What to Do If Your Coaching Client is Lying to You? (Liz Scully)

• Episode summary: It can be extremely challenging and difficult if you, as a coach, suspect that your coaching client is lying. But it turns out, there are nuances to lying; not all lies are detrimental and they can even sometimes serve as self-protection. Wait, what? Isn’t a lie a lie? The answer, it turns out, isn’t so simple. Today’s conversation is all about how to tell when your coaching client is lying, how to handle the situation - and whether the lie is even worth addressing. 

• In this episode, Melinda Cohan, our host and senior coach, has an eye-opening and lively conversation with Liz Scully, the founder of Rethink Central, an organization that provides business strategies for entrepreneurs. They talk about what can motivate a client to lie and some common signs of lying, including micro-expressions that we have no control over. They also explain the difference between big untruths and so-called white lies. The session also addresses some compelling reasons not to challenge a client’s lie or a story they tell themselves.

• In this episode we discuss:

How an animator became an expert in lie detection. The role of microexpressions in lie detection. The difference between big untruths and the so-called social lies. What are the signs of lying?What to do when your client seems to lie. Reasons to not challenge a client's lie or a story that they tell themselves.

– “Because we all think that we're kind of a closed perfect circuit. And, obviously, we're not. We're leaking information all the time.” – Liz Scully

Liz Scully

• Guest Bio: Liz Scully spent 20 years working on big Hollywood films - she’s won an Emmy and her work is multi-Oscar nominated. Now, she’s a business strategist and a Mastermind coach and KNOWS business can be ridiculously fun as well as highly effective. 

• She’s Irish, nomadic and as confused as everyone else why she has an English accent.

• Resources or websites mentioned in this episode:

Mirasee Coaches Console Rethinkcentral.comMalcolm Gladwell’s book - Blink

• Credits:

Guest - Liz ScullyHost - Melinda CohanProducer - Cynthia Lamb Executive producer - Danny InyWriter - Michi Lantz, Melinda Cohan and Cynthia LambAssembled by - Geoff GovertsenAudio Post Supervisor: Evan Miles, Christopher MartinAudio Post Production by Post Office SoundMusic soundscape: Chad Michael Snavely

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• Music and SFX credits: 

1. Track Title: Clouds

Artist Name(s): Acreage

Writer Name: Marshall Usinger

Publisher Name: BOSS SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTIONS

2. Track Title: Coastline Dream

Artist Name(s): Wild Sky

Writer Name: Adam Simons

Publisher Name: BOSS SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTIONS

3. Track Title: Coo Coos

Artist Name(s): Dresden, The Flamingo

Writer Name: Matthew Wigton

Publisher Name: A SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTION

4. Track Title: Stars & Trees

Artist Name(s): Outside The Sky

Writer Name: Dustin Ransom

Publisher Name: A SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTION

• Episode transcription: What to Do If Your Coaching Client is Lying to You? (Liz Scully)

[00:00:01] Melinda: Mirasee.

[00:00:05] Liz: I actually hear lies better than I see them because that is often two things that happen when someone's about to tell a lie. There is a longer than expected pause while they think of the lie and there will be a pitch change. Sometimes some people get squeaky, we've all seen that as a kid. No, we didn't eat the sweets and you're like, yes, you did.

[00:00:31] Melinda: Hello and welcome to just between coaches, the podcast that tackles difficult coaching conversations head on. My name is Melinda Cohan and I run a business called the coaches console. The Coaches Console has supported more than 50,000 entrepreneurs and creating their own profitable coaching business. 

 

I've invited Liz Scully onto just between coaches to discuss a topic that can be challenging to talk about lying. We'll look into different types of lies, how to detect them and what you as a coach can do about it. Liz is the founder of Rethink Central that provides business strategies for entrepreneurs. She's also a mastermind coach for influential coaches. Before I bring Liz on, I'll start with reading an email from a listener that addresses the topic. Again, any email that you send me that I read on the air will be anonymous unless you tell me otherwise. So don't hesitate to be open about what's on your mind. Here's what anonymous had to say. 

 

Dear Melinda, there's something that I can't shake and I need your help and input. Maybe it's nothing, maybe there's something to it. I'm new at coaching and recently started to work as a business coach. What do I do if I believe a client is lying to me? I take pride in trusting my gut, even when it doesn't make sense. My client shared with me from the beginning that she inherited some money and so paying for my packages was not a problem. I'm so grateful for that. And all the ways I've been able to support her and all the things she's been able to accomplish. However, in our last coaching session I heard her mention that she had to borrow money to be able to pay for my services and that it's weighing on her budget. Should I challenge her on this or let it go? I can't help but wonder has she lied about other things. 

 

Dear anonymous. Thank you for your mail. And this question we're going to talk about lies today, but we're also g...