In All Honesty
66 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 35 ratingsWe all have that friend that teeters on the line of too honest. She may not be the friend to go to when you’ve decided to get back together with your ex, but she’ll definitely be the friend you go to when it all backfires and you are ready for the truth. That’s where In All Honesty comes in. Each week, five board accredited life coach and best selling author Michelle Elman, will answer your questions using both her expertise and her experience of working with clients to provide solutions that not only work but enhance your life. In All Honesty makes personal development accessible, with help from a professional, without the six-week waiting list. You can find out more about Michelle on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok @MichelleLElman or her website www.michelleelman.com
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Episodes
How To Break The Habit of Criticism
December 14, 2022 10:00 - 12 minutes - 23.7 MBDo you criticise others a lot? Do you find it difficult to have intimacy? Do you tend to see the bad before the good? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about why criticism is so destructive for your personal relationships and why it breaks both trust and intimacy. She discusses why criticism is a habit and share with you how to break that habit. She talks you through how to focus on the bigger picture in order to ignore unnecessary conflict and shows you how t...
How To Change Your Mood In A Minute
December 07, 2022 10:00 - 13 minutes - 25.9 MBDo you get nervous before a job interview? Would you love to be more confident public speaking? Do you wish you had more control over your mood? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle shares her top secret way she prepares for public speaking, live TV interviews and any big work moments. It's a technique which can calm your nerves and boost your confidence and minutes and she takes you through it step by step. Alongside the impact it has had before big work moments, she ...
Listen To This If You Have A Temper
November 30, 2022 10:00 - 9 minutes - 17.4 MBDo you have a big temper? Do you find it difficult to stay calm in conflict? Do you get heated really quickly? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle shares three quick tips that you can use in the moment when you lose your temper. She talks about how our relationship with anger is warped and the way we discuss it in society isn't helpful. She discusses how you can give yourself permission to feel angry and how you can slow down so you can choose your reaction. For mor...
The Best Work Boundary I Have Heard
November 23, 2022 10:00 - 11 minutes - 21.5 MBDo you find it hard to let yourself rest? Do you struggle to stop working? Are you guilty of doing one small task on your day off? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle shares a workplace boundary that her friend told her about and why it's such a brilliant company policy. She shares with you her policy on 100% work and 100% rest and how watching 6 hours of TV allowed her to have the most productive day she's had in a while. She talks about how different methods of numb...
The Phrase I Hate Most In The World
November 16, 2022 10:00 - 12 minutes - 23.5 MBDo you feel forced to be more positive? Do you feel pressure to make meaning out of trauma? Do you find it hard to see the good? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about the phrase she hates most in the world and how it's laced with toxic positivity. She discusses how toxic positivity doesn't help use especially in the context of trauma and shares the phrase that she hates most and why it's unhelpful to say to people going through a tough time. She shares the a...
One Question To Gain Confidence and Combat Fear
November 09, 2022 10:00 - 12 minutes - 23.1 MBDo you find it hard to do something new? Do you worry about asking for favours? Do you want to feel more confident in work? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle shares with you one question she used to help her do the scariest part of being an author. She talks you through how embodying someone else can be a really useful tool and discusses how other people can help drive that motivation. She shows you how you can use comparison to your benefit and shares the concept o...
Why You Should Let Yourself Go
November 02, 2022 10:00 - 11 minutes - 22.4 MBDo you worry about what you look like? Have you been told you've let yourself go? Do you feel sad for no reason? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about what 'letting yourself go really means'. She talks about how your external appearance can reflect how you are feeling internally and how that can actually liberate you. She discusses what to do when you feel sad for no reason and how to sink into that feeling and stop worrying about how you are perceived by ot...
Gym Intimidation Is So Unnecessary!
October 26, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 22.4 MBDo you get too intimidated to go to the gym? Do you worry people are judging you when exercising? Do you struggle to know how gym machines work? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about an experience in the gym where someone laughed at her while she was trying to figure out how the machine works. She discusses how gym intimidation leads to people not entering the gym for the first time and she shows you how she fueled it into her workout and how you shouldn't ...
Stop Making Fast Friendships!
October 19, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 20.9 MBDo you make friendships really quicky? Do you find they rarely last? Do you want to know how to make friendships more sustainably? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how fast friendships are a recipe for disaster and why intensity plays a key role. She talks about how to build relationships more sustainably and shares Brené Brown's theory about the marble jar. She discusses why you might feel a need to overshare and where the desire to form friendships qu...
Happiness Is Not A Goal
October 12, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 21.9 MBDo you want to feel happier in life? Do you worry that others have a happier life than you do? Do you feel guilty if you don't feel grateful? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about happiness and why believing we deserve to be happy can have a downside. She talks about how the pressure to be happy can actually mean you ignore other emotions and why we need to allow ourselves access to all emotions. She discusses how toxic positivity can have a negative impact ...
Stop Testing Your Relationships!
October 05, 2022 09:00 - 10 minutes - 19.7 MBDo you stop texting your friends to see if they will notice? Do you have difficulty asking your partner for what you need directly? Do you often think 'the grass is greener' when in a relationship? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about why testing your relationships doesn't work. She talks about how shows like Love Island and The Ultimatum are not good demonstrations of commitment and that it is not indicative of the real world in terms of loyalty and fidelt...
When You Need To Mind Your Own Business
September 28, 2022 09:00 - 11 minutes - 21.8 MBDo you think your friends are making the wrong decision? Do you find it hard to keep your opinions to yourself? Do you want to know how to set boundaries around repeating the same conversation? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how we need to let the people in our lives make their own mistakes. She talks about how repeating your opinion over and over again is bad boundaries and shows you a better approach so that you can support the people in your life w...
What's The Difference Between A Boundary And An Ultimatum?
September 21, 2022 09:00 - 9 minutes - 17.1 MBDo you believe setting a boundary is a threat? Do you give ultimatums when you don't get your way? Do you struggle to compromise? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about ultimatums and what the difference is between giving an ultimatum and setting a boundary. Michelle talks about how compromises often leave both parties unsatisfied and gives you a better option. She also discusses how you can get your needs met by looking under the surface level need. For mo...
How To Know If You Need Too Much External Validation
September 14, 2022 09:00 - 9 minutes - 17.6 MBDo you rely on external validation a lot? Do you need compliments to feel secure? Do you think you are needy to ask for reassurance? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how external validation and internal validation affect us. She discusses how you can do both and why external validation isn't a bad thing. She talks you through her personal experiences of learning how to build internal validation and why external validation isn't as reliable. For more in...
Why You Need Boredom In Your Life
September 07, 2022 09:00 - 9 minutes - 18.5 MBDo you get bored easily? Do you take your boredom as a sign that you are dissatisfied with life? Do you struggle to finish what you've started? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how boredom creates room for creativity and why it's necessary in order to be successful in life, relationships and your goals. She discusses how boredom is an emotion and if you aren't able to utilise it, you will be tempted to leave a good thing. She talks through personal expe...
Are You A High or Low Reactor?
January 20, 2022 10:00 - 14 minutes - 26.4 MBDo you feel disappointed when someone does react the way you want? Do you find yourself getting annoyed at people for things you used to love in them? Do you assume people don't care about you? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how your reactions aren't always a good indicator of what you are feeling inside. She discusses the differences in how people express themselves and why it's important to understand this difference to not take it personally. She t...
You Do Not Need Your Parents' Approval
January 18, 2022 10:00 - 11 minutes - 21.4 MBDo you still worry about letitng down your parents? Do you find it hard to make decisions without other people's input Do you struggle to see your own opinion as important? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about waiting for your parents' approval will limit you and how it can impact your life if you aren't conscious of the fact that you are still searching for it. She discusses the importance of trying to not change people and gives tips on how to place your ...
Get A Hobby You Are Rubbish At
January 13, 2022 10:00 - 15 minutes - 29.2 MBAre you a perfectionist? Do you worry about looking silly? Do you feel guilty if you aren't being productive Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle makes a case for why you need a hobby you are bad at and why it changed her life in so many ways. She talks about the different hobbies she has found and why being intentional about not improving your skill or trying to progress in any way is the key to it. She discusses how it changes your mentality around productivity and f...
How To Be Fearless + Why That Shouldn't Be The Goal
January 11, 2022 10:00 - 16 minutes - 31.8 MBDo you wish you were more fearless? Do you find yourself declining opportunities because you are scared? Would you like to know the secret to managing fear? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how there is a myth around fearlessness that doesn't serve us and creates an unrealistic goal. She talks about how she overcomes fear herself and the tools and mentalities she used in order to do scary things like her TedX talk. She discusses how she has natvigated f...
Listen To This On Your Worst Days
January 06, 2022 10:00 - 13 minutes - 25.6 MBDo you have days where you struggle to get out of bed? Does your self-care go out the window when you have bad mental health? Do you need a way to simplify looking after your basic needs? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how Honey Ross introduced to a really basic way to look after your self-care when life gets hard and how taking a tip from The Sims helped her cope in the pandemic. She talks about how Sims in the perfect example of taking care of each ...
Top Writing Tips From An Author
January 04, 2022 10:00 - 27 minutes - 51 MBDo you think you are a bad writer? Would you like to be an author someday? Are you curious about how you get a book deal? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how she got book deals for Am I Ugly? and The Joy of Being Selfish and how the writing process differs when you submit a book on proposal vs. a full manuscript. She talks about what she does when she feels she is creatively stuck and how she prevents writer's block and how wanting to delete your whole...
You Are Allowed To Be Asleep By Midnight
December 30, 2021 10:00 - 10 minutes - 19.9 MBDo you want an alternative to New Years resolutions? Do you dread staying up for NYE? Do you want to know how to make the most of 2022 Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about what she does at the end of every year to take all the lessons and learning from this year into the next. She shares why yearly reviews have become a lovely ritual for her and why she places less importance on being awake at midnight and that the mentality that how you spend your NYE dete...
Stop Judging Your Year As Good Or Bad
December 28, 2021 10:00 - 10 minutes - 19.7 MBDo you believe there are good or bad people? Do you think you aren't judgemental? Have you been saying this is a bad year? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how the labels 'good' and 'bad' could be negatively impacting your perceptions. She discusses how these are judgements and why we have a system in our brain that will prevent us from seeing the whole picture. She gives you a quick exercise to broaden your awareness and shows how these snap decisions ...
You Are Allowed To Hate Christmas
December 23, 2021 10:00 - 11 minutes - 20.8 MBDo you dread Christmas? Do you compare your family to others? Does your Christmas meal always end in a fight? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle reassures you that you aren't alone if Christmas isn't your thing and the holiday period is tough for you to get through. She talks about how you can make this weekend a more peaceful time of the year and shows you ways to redefine this time of year to make it work for you. For more information, follow Michelle on Instagram...
7 Beliefs That Helped Me In My Lowest Lows
December 21, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 28.5 MBAre you currently going through a rough time? Have you ever wondered if you will ever stop crying? Are you finding it really hard to keep the faith that life will get better? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle shares the beliefs and mindsets she uses in her own life when life is throwing you hurdles one after another and you don't know how you are going to survive it. She talks about how these mentalities are things she accumulated over years in life coaching herself...
Body Positive Movement + How To Love Exercise Without Hating Your Body
December 16, 2021 10:00 - 30 minutes - 57.4 MBDo you want to exercise without hating your body? Is it hard to understand how someone can actually love exercise? Can body positivity and fitness co-exist? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how she went from hating movement to loving exercise. She gives you practical tips to change your relationship with exercise from one of punishment, compensating calories and self-hatred to moving from a place of fun and genuine enjoyment. She talks about her pivotal...
3 Ways You Might Be Breaking Intimacy
December 14, 2021 10:00 - 16 minutes - 30.7 MBDo you struggle to build intimacy? Is it hard for you to show appreciation? Have you found that you feel less connected to the people in your life? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle shares the three things that she is unlearning in her own life that leads to intimacy and connection being broken in all relationship. She discusses how people in your life can either be positive motivation to repeat similar behaviours or negative motivation to choose something different...
What Body Confidence Really Looks Like
December 09, 2021 10:00 - 24 minutes - 46.8 MBDo you wish you were body confidence? Do you think body positivity means being positive about your body? Do you think body neutrality is a more realistic goal? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about the difference between body confidence and body positivity and why labels can often confuse your own body image. She discusses how she is often held up as the 'end result' of body positivity and why this is flawed in so many ways. She talks about what the goal of ...
What I Learnt From A Funeral + Telling People How Much You Care When They Are Still Alive
December 07, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 28.9 MBIs telling people how you feel about them a scary prospect? Do you struggle to know how to compliment people? Would you like the people in your life to feel more appreciated? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about how a funeral made her evaluate whether she'd told the people she cares that she loves them. She talks about how to give a compliment and why specific compliments have a different impact. She shares her two ethos in life around telling people about ...
Criticism Is Not Love + Healing Childhood Shame
December 02, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 29.6 MBDid you hear the phrase 'I'm only telling you for your own good' as a child? Were you told 'if I can't tell you, who will'? Do you find it hard to make mistakes without shaming yourself? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle talks about criticism and how it affects your self-esteem. She talks about why when a parent specifically criticises us, we are unable to separate it from our behaviour and see it as our behaviour. Michelle also talks about how being constantly crit...
What Procrastination Really Means + Why Quitting Is Part Of Success
November 30, 2021 10:00 - 21 minutes - 39.9 MBAre you a big procrastinator? Do you just believe you are lazy? Were you taught that never quitting was the key to success? Then this episode is for you. In this episode, Michelle explains why the podcast is undergoing a little bit of a change and adapting to a more casual approach. She talks about how procrastination is a word often used to distract from the real problem and the four actual reasons someone might procrastinate. She talks about how to get out of creative slump and why qu...
Apologies: Why do I not believe people when they apologize?
July 07, 2021 09:00 - 40 minutes - 55.3 MBWhy do I not believe people when they apologize? How do I forgive myself and know I won't do it again? Should I continue to persist when someone doesn't accept your apology? How do I ask for an apology for something that happened ages ago? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on apologies and explains what a good apology involves. She discusses apology languages and why she doesn't completely agree with this model but how it is helpful to construct your own apologies. She talks ab...
Red Flags: Is it a red flag if they never ask about me?
June 30, 2021 09:00 - 49 minutes - 67.9 MBIs it a red flag if they never ask about me? What are the warning signs for emotional unavailability? Are there any clues that someone is going to ghost? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on red flags and defines what a red flag is. She explains the actual meaning of red flags and why this word should not be used to describe everything. She discusses how the idea of foreseeing every red flag is flawed and why we need to have a balance of being aware of red flags and not being to...
Red Flags: Is it a red flag if they never ask about me?
June 30, 2021 09:00 - 49 minutes - 67.9 MBIs it a red flag if they never ask about me? What are the warning signs for emotional unavailability? Are there any clues that someone is going to ghost? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on red flags and defines what a red flag is. She explains the actual meaning of red flags and why this word should not be used to describe everything. She discusses how the idea of foreseeing every red flag is flawed and why we need to have a balance of being aware of red flags and not being to...
Breakups: How do I know I made the right decision?
June 23, 2021 09:00 - 36 minutes - 50.4 MBCan you still stay friends if one person likes the other and it's not reciprocated? Should you end it if they don't want kids and you do? How do you know your breakup was the right decision? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on breakups and discusses the importance of making sure breakups are clean breaks. She talks about whether you actually should stay friends after a break-up and why it really doesn't matter who breaks up with who. She discusses why breakups should be a discu...
Breakups: How do I know I made the right decision?
June 23, 2021 09:00 - 36 minutes - 50.4 MBCan you still stay friends if one person likes the other and it's not reciprocated? Should you end it if they don't want kids and you do? How do you know your breakup was the right decision? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on breakups and discusses the importance of making sure breakups are clean breaks. She talks about whether you actually should stay friends after a break-up and why it really doesn't matter who breaks up with who. She discusses why breakups should be a discu...
Family: If I cut them out, will I regret it when they die?
June 16, 2021 09:00 - 39 minutes - 54.5 MBIf I cut family out, will I regret it when they die? What can you do when family treat me like I'm stupid? Is it OK to set boundaries over emails and text? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on family relationships and discusses how we should hold the same standards of treatment in our familal relationships than any other relationship in our life. She talks about how the media has perpetuated this idea of "perfect families" and how Christmas enhances this idea. She shows how to s...
Sex: How Do You Have The Consent Conversation Without Turning Them Off?
June 09, 2021 09:00 - 38 minutes - 53 MBHow do you have a consent conversation without turning them off? What do you do when penetration just doesn't work? Can you have a casual relationship without moving too quickly? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on sex and discusses how we focus too much on the penis and penetration in sex. She talks about how we need to prioritise female pleasure more and why the consent conversation is simply boundary setting. She talks about why so many women find penetration uncomfortable a...
Life Changes: What If I Can't Cope With The Responsibility?
June 02, 2021 09:00 - 39 minutes - 53.6 MBWhen you change a lot, is it normal to want to change your friends? How do you stop worrying about future responsibility coming into your life? And what do you do when you aren't sure who you are anymore? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on life changes and asks that we notice the distinction between the adjustment process vs a settled change. She talks about how changes in your life may result in unexpected changes in the relationships and dynamics with the people in your life...
Infidelity: Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?
May 26, 2021 09:00 - 33 minutes - 45.5 MBHow do you trust a new partner when the last one cheated on you? Is it true that "once a cheater, always a cheater"? And how do you end it with someone if the trust is broken for good. In this episode, Michelle answers questions on infidelity and talks about why what constitutes as cheating will change for every person. She talks about how cheating and infidelity relates to boundaries and whether people really can change. She talks about the lasting impact cheating can have on a relations...
Self Worth: How Do I Stop Self Sabotaging Myself?
May 19, 2021 09:00 - 36 minutes - 69.3 MBWhat do you do when you feel like you can never do enough personal development? How do you stop self-sabotaging your own success? And what do you do if you feel like an imposter when you are confident? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on self worth, what it is and how to build your own. She talks about how a lot of the self worth conversation is very lofty and why people need practical advice in order to actually create the changes in their life. She talks about imposter syndro...
Self Worth: How Do I Stop Self Sabotaging Myself?
May 19, 2021 09:00 - 36 minutes - 69.3 MBWhat do you do when you feel like you can never do enough personal development? How do you stop self-sabotaging your own success? And what do you do if you feel like an imposter when you are confident? In this episode, Michelle answers questions on self worth, what it is and how to build your own. She talks about how a lot of the self worth conversation is very lofty and why people need practical advice in order to actually create the changes in their life. She talks about imposter syndro...
Perfectionism: How Do I Address My Fear Of Failure?
May 12, 2021 09:00 - 37 minutes - 69.9 MBIn this episode, Michelle answers questions on what to do if you feel like your friends expect you to be perfect, how do you handle someone else's perfectionism affecting you in group projects and how to heal how fear of failure so it doesn't affect your life anymore. She talks about how she believes perfectionism is used as a protection from the ego and how the term 'perfectionist' is used to push others down and feel better about yourself. She discusses how a number of things are hiding be...
Single Life: Am I Happy Single Or Too Scared To Date?
May 05, 2021 09:00 - 38 minutes - 72.4 MBIn this episode, Michelle answers questions on how to handle jealousy at other people happy in love, whether people actually do change their mind about wanting a marriage and kids and when being single is just a disguise for not wanting to make yourself vulnerable to date. She talks about why she had a period of being consciously single and how that benefitted her life and why if you wouldn't date yourself, you still have things to work on before you are ready for a relationship. She gives y...
Slowing Down: How Can I Rest Without Feeling Guilty?
April 28, 2021 09:00 - 33 minutes - 62.2 MBIn this episode, Michelle answers questions on how to cope in a pandemic when we have so much time on our hands, what to do if you find yourself stressing about using your free time productively and how to stop feeling the constant need to be busy. She talks about how we as a society have glorified being busy for so long and why that has resulted in the pandemic being such a shock to so many people. She gives you tips on how to learn to rest without guilt and talks about how an absence of re...
Body Positivity: How Do I Love My Body When It Is Stopping Me From My Life?
April 21, 2021 09:00 - 40 minutes - 75.4 MBIn this episode, Michelle answers questions on how to love your body when it is in so much pain, how do you adjust when your body is stopping you from living your dream life and whether it is worth it to lose weight for insurance to cover your surgery. She goes into the difference between body positivity and body confidence and discusses how to love your body through chronic illness. She gives you tips on how to be more vocal within the body positive movement and why it's important to make y...
Cutting People Out: What Do I Do If They Act Differently Around Other People?
April 14, 2021 09:00 - 33 minutes - 61.9 MBIn this episode, Michelle answers questions on how to cut someone out, what to do if this person treats you differently to your other friend and whether you are allowed to cut someone out for giving you the silent treatment. She goes into how to handle it when people don't believe you and where to draw the line if someone is making up lies about you. She gives you tips on how to have that final conversation and what happens when there are mutual relationships and how when they get involved i...
Grief: How Do I Stop The Regrets?
April 07, 2021 09:00 - 35 minutes - 66.6 MBIn this episode, Michelle answers questions on how you grieve someone who is still alive, whether feelings of grief for an old therapist confuses feelings for a new therapist and what do you do if you wish you had spent more time together. She gives you tips on how to process grief and whether it's possible to move on from grief or whether moving on "with" grief is healthier and explains that grief is an emotion that can arise around any loss and not just bereavement. She also discusses a sc...
BONUS: Pick-Up Artists And Men Who Hate Women
January 13, 2021 10:00 - 32 minutes - 61.1 MBIn this special bonus episode, Michelle discusses how she found out about pick-up artists, why that relates to her training as a life coach and how neuro-linguistic programming are related to both. She goes back through her life and recalls moments that she now recognises as pick-up artist techniques and how the book "Men Who Hate Women" has opened up an important conversation that needs to be had. The increased awareness around this secret community is essential for changes to take place an...
Romantic Relationships: What Do I Do If My Husband Won't Talk About Kids?
December 16, 2020 10:00 - 29 minutes - 55 MBIn this episode, Michelle answers questions on what to do if you want kids but your partner gets angry everytime you bring the conversation up, whether it's acceptable to be jealous of your partner's friend and if money is a legitimate reason to end a relationship. She gives you tips on how to have productive arguments within a relationship and talks about how romantic relationships often brings up our shadow self and uses an example from her own life to demonstrate how we can use it as an o...