Communication Breakdown - Being Nice Is Not The Same As Being Kind

Mark introduces the topic in the context of self awareness, which then leads to self evaluation of, in this case, communication skills

He talks about generational differences, social media and a “laziness” that he sees creeping into our communication

Jim agrees and goes deeper into the generational distinction. He believes that younger people are too sensitive to words. Almost like they set booby traps for us. He feels that we are also confusing people by mixing up words and phrases. It’s ours to help them reframe positions

Jim brings up the Palestinian/Israeli conflict and the UNC “frat boys” who refuse to let the American Flag be lowered

Mark shares his feedback on “the river to the sea” and how misguided some of these young people are

Mark shares how similar he and his girlfriend are simply because they were born during the same year. He goes on to talk about the word “Oriental” and his experience with this “slur” in his yoga class

Words are getting bastardized. Jim calls hem the “thought police”

Mark brings up Jordan Peterson. How well he listens and how effective he is with his pause before responding. He also holds people accountable to his words, not their interpretation of his words

Jim brings up the difference between being nice and being kind

Jim says there are a lot of complainers out there now.  Nobody likes a complainer…they tolerate them. No one will stick around complainers long term. They tolerate and move away. Complainers want to complain without consideration of a resolution

Mark brings up the strategy of using questions to disarm. I don’t know, I’m pretty sure, I feel, I think, I know…these are very different phrases… that mean very different things

Jim likes smart people, regardless of group affiliation.  Mark adds the importance of kindness as well

Mark says try to not focus on winning or being right. Also too many people are too easily offended

Mark talks about the power and danger of groups

Jim shares a couple of stories. One about privilege. What is it and why is it important or not so much?

The second about protesting in the 60’s versus today. That today’s protesters don’t seem to know much about why they’re protesting or what they’re protesting. Jim says young people are mad because they got shit on (Covid, etc…)

Mark says we allow too much complaining.  It’s about how you respond, to what happens to you

Jim brings the flywheel back in

Mark talks about leading conversations with questions and don’t try to change minds or be “right”

Jim’s quotes “To get what you want, give people what they want”

Begin with what success looks like

Fear drives much of our behavior…Try to find out what those fears are

Be respectful

Past present and future are all factors

Be transparent and work hard to create clarity