and the Apple Bottom Boys. The whale lives in the ocean, filter feeds, and moves kinda slow. How many school buses is a blue whale? What hunts blue whales? Are blue whales an endangered species? Can someone tell Kristen Stewart we said hi?
140: Lamprey
May 11, 2021 12:53 - 1 hour - 53.3 MBIt's an eel! It's a noodle! No, it's actually a sinister cartilaginous tube, grow up. This week we answer your burning questions about the lamprey, including: what is up with this tube boy? Why are some lampreys parasitic carnivores and others peaceful angels? Are the dots on the sides of their face gill pores or very cool edgy facial piercings? How powerful is their suck? What is a buccal gland and how does it aid in their sin? (hint: it involves anticoagulant and disturbing imagery) ...
139: Umbrellabird
May 04, 2021 13:29 - 47 minutes - 38.3 MBFair warning, this has absolutely zero interesting animal facts in it. Come learn about the consequences for your actions. We also chat about things like: Is there anything even interesting about the umbrellabird? Where are they found? When is Christmas John coming for me? Can I escape it?
Quick & Dirty Ep: 28
April 27, 2021 13:05 - 31 minutes - 22 MBWhy ANYONE would come to us for advice on making a good first impression is baffling. But that's exactly what we discuss in this week's Quick and Dirty! We answer: how to make a good first impression at a new job and how to build relationships with new coworkers? We also talk more about prostates than you'd think.
138: Marine Iguana
April 20, 2021 15:27 - 1 hour - 55.3 MBWe are on a wet roll, keep them coming. This is basically a Godzilla episode, take that as you will. We answer burning questions like: Is Madagascar the Galapagos Islands? Are we fighting with Dad? What do marine iguanas eat? How does warm reptile boy go into cold water land? If we were in the Little Mermaid would we make the same choice as Ariel?
Quick & Dirty Ep: 27
April 13, 2021 13:01 - 1 hour - 53.4 MBTime to play the training game! Everyone dig up your clickers, whistles, target poles, and fave treats, this week's Q&D is all about training! We're gonna give you the HOT TIPS needed to finally teach your caterpillar how to do a push up. We answer the questions: what are the basics of animal training and what are some of Flora & Fauna's favorite zoo training stories?
137: Clownfish
April 06, 2021 13:34 - 49 minutes - 40.6 MBYeah, it's Nemo, we get it. We are getting our fish numbers up, back to back wet boys. Lets get to the nitty gritty: Where are clownfish found? How many species are there? Was Marlin from Finding Nemo supposed to be Nemo's mom? Why do these things live inside other things? Why don't they get stung by the anenome?
136: Puffer fish
March 30, 2021 12:55 - 1 hour - 54.9 MBPossibly the most aptly named animal out there, this week is all about the Puffer fish! Have you ever wanted to know: How does a puffer fish puff? Why are his lips so luscious? Is the puffer fish Agatha Christie's most infamous literary murderer? Who needs a stomach when you can become a globe? Tetrodotoxin - what is that? What qualities are *required* in Flora's ideal partner? What is GOING ON with the puffer fish life cycle and WHY does it involve humiliating a man? Well then you'r...
135: Yangtze River Turtle
March 23, 2021 12:50 - 57 minutes - 46.4 MBThis ugly little turtle has got a big hill to climb. One of the most endangered species is also very ugly, but that doesn't mean we don't love them! Tune in to hear about this BIG wet turtle friend. We answer stuff like: How many Yangtze turtles are left? Where were they originally found? What kinda noms do turtles nom? Does Yurtle deserve to be canceled? Is Mitch McConnell our last hope?
134: Domestic rabbit
March 16, 2021 13:45 - 1 hour - 58.5 MBBun Bun time!!!! Round. Soft. Little nose. SMOL tail. Ears. What more could you want?? We learn answers to your BURNING rabbit (and non-rabbit) questions like: what is the difference between a rabbit and a hare? Do Flora and Fauna EVEN like each other? What is tonic immobility and why do rabbits do this? Why should you NEVER gift someone a rabbit for Easter? What is a hindgut fermenter and WHY do we talk about eating poop? Are these things rodents and what is going on with those teeth? Ple...
133: Visayan Warty Pig
March 09, 2021 13:50 - 54 minutes - 43.9 MBLet's talk about pigs, baby. Although, we actually talk a lot more about nothing this episode, sorry. Did you know Flora loves pigs? She does, and she's gonna tell you all about it. We chat about: Where Visayan Warty Pigs are found. What won't a pig eat? How many warty pigs are there? What even is the difference between pigs, hogs, and boars.
132: Goliath beetle
March 02, 2021 14:00 - 1 hour - 56.1 MB*BUG BUG BE DUM BUG BUG BE DUM DUM* (to the tune of Disturbia by Rihanna) It's bug time. Stop what you're doing and learn about this bug. We answer questions like: Why is this beetle so big? Better question, why is his larvae SO BIG? How can you differentiate between the different species? How old were you when you went through your Egyptian history phase? Is anyone else also freaking out about the current season of Attack on Titan?? If you were offered mandibles in lieu of your teeth, w...
Quick & Dirty Ep: 26
February 23, 2021 14:01 - 42 minutes - 36.6 MBBack at it again with some questions and advice. This week we answer the question: - What types of animal-related career fields are out there and how do I get involved? We also talk quesadilla mishaps, our future career plans, Jeff Corwin, and more!
131: Hellbender
February 16, 2021 13:50 - 1 hour - 55.8 MBTag yourself: Snot otter, lasagna lizard, or devil dog? Are you ready to slip into something wet and talk about North America's biggest salamander!? We answer questions like: Where can I find the Hellbender? Are they really from hell, and what is up with the name? Is this guy gonna steal my girl? What do they like to eat? Do Hellbenders smash or make love? How many species of hellbender are there? Is this an endangered species?
130: Tawny Frogmouth
February 09, 2021 14:00 - 1 hour - 54.9 MBBig eyes...big mouth...flat head...who is she? The tawny frogmouth! Join us as we learn about another really great bird. We answer questions like: Is this the week Flora finds love? Is this thing a potoo...does anyone know what a potoo is? Where does the frogmouth get its name? What is your Furby up to these days? How does the frogmouth use cryptic plumage to blend into its environment? And what are your most cringe middle school memories? As a bonus you get some wild anime recs, som...
Quick & Dirty Ep: 25
February 02, 2021 13:50 - 51 minutes - 42.9 MBTime for another quicky! Tune in to get some fun information straight from these two horses mouths. Wanna rant about Star Wars? Wanna hear about weird things Flora found? This is the place for you. But we also answer an email from Abs! What is some advice we have for Keeper Talks and dealing with unruly guests?! We gotchu guys.