Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
514 episodes - English - Latest episode: 8 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1.6K ratingsBecause It's About Time Someone Did
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Episodes
367 – Jay and Connor X-Plain X-Casting
March 27, 2022 21:44 - 1 hour - 110 MBIn which Jay and guest X-Pert Connor Goldsmith explore approaches to podcasting about X-Men; difficult characters; costume preferences; our mutual mistrust of horses; owning our perspectives; and good on-ramps.
366 – Nine-Tenths of the Law
March 21, 2022 02:49 - 42 minutes - 58.9 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the Beast miniseries is actually a cleverly disguised Karma miniseries; Gateway’s moral alignment remains a mystery; Cannonball rocks some sideburns; there are many reasons to dislike Viper; and every #1 is somebody’s first. X-PLAINED: An off-panel death X-Force #62 Beast #1-3 Karma’s family and backstory (again) Twin absorption MacGuffins and/or children Clearcut and Mindmeld Unconsciousness Spiral (ag...
365 – A Whole Year of This Nonsense
March 14, 2022 01:38 - 50 minutes - 68.9 MBIn which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.
364 – Department of Pareidolia
February 28, 2022 04:20 - 49 minutes - 68.6 MBIn which we lie extensively about how comics schedules work; the Mystery School is clearly a backdoor pitch; the Wisdom family has a lot going on; red dyes fade fast; and we (roughly) calculate the odds of Cyclops having a good day.
363 – Licked by a Shadow
February 21, 2022 03:54 - 55 minutes - 76.5 MBIn which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.
362 – Lazy Summer Day
February 14, 2022 03:57 - 51 minutes - 70.4 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along. X-PLAINED: The worst mutant power Generation X #20-21 X-Factor #127 Bachalo critters Bastion (more) (again) Daria (but not the one you’re thinking of) Chevy the janitor (again) Mean Cuisine Harker the cat A threatening salad Yet ...
361 – The World’s Densest Eagle
January 31, 2022 14:17 - 52 minutes - 71.6 MBIn which the 1990s were full of miniseries; Mystique and Sabretooth take a sabbatical from X-Factor; Mystique’s powers are wildly inconsistent; we meet a second Cypher; most secret agents are Mystique; and you should never tell Sabretooth about your girlfriend.
360 – Charging Forward
January 24, 2022 03:46 - 48 minutes - 66.8 MBIn which history gets rewritten (again); Shatterstar definitely knows how to dance; and everyone gets extremely grumpy about Loeb’s final X-Force arc.
359 – Meanwhile in Britain
January 17, 2022 04:01 - 59 minutes - 82 MBIn which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.
BONUS: Jay, Miles, and Jonathan Hickman Spoil the Hell out of Inferno
January 06, 2022 03:24 - 22 minutes - 20.8 MBInferno #4 is out; and, as promised, we've got a bonus interview with Jonathan Hickman--unedited this time, so please forgive the audio--going into the gory details of the miniseries and its finale!
358 – Giant-Size Special #10
January 03, 2022 03:42 - 2 hours - 172 MBIn which Hub & Lisa X-Plain Howard the Duck; Jay & Miles X-Plain Daydreamers; and Jonathan Hickman X-Plains his tenure on the X-line!
357 – The Semiotics of Regret
December 27, 2021 02:03 - 49 minutes - 67.8 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Professor X has no time for your sympathy; there are too many people in the bathroom; everything’s more fun with J. Jonah Jameson; psychologists dress better in the 616; the Rainbow Bears have your back; and Onslaught finally, actually, for-real ends. X-PLAINED: How Logan got his adamanitum back (again) Onslaught (briefly) Uncanny X-Men #337 X-Men #57 Onslaught Epilogue #1 What we wish Onslaught had been Th...
356 – The Michael Bay-eux Tapestry
December 20, 2021 01:39 - 52 minutes - 121 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends. X-PLAINED: Heroes Reborn Return Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial Onslaught so far X-Men #56 Onslaught: Marvel Universe Jay’s definitive Bond Joseph (more) The physical evolution of Onslaught Sense of scale Hawkeye (TV series) Onslaught’s goals, to what...
355 – All Sentinels Are Bastards
December 13, 2021 03:36 - 55 minutes - 101 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans. X-PLAINED: The Clone Saga (briefly) How not to dispose of a dead clone Ben Reilly Amazing Spider-Man #415 Spider-Man #72 Green Goblin #12 Punisher #11 Onslaught’s increasingly ne...
HAWK TALK – What A Long, Strange Hawk It’s Been
December 06, 2021 00:18 - 27 minutes - 25.1 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about Hawk Talk.
354 – The Touch of Magneto
November 29, 2021 03:47 - 1 hour - 71.6 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook. X-PLAINED: The Golden Archer Wolverine #104-105 Generation X #18-19 Portions of Elektra’s deal Stick Wolverine’s nose Gateway and Onslaught Several flashbacks The Onslaught goblin Re...
353 – Scientists and Superheroes
November 22, 2021 03:26 - 50 minutes - 115 MBIn which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.
HAWK TALK – Bugs
November 14, 2021 23:07 - 34 minutes - 16 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)! As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry face
352 – Onslog
November 08, 2021 03:19 - 53 minutes - 61.4 MBIn which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.
351 – His Mighty Hand
November 01, 2021 03:30 - 59 minutes - 68.6 MBIn which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.
350 – The Xavier Protocols
October 25, 2021 03:38 - 1 hour - 73.8 MBIn which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.
HAWK TALK – Sitcoms
October 18, 2021 02:38 - 31 minutes - 22.8 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!
349 – Onslaught Secret Weapon Force Power Slammers
October 11, 2021 05:26 - 53 minutes - 61.6 MBIn which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.https://www.xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/X349.mp3
348 – Onslaught Continues
October 04, 2021 03:58 - 54 minutes - 62.5 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot. X-PLAINED: Teenage Iron Man Onslaught thus far What Onslaught wants Uncanny X-Men #335 X-Men Unlimited #11 Avengers #401 The rebirth of Apocalypse The Apocalocophagous The Age of Wonders X-Man vs. Professor X Nate Grey-sitting Humanity’s Last Stand Simon Trask Bastion Rogue and Joseph Avengers fashion Assumptions Other characters who could merge ...
347 – Onslaught Begins
September 27, 2021 03:54 - 57 minutes - 65.2 MBIn which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.
HAWK TALK – School
September 20, 2021 03:32 - 38 minutes - 17.8 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about school.
346 – Romancing the Gehenna Stone
September 13, 2021 02:06 - 51 minutes - 58.5 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we continue to avoid Onslaught with a jaunt over to the Wolverine solo series; Logan is terrible at both being a loner and secret identities; fake vampires are fundamentally hilarious; and Burt Corrigan is the hero we need. X-PLAINED Hyperstorm (kinda) Wolverine #11-16 A very full week What Wolverine has been up to Madripoor Several supporting cast members “Patch” Archie Corrigan Burt Corrigan Several...
345 – All of the Marvels (feat. Douglas Wolk)
September 05, 2021 23:15 - 52 minutes - 59.6 MBIn which author and friend of the podcast Douglas Wolk joins us to discuss his upcoming book All of the Marvels; his epic quest to read all Marvel Comics, ever; and what he learned along the way.
344 – Where No Mutant Has Gone Before (feat. Tina Carleton)
August 30, 2021 03:11 - 1 hour - 87.8 MBIn which the X-Men cross over with two generations of Star Trek; your grandma invented slash fiction; Gladiator punches a starship; we designate a universe; Leonard McCoy gets bowdlerized; “Gary” is a silly name for a god; Elizabeth Dehner deserves better; a lot of things happen in space; Worf and Wolverine enjoy a brief but intense romance; the X-Men should have more to say about the ethics of “curing” mutation; and we successfully delay Onslaught by another week.
HAWK TALK – The Big Stuff
August 22, 2021 23:45 - 31 minutes - 28.4 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about large things.
343 – The Water Cooler of Violence
August 16, 2021 02:57 - 50 minutes - 57.6 MBIn which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.
342 – Angry Birds
August 09, 2021 00:26 - 55 minutes - 63.5 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Miles does his best, birds are weird, some of the most dangerous villains are pink, and we are in the Onslaught Zone. X-PLAINED: Malibu Comics and Marvel Comics, sitting in a (multiversal) tree, KILLING Archangel: Phantom Wings Unorthodox artistic decisions Archangel (Warren Kenneth Worthington III) Angst, renewed Bird ichor Tuesday Bird and her Mad Max outfit How (not?) to flirt Uncanny X-Men #333 Va...
341 – Rainbow Connection
August 02, 2021 02:53 - 51 minutes - 59.3 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Chris Bachalo returns to Generation X; we briefly forget that Mondo exists; Synch is an extraordinarily good kid; not everybody gets a jetpack; Jubilee takes a turn as team strategist; Chamber has Onslaught problems; the X-Cutioner has no discernible dignity; the M does not stand for “metaphorical.” X-PLAINED: Jubilee’s aunt Hope Generation X #15-17 Generation X (more) (again) Emplates (more) (again) An instanc...
HAWK TALK – What We Blew Up On Our Summer Vacation
July 25, 2021 21:00 - 49 minutes - 45.5 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Miles and guest hawk Anna Sheffey talked about playing too much Resident Evil during lockdown.
340 – Retconaganda
July 19, 2021 02:03 - 53 minutes - 61 MBIn which the X.S.E. miniseries is future copaganda; Earth-1191 has no room for moral ambiguity; Bishop pulls a Marty McFly; Malcolm and Randall get distinct personalities; you really shouldn’t give officers a symbol of authority that there’s no way to revoke.
339 – Luck Be a Lady
July 12, 2021 02:57 - 54 minutes - 62.1 MBIn which evil robots are fundamentally more optimistic than climate change; Ozymandias could probably use a new hobby; Wolverine goes full Kate Beaton; “Luck Be a Lady” would be a kickass hymn; Shard gets a body (kinda); and the X-Men definitely do that.
338 – Chomp and Stomp
July 05, 2021 02:15 - 53 minutes - 61.6 MBIn which X-Factor’s lineup shifts further towards villainy; Wild Child is neither wild nor a child; bureaucrat Val Cooper > action Val Cooper; Marvel invests in Bastion; and foreshadowing works better in some titles than in others.
338 – Chomp & Stomp
July 05, 2021 02:15 - 53 minutes - 61.6 MBIn which X-Factor’s lineup shifts further towards villainy; Wild Child is neither wild nor a child; bureaucrat Val Cooper > action Val Cooper; Marvel invests in Bastion; and foreshadowing works better in some titles than in others.
HAWK TALK – Pirates
June 27, 2021 19:24 - 36 minutes - 33.2 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and guest hawk Tea Fougner talked about pirates. You can find Tea at @teaberryblue on pretty much all of the social medias!
337 – Wild Genes and Old Magic
June 21, 2021 01:32 - 55 minutes - 63.9 MBIn which Excalibur is beset by shady organizations; Nightcrawler gets a new look; nobody hates Pete Wisdom as much as Lockheed hates Pete Wisdom; Brian Braddock should not be allowed to dress himself; Excalibur invades Black Air; and Onslaught continues to lurk.
336 – Serpents in Eden, feat. Si Spurrier
June 14, 2021 02:01 - 47 minutes - 54.2 MBIn which writer Si Spurrier joins us to talk Nightcrawler, the unsustainability of Krakoa, bringing back Legion, the stuff growing on Dr. Nemesis’s head, Welsh accents, founding (and not founding) a mutant religion, and—yes—Onslaught.
335 – Bone Town
June 07, 2021 01:54 - 49 minutes - 56.2 MBIn which we cover somewhat peculiar content under somewhat peculiar circumstances; nobody does it like Alan Davis; in this house, we appreciate Gracie Gamble; nominal errors are not what they appear; and you should probably not leave your children with most of the X-Men.
HAWK TALK – Wizards
May 30, 2021 22:17 - 35 minutes - 32.8 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about wizards. Topics, roughly: Fantasy wizards Space wizards Beards and wizards and gender Vancian spellcasting Wizard taxonomy The Baal Shem Book learnin' Towers and Discworld wizards Dragonlance wizards Tolkien wizards Iceman with a wizard beard Which animals make the best wizards Magic: th...
334 – Genetic Nonsense
May 24, 2021 02:01 - 47 minutes - 53.9 MBIn which William Stryker is exceptionally difficult to kill; the terminology around Emplate’s powers is absolute nonsense even by comic-book standards; inkers deserve more credit; we would totally read comics about Murmur the Softpoken Mummy; Bishop comes to the rescue; and nothing really resolves. X-PLAINED: What happened to William Stryker Gratuitous use of the adjective “genetic” Emplate (again) Generation X #12-14 Inks Penance’s original backstory Pining A really unpleas...
333 – Fight Train
May 17, 2021 04:04 - 49 minutes - 56.1 MBIn which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Dardevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.
332 – Gideon Falls
May 10, 2021 01:12 - 49 minutes - 56.1 MBIn which Swimsuit Catalog is not an actual style of martial arts; Onslaught dabbles in vandalism; Crule is a special guy; we identify briefly with X-Force; and Charles Xavier is the Keyser Soze of Onslaught.
HAWK TALK – Hack the Planet
May 02, 2021 22:45 - 31 minutes - 28.7 MBThis would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, in honor of the 1995 film's 1337-week anniversary, we talked about the finest movie about technology ever made, Hackers. Topics, roughly: Hackers Mister The Plague What David Bowie and Angelina Jolie have in common Razor & Blade The glory of Matthew Lillard Counterculture Queer (sub)text Focal characters Jay's ...
331 – Surprised by Brood
April 26, 2021 04:16 - 52 minutes - 60.2 MBArt by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we take a break from the lead-up to Onslaught; Hannah Conover is the queen of dangling plot threads (and also of the Brood); Wolverine is the strangest angel; William Conover is the chillest minister in the Marvel Universe; and Excalibur writer Tini Howard gives us the inside scoop on Gambit’s trench coat. X-PLAINED: Mutant Brood The Brood vs. Brood X cicadas X-Men vs. Brood: Day of Wrath #1-2 Theological origins...
330 – Suddenly, Ninjas
April 19, 2021 00:31 - 56 minutes - 129 MBIn which the podcast turns seven; Matt has officially edited half the podcast; a lot of things are made by metal; Doctor Strange is a big weirdo; Gambit is a scoundrel, not a villain; Wolverine goes goth; Onslaught could probably use a better herald; Bishop fires two guns whilst going aaaaaaa; and we commit to making what sense we can of Onslaught.
329 – Scheming and Argument
April 12, 2021 03:29 - 47 minutes - 54.4 MBIn which Nate Grey has the soul of a man in a mesh shirt; Black Air is somehow even worse than you thought it was; Hulk does not want to be x-treme teen from alternate dimension; we are excited as hell for the upcoming Frasier/Ewing Gamma Flight; and Moira MacTaggert is (sometimes) the adult we need.